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Dumbass man tries to hamster his way to Bermuda Triangle
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DJ-Matt Offline
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Dumbass man tries to hamster his way to Bermuda Triangle
My first news post, so enjoy!

U.S. Coast Guard forced to rescue man in Bermuda Triangle inflatable ‘bubble’ stunt


[Image: Was8870321.jpg&w=480]

Quote:To passing boaters, he likely looked like a hamster in a ball, bobbing up and down in a blow-up bubble in the Atlantic Ocean en route to Bermuda — across the Devil’s Sea.

Reza Baluchi was on a mission to trace the Bermuda Triangle — 1,000 miles to Bermuda, 1,000 miles to Puerto Rico and 1,000 miles back to his starting point in Florida — to raise money for needy children through his charity, Plant Unity, he said. But on Saturday, three days and 70 nautical miles into the voyage, the U.S. Coast Guard had to airlift the exhausted athlete from his floating sphere off the coast of St. Augustine, Fla.

The Coast Guard has not said what the rescue cost. But it used an HC-130 airplane, which costs about $20,000 per hour, and an MH-60 helicopter, which is $14,000 per hour.

Baluchi, 42, climbed inside the vessel on Wednesday with few belongings — protein bars, bottled water, a satellite phone as well as his green card and passport. He had planned to “run” from Florida to Bermuda inside this “hydro pod,” an inflatable capsule made of plastic, 3mm thick. He would move at night and sleep in a built-in hammock during the day — as temperatures topped 120 degrees. He would fish when he got hungry.

The U.S. Coast Guard first located him on Thursday after someone called about a reportedly disoriented man in a bubble near the Miami coast asking how to get to Bermuda.

The U.S. Coast Guard audio:

Coast Guard: “Based on this information, do you wish to stop your voyage and embark the Coast Guard vessel?”

Baluchi: “I did two years’ practice for this.”

Coast Guard: “I understand you’ve been practicing two years for this. So you are declining to stop your voyage at this time and embark the Coast Guard cutter?”

Baluchi: “I don’t know what I can do.”

Coast Guard: “You can either stop your voyage and get on the Coast Guard cutter and come back to shore or you can choose to continue on your trip, but the Coast Guard cutter will be leaving … ”

Baluchi: “Okay, I am continuing to go.”
He turned down the rescue — until two days later.

On Saturday, an exhausted Baluchi switched on his personal locating beacon, a tracking device used by vessels in distress, and a Coast Guard search-and-rescue crew responded.

Airplane and helicopter crews along with a vessel were dispatched to Baluchi’s location, 70 miles from St. Augustine in the Atlantic Ocean. Then a rescue swimmer hoisted him from the bubble into the helicopter, and the team transported him to Air Station Clearwater in Florida, where he was evaluated by medical personnel, according to the U.S. Coast Guard.

Baluchi later told the Miami Herald he didn’t mean to turn on the beacon and that he wasn’t disoriented — that people only thought that because he was sleeping during the day.

“I never quit,” he said. “It’s not me.”

Baluchi said the issue now is that his bubble is lost at sea — along with his green card and passport.

“Our concern is not the bubble,” Coast Guard spokesman Petty Officer Mark Barney told the newspaper. “Our main concern was to get him out of the water.

“It was caught up in the same Gulf Stream he was caught in. If it didn’t sink, or unless someone retrieved it, the stream shot it up north. It’s a very powerful current.”

Hamster
Hamster2
Malehamster
Hamster3


He didn't really think out the whole "120 degree heat in a bubble" part.

"The Carousel Stops For No Man" - Tuthmosis
There is no salvation outside the Church
(This post was last modified: 10-06-2014 08:50 PM by DJ-Matt.)
10-06-2014 08:47 PM
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Cattle Rustler Offline
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RE: Dumbass man tries to hamster his way to Bermuda Triangle
He declined the help, he should have been left there where he was.

What if he died? Motherfucker should have thought of that before embarking on the "run". Let him die in the middle of the sea for all that I care.

People nowadays do dumb shit because they know the gubbmint will rescue them.

"May get ugly at times. But we get by. Real Niggas never die." - cdr
(This post was last modified: 10-06-2014 08:54 PM by Cattle Rustler.)
10-06-2014 08:53 PM
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dicknixon72 Offline
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RE: Dumbass man tries to hamster his way to Bermuda Triangle
(10-06-2014 08:53 PM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  People nowadays do dumb shit because they know the gubbmint will rescue them.

Exactly. This guy thinks he's Vasco da Gama or something. He has an intricate safety net of tracking beacons, satellite communications, and the well-funded power of the US Coast Guard - which is more well-equipped with greater reach than the frontline armed forces of most nations - to help him at the flick of a switch. Everyday folk encountered more danger driving from Georgia to New York in 1930...and had less of a safety net.

Retard.
10-06-2014 09:14 PM
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PrimeTime32 Offline
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RE: Dumbass man tries to hamster his way to Bermuda Triangle
Stupid is as stupid does.
10-06-2014 09:42 PM
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Old Fritz Offline
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RE: Dumbass man tries to hamster his way to Bermuda Triangle
That picture looks funny Big Grin
10-06-2014 09:52 PM
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Kabal Away
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RE: Dumbass man tries to hamster his way to Bermuda Triangle
This is a great anecdote for how governmental aid/assistance, whether it be welfare (direct or indirect), or foreign aid, is dysgenic.

This guy had a zero chance of reproducing (more?) if not for the intervention of the Coast Guard.

But thanks to the Coast Guard, this guy now has a positive chance of reproducing (more?), and passing on his genes for stupidity and naivete.

Genus Homo, particularly sapiens, and some populations of sapiens more so than others, became smarter over time because its/their dumber constituents died off, or at least did not fair as well as their brighter counterparts.

Subsidizing stupidity only brings more stupidity and misery in the long run.

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#NoHymenNoDiamond
#DontWantDaughters
(This post was last modified: 10-06-2014 10:12 PM by Kabal.)
10-06-2014 09:55 PM
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