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Bumble! tinder but the girls message first
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mr-ed209 Offline
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Post: #526
RE: Bumble! tinder but the girls message first
I got my first lay out of bumble a week or so ago. First bumble date to be exact.

The whole thing of women having to message first just screws up a lot of the dynamic and it's frustrating to match with a girl who you've read a good opener you can use and never having the opportunity. Openers for online dating in my opinion are key; as i never send more than 10 messages before asking a date. Girls seem to respond best to those quick exchanges that give the feeling of 'we just clicked'. When a chick flatly opens the conversation with 'Hi' it seems like you're screwed to fizzle town from the outset. I've also matched with a lot of girls multiple times, who must be resetting accounts and such like. Still they make no real effort to initiate etc.

Still a bigger believer in Tinder, just because it gives the guy some control of the interaction from the get go. The Bumble girl last week was someone i used to go to school with, so that one was pretty easy going to get enough of a convo going. But other than that, i really struggle once the chicks are left to their own devices.
01-11-2019 06:52 PM
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RespectivePerspective Offline
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Posts: 46
Joined: Dec 2014
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Post: #527
RE: Bumble! tinder but the girls message first
I have to agree wholeheartedly with abandoning all conversations that are not immediately engaging. I can accept some hours, or even a day or two passing before you’re able to have a decent and short exchange where you’re answering each other promptly, but you’d be unwise to relinquish momentum and not striking while the iron’s hot. As soon as you have her full attention, that’s your best, and probably last chance to get anywhere. I’m personally guilty of sometimes getting distracted and neglecting conversations with a still-open window of opportunity, and it almost always derails your momentum enough to render all previous hamster tinglings as null. This behaviour seems like the norm with much of the women I’ve come across as well, and it can become a nasty habit that may very well be socially contagious as we become desensitised to it.

Now, if we’re having a quick exchange where we’re answering each other within minutes insteads of hours, and they suddenly fail to respond to a direct question or do anything that makes the conversation flow feel unnatural, I immediately unmatch them. Especially if you’re talking to those 5’s and 6’s that you only bother with because you’re bored, lonely, or wanting the practice. They need the “no exceptions” kind of insta-punishment the most, for not only your own pride and ego, but so the lesser attractive/value guy whose on her same level doesn’t have to one day wonder why this cunt whose at or below his level feels an undeserved sense of entitlement due to having her way with thirsty guys that are dating downward. They don’t even realise the man is ever dating downward like how a man is full aware that the girl is out of his league; she’s only going to think she’s better than she actually is, every single time. Female psychopathy, perhaps, I don’t know.

No need to thank me, but if she has good conversation etiquette, there’s a chance she learned the hard way from others like myself that she can’t even appear to be stringing people along without consequence. The more of a prick I become about this, the more in control I am and things will be that much more likely to go your own way.
(This post was last modified: 01-14-2019 03:50 AM by RespectivePerspective.)
01-14-2019 03:44 AM
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Isaac Jordan Offline
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Posts: 768
Joined: Oct 2012
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Post: #528
RE: Bumble! tinder but the girls message first
Quick review of Bumble's paid "Boost" feature:

I spent a few weeks in December/early January out of state visiting family and returned home to my college town several weeks before classes began, so my normal day game opportunities have been few and far between. I figured I'd give the swiping apps another shot, and I've done decently with Bumble before so that's where I started.

After swiping through the handful of girls in my age/location range (and getting nothing), I noticed the match screen had a single green circle with the number 15 in it. Clicking on that opened a pop up telling me that 15 girls had already swiped right, but I'd need to pay at least $8.99 for their Boost feature (this was for one week, it gets cheaper per week if you buy month(s) at a time).

I have a friend who works at Bumble so I asked him what exactly Boost was. He told me it was a time-saving upgrade that shows you girls that have swiped right on you (even if you haven't swiped on them), so instead of manually going through hundreds of girls you could simply open the app once in a while and see potential matches that already like you, then choose to accept them as matches.

(Of course you may still want to swipe regardless, because if a girl has paid for Boost and is doing the same thing - waiting to see who swipes on her before deciding to accept or decline - then neither of you will end up swiping on each other so won't be notified. But I doubt many women are paying for this feature.)

He added that most of these potential matches will come from women outside my location range, so that for example if I've set mine for five miles but some woman ten miles away has her range set to ten, then I'd show up in her pile even though she wouldn't show up in mine. So then it's possible she could swipe right on me even though I'd never see her to begin with, and that's where Boost comes in. Boost will still only include women within your preferred age range; location is the only parameter it opens up.

It seemed to me that if I had already gone through all the women within my maximum range, swiping on only attractive ones, then any of these potential Boost matches would either be 1) further away than desirable or 2) girls within my range that swiped right on me but weren't attractive enough for me to reciprocate.

Regardless, my town was pretty dead and I was curious, so I paid the nine bucks and began checking out my matches.

My previous expectations were confirmed. 14 out of the 15 were fatties/uggos that I never would have swiped right on to begin with, and even worse they were all from the state I had just left (they must have swiped on me while I was back home not using Bumble) so I didn't even bother hitting up the one attractive girl.

I immediately canceled the subscription (it'll bill you weekly if you don't), but it stayed active for the rest of the week and I continued to get a match or two every day, all from 3s and 4s that I had swiped left on.

I could see this feature being useful if you've just arrived in a huge city with lots of potential matches and don't want to manually swipe through hundreds of women, or if you're top 10% looks/height/etc., as being able to simply pick from all the girls that have already liked you would save you a decent amount of time.

But for the average guy, it's a complete waste of money. For me, it was a nine dollar reminder to get outside and approach girls in real life, so hopefully it will end up being money well spent.
01-16-2019 01:26 PM
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