I'm Touring The United States! Starting in June, I'm conducting private events in 23 American cities. Click here for full details.

Post Reply 
The Only Rule For Ex's
Author Message
xxMarco Offline
Robin
*

Posts: 227
Joined: Dec 2013
Reputation: 10
Post: #76
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
Welp I fucked up. I contacted my ex again. I dumped her about a month ago for the second time. We were just always fighting and the relationship was starting to stress me out. We broke up on good terms.

Fast forward to this weekend I met a girl at the club but for some reason I kept comparing her to my ex. Not physically but mentally, the ex is more mature and old, club girl just turned 21 and doesn't really have any future plans. I decided to reach out to my ex to catch up and probably rekindle our relationship, maybe I wasn't trying hard enough and I was unreasonable in a few things and we can work things out if I tried. Reminiscing about the times we had and how maybe its time I settle down and stop wasting my time with club bitches.

Big fucking mistake. I text her and turns out she quit the job where I met her at last week and went to work at a nightclub as a bottle server. Then she says she's been dating an amazing guy that is everything she has ever wanted yada yada yada. They're getting really serious and planning their life together. Whole different person then the girl I knew.

I read this thread about 5 times before contacting her. Damn do I feel stupid now.
05-30-2016 09:55 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes xxMarco's post:
OneEyedMonk
Bone Hammer Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 4
Joined: Nov 2015
Reputation: 0
Post: #77
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
Just broke it off with my ideal LTR type girl. I'm hungry now- huge weight off my shoulders.

Checking out this thread just reinforced what i accomplished today.
This is a hell of a community. I look forward to contributing to the forum thats given a young dude so much value.
05-30-2016 11:35 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
donn Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 33
Joined: Jul 2016
Reputation: 0
Post: #78
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
"The only rule is, you can't go back"
But what if she did come back and years later everything looks fine. I see many friends of mine that do the same mistake, even me.
You keep wonder if you did the right choice and can't change the decision.
(This post was last modified: 07-10-2016 02:47 PM by donn.)
07-10-2016 02:47 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Soyouz Offline
Robin
*

Posts: 139
Joined: Feb 2015
Reputation: 3
Post: #79
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
I see only one reason to see an ex again : if she had breast surgery.

Have fun with the new pair of tits, then move on and go bang someone else.
07-10-2016 05:07 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
BoiBoi Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 933
Joined: Apr 2011
Reputation: 12
Post: #80
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
It's been over half a year since I've last posted here and thought I might give you an update on my situation. Might serve some of guys as a reminder.

To recap:

Gf of ~4 years had dumped me. I was all sad, met her a couple of months later, where she hinted at a possible restart. She told me that she had banged some other dude in the meantime. I still considered it, but evetually said fuck it (with help/ insight of you guys). Had a rough month or two.

7 months later:

I hardly think of that girl at all. Got a great job at a German company in Latin America and a hot 22-year-old getting on a plane to visit me in a couple of weeks (on her dime). Life is good.

So, why am I telling you this?

Well, because I was almost about to re-enter a relationship with my former gf, accepting the fact that she had banged some other dude and by doing so, putting myself voluntarily in a position of weakness. I almost went with that option, despite the fact there are girls out there, who would pay 700+ U$ for a long distance flight just to come visit me.

To quote the great Jariel:

Don't allow yourself to be some pussy-whipped ass dude who is scared of going back out in the world, putting in work so that you can shine and become a better man who can get a better bitch who gives you better sex because she actually wants to be with you, and would do anything to keep you in her life.

Don't sell yourselves short gentlemen!
09-10-2016 07:07 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 20 users Like BoiBoi's post:
General Stalin, Vaun, kaotic, King of Monkeys, Dagnasty, OneEyedMonk, TTQQTT, Palo_alto, RunsWithScissors, Moma, Saccade, Graft, Atlanta Man, Vainikka, Built to Fade, CaptainChardonnay, Savonarola, Zoso, RatInTheWoods, DamienCasanova
[email protected] Offline
Pelican
****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,045
Joined: Dec 2016
Reputation: 12
Post: #81
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
Saw this thread linked in another thread so I thought I would bump it.

So much great info in here. Hits close to home for a lot of us I imagine.

I have an ex I think about from time to time. We were together almost a year from 2008-2009. Probably the best body of any girl I have ever been with. The sex was great, her tits were perfect, ass...perfect, long legs, pretty face, minimal make up, gave great blowjobs, let me fuck her ass. One of my best memories of her is coming over to her place on Valentines Day 2009 and she is wearing a red lacey lingerie get up, with red heels. I was like a kid in a candy store getting his first taste of sugar. I fucked the shit out of her many times that night. These are the memories that come to mind when I think about her at first...

And then I remember that she would get cold sores on her mouth. She was embarrassed by them and they kind of grossed me out and I was afraid of catching them from her so we wouldn't kiss or have any physical contact while she had them. She was an accountant, so managing money was her job. Which was cool until she started to try and manage MY money. Telling me what I could and could not spend it on. How I should save more, etc., etc. Our fights would sometimes escalate into becoming physical (her moreso than me). I put up with all this bad stuff because of all the good stuff I was getting. In the end, all the bad stuff was just too much for the good stuff to overcome so I dumped her.

Like Jariel said, there is a reason why she is no longer in your life. Whether you dumped her or vice versa it doesn't really matter. Living in the past prevents you from living in the present and forging a better future. You are where you are today because of the decisions you made in the past. Don't live life with regret. You made no 'wrongs', just an experience which you learned from and made you a better man today.

"Once you've gotten the lay you have won."- Mufasa

"You Miss 100% of the shots you don't take"- Wayne Gretzky
02-02-2017 11:43 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like [email protected]'s post:
jumbo tron, Built to Fade
Geomann180 Offline
Ostrich
****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,838
Joined: Oct 2014
Reputation: 57
Post: #82
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
Such a great thread. Could always use a bump.

G
12-15-2017 12:50 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Geomann180's post:
True Balla, Atlanta Man, Built to Fade
redbeard Offline
Hummingbird
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,903
Joined: Jan 2014
Reputation: 71
Post: #83
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
(08-19-2014 07:07 AM)jariel Wrote:  If a chick left you or you left her, there was a reason for it.

Regardless of which side of the table you're on, there is probably some of level of blame that can be shared as to how you got there.

With that being said, all that matters is that you got there.

And the only rule is, you can't go back.

When women leave you, sometimes they come back, after they've dealt with some other dicks, and found that the grass wasn't greener. They become nostalgic about your old relationship, they'll say things like "you were the only one who truly knew me", "I didn't realize what I had until it was gone", or "I know it will take some time, but I think we should give it another chance".

No bitch, you're out of time.

If the separation was on you, there was a reason you wanted to leave her behind, don't forget that, don't allow good memories to whitewash the reality.

She wasn't that bitch.

Move on, you can find her, she is out there.

bump

1 Year NoFap Veteran --- No Days Off in Trump's America
10-18-2018 08:39 AM
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like redbeard's post:
456, Built to Fade, kaotic
1RationalDoc Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 49
Joined: Jul 2018
Reputation: 1
Post: #84
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
One thing worthy of note is, that if the relationship broke off on a bad term, it's always best not to jump back on that ship. The past problems will always be the big elephant in the room and trying to solve it is really not worth it. One should spend that time and energy on finding other chicks.
10-18-2018 12:35 PM
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes 1RationalDoc's post:
Built to Fade
NoMoreTO Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 771
Joined: Jan 2018
Reputation: 12
Post: #85
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
I think you/they can sometimes go back once, sometimes there are circumstances:
- distance
- specific issue un resolved

But more than once you are in a broken relationship and likely using breakups as a fighting/power tactic, or you have one great part (great sex, day to day compatibility) and are missing something

“Where the danger is, so grows the saving element.” ~ German poet Hoelderlin
10-18-2018 01:06 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
JackinMelbourne Away
Banned

Posts: 765
Joined: Jan 2017
Post: #86
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
Totally depends on the woman but who cares if you're going back for another bang a year later. If you can't control your emotions then work on that and go eternal ghost, otherwise a bang is a bang (sometimes a great bang) and you can always "break up" again... if it's even official. And it should never be official after the first fail. Just forever "friends" and that's it.

Win/win is the most fun.
10-18-2018 04:45 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes JackinMelbourne's post:
rottenapple
Pytonga Offline
Sparrow

Posts: 59
Joined: Jul 2018
Reputation: 0
Post: #87
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
Great post.
I can only add "0 contact rule" - block ex on Facebook, Whatsup, mobile...

Really helps.
10-19-2018 09:49 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Batman_ Offline
Woodpecker
**

Posts: 300
Joined: Jul 2017
Reputation: 2
Post: #88
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
I have to admit - I think what I really miss about my ex is the sex. Haven't topped it to this day.

"I drink only the finest breast milks."
"That's 100% Cambodian."
(This post was last modified: 02-07-2019 08:41 PM by Batman_.)
02-07-2019 08:39 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Stirfry Offline
Robin
*

Posts: 228
Joined: Aug 2015
Reputation: 15
Post: #89
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
There was a thread here a while ago that I found very helpful while going through a bad breakup, stressing the importance of getting rid of old pictures, texts, emails, etc.

I have this tendency to romanticize the past and to linger over old photos and messages, but there’s a risk that comes along with that of getting nostalgic and attempting contact again. At the very least I know that I would probably just make myself miserable looking at happy pictures and reminiscing about “old times.”

So after this one messy breakup I deleted just about everything. With no temptations to look at old photos and love letters I think my recovery went quite nicely. That, and going on a few dates right after- these were never going to be long term relationships, but it was a nice ego boost and a good way to get my mind off of the ex and onto new things.
02-11-2019 01:17 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Mrredsquare Offline
Robin
*
Silver Member

Posts: 143
Joined: Nov 2015
Reputation: 0
Post: #90
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
This thread is gold and just what i needed to hear.
02-11-2019 04:25 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Cman Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 34
Joined: Feb 2019
Reputation: 0
Post: #91
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
I wonder if this thread should be pinned. It's honestly super helpful.
02-19-2019 10:30 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Zoso Offline
Robin
*

Posts: 216
Joined: Jun 2017
Reputation: 1
Post: #92
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
I just re started comunication with my ex gf from 6 years ago.
I think just banging is all ok as long as someone doesn't catch feelings again (thus ignoring the main reason why he ended the relationship).

While you dont let her know she is not ltr status anymore, you dont lose the frame.
02-19-2019 11:52 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
questor70 Offline
Ostrich
****

Posts: 2,238
Joined: Jan 2017
Reputation: 19
Post: #93
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
In my experience, banging an ex doesn't work because even with an FWB situation I expect monogamy. That turns it into a dead-end LTR with an indeterminate endpoint. The glass seems half-full at first but over time you'll miss that feeling of being in a relationship with no predefined limits. A few carefully spaced out drought-busting booty calls is all that's safe to do, IMHO.
02-19-2019 05:57 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Freebird Flying Offline
Woodpecker
**

Posts: 272
Joined: Mar 2016
Reputation: 4
Post: #94
RE: The Only Rule For Ex's
This thread has also been helpful for me as I have been spinning my wheels the past week like crazy.

I had a girlfriend ask for a break after we had an intense fight. During our arguing, she tells me she's not happy, can't be her self around me, and also after one fight before a year earlier, she said maybe I don't deserve her or maybe she should find someone better than me. Those words really made me lack trust in the relationship, but I wasn't skillful enough to decide to get out but instead I took it to heart and decided that I should improve myself and work on the relationship harder. The reason why is because she had a right to be upset at me. I think she caught me in a lie and probably has some suspicions I was being a bit of player (was true), although she didn't confront me on it directly.

She took a week to go visit family and said she can't talk to me for a while cause she has school also. She's not returning my calls for like a week. But to be fair, I had also not always respond every day to her when I'm working I tell her I need to stay off the grid for a few days sometimes.


I guess I was ok with her taking a break for a week, but her language was really degrading. How can you tell someone maybe you should find someone better, or maybe you deserve someone better?

Then we are back together a month later. And then a couple months, later we have another fight and this one was worse. She's doing things like not returning I love u. Ignoring me when I speak. Going to sleep when we having a discussion without resolving it. And one night, I started drinking and woke her up and told her to get the fuck out of my apartment. I felt absolutely awful, and she was cool about it enough to try and make me feel better, because she said it scared her. I was actually some anxiety meds and mixed with alcohol and kind of blacked out. I remember bits and pieces of it but not everything. She really was cool with me after that. I can't ever imagine how bad I would feel if she hadn't been understanding with me after that. But, I didn't see her only one time past 4 months since then. But when I saw her, it was a very positive meet. That's great for both of us to be able to move on. She even gave me an reason I can use for the break up that makes me sound high value that I can DHV myself with, and it works for her also. And we are on good terms.

Our 4 year anniversary is here that's why I'm so in my head about this. So, what I did yesterday read this thread and some other past 2 days and another one. Then today, I started voice journaling the situation for like 10 minutes, and now I feel crystal clear. Time is up. I want to do it in my head right, but my heart is like no mother fucker, you can't do this. This girl is pure gold. But I have no choice at this point, I lost my frame and so many other issues that I was able to identify while voice journaling, and then replaying the audio, reading some threads such as this one, and thinking about it a lot.

I had another relationship where the girl says we would be lifelong friends. But as soon as she got a new boyfriend, she stopped answering my phone calls.

I've been going out a fair bit. I'm not meeting any girls that seem to measure up to my Ex yet. The relationship has not officially been ended yet. But I'm gonna have to keep looking and push harder and burn the boats because there's no going back now.

But, what I didn't see in the thread was success stories. Surely someone has had a success story to share where they got back with their girlfriend and it worked out. But perhaps not haha. I think the success stories are about the break ups!

Cheers!

(This post was last modified: 09-13-2019 07:33 AM by Freebird Flying.)
09-13-2019 07:22 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | RooshV.com | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication