kerouac
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RE: Tribal Meeting (Official RVF meetups)
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05-20-2015 12:05 AM |
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Irish
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RE: Tribal Meeting (Official RVF meetups)
I am still slightly apprehensive meeting up with people on forums, newbies or otherwise. I am a lot more open now but a couple of bad experiences in the past had made me much more reluctant.
I was one of the main guys on my old regional UK forum back in the day and had a very good rep. I met up with a fair number of guys from that forum, some of the the newbies even seemed to treat me almost like some kind of quasi-celebrity. However, despite the majority of guys being cool, there were a few weirdos I met who then proceeded to more or less stalk me around the bars & clubs. Given it was a small city there weren't too many options for good venues at the weekend and they knew my regular haunts from my forum field reports. Thus I would see them regularly showing up and watching my every move. What was even more embarrassing was that I would usually be there with my regular (non-pick up/manosphere) friends and they would weird them out also. Walking up, introducing themselves and straight-off-the-bat asking "What's your name on the forum then?" and dropping lots of PUA lingo. It created many an awkward situation and on a couple of occasions my hand was forced to come clean about my whole red pill existence to a couple of my buddies.
So since then I have thus been really careful about meeting up with guys from the forums, and I tend to try to do a decent bit of due diligence exchanging messages a couple of times first and getting some backround. I have met around 15 RVFers now I reckon and luckily this forum generally attracts members of a higher calibre. Being able to see the comments left on the rep/rating counter (as well as the rep score itself) goes a long way to reassure you. Being one of the RVF 'travellers' around SE Asia (and soon EE for a few weeks) I plan on meeting up with many more dudes in future.
I have actually been considering starting a thread on 'forum meetup etiquette' here just as a do/don't list which I have learned from experience to facilitate successful meetups. Generally it's better to meet as a group of 3 or more if possible as takes the pressure off and feels less like a man-date. But if it is a one on one meet then the main #1 thing for me for when you are meeting another dude for the first time is to focus on getting to know eachother first and forget about the whole picking up chicks part until later in the evening. It helps by meeting early in the night at some quiet bar/neutral venue (where there won't be many targets) and shoot the shit. Some guys think they need to 'prove' their abilities with girls to you but it's much more important to just be a cool chilled out guy than some sort of PUA legend. Most guys can't talk about red pill stuff to anyone else so normally this is a great outlet for likeminded guys to come together and get shit off their chest. And if you want to go chase skirt later on then you can at least be more effective wingmen cause now you know eachother better.
Nothing irritates me more than those guys who on the first meet will keep jumping up mid-way through your conversation to go hit on some some chick at another table. Especially when the chick really isn't anything special and you can see they're really just trying to show off their 'cold approaching skills'. Just sit down, chill the fuck out and get to know eachother. There's plenty of time later on in the evening for you to go play Jonny Approach Monkey.
I also second the suggestion by Basil Ransom of an optional 'display what city you are in' under your avatar. This would work especially well for the traveller guys like myself who can have their base country/nationality but also a 'currently in' option for anyone in the same city wanting to meet up.
Irish
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(This post was last modified: 05-20-2015 08:15 AM by Irish.)
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05-20-2015 07:49 AM |
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Aliblahba
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RE: Tribal Meeting (Official RVF meetups)
(05-21-2015 07:28 PM)Cobra Wrote: I'm a Finance guy. I don't trust numbers on a piece of paper that look good. So why would I feel differently about life? I look for more meat behind them.
This is what confuses me. When science is discussed on the forum, members expect claims to be linked to the study, scholarly article, ect, and spend hours researching just one of these topics. We are intelligent men and like to dig on the subject until the material is exhausted.
But when game is discussed, no one seems to be interested in the source. If game is a science, why not? Because of this, it feels like we're talking about it as if it's a religion, where we just go off faith. Who are we putting our faith behind?
Shouldn't we analyze the source of anything, for the betterment of ourselves and the community? Science is about eliminating variables. This is why many of us now meetup, to reduce the variables so others can better understand our science (or religion).
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05-21-2015 08:18 PM |
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Onto
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RE: Tribal Meeting (Official RVF meetups)
I really agree with what Irish said. For me, when I initially meetup with forum members, I just want to hang out with like-minded guys. Women are the furthest thing from my mind. Doesn't matter if it's in a group or one-on-one. Truthfully I'm just too old for the picking up chicks in a club/bar scene. My days of that are over.
The term male-bonding exists for a reason. While we need companionship with women, we also need friendship with other like-minded men and not just for the purposes of winging for each other. Rather for the sharing of thoughts, questions, and ideas.
I may host a tribal event of sorts. Thinking about a Poker event at my place that starts late afternoon on a Saturday and goes for about 4-5 hours and then we can go out and game together afterwards. This way we can all hang and have fun as men and get to know each other for a good amount of time before going out.
I've been in a poker tribe with the same 7 guys for the past 15 years. They are all in their 60s now (I'm 44), and were doing it for 15 years before I joined. I really look forward to our monthly games and not so much for the gambling but for the bonding. Though winning a nice hand is fun too.
PM me if you're interested in this. Late June would be the earliest this would start. I live in NYC.
Irish's idea of a thread about meetup etiquette is great. I hope he starts one. My pet-peeve is don't mention the forum, Roosh, or my handle in front of women and other non-members, especially a girlfriend and especially if I'm in a foreign country at the time.
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05-21-2015 08:28 PM |
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Basil Ransom
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RE: Tribal Meeting (Official RVF meetups)
"I don't think they are frauds either but if they haven't met anyone and/or have not dropped a data sheet or approach details, then their game posts are fairly useless and not very credible."
Let's take Tuthmosis. As far as I know, no one has met him - yet hundred or thousands of men have found value in his contributions. I have as well. When you've fucked enough girls and racked up enough experience, you have a pretty good sense of what's solid game advice and what isn't. You should obviously try it out for yourself, but it's advice that is credible on its face to an experienced practitioner. And it's not anything dangerous or pricey, so there's no harm in trying it out. When I see him suggest something, I always think, "damn, that sounds like a good approach" or "yup, that's how I do it," etc. Tuthmosis would not get the reception he does if his advice didn't carry value.
He could be the biggest keyboard jockey, ever, and it would be even more impressive, given the utility of his writings. Robert Greene, of the Art of Seduction actually seems to be such a grandmaster keyboard jockey - but his work stands on its own (although admittedly is not all that practicable).
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05-21-2015 10:19 PM |
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samsamsam
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RE: Tribal Meeting (Official RVF meetups)
If a person's advice works and you benefit from it, why does it matter if you ever meet a person?
Remember, people are all different, some are introverts and just prefer to be doing their thing. Others are extroverts and just need to be around people.
Cobra mentioned something about turning big posters into tangible credibility. What if that isn't what they want?
Maybe they are like Charles Barkley and they don't want to be a role model. Maybe you (the general you) wants all the glory but some people don't. Not everyone has something to hide.
Fate whispers to the warrior, "You cannot withstand the storm." And the warrior whispers back, "I am the storm."
Women and children can be careless, but not men - Don Corleone
Great RVF Comments | Where Evil Resides | How to upload, etc. | New Members Read This 1 | New Members Read This 2
(This post was last modified: 05-21-2015 10:40 PM by samsamsam.)
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05-21-2015 10:27 PM |
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Parlay44
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RE: Tribal Meeting (Official RVF meetups)
Team Nachos
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05-21-2015 10:34 PM |
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Aliblahba
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RE: Tribal Meeting (Official RVF meetups)
(05-21-2015 10:19 PM)Basil Ransom Wrote: And it's not anything dangerous or pricey, so there's no harm in trying it out.
But it can get dangerous or pricey. What if I guy only has 4 days to hit Colombia, and spend half the first night in some random town with broken Spanish looking for a rooftop bar that never existed? If the senior member wasn't actually there, how did he know it was safe to walk around at night in that particular neighborhood? And of course precious time lost to get laid.
All I'm saying is as men who are on a different level, we should hold ourselves to a higher standard and keep the community tight. And the absolute way to accomplish this is through meetups. And it is happening and is only getting better. Trip reports are turning into adventure threads, and members are going out of their way to welcome others on the board in real time. Look at Colombia, the Phils, and the DR. It wasn't like this 5 years ago. Now many variables are gone, experiences have gotten better, but I believe we can do more. We owe it to each other.
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05-21-2015 11:48 PM |
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H1N1
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RE: Tribal Meeting (Official RVF meetups)
(05-21-2015 08:28 PM)Onto Wrote: I really agree with what Irish said. For me, when I initially meetup with forum members, I just want to hang out with like-minded guys. Women are the furthest thing from my mind. Doesn't matter if it's in a group or one-on-one. Truthfully I'm just too old for the picking up chicks in a club/bar scene. My days of that are over.
The term male-bonding exists for a reason. While we need companionship with women, we also need friendship with other like-minded men and not just for the purposes of winging for each other. Rather for the sharing of thoughts, questions, and ideas.
I may host a tribal event of sorts. Thinking about a Poker event at my place that starts late afternoon on a Saturday and goes for about 4-5 hours and then we can go out and game together afterwards. This way we can all hang and have fun as men and get to know each other for a good amount of time before going out.
I've been in a poker tribe with the same 7 guys for the past 15 years. They are all in their 60s now (I'm 44), and were doing it for 15 years before I joined. I really look forward to our monthly games and not so much for the gambling but for the bonding. Though winning a nice hand is fun too.
PM me if you're interested in this. Late June would be the earliest this would start. I live in NYC.
Irish's idea of a thread about meetup etiquette is great. I hope he starts one. My pet-peeve is don't mention the forum, Roosh, or my handle in front of women and other non-members, especially a girlfriend and especially if I'm in a foreign country at the time.
This is exactly where I stand as well. It's rare enough that I get to meet and spend time with men who have their shit together and whom I feel a bond with. I don't really see why I'd want to go out and spend an evening with them chasing girls.
Personally I prefer to save chasing girls as something I do with my friendly acquaintances, whose company I made need a distraction from. Time spent with real friends, worthy of deep respect and admiration, has too much value to me to spend it somewhere going up to random, probably boring, girls and doing a little dance to try to get laid. That's not to say there's no place for it, it's just that it wouldn't be my first priority, and any blokes I met up with who were itching to get out of my company just to go and talk to strangers, probably wouldn't form much of a bond with me.
(This post was last modified: 05-22-2015 04:46 AM by H1N1.)
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05-22-2015 04:44 AM |
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Basil Ransom
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RE: Tribal Meeting (Official RVF meetups)
(05-22-2015 10:15 PM)kerouac Wrote: (05-22-2015 09:44 PM)Basil Ransom Wrote: (05-22-2015 02:02 PM)kerouac Wrote: One way to go about this, aside from the poker route, is to find a centrally-located bar in every city that is ideally run by an owner/operator that is friendly to our ideas. The owner thing isn't necessary, but might be a nice addition.
I'm imagining a bar (or bars, especially in a spread out city like LA) where members can come for random happy hour meetups (5-7PM). A place where they can expect to occasionally find members, or not. Maybe wear something that points you out as being a member (colored handkerchief ?) and the way you can find out if it's a member or not is by asking "Excuse me, sir, but could you direct me to the nearest pet shop?"
Have you met anyone off the forum?
Haha. I've actually met Roosh and a couple others.
None of your reps are from people who have met you, you're in an area with plenty of forum members, you've been here for years, yet you're doing a song and dance here about meeting up. That doesn't add up.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2015 09:14 AM by Basil Ransom.)
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05-23-2015 09:12 AM |
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