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Poll: Do you feel more bitter towards men who have taken opportunities you haven't taken?
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Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
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xpatplayer Offline
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Post: #1
Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
Think about it - Don't start a business and you hate business owners. Don't get a good phone and you hate all people with good phones. Don't learn golf and you hate all weekend golfers. Don't rush a fraternity and you hate everyone in Greek life.

The above examples are exaggerations but they reflect the truth.

If you want to be emotionally healthy - take opportunities and make the most of your time.

Am I right or wrong? Discuss.
(This post was last modified: 06-06-2014 01:11 AM by xpatplayer.)
06-06-2014 01:10 AM
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Post: #2
RE: Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
Don't approach women or learn game, become a game denialist.
(This post was last modified: 06-06-2014 03:01 AM by username.)
06-06-2014 02:59 AM
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Virtus Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
What if one is an existential nihilist & a misantrope? What then? What if it feels that the world be a better place if it burned around once or twice? But it feels not strongly enough to actually go out and find a red button to push. Because of that aforementioned nihilism? How does that happen? Not enough love & care? Did I say the L word?

"Virtus"
06-06-2014 03:15 AM
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Saweeep Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
They may be true for you OP.

I tend to look on the brighter side of missed opportunities: i.e. i won't miss it next time.

Can't say I really hate anyone for the things they do or buy…

How old are you?
06-06-2014 09:41 AM
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Rutting Elephant Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
I am not sure in which book Nabokov wrote it (I think Pnin), but it stuck with me even if I can't quote verbatim:
There is no feeling in life more mundane than a missed opportunity.
06-06-2014 10:30 AM
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xpatplayer Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
(06-06-2014 09:41 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  They may be true for you OP.

I tend to look on the brighter side of missed opportunities: i.e. i won't miss it next time.

Can't say I really hate anyone for the things they do or buy…

How old are you?

I'm 19.

Its less about hating people and becoming a complete shut-out, more about rationalizing things you wish you had done.

In Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Dr. Robert Cialdini the author talks about the principle of consistency. As a part of the desire to remain consistent, we will rationalize irrational or bad decisions. This got me thinking and inspired me to start this thread.

Lets say 3 of your friends decide to start a band and reach out to you. You say no and they become wildly successful after a few years. Your brain's immediate reaction is to rationalize not joining by thinking things like 'their music sucks' or 'Well I like my privacy and hate tabloids so its good I didn't join'.
06-06-2014 10:31 AM
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Brosemite Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
Yeah there were some opportunities I missed out on...that ended up being dodged bullets Smile

Great post though. As you get older..it's all about being able to get a calibration of your 1) short-term and 2) long-term goals while compromising both to get desired results. One missed opportunity usually result in something better coming up (least that was for me at times).

yb13
06-06-2014 10:36 AM
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TheFinalEpic Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
There is no point in being bitter towards those that take chances that you could also take. I look at it this way, if someone has done something before me, there is even more incentive to pursue it because it is possible.

We collectively can agree that the only bad opportunity is an opportunity not taken, life is short, go out and make the most of it.

"Money over bitches, nigga stick to the script." - Jay-Z
They gonna love me for my ambition.
06-06-2014 12:57 PM
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Blunt Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
Yeah I think a lot of guys fall victim to this kind of thinking, including myself occasionally.

I think you're conclusion about taking up opportunities leading to less regret is definitely true.

Regret in itself is a strange concept since it focuses only on negative 'potential losses' from a decision instead of the realized benefits that'd wouldn't have occurred had you made the other choice.
06-06-2014 03:23 PM
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General Mayhem Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
I stopped being bitter towards other people. That is emotionally healthy.

Being bitter is about as beta as it gets. I've seen dudes who venomously hate on greeks and it's pathetic. I would have been swimming in a sea of sorority pussy if I would have rushed, but I probably would have missed out on banging out a third of the cheer team as well as every other opportunity that I have had because I'm not greek. Still, I look at greeks and say, "good for them." They have their world and I have mine.

You gotta realize that when you come to a fork in the road that there are opportunities no matter if you go left or right.

It's no big deal if you take a wrong turn every now and then, some opportunities aren't even right for you to take. Some people aren't cut out to own businesses. The good news is that there will always be another opportunity.

Learn from everyone, and understand that you are running your own race. Life is too short to be caught up in what everyone else is doing. Some things are better to want than to actually have.
06-06-2014 04:31 PM
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Mage Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Not taking opportunities makes you bitter
There is obviously no research to support this but I am sure that seeing a beautiful women and not hitting on her lowers a man's testosterone and reduces his lifespan, makes him more likely to get depressed and tired. This makes betas tired, fat and aggressive white knights.

A natural man's response when interacting with a beautiful woman is to flirt and tease. Even if it doesn't lead to sex, it improves the mood and rises the energy of everybody involved. The sterile environments of western offices and public places is a nest of psychological diseases.

I would even say that the western obsession with hookup culture and one night stands is due to people being denied a sexual banter in everyday talk and dissolution of sexual roles. Which leaves sex the only place where these roles can be lived. Therefore west is so obsessed with sex without procreation. In any more traditional culture where a man is allowed to say sexist jokes aloud, the people's preference for relationships over hookups is higher.
06-07-2014 05:26 AM
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