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Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
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Yeti Offline
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Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
I'm looking for guidance both from guys who have anger issues and guys who don't have anger issues, who practice martial arts and specifically Brazilian jiu jitsu.

It seems like guys with anger issues tend to do well with martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu to help them resolve their stress. If they don't keep up with their trainings, the darkness starts to take control again and they get irritable and angry.

My question is, what about guys who don't have any anger issues? I am a pretty laid back guy and am probably going to start training BJJ soon. But I'm concerned that I am not aggressive enough - that I'm going into the wrong arena, that I should pick up weight lifting instead to up my testosterone.

Can anyone provide guidance?
11-16-2014 08:39 PM
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
Heavy weightlifting boosts testosterone.

Fighting does too, but I'm not sure bjj or other martial arts have you practicing "fighting" as much as moves and discipline on hpw to fight

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11-16-2014 08:49 PM
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Neo Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
Start training, it will be one of the best things you've ever done.

I'm not sure where you got the idea that BJJ gyms are filled with aggressive guys with anger issues. Most guys I've met are pretty chill. Being aggressive is great, but it's about using the aggression in a controlled way. You always should be imposing your game and forcing your opponent to make a mistake, but you can do this without being a maniac.

The guys who show up and want to take out their problems on their training partners burn out fast. First nobody wants to roll with them, and second they gas out really quickly.

When you're put into these grappling situations for the first time, your entire body will tense up. It's like all your muscles are contracted at once and you're constantly expanding energy. This goes away with the time.

For the first few months, you're not going to have much of a chance to be aggressive. Unless you've grappled before, it's mainly playing defense since you don't know anything - at some point however you have to learn to constantly attack and be active, you can't just lay their like a dead fish and defend.

You seem to fall into the camp of the new student who will probably say during drilling a technique, 'I don't want to hurt my partner.' I've seen this dozens of times. You need to keep in mind that if you're being too timid you're actually doing your classmates a disservice. In the street or at a tournament is someone going to 'go easy'? No.

There's an art to training in a live way without putting your partner under unnecessary risk. When you start, you want know what that pace is, but it will develop with time.

I wouldn't worry about not being aggressive enough at all, just show up and try a class. It's not for everybody, and the attrition rate is huge, but you might just stick with it for life.

I'm a purple belt and have been training for several years.
(This post was last modified: 11-16-2014 09:39 PM by Neo.)
11-16-2014 09:37 PM
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oldirtybachelor Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
(11-16-2014 08:39 PM)Yeti Wrote:  My question is, what about guys who don't have any anger issues? I am a pretty laid back guy and am probably going to start training BJJ soon. But I'm concerned that I am not aggressive enough - that I'm going into the wrong arena, that I should pick up weight lifting instead to up my testosterone.

Can anyone provide guidance?

Not sure how much time you have on your hands but I would do both. I weight train 5 times a week and train BJJ 3 times a week.

I'm also a pretty laid back guy as well, but the thing is in jiu jitsu it also benefits you immensely if you have a cool demeaner. When you start rolling (sparring) and you're constantly being controlled while under immense pain and pressure at certain points, a lot of hot headed guys exert too much force trying to physically escape when they're in a bad spot where they should really take a moment to think and use their strength intelligently. BJJ takes a high level of athleticism, but it is just as much a thinking man's game and takes a lot of state control.

With that being said I wouldn't worry about not being "not aggressive enough". I feel as though the majority of the people I have trained and competed with are very cool, laid back people. I would go to a some classes and try it out. I guarantee if you're tough enough to last one or two months of BJJ training you'll love it. BJJ culture is very healthy for men.
11-16-2014 09:39 PM
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Yeti Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
These are all great ideas and suggestions.

All my life, except for one major thing that I shouldn't disclose here, I've done mental and intellectual things. Even traveling and banging women around the world isn't so much a physical thing.

I am aware that Brazilian jiu jitsu is quite a mental activity and can help your inner game, but at the same time I am looking forward to pushing my body and feeling challenged physically.

I don't think that I'll realistically be able to do both lifting and training. I'd rather continue with my language learning and career advancement. Plus travel, social outings, friends, family, girls, etc. I'm all about not letting the attempt to be perfect get in the way of being good.

A couple guys in some other threads talked about anger issues and how BJJ helps with that. Brian Rose of London Real also mentioned the creeping back of his inner darkness if he doesn't keep up with meditation and training. So that's where I got the idea for the thread. Good to know that BJJ allows for a certain laid back demeanor.
11-16-2014 10:23 PM
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WanderingSoul Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
Ive trained bjj for 4 years. One piece of advice I can give you is find a bjj school that actually focuses on real bjj, not this sport nonsense. If your gym doesn't have at least some focus on takedowns, and going live from the feet, find a new gym.

This new school sport bjj is nonsense and a pussified version of what Jiu Jitsu really is.
11-17-2014 12:01 AM
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vinman Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
BJJ requires patience and control. If you roll with someone good and you're all charged up they'll let you tire yourself out and pretzel you.

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11-17-2014 12:02 AM
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boinerd Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
The human chess game is BJJ.
11-17-2014 01:41 AM
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Yeti Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
How much is a reasonable price to pay for quality BJJ instruction? Say, two lessons per week. I am in a large American city.
11-17-2014 04:30 PM
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Saweeep Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
Most martial arts gyms tend to have a pretty relaxed vibe.

BJJ tends to attract even more thoughtful, nice kinda people than the others in my experience.
11-17-2014 08:17 PM
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Roadrunner Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
(11-17-2014 04:30 PM)Yeti Wrote:  How much is a reasonable price to pay for quality BJJ instruction? Say, two lessons per week. I am in a large American city.

100-150 a month is a good price
11-17-2014 08:55 PM
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
I used to have terrible anger management. I'd fly off the handle for the smallest things. When I once had a horrible throw in darts, I pulled them out and stabbed my self in the leg. Or someone one would piss me off and I knew I couldn't hit them I'd punch brick walls. Then something totally unrelated lead me into systema, Russian martial arts. It's the stuff KGB agents learn. Fucking changed my world! It's all about breathing and staying loose.
Honestly it was a God send.

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(This post was last modified: 11-20-2014 05:37 AM by Snowplow.)
11-20-2014 05:36 AM
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Dr. Howard Away
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
What is with all of this Bjj dick sucking like its the only martial art in the world. It reminds me of how everyone was taking tae kwondo in the 90s and Judo in the 80s. Bjj is Japanese Jiujitsu with the soul removed. No meditation, no history of why the moves are done, do they even do weapons training? Bjj is a good combat system, but hardly a 'martial art' anymore.

In the same vein, if the OP is a chill, non violent guy I would strongly recommend Aikido. A good Aikido school teaches as much discipline, philosophy, meditation and focus (sword katas and breathing) as it does conditioning and fighting. The actual combat techniques are about making an attacker look foolish by turning weight or momentum against them. I was a very aggressive fighter when I trained in Japanese jiu jitsu and did well against boxers, karate and tae kwondo opponents in mixed tournaments. The aikido guys would turn me inside out when I'd go for a charge, haymaker or takedown. The less aggressive they were, the better they could execute.

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11-25-2014 08:57 PM
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Mage Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
(11-25-2014 08:57 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  What is with all of this Bjj dick sucking like its the only martial art in the world. It reminds me of how everyone was taking tae kwondo in the 90s and Judo in the 80s. Bjj is Japanese Jiujitsu with the soul removed. No meditation, no history of why the moves are done, do they even do weapons training? Bjj is a good combat system, but hardly a 'martial art' anymore.

In the same vein, if the OP is a chill, non violent guy I would strongly recommend Aikido. A good Aikido school teaches as much discipline, philosophy, meditation and focus (sword katas and breathing) as it does conditioning and fighting. The actual combat techniques are about making an attacker look foolish by turning weight or momentum against them. I was a very aggressive fighter when I trained in Japanese jiu jitsu and did well against boxers, karate and tae kwondo opponents in mixed tournaments. The aikido guys would turn me inside out when I'd go for a charge, haymaker or takedown. The less aggressive they were, the better they could execute.

I think most people who prefer BJJ and dislike traditional japanese JJ and things like Aikodo are turned off by meditation, weapons and katas as being unpractical.

Since in modern day you are not likely to walk around with a sword nun-chacks or war scythe weapons learning is unpractical.

Katas are empty theatricality especially if stripped from philosophical meaning.

History is nice - but you are not going to win an opponent due to a better knowledge of history

Meditation and eastern philosophy is something many view as some pseudo scientific hoax. Even if it is not hoax most instructors don't know what they are teaching anyway.

Practical people just want to learn the thing that really helps to survive/dominate on street and history and historical weapons training is not going to achieve that.

Maybe Aikodo is effective, but it requires high skill, you would have to train for years to use it in real life. Simple arts like Boxing or BJJ give results from the first lessons and provide you with something more tangeable and understandable.
11-26-2014 05:33 AM
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Saweeep Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
In my eyes BJJ is a sport anyway, like Kickboxing or Muay Thai or Boxing.

It is not a martial art.
11-26-2014 06:31 AM
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
(11-26-2014 06:31 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  In my eyes BJJ is a sport anyway, like Kickboxing or Muay Thai or Boxing.

It is not a martial art.

"The Art is bigger than the Sport." - Kano, founder of Judo

Many martial arts have sports attached to them, but there is more to them than just the sport.

And it's hard to claim something isn't a fighting art while you're on the ground picking up your teeth from that textbook left hook. A lot of the older boxing texts (like Jack Dempseys book) contain a lot of tactical streetfighting self defense advice. It's the Manly Art of Self Defense as much as the Sweet Science.
11-26-2014 11:24 AM
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Yeti Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
(11-25-2014 08:57 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  What is with all of this Bjj dick sucking like its the only martial art in the world. It reminds me of how everyone was taking tae kwondo in the 90s and Judo in the 80s. Bjj is Japanese Jiujitsu with the soul removed. No meditation, no history of why the moves are done, do they even do weapons training? Bjj is a good combat system, but hardly a 'martial art' anymore.

In the same vein, if the OP is a chill, non violent guy I would strongly recommend Aikido. A good Aikido school teaches as much discipline, philosophy, meditation and focus (sword katas and breathing) as it does conditioning and fighting. The actual combat techniques are about making an attacker look foolish by turning weight or momentum against them. I was a very aggressive fighter when I trained in Japanese jiu jitsu and did well against boxers, karate and tae kwondo opponents in mixed tournaments. The aikido guys would turn me inside out when I'd go for a charge, haymaker or takedown. The less aggressive they were, the better they could execute.

Thanks. One of my primary goals is to gain muscle mass. I know that practicing any martial art will help. I was wondering if BJJ is particularly good for becoming more muscular, as compared to, say, Aikido.
11-26-2014 08:07 PM
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Neo Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
(11-25-2014 08:57 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  What is with all of this Bjj dick sucking like its the only martial art in the world.

Not to venture down towards a TMA vs MMA debate on the forum but it's been shown again and again for years now that a lot of the traditional martial arts on their own simply don't work in real situations. Against a guy with a weapon I don't care what I know, but I'm either running away from a knife or giving the guy my wallet if he's sticking me up at gun point.

The meditation, history, and philosophy is fine for it's own sake, but it's not really going to help you in a fight.

BJJ/wrestling/grappling isn't the end all be all of martial arts, but combine it with boxing/Muay Thai and it's pretty effective in many situations.
11-26-2014 10:00 PM
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
(11-20-2014 05:36 AM)Snowplow Wrote:  Then something totally unrelated lead me into systema, Russian martial arts. It's the stuff KGB agents learn. Fucking changed my world! It's all about breathing and staying loose.
Honestly it was a God send.

I tried a free free Systema classes and it seemed like it wouldn't really translate into street fighting and self defense without many hours of practice. Am I wrong?
11-26-2014 10:38 PM
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WanderingSoul Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
(11-25-2014 08:57 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  In the same vein, if the OP is a chill, non violent guy I would strongly recommend Aikido. A good Aikido school teaches as much discipline, philosophy, meditation and focus (sword katas and breathing) as it does conditioning and fighting. The actual combat techniques are about making an attacker look foolish by turning weight or momentum against them. I was a very aggressive fighter when I trained in Japanese jiu jitsu and did well against boxers, karate and tae kwondo opponents in mixed tournaments. The aikido guys would turn me inside out when I'd go for a charge, haymaker or takedown. The less aggressive they were, the better they could execute.

Can you show us a few videos of Aikdio being used in real life that isn't staged, fake or choreographed?

I have never seen a single one.

Quite a few guys on here are mentioning Aikdio, and I'd like to see why. I'm not trying to get into a pissing match, but I see it as being a bogus TMA.

If there is something I'm missing I'd like to see it. Not to laugh and say you're wrong, but I legitimately want to know what it is about Aikdio that I don't get, but I can not find any videos of it that are not staged.

Can anyone post a few?
11-27-2014 05:29 AM
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Kvothe Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
Without making a new thread, is it possible to train martial arts being very shortsighted or nearsighted?
11-27-2014 06:03 AM
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WanderingSoul Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
(11-27-2014 06:03 AM)Kvothe Wrote:  Without making a new thread, is it possible to train martial arts being very shortsighted or nearsighted?

You can train them blind. It'll be a handicap, but all sorts of people train martial arts who are worse off than just bad vision.
11-27-2014 06:12 AM
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Dr. Howard Away
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
running down a list of replies:

@Yeti - Aikido wouldn't be good for muscle mass/conditioning. Boxing, BJJ or MMA/sport training would be better as they have a better conditioning and practical training emphasis.

@Neo - I agree, a traditional martial art is not the best pure choice for self defence. I don't think sport training is either as it conditions you to limit your strikes to the rules of competition and often doesn't include weapons.

@Rio - I don't have any Aikido video but my brother moved into it after our Japanese JJ school closed. He doesn't use it in sparring, he'll use JJ and Silat. He uses the Aikido more like 'party tricks' as the throws really over the top. He said its more like "fast tai chi" and likes it more for the meditation, philosophy and weapons training. That may be what you are missing Rio, its a TMA with a big capital T and small MA.

It will work fine against someone who is not trained but I don't think Aikido is a good choice for competitive martial arts or other trained fighters. It is a good approach to fighting for people that aren't aggressive though and tend to 'live in their heads'...hence the recommendation to the OP

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11-27-2014 06:27 AM
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KC4 Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
@kvothe i can't see for shit and i had no problem with grappling only time i would struggle is when our coach would show us a new technique and i would have to been 1 inch away to be able to see shit.
11-28-2014 03:54 PM
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Kvothe Offline
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RE: Martial arts/Brazilian jiu jitsu for guys with no anger issues?
(11-28-2014 03:54 PM)KC4 Wrote:  @kvothe i can't see for shit and i had no problem with grappling only time i would struggle is when our coach would show us a new technique and i would have to been 1 inch away to be able to see shit.

Nobody is mocking you about that in your group?
11-29-2014 09:15 AM
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