Post: #1

The hamster is strong with this one.

Apparently a lot of girls, already struggling under the terrible burden of spending most of their time eating or attention whoring on social media, have decided that showering is just too much like hard work.

And, like everything else girls do, this is just totes amazeballs, you guys!.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-...right.html

Quote:Women reserve the right to be smelly, sweaty and not change their knickers

Four in five women have said they don't shower daily. So what, says Daisy Buchanan whose realised she's spent more on perfume than council tax

Are you a woman, and did you have a shower this morning? Congratulations! According to a new survey, four out of five women won’t have bothered.

Quote:Skincare range Flint + Flint asked over 2,000 women to tell all about their hygiene routines, and they were deeply disappointed by the answers. "I understand the appeal of a lie-in but skipping a morning wash is both anti-social for the people around us and unhealthy,” wailed owner Maxine Flint, horrified by the news that a ‘shocking’ one in three of us will go as long as three days without ‘wiping the face or body at all’.

Irrespective of your gender, I believe that if you’re leaving the house, using public transport or being in a confined space with other people, it is polite and preferable to start your day with a shower, and the application of deodorant. However, hearing this news makes me bloody proud of my fellow women.

Quote:We are constantly bombarded with pressures to challenge everything our body naturally does.

We are told that we will only be listened to if we are clean, smooth, fragrant, de-frizzed and have managed to fight the first five signs of ageing. If you have resisted these pernicious influences to the point where you can’t even be bothered to spend three minutes under a shower head with a bottle of Radox, hi-freaking-fives to you.

Forget what Don Draper said about advertising being “a billboard on the side of a road that screams with reassurance that whatever you're doing is OK.” Cosmetic companies need to keep us insecure. It’s how they make their money. So it’s no wonder that Flint + Flint sound so despairing over the results of the survey they commissioned. “80 per cent of you are dirty - and you’re OK with that?!” The industry’s iron grip on cleanliness and our consciences is slipping, and our new laissez fair approach to hygiene is bringing the corporations out on a cold sweat.

I believe it’s sweat that is at the heart, or armpit of the matter. Last month, when the #ThisGirlCan video exploded onto our Twitter timelines, there was a single, choral, joyful reaction among my favourite female friends. “These chicks are DRIPPING! Their vests are sticking to them! This is what I look like when I work out!”

Quote:When it comes to sweat and smells, there is a gender divide. I want to know why Flint + Flint didn’t even bother to ask the boys about their bathroom routine. Let’s be clear - assuming men are naturally a bit stinkier than women - or at least, more comfortable with being stinky - is damaging for everyone. But men aren’t stigmatised for taking part in odour generating activities, or socialised to be embarrassed about basic bodily functions in quite the same way. The writer Sophie Heawood wrote brilliantly about dreading the moment when her infant daughter stopped bragging about her big bowel movements: “When somebody makes it clear to her, whether by accident or design… that curly little blondes such as she should desire to be small, and contained, and clean, and dress up as pink princesses. And shut up about their dirty selves; already, enough.”

As we grow up, we learn to be freaked out by every new trick our body plays on us. We’re surprised, but never delighted - we’re told to be disgusted. From sweating to growing hair, from ageing to having a little bit of fat on our bottoms to keep the cold out

Quote:these are all seen as the antithesis of what is sexy and attractive. Any ad break will tell you that as a woman, being attractive is much more important than being quick or clever or funny or having cool skills. Remember Veet’s anti leg hair campaign, where we were told ‘Don’t risk dudeness’? In adland, our ability to fight nature is what defines us as women.

We women have a lot asked of us.

Like... have a wash?

Quote:Many of us are working full time, worrying about childcare, attempting to lead some kind of social life, defending ourselves from people who are angry that we put our opinions on the internet, studying, trying to meet a partner, or just looking for a jumper that doesn’t have a bit of old yoghurt down the front. Something has to fall off the Buckaroo donkey of obligation. So what if that something is regular washing? Whenever we tell women ‘make time for yourself!’ it’s a coded message for ‘go to a spa and give your hard earned money to a professional, who will make you smell nice’.

If I manage to shower and show up in a place of work for five days of the week, I reserve the right to spend the weekend ‘treating myself’ by skulking under a duvet, avoiding running water and shovelling Kettle Chips into my unwashed mouth. I might not even change my knickers. Admittedly I love long baths, and beauty products, and smelling nice. I recently worked out that I spend more on perfume than I do on council tax. But I’d be happy to forgo all of that as a dirty protest against the idea that I have an obligation as a woman to shower, shave and moisturise.

Sweat might be having a fashion moment, but women didn’t start perspiring in 2015. We’ve always had the potential to get seriously stinky, and it looks like we’re starting to make peace with our unwashed bodies - causing our cosmetic overlords to panic. Let’s make a deal. I promise I will shower on any day where there is a possibility that you might have to sit next to me on a bus, and I hope you do the same. But I will always go out of my way to shame any organisation that stands to make money from making us women feel ashamed of the way we naturally smell.

Here's the female typist and Pepe Le Pew fan herself:


WOULD NOT BANG - DON'T OWN A GAS MASK

Post: #2

Next up: it's patriarchy to have tampons and panty liners, we should feel free to let our red trails show!

Post: #3

Hey Steve, would these qualify as a soapdodger?

Post: #4

This whole story

Post: #5

I agree. Some of the hottest girls I've slept with were pretty skanky. You need to find a bitch that's OCD about cleanliness.

Young girls are no better. I don't think they learn how to properly wash their vag until they are at least 24.

Post: #6

Post: #7

Oh lawd.

I recently nuked a girl because her lack of daily showering habits became a topic of conversation (she steered the conversation that way, which was a real turn off). I just flat out asked her if she had showered that day we were supposed to meet up.

When she said no, I just hard nexted her.

Post: #8

The women that will argue that it's not natural to bathe everyday are the same ones that smoke, drink, do drugs, are on the pill and have had abortions in the past.

Post: #9

(02-24-2015 08:59 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:  Hey Steve, would these qualify as a soapdodger?

Damn.

That would be a much better thread title.

SOAPDODGING SKANKS SHUN SHOWERS

Post: #10

Yowza. Bitches are getting crazier by the day. I never thought that was possible.

Post: #11

Play this record for them

Redd Foxx- You Gotta Wash Your Ass -Side 1- (Vinyl LP .1975)

Post: #12

How could I have forgotten this:

Post: #13

Jessica Simpson is notorious for poor hygiene (the same who saved her virginity for marriage supposedly)

http://www.therichest.com/expensive-life...lebrities/

Quote: Jessica Simpson has been very vocal about her hygiene habits. She’s admitted on The Ellen DeGeneres Show to not brushing her teeth very often because she doesn’t like the slippery feeling that they have after brushing. The pop star confessed she only scrubs her pearly whites three times a week. Instead, she uses Listerine and rubs them clean with her shirt – 0 out of 5 dentists recommend this hygiene habit. Reportedly, a housekeeper informed Star magazine that Simpson is also very messy and will leave her clothes and hair extensions all around the house.

I also remember when she was on another talk show and spoke about her affinity for farting. WB, but with a clothesline pin on my nose.

Post: #14

Yuck; I'm a guy and I even have better hygiene than the women listed in this article.

Post: #15

Typist looks like a fatty, I'm not shocked. Probably needs a rag on a stick to wash herself.

Post: #16

delete

Post: #17

And the idea that women are cleaner than men takes another direct hit. Seriously, when I was a teenager I worked at a fast food place, and did a lot of cleaning. I am not joking when I say that the women's bathroom was dirtier than the men's about 98% of the time.

Post: #18

Hygiene is a deal breaker for me. I recently had two girls in my rotation but had to fire one because I caught a whiff of fish from her vag. The other showers every time before (and after) sex, and her vag always smells like a fresh mango, so she stays.

Post: #19

This chic is British, right? I found an old school letter written from my great uncle (a US WW2 pilot stationed in England) to my grandfather (fighting in France), circa 1944 or so. I found the letter fascinating on a lot of levels, including the cut out portions from war censors and my uncle asking my grandfather for money because he lost his playing poker, etc. Just typical brother talk 70 years ago. But the best part was my uncle bitching about the local talent, specifically complaining that english birds are disgusting and dont bathe. I read the letter as a teenage and was like "come on, he must be exaggerating". Guess not.

Post: #20

Women are supposed to be filthy and stinky. That's how we as hunter/gatherers are supposed to find them frolicking in the woods.
The nose knows.

You have to be turned on enough to fuck them but turned off enough to not LTR them. Pump and dump. It's nature.

Post: #21

(02-24-2015 01:06 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  Women are supposed to be filthy and stinky. That's how we as hunter/gatherers are supposed to find them frolicking in the woods.
The nose knows.

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish market?

"Good morning, ladies!"

Post: #22

(02-24-2015 11:00 AM)Mr. Wolf Wrote:  And they blame men for focusing on Asian women. Seriously, are the land-cows trying to alienate every single man out there. If a woman cannot manage even to keep herself clean, I know she will never keep a clean house, and that I probably cannot trust her to be hygienic in the kitchen. NEXT.

Not all Asian women are clean down there...I've come across some pretty gross FOB mainland Chinese women before. However, a Japanese-American woman I used to bang kept baby wipes with her at all times.

Speaking of baby wipes, Terrence Howard got shit from Jezebel (fuck them, I won’t provide the link so that they get traffic) for bringing up cleanliness in an interview with Elle magazine a couple of years ago:

Quote:ELLE: What one item could you find in a woman's house that would prove that you weren't compatible?

TH: Toilet paper—and no baby wipes—in her bathroom.

ELLE: Wait. I don't think I understand.

TH: If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go inside a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean.

Post: #23

(02-24-2015 11:40 AM)SirTimothy Wrote:  And the idea that women are cleaner than men takes another direct hit. Seriously, when I was a teenager I worked at a fast food place, and did a lot of cleaning. I am not joking when I say that the women's bathroom was dirtier than the men's about 98% of the time.

I'm a veteran in the custodial field. In my experience, i've found that the ladies bathrooms are filthier at least 85% of the time.

Post: #24

Sometime last year I predicted women now so loathed making any kind of effort that they'd eventually stop wiping their arses. Sounds like they're almost there.

It's interesting that offering women Feminist Empowerment just seems to lead to signs of insanity and depression in women.

Post: #25

So essentially, women are bad at life and everyone should just be ok with that? That's my summary of her typing.



Hey man, life is hard. Not time for frivolities such as soap!