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What is Holding Men Back?
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DVY Offline
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Post: #26
RE: What is Holding Men Back?
its too bad. Top quality members have been dropping out or getting banned.

He pushed the envelope, but it wasn't terrible or unsocial or wtvr.

WIA- For most of men, our time being masters of our own fate, kings in our own castles is short. Even those of us in the game will eventually succumb to ease of servitude rather than deal with the malaise of solitude
08-05-2014 11:17 AM
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RouteBackwards Offline
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Post: #27
RE: What is Holding Men Back?
(08-04-2014 07:37 PM)Goldmund Wrote:  Was out surfing today and had a lot of time to think in between sets.

I recalled attending my cousin’s graduation this year—there was a pretty good keynote speaker. He grew up in the projects of Brownsville where he cracked the code of high school, got scholarships to and attended an Ivy League school, and is now a well-respected scholar.

His speech was very motivational and he kept reiterating the fact that the limitations people have in this culture are brought on first and foremost by themselves. His main point was that knowledge is power and we need to be constantly seeking knowledge and devouring information. True dat.

It got me thinking and I want to delve deeper into the topic.

I want to know what you think men’s main obstacles are in this world. What is holding them back? What is keeping them ‘blue pill’?

Of course its all up to every individual—you are the only one to blame. Living in America is still a fucking goldmine of opportunity if you have the willpower to do it—but most people are lazy fucks.

I want to know what specific experiences/limitations men put on themselves…here are a few that came to mind.

• ignorance
• anxiety
• self doubt
• other people (so called friends who are content being losers)
• fear
• comfort
• laziness

Thoughts on this?

These are all things I faced to some varying degree. I attribute it to not having a father during my life. My late teens was a huge wake up call. I felt like I relearned to socialize, and conquered a lot of fears. Not all men are fortunate, but I knew something was wrong, and instead of lingering in self doubt and fear, I decided to do something about my situation and learn from greater men, father figures if you will, how to get what I wanted.

Truthfully though, I would not have been as fortunate to have these self correcting behaviours if my mother wasn't so smart. She was well educated, and even though she naturally modelled a lot feminine behaviours to me while I was growing up, her teaching me to critically think for myself and to seek knowledge, lead me to assessing myself and figuring out what was missing in my life. I have a lot of friends who grew up with a single mother who were quite frankly, uneducated and very one sided in their viewpoints.

You never get over not having a father and I envy those who grew up in a nuclear family, but I am finally at a point in my life where I do not feel like it is holding me back any longer. From what I have observed, it feels like the biggest thing holding men back is not having a father or not, but a positive father or father figure that embodies masculine traits. I have a lot of male friends who have fathers who are just as emotional and anxious as their wives, and inadvertently these friends ended up in the same boat as me even though they had both parents.

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(This post was last modified: 08-05-2014 11:21 AM by RouteBackwards.)
08-05-2014 11:20 AM
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WestIndianArchie Offline
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Post: #28
RE: What is Holding Men Back?
(08-05-2014 10:53 AM)soup Wrote:  WIA- what about the rapist post seemed like a bad idea? That thread is very still open so I don't think it was that.

I met with Goldmund three times- the guy is legit. I couldn't find anything he was doing here that would warrant a ban. I'm very confused and actually a bit worried if there was something that happened in Mexico.

Bad pub for the forum?

Not sure to be honest. I liked dude.

Maybe he was in some political thread and got too aggravated.

WIA
08-05-2014 11:58 AM
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soup Offline
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Post: #29
RE: What is Holding Men Back?
(08-05-2014 11:58 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  
(08-05-2014 10:53 AM)soup Wrote:  WIA- what about the rapist post seemed like a bad idea? That thread is very still open so I don't think it was that.

I met with Goldmund three times- the guy is legit. I couldn't find anything he was doing here that would warrant a ban. I'm very confused and actually a bit worried if there was something that happened in Mexico.

Bad pub for the forum?

Not sure to be honest. I liked dude.

Maybe he was in some political thread and got too aggravated.

WIA

I didn't see any aggravation posts.. even if there was one, it usually results in a warning, and not a full-on ban.

If the thread about meeting a guy who claims he was a rapist is the issue- that would probably be a warning and suspension before a ban, especially considering that Goldmund's rep was good here and offline.

Even Heartiste linked to his thread on camera game.

I'm baffled.
08-05-2014 12:20 PM
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NY Digital Offline
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Post: #30
RE: What is Holding Men Back?
Would like an explanation like we had with the old banned member explanation thread for anyone with over 200+ posts.

Why was Screwston(Houston) banned btw?
08-05-2014 12:33 PM
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unbowed Offline
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Post: #31
RE: What is Holding Men Back?
Riffing off LeBeau and Renberg and the manosphere in general:

Failure. Failure to fail, to try, to go through a period of trial and error. We're incubated in the education system to succeed. High school is linear trying to hustle you into college. College is linear, trying to get you to more college or a maze of corporate hell. Corporate hell wants you to invest in 401ks and assorted programs. We come to trust the system rather than find a way for ourselves. We are told we need to feel positive and strive for perfection instead of tinkering our way through.

Science progresses through failure. Technology progresses through failure. Bangs happen through failure. The more we want perfection, the more we sterilize life. It would be great if the stars aligned and everything fit perfectly, but reality shows otherwise.

In that sense I disagree with the scholar regarding information. There's too much information in this day and age, and even more disinformation. Instead of devouring so much, we should be skeptical of knowledge and factor in our experience. Of course there's a degree to which books, guides and inspirational stories are useful, but the whole point is to act on it. Even better, the whole point is not to have to read it unless the situation calls for it.

Man's quest for certainty delays life. Sate your curiosity through first hand experience as much as possible. Then when you read other's experience, you can compare notes.

Reading too many different methods, philosophies, and how-to's, in addition to passively consuming media leads to life being lived through a filter. This is why so many girls don't have true opinions or feelings. Because they're so bombarded with media that they have a "disney" caricature of what life is.

Every argument has a counterargument so man becomes paralyzed and can't make a choice. There is no right or wrong and everyone's opinion is equal is what we grow up with. Political correctness crushes man's balls as there's a rebuttal by an academic for everything he desires and feels.

Instead of living, men become like women - voyeurists who live through others who are pre-selected (usually in the form of celebrities or pundits) instead of taking control and writing their own story, going through their own birth by fire.

Nothing beats getting your boots muddied. Don't be content cheering on the sidelines.

And Goldmund:

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08-05-2014 05:50 PM
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Yeti Offline
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Post: #32
RE: What is Holding Men Back?
I suspect that it had something to do with him linking to his webpage.
08-05-2014 06:25 PM
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OkStudies Offline
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Post: #33
RE: What is Holding Men Back?
(08-04-2014 09:42 PM)monster Wrote:  Biologically, most people - men & women - are meant to be followers. They're not supposed to "get it." They're supposed to assist the community. It's only a few who are supposed to "get it" and lead men.

I don't get how you came to a "biological" conclusion about this.
08-05-2014 07:27 PM
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Walderschmidt Offline
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Post: #34
RE: What is Holding Men Back?
(08-05-2014 06:25 PM)Yeti Wrote:  I suspect that it had something to do with him linking to his webpage.

How so?

A bunch of us have our blogs in our sigs.

Is it because his encounter with a rapist post was also a blog post?

Wald
08-05-2014 07:41 PM
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Saga Offline
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Post: #35
RE: What is Holding Men Back?
It's a lack of purpose, a lack of duty (what the ancient Romans called pietas). A great comment on ROK noted that whereas women will follow leaders who offer them rewards without purpose, men will follow leaders who offer them purpose without reward. Most men are at their best when they're fulfilling a mission, when they're answering a duty to a cause greater than himself. The Greatest Generation, like so many others before it, only became great when it collectively faced a great task; today, we have no such common task, no shared mission, no higher calling.

Modern society doesn't function on the basis of duty or purpose, but on materialism and narcissism. To our leaders and to our society's architects, today's denizen is not a citizen in the full sense of the word, he is not a servant of a cause but merely a consumer, someone who is useful only insofar as he buys things or else encourages others to buy. Modern man is exhorted not to self-sacrifice but to constant selfishness, a mode of existence which appeals to femininity and not masculinity. Accordingly, image and not substance is the zeitgeist of our time, and as such it ushers in the enthusiastic worst of women and the discouraged worst of men.

The lack of purpose, I think, is really the heart of it. Men aren't fulfilled by a facebook profile and an office job that merely funds shopping sprees, but that's all that's left.
08-05-2014 07:43 PM
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OkStudies Offline
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Post: #36
RE: What is Holding Men Back?
(08-05-2014 07:43 PM)Saga Wrote:  Modern society doesn't function on the basis of duty or purpose, but on materialism and narcissism. To our leaders and to our society's architects, today's denizen is not a citizen in the full sense of the word, he is not a servant of a cause but merely a consumer, someone who is useful only insofar as he buys things or else encourages others to buy. Modern man is exhorted not to self-sacrifice but to constant selfishness, a mode of existence

Duty to what? What do men owe one another?

In a capitalistic (i.e. western) society, you have to *sell* people (i.e. voluntary persuasion) on what you want them to do. You have to sell them on the benefits of doing what you want. This goes for women as well. You want sexy housewives? Sell them on why it is superior to being a career woman.

Have you not noticed the thread here? Nothing is duty. Nothing is compulsory in the west. The manophere needs sales skills to sell our ideas.
08-05-2014 08:39 PM
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