RE: Why Hasn't Game Worked?
I just had a VERY interesting night.
After a rather long time without doing any night-game (or much gaming in general), I decided to go out for an honest-to-goodness club pickup. Just like old times.
I picked the best club I could think of in the city, one with a bouncing dance floor. I went with an open mind, and no specific expectations, except to learn, experience, and scrub some of the rust off my game.
I went all in, partaking of the leafy sacrament upstairs, and then hitting the dance floor in my best condition. But on the way there, on the staircase, I came across two girls, at least one of whom gave me a particularly intense, direct, playful staredown. Her "look" was that of a "club chick", the kind that goes to clubs a lot, and really gets into it. Midriff showing - very rare in conservative western China. I made a mental note to talk to her at some point.
I get to the dance floor, and within a minute, that same girl shows up right next to me, with her friend, also very attractive, and they start dancing right next to me, making repeated eye contact with me and smiling a naughty smile my way.
Whereas in times past, I would have thought "ok, how do I make this happen?", tonight, I had a different thought - "Let this happen." Very different attitude. Having recently exorcised a literal demon (those things are real) that had been following me around for probably my whole life, I realized that with that dude gone, the thing that was stopping me wasn't there anymore. In other words, it wasn't that I "didn't know how" to get girls - I always knew how, but there was something stopping me, and now, with that thing gone, there was no need to figure how how to make it happen, because it happens on its own, naturally. So I just let it.
And it did. Flirty glances, a little bit of showing off, good spirits, and allowing (there's that key word - allowing) the girls to get closer to me, within a minute I was in a circle with them. Me, the midriff girl, and her friend. Then a third girl (a friend of theirs) joined in, and I was dancing with three girls, basically all focused on me.
I was like, whoa, this is cool.
Then the third girl left the circle, and a few dudes started to squeeze in to take her place. I returned to focusing on the first two girls: Midriff Girl and her friend.
I noticed that I was paying a lot of attention to Midriff Girl, and not much to her friend. I mean, midriffs are kind of enchanting. But I realized that I might be missing out on this other girl. She's actually pretty cute. Dressed conservatively in a black sweater. But very cute. I make it a point to divide my attention evenly between them, not picking and choosing.
Soon, the dynamic seems to shift toward the friend. Let's call her Potential Girlfriend-material Girl. PGmG for short.
Within a few more minutes, we're making simple kino (high fives, hand-holding when everyone formed into a ring-dance, a brief hand on her shoulder after accidently bumping into her a bit), and she's not backing away. Her face is lit up, radiant, happy.
I've done a lot of game in my day (as those of you who read my 3000-approach thread know quite well), and I remember very very few times when I did this well in a night-game setting, so quickly, so smoothly, so flawlessly, and so effortlessly. This was like a reawakening of reality for me. I kept repeating, "let it happen, let it happen" in my mind.
For one song, we hold both hands, raising them above our heads, pressing palms together, doing a twirl, and she's having a blast. Her friends even seem to be trying to set her up. I got the impression that she had maybe been down on her luck in the love department recently, and her friends were hoping for her to find another guy, to stop being single. I don't know whether that's true - it's just the sort of vibe I got from the situation, because her friends were being unusually supportive of getting her together with me. They were kind of cheering it on, vibe-wise.
After that song ended, I was thirsty, so I told her I was gonna go get water. I attempted to ask her if she wanted anything from the bar (in my still very rudimentary Mandarin), and the communication barrier led to a brief chat where we were trying to figure out what each other was saying. Eventually I made a pantomime of drinking water, and pointed to the bar, and went to get a drink. I got water (my favorite). I thought about getting her a water, but realized it could be creepy to pressure a girl to drink from an open glass (roofies and such), so I decided to just get one for myself. Then I made my way back over to where we were.
They weren't there. I thought that was kind of odd. I was gone for maybe... 3 minutes? 4 minutes tops. I waited, sipping my water. Eventually PGmG came back. Same smile, same enthusiasm - but she was with a dude this time. Two of them. Two of the same ones that had been trying to get into the original dance circle from before. Now I could tell they were definitely batting for the other team. In fact, during the dance circle, they had been oddly more focused on me than on the girls. That's an annoying thing that tends to happen a lot when I do dance-floor game.
So anyway, the four of us are now talking. Me, PGmG, and her two probably-gay friends. I make sure to avoid being rude to the dudes, to include them in the conversation in a polite way, while continuing to chat mainly with PGmG. I have what small conversation I can have with her, given the language issue. I figure out where she's from - she's a tourist here (I live in a major tourist town), and is going to be in town for 2 more days. I ask her if she's been up the mountain yet (there's a big snow-capped mountain that dominates the topography, which many people come here to see). She says she hasn't. I'm shocked. I tell her she mustn't leave without going there, and I offer to show it to her. I ask for her Wechat.
When I ask for her Wechat, the two gay dudes start to go bonkers. They start saying "wei xin! [Chinese for Wechat] Wei xin!" while laughing to themselves as if my request was crazy and hilarious. They put their arms around PGmG, saying something to her in Chinese (probably "why would you give him your Wechat? Don't be silly!") or something along those lines.
But the girl is remaining stalwart. She's not giving in to their shenanigans. I can tell she's under pressure, and feels very shy about the whole thing... but she's not walking away. She's staying there, continuing to face me, continuing to talk to me, even though she's blushing more and more. Finally I man up and look directly at her and say "Wechat". She gets out her phone, and we exchange information.
It was implied that they were all getting ready to leave, so I assumed the interaction was over. I made my way off the dance floor, and ran into Midriff Girl sitting at a table with several other people. She waved to me and smiled and big smile, so I went over and talked to her. Learned her name, learned a few more things about her and her friends. I sat down, and met the girl sitting next to her... let's call her Librarian Girl. She had a librarianny and slightly kinkyish and also slightly tomboyish vibe. Her English was the best of the whole crowd. I got into a conversation with her, learning yet more about the group.
I must emphasize that they were all welcoming and inviting, and that this all flowed easily, with approval and enthusiasm from all of them. I was not acting like some aspie oblivious to social cues. They were inviting me, offering me food, pouring beer for me, holding up their cups to gan bei (cheers) me, and so forth.
So while conversing with Librarian Girl, Midriff Girl gets up and goes somewhere, and their friend - the one who had been in the dance circle earlier, the third girl when I was dancing with three - she shows up, and she's the most drunk of them all. She does some... what's the word.. ho-ey? Slutty gestures/moves? Like she caressed me while moaning, briefly. The kind a working-girl does when she's trying to entice you. I found it a bit weird. Too soon. Too drunk. No context. Just wasn't into this. But I asked her her name, and introduced myself. Just being friendly to everyone in the social circle.
PGmG (Potential Girlfriend-material Girl) comes back to the table, taps me on the shoulder, and says she's going to the dance floor, and that that's where I can find her. She goes off. I chat with Librarian Girl and Call-girl-like Girl for another minute or so. The conversation lulls, so I get up and tell them I'm going to the dance floor. I invite them to come along. They say no, they're staying at the table, and Call-girl-like Girl tells me to go - go to the dance floor. Adding to my sense that the whole group is trying to set me and PGmG up together.
Now here's where it got weird.
I go to the dance floor. They're not there. I wander around a bit. I find PGmG at a table with the two gay dudes, drinking. I see them, and say hey. Something's weird - they're not being so friendly this time. I gan bei (cheers) them, and after that, one of the gay dudes starts saying/shouting something at PGmG. They start arguing (I have no idea what they're saying), and after a few moments, gay dude drags her off. He literally grabs her by the arm, and pulls her away from the table. He walks very quickly, dragging her with quite a bit of force it seems, back to their table.
I follow them back, and when I get there, PGmG is laying down next to Librarian Girl, and she's got a jacket or something covering up her body, and I can't see her face. I sit down next to her, and ask her what happened back there - why did he drag you like that? Is everything alright? She looks very embarrassed, blushing a lot, and won't answer. I ask Libarian Girl what's going on. She doesn't really respond. I get out my phone and start typing something into Translate, but before I finish, one of the club staff comes over to me, taps me on the shoulder, and beckons me to get up and leave.
I ask him why. He makes the "leave" gesture again. I type in Translate "what happened?" He types back "They don't like you."
I type in "Actually, she likes me, but I think her gay friends are jealous." He laughs, and shakes his head, as if to say "Hey, I was asked to get you to leave, I don't know what happened, I'm just doing my job, I don't know anything about this situation, sorry."
I go back over to the dance floor, but decide I need some fresh air, so I go back outside for a bit. I sit and think about what just happened.
I have some VERY interesting ideas about what happened.
But before I get to the analysis, let's finish up the story. Eventually I go back inside. I go to the bathroom. The men's room is being mopped, so the staff is directing men into the women's bathroom. There's a bit of a line to use the stalls, so I stand in line. While I'm standing there, Librarian Girl comes in. She walks right in front of me, without saying anything, and stands in the line for the stall next to mine. I say hey. She says hey, curtly. I ask her "what happened back there?" All she says is, "...yea."
I ask her if I did something wrong. I ask her if she, or anyone in the group, is mad at me. I ask her again, if I did anything wrong. She won't say a word. Just stands there with her arms crossed, looking away from me.
On my way out of the club, I see the gay dudes drinking at a table. I go over and ask them "what happened?" They're hostile towards me. I open Translate, switch it to CN-EN, and ask one of the dudes to type in an answer. He types: "They don't like you."
I know I have PGmG's Wechat. I don't need these weirdos anymore - I can just message her directly. I say ok, shake their hands, and wish them a good night.
So... what happened?
Here's my hypothesis.
The gay dudes were jealous, and tried to sabotage the budding relationship. But it's more than that.
Gay dudes are an issue whenever I do dance-floor game. They always try to get in between me and whatever girl I'm focused on. It's a persistent annoyance, and I'm not sure how to stop it. I can't be outright rude to them - it looks really bad. What I usually end up doing is just ignoring them, and continuing to focus on the girl.
I think it's my size. I'm 5'2". To be blunt, I think they think I'd make a good... uh... whatever term they use for such things. It's quite disturbing to think about, but we're all grownups here. Forget about pride - I want to understand what's going on.
So I think what we've got going on here is a conspiracy.
It's a conspiracy, by queers, to sabotage heterosexual relationships, in order to frustrate people, thus creating more queers, and more potential partners for them.
It's a... consqueeracy.
Guys, what if... What if this whole cultural shitstorm we've had going on for the past several decades was a massive, coordinated effort by queers to engineer more queers? I mean, what if they infiltrated government and media and everything, in order to deliberately screw up heterosexual relationships, to sabotage us, to prevent us from being satisfied (or in tonight's case, prevent our relationships from even forming in the first place) - all so that we'd eventually give up, go over to the "dark side", give queerness a shot, and broaden their pool of potential partners?
Librarian Girl definitely had something queer going on with her. She, I feel, was batting for that team. And after her cold-shoulder treatment at the end, it's obvious that she took part in the conspiracy, however it unfolded.
In contrast, Midriff Girl was clearly very heterosexual, and she seemed to be trying to bring me and PGmG together, to set us up with each other.
And then of course, PGmG herself was into me, very engaged, and very happy when she was talking to me.
Everyone in the group who was normal was pro, and all the queers were anti.
This is really weird. Has anyone ever thought about this kinda stuff before?
TLDR: I got back into club game, had a really smooth, effortless connection with a girl on the dance floor, felt like a sexy awesome beast, and was then sabotaged by some queers, and now I'm wondering if there's a wider "consqueeracy."
(This post was last modified: 03-18-2017 05:31 AM by thegreenman.)