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Friends all settling down
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TheBadGuy Offline
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Post: #1
Friends all settling down
Hey guys, I am a guy in my late 20s and am finding I have fewer and fewer people to game with. Most of the guys who used to be all in with me are turning into soft served DQ kids cones and settling down, while I feel like I'm still starvin like marvin for new women. I have no trouble scrimping solo, but was curious what the rest of you in my situation or previously in my situation have done. Do you guys tend to try to keep going out with your old friends and just break off to hit on girls every so often, start looking for new friends with the same mindset, or just say fuck it and go solo the majority of the time? These are guys I have known for a long time and been really close with, but just cannot fathom sitting around with dudes drinking or going to bars and immediately looking for a table to sit down at. Thanks guys!
07-04-2015 07:22 PM
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speakeasy Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Friends all settling down
I'm older than you. My friendships have all gotten quite a shakeup in recent years. Definitely maintain your close long-time friends. You'll never make the kind of friends again that you came up with. Even if they are now homebodies and spent their time with kids now, there's a certain level of trust and history with those people you can't easily replace. Just meet up with those guys once a month or so to grab a bite and catch up. That's all you can hope because they are now in a different place in life. I wouldn't even bother trying to get them to go out and live your lifestyle. Just let them do their thing and you do yours and maintain a friendship in other ways.

If you are looking for wingmen, then just find activity partners like you'd find for any other thing such as kayaking or golfing. They'll likely never become as good of friends as the ones you've always had. Mainly because when you meet people through some kind of niche, that niche often becomes what defines that friendship and makes it hard to grow beyond that. Like when I was in martial arts, I'd meet up with people I met there, but everyone would sit around talking about UFC and fighting most the time. Or if you meet game dudes, a lot of times your whole conversation is going to be consumed with talking about game and sex and might not move far beyond that. That's why it's important to keep those old friends that you can talk to everything about.

Keep in mind though that wingmen are unnecessary. A lot of dudes on the forum travel the world solo and go out solo. It's no big deal. I remember the first night I decided to roll out solo in L.A. I got weird about it thinking I'd be viewed as a loner being in a bar by myself. But not one girl asked where were my friends to my surprise.
07-04-2015 07:48 PM
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jake1720 Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Friends all settling down
I go out solo. Literally go out and make friends. As long as your cool no one cares.

"I just moved here"
"My friends don't go out"
"My friends didn't want to come out tonight"
"I just came out solo"

If the guys are cool they will introduce you to their friends. Generally small talk for 5-10 minutes, then if they like you they will introduce you to their friends. If it doesn't vibe, you can feel it.

For girls "I just came out tonight alone"
I usually get "Wow that takes balls"

You get the idea.

If you're cool no one cares. If you're a schmuck no one will like you.
07-04-2015 10:24 PM
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Disco_Volante Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Friends all settling down
I'm 28 I hang out with my 18 yr old cousin and he introduces me to a lot of girls 17 - 19. I made out with a 16 yr old girl at a house party a few months ago, I was the oldest person there obviously.

I can't stand hanging around most people my age....definitely not the women. 18 yr old girls are so tight, firm, cute, etc....I can't see myself dating any woman over 24. I'd rather get rejected by a hot 19 yr old than date a 27 yr old.

Long term I might settle down with a foreign woman, but I consider American women fuckdolls, and don't really care to even know any woman over 24.
(This post was last modified: 07-05-2015 12:49 AM by Disco_Volante.)
07-05-2015 12:49 AM
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Simeon_Strangelight Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Friends all settling down
Just as Speakeasy said - you don't need wingmen - not even for club game. Actually the biggest Night-Game Players are usually going alone, since it's easier to come into clubs.

You won't be doing all the same things with all your friends equally. With some there won't be any pussy hunting going on for a while, but that's fine. Also 60% of your friends will divorce and you may go out with them in some 5-15 years.

As long as you click as friends and have fun with each other, then don't be discourage just by them marrying.
07-05-2015 07:42 AM
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Dr. Howard Online
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Post: #6
RE: Friends all settling down
(07-04-2015 10:24 PM)jake1720 Wrote:  I go out solo. Literally go out and make friends. As long as your cool no one cares.

"I just moved here"
"My friends don't go out"
"My friends didn't want to come out tonight"
"I just came out solo"

If the guys are cool they will introduce you to their friends. Generally small talk for 5-10 minutes, then if they like you they will introduce you to their friends. If it doesn't vibe, you can feel it.

For girls "I just came out tonight alone"
I usually get "Wow that takes balls"

You get the idea.

If you're cool no one cares. If you're a schmuck no one will like you.

I've used "my friends? I didn't think I needed someone to hold my hand to walk to the bar and have a drink so I came by myself." From there ramble on about girls needing to go the bathroom in pairs whereas a dude will piss in an alley, differences between men and women etc.

Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
07-05-2015 08:51 AM
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TheBadGuy Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Friends all settling down
Thanks for the replies guys. Very helpful and insightful. I will keep rolling solo and if I happen to meet someone who is like minded, so be it. Solo has always been just fine with me. Speakeasy, you are on point about the long term friends thing. Thanks again guys!
07-05-2015 02:55 PM
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pialox Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Friends all settling down
Keep your friends go out with them and game chicks while you are hanging with them...... Most of my friends are married or either in LTR's but if you have a big enough group of friends and they know you are actively gaming chicks there is no reason you can't hang with the boys and scan for girls then excuse yourself to go spit a little game with a chick and offer her to come join you guys.

It's minimal game but if you have a decent size social circle that you can hang with, your friends can carry on conversation without while you hit up a girl for 5 minutes and try to bring her and her friends into your group.
07-05-2015 08:07 PM
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Helium1 Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Friends all settling down
I think you are doing right not giving into social pressures like getting married or having a LTR. Like a poster above said your friends will likely get divorced-while you are skipping that ugly phase.
(This post was last modified: 07-05-2015 09:38 PM by Helium1.)
07-05-2015 09:36 PM
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jake1720 Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Friends all settling down
(07-05-2015 08:51 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  
(07-04-2015 10:24 PM)jake1720 Wrote:  I go out solo. Literally go out and make friends. As long as your cool no one cares.

"I just moved here"
"My friends don't go out"
"My friends didn't want to come out tonight"
"I just came out solo"

If the guys are cool they will introduce you to their friends. Generally small talk for 5-10 minutes, then if they like you they will introduce you to their friends. If it doesn't vibe, you can feel it.

For girls "I just came out tonight alone"
I usually get "Wow that takes balls"

You get the idea.

If you're cool no one cares. If you're a schmuck no one will like you.

I've used "my friends? I didn't think I needed someone to hold my hand to walk to the bar and have a drink so I came by myself." From there ramble on about girls needing to go the bathroom in pairs whereas a dude will piss in an alley, differences between men and women etc.

It's really irrelevant. It's kind of like trying to get a 4.0 to get a job at a company when your dad is the owner. You'll get it either way.

If she likes you and you're not some weirdo, you'll just hang out with her and her friends.
07-06-2015 01:16 AM
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Dr. Howard
DetroitGame Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Friends all settling down
I'm 30 years old and in a similar situation. I'm down to just a couple friends who still like to go out and game chicks, and part of the reason they're still single is because they're game is almost non-existent. So I've recently started going out solo, and so far so good. No one-night stands yet, but I've managed to go up a girl's skirt and finger her while she went down my pants and stroked my cock on the dance floor. I also made out/grinded on a few others. Only one was fat, but I was just using her as a confidence booster anyway. I got a couple of their numbers, but you never know how that's gonna go. I don't mind going solo, but I also like having a friend to bullshit with about the scene. If anyone from the Detroit area is in a similar situation, send me a PM.
07-06-2015 02:46 PM
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Simeon_Strangelight Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Friends all settling down
I have two sets of friends. Those who are scoundrels and Game women no matter whether married, in a LTR or not. And then I have those who I could visit with my full extended family. You do different stuff with each of them.

The wholesome ones you can invite for Christmas, the other ones you will spend a week traveling and banging girls. The closest friends can combine both worlds.
07-06-2015 04:17 PM
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carolinasmash Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Friends all settling down
I'm in my early 30's and most of my friends are married and many with kids. I was always a solo guy though, even in clubs, I find it very hard to pull when I'm with other men. What I do many times is I'll do like a double date or something along those lines with those friends. That way I kill two birds with one stone. Only problem I have with this though is some of my friends wives hate that I won't commit, even some of my male friends have jumped on my case saying if I don't settle down I'm going to regret it when I'm in my 50's ect... one wife even blew me up on a date once letting the girl I was with know in the bathroom that I was seeing other girls. needless to say I won't do that again.

The more time that goes by having taken the red pill now the harder it is for me to spend time with my settled down friends especially the ones in unhappy marriages or ones supporting a feminist wife that is fat and making demands of him. It's just hard to stomach watching a friend you care about go down like that and even worse having kids with her.
07-06-2015 05:27 PM
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robreke Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Friends all settling down
(07-06-2015 05:27 PM)carolinasmash Wrote:  I'm in my early 30's and most of my friends are married and many with kids. I was always a solo guy though, even in clubs, I find it very hard to pull when I'm with other men. What I do many times is I'll do like a double date or something along those lines with those friends. That way I kill two birds with one stone. Only problem I have with this though is some of my friends wives hate that I won't commit, even some of my male friends have jumped on my case saying if I don't settle down I'm going to regret it when I'm in my 50's ect... one wife even blew me up on a date once letting the girl I was with know in the bathroom that I was seeing other girls. needless to say I won't do that again.

The more time that goes by having taken the red pill now the harder it is for me to spend time with my settled down friends especially the ones in unhappy marriages or ones supporting a feminist wife that is fat and making demands of him. It's just hard to stomach watching a friend you care about go down like that and even worse having kids with her.

Lesson learned. Keep your life private and tell no one anything. Don't tell your buddies cause half of them will tell their wives and NEVER EVER say anything to any woman that you wouldn't mind being broadcast to the world with a loudspeaker.

Women are incapable of keeping any secret about personal details/relationship details of anyone's lives, let alone friends of their husbands.

Don't worry about them and their attitudes. You're not fitting into the mold, the lives they've sold themselves to, so it's incomprehensible that anyone like yourself should be living that way because you're not a participant in the matrix like them. They don't understand someone like you so human nature is to bash it and try to shame it. Fuck that.

Just do your best to fit in, keep your mouth shut and play along to get what you want. Remember one of the 48 laws of power : Always Play Dumber than your Mark

- One planet orbiting a star. Billions of stars in the galaxy. Billions of galaxies in the universe. Approach.

#BallsWin
07-06-2015 05:36 PM
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greekgod Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Friends all settling down
Recently moved to new City. All friends are back east and getting engaged. Been in a social slum since coming out here and really have no excuse for that. Made a conscious decision to roll solo recently and the confidence and feeling of freedom skyrocketed. Hit a divey bar with live music in a hip part of town and just slow played the night. Game changer.

Here is something to commit to memory, you cannot fully recreate a vibe. You and your boys had a vibe in the day but they are in different places now. You are selling yourself short by longing for that vibe, go do your thing. You'll create some awesome memories along the way.
07-06-2015 09:28 PM
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Nascimento Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Friends all settling down
(07-06-2015 05:27 PM)carolinasmash Wrote:  I'm in my early 30's and most of my friends are married and many with kids. I was always a solo guy though, even in clubs, I find it very hard to pull when I'm with other men. What I do many times is I'll do like a double date or something along those lines with those friends. That way I kill two birds with one stone. Only problem I have with this though is some of my friends wives hate that I won't commit, even some of my male friends have jumped on my case saying if I don't settle down I'm going to regret it when I'm in my 50's ect... one wife even blew me up on a date once letting the girl I was with know in the bathroom that I was seeing other girls. needless to say I won't do that again.

The Lonely Old Man Myth.

They want you to settle to reinforce their choices. They secretly envy your freedom, because you can choose to settle, or not--and if you do, it's whenever you choose to.

Hell I'm just shy of turning 22 and I'm starting to hear subtle suggestions of finding a serious girlfriend because being single is a 'shame.'

Laugh
07-07-2015 07:42 AM
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Beyond Borders Away
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Post: #17
RE: Friends all settling down
(07-04-2015 07:48 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  I'm older than you. My friendships have all gotten quite a shakeup in recent years. Definitely maintain your close long-time friends. You'll never make the kind of friends again that you came up with. Even if they are now homebodies and spent their time with kids now, there's a certain level of trust and history with those people you can't easily replace. Just meet up with those guys once a month or so to grab a bite and catch up. That's all you can hope because they are now in a different place in life. I wouldn't even bother trying to get them to go out and live your lifestyle. Just let them do their thing and you do yours and maintain a friendship in other ways.

Man, there is some real truth in that post, Speak.

(07-07-2015 07:42 AM)Nascimento Wrote:  The Lonely Old Man Myth.

They want you to settle to reinforce their choices. They secretly envy your freedom, because you can choose to settle, or not--and if you do, it's whenever you choose to.

Not only is that very accurate but my observations tell me that you can always settle down with a woman when you're older if you're really that lonely. Will your selection be a few notches down the totem pole? Probably - unless you've got loot and keep yourself looking good, game tight, etc (or move to Asia ha).

But if you had gotten married early on instead, your wife would likely be a few notches down the totem pole by that point anyways, so what's the difference, right? At least if you marry an older woman out of loniliness you already know how she'll age. lol
(This post was last modified: 07-07-2015 08:18 AM by Beyond Borders.)
07-07-2015 08:16 AM
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carolinasmash Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Friends all settling down
I have a sailing buddy here that is 86 years old and donning a 28 year old smoke show. He lives on a sailboat and is not rich. He has never been married, no kids, is still in decent health and sails all over the place. I think she just loves the adventure and the guy has an upbeat funny personality (he does not act 86.) I remember asking him once why he never married and does he regret not having kids. I'm paraphrasing but his answer was a long these lines. He told me no women was worth exchanging his sanity for long-term and he as a responsible logical man knew the world was going to shit at a young age so to be a good father he got his nuts tied for the safety and love of his unborn children.

He is actually my first mentor when I started to learn game
(This post was last modified: 07-07-2015 12:25 PM by carolinasmash.)
07-07-2015 12:22 PM
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robreke Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Friends all settling down
(07-04-2015 07:22 PM)TheBadGuy Wrote:  Hey guys, I am a guy in my late 20s and am finding I have fewer and fewer people to game with. Most of the guys who used to be all in with me are turning into soft served DQ kids cones and settling down, while I feel like I'm still starvin like marvin for new women. I have no trouble scrimping solo, but was curious what the rest of you in my situation or previously in my situation have done. Do you guys tend to try to keep going out with your old friends and just break off to hit on girls every so often, start looking for new friends with the same mindset, or just say fuck it and go solo the majority of the time? These are guys I have known for a long time and been really close with, but just cannot fathom sitting around with dudes drinking or going to bars and immediately looking for a table to sit down at. Thanks guys!





- One planet orbiting a star. Billions of stars in the galaxy. Billions of galaxies in the universe. Approach.

#BallsWin
07-07-2015 05:58 PM
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