I'm Touring The United States! Starting in June, I'm conducting private events in 23 American cities. Click here for full details.

Post Reply 
Funny Bro-science quotes
Author Message
hjs766 Offline
Male Feminist

Posts: 20
Joined: Jan 2015
Reputation: 1
Post: #1
Funny Bro-science quotes
Just to clarify a Bro-scientist is a gym bro who: lifts solely for chest and biceps, believes every supplement industry scam, wears a stringer and usually gets on gear in the first 6months of training.
The three years I've been in the gym there are two Bro-science moments that truly made me lose my shit.

1) So I'm talking to this gym bro who's clearly on gear, nice bloke, and I ask him what he's working that day and how many sets he's done. He asks his bro training partner how many he's done: "ummm 19. Why?"
"19 oh fuck!" This bro sprints over to his bag gets out some whey protein and downs a shake. Walks back over. "Phew nearly went catabolic there." XD

2) Two bro's are walking out of the gym presumably after a session, one bypasses the scales and goes to weigh himself. His bro pulls him up. "Dude, what are you doing? You've already made gains." I was waiting for them to laugh, it never happened, they were dead serious lol.
(This post was last modified: 07-19-2015 07:35 AM by hjs766.)
07-19-2015 07:32 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Designate Offline
Chubby Chaser
**
Gold Member

Posts: 380
Joined: Jan 2015
Reputation: 34
Post: #2
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
Mike Chang is a pioneer in the Bro-Science comedy world.

He's done some great skits on ROK before, including gems such as:
Why Crunches Make You Fat
How Science Shows That Leptin Is The Most Important Fat Burning Hormone
07-19-2015 03:36 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 7 users Like Designate's post:
redbeard, hjs766, roberto, samsamsam, TonySandos, h3ltrsk3ltr, SupaDorkLooza
Mess O. Offline
Wingman
***
Gold Member

Posts: 864
Joined: Jun 2015
Reputation: 6
Post: #3
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
How about when fat chicks say they don't want to lift cuz they "don't want to get bulky"? Bro & Sis-science.
07-19-2015 08:42 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Mess O.'s post:
vinman, Dr. Howard, xxMarco
LINUX Away
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,878
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 243
Post: #4
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
After you hit the gym long enough, you could care-less what other people are doing. You don't care what they're injecting, what they're drinking, what they're saying, or what routine they're following. You get in and get out. If you see what you call a "bro science" dude at the squat rack, 45 years old, with camo fatigues, combat boots, a fanny pack, and an old powerhouse gym t-shirt. My advice is not to fuck with him because he's probably been lifting for thirty years and has little patience for millennials who want to talk about the kreb cycle.
07-19-2015 09:31 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 7 users Like LINUX's post:
roberto, samsamsam, vinman, TonySandos, MiscBrah, JoyStick, Lothario
Truth Teller Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 1,820
Joined: Dec 2013
Reputation: 15
Post: #5
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
You're describing 80-85% of the guys at my university gym.

Don't know how many of you read Brooks Kubik's Dinosaur Quarterly, but he had a nice segment on that a few months ago.

"For you yourselves are aware that the Day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night" (1 Thess. 5:2)
07-19-2015 11:40 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
StrikeBack Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,133
Joined: Dec 2013
Reputation: 91
Post: #6
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
(07-19-2015 08:42 PM)Mess O. Wrote:  How about when fat chicks say they don't want to lift cuz they "don't want to get bulky"? Bro & Sis-science.

There's an old coach here who runs a popular strength gym. Every now & then he gets fat chicks coming in saying exactly this. He'd ask them back: "so what heavy weights have you been lifting then?"

Occasionally there'd be one who gets the joke and doesn't get offended, but sticks around to actually train and improve herself.

StrikeBack's Wife School
07-20-2015 12:29 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like StrikeBack's post:
Kangaroo, vinman, SupaDorkLooza
hjs766 Offline
Male Feminist

Posts: 20
Joined: Jan 2015
Reputation: 1
Post: #7
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
(07-19-2015 09:31 PM)LINUX Wrote:  After you hit the gym long enough, you could care-less what other people are doing. You don't care what they're injecting, what they're drinking, what they're saying, or what routine they're following. You get in and get out. If you see what you call a "bro science" dude at the squat rack, 45 years old, with camo fatigues, combat boots, a fanny pack, and an old powerhouse gym t-shirt. My advice is not to fuck with him because he's probably been lifting for thirty years and has little patience for millennials who want to talk about the kreb cycle.

Yeah you're on the money man. Get in get out lift heavy as fuck (i.e. like Nassim Taleb). Some moments however are too laughable to ignore
07-20-2015 01:24 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
britchard Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 1,530
Joined: Aug 2014
Reputation: 10
Post: #8
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
These aren't quotes, but things that bro science lifters usually do.

Basically living off protein powder, creatine and fat burners.

Having Jeff Seid as an inspiration.
07-20-2015 02:54 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Blackwell Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 489
Joined: Jan 2014
Reputation: 13
Post: #9
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
Believing Jeff Seid when he says that he's natural.
07-20-2015 03:14 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
hjs766 Offline
Male Feminist

Posts: 20
Joined: Jan 2015
Reputation: 1
Post: #10
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
"you don't really wanna be eating egg yolks because they have 3g of carbs" ~ Jeff Seid
07-20-2015 04:56 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes hjs766's post:
sixsix
one-two Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 348
Joined: Nov 2011
Reputation: 3
Post: #11
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
07-21-2015 01:04 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like one-two's post:
hjs766, teh_skeeze
Biz Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 616
Joined: Nov 2009
Reputation: 3
Post: #12
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
The worst one I used to hear all the time that made me fucking cringe was when someone would call each bottle of juice they got a cycle, "I just bought 4 cycles" you mean you bought 4 bottles and that's your cycle?
(This post was last modified: 07-21-2015 04:18 PM by Biz.)
07-21-2015 04:18 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
OBERYN_ Offline
Banned

Posts: 149
Joined: Nov 2014
Post: #13
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
Parroting Mark Rippetoe like he's the Tesla of weightlifting.
07-22-2015 08:38 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes OBERYN_'s post:
Truth Teller
Sonsowey Offline
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 3,303
Joined: May 2010
Reputation: 52
Post: #14
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
In GNC
"Do you have a whey protein with BCAAs? Branching Chain Amino Acids"
"Well actually, protein is MADE of Amino Acids so"

RVF Book Club February: Julius Evola - Revolt Against the Modern World
07-23-2015 02:41 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Biz Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 616
Joined: Nov 2009
Reputation: 3
Post: #15
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
(07-23-2015 02:41 PM)Sonsowey Wrote:  In GNC
"Do you have a whey protein with BCAAs? Branching Chain Amino Acids"
"Well actually, protein is MADE of Amino Acids so"

GNC is a joke. I almost lost my shit when some older lady pronounced Creatine as cre-at-tin. She said a doctor friend of hers told her that's how you say it and refused to believe me that it's not the way it's pronounced after I actually argued with her for a solid 2 minutes. I looked around to see if people were listening because I was dumbfounded by what was going on.

About a month later I go back and grab something real quick and at the register was this young skinny looking dude, I ask him if he knows the older lady that works there, he said yes so I say "do you know that she pronounces creatine as cre-at-tin?" He says "yea man that's how you say it", I responded with "you got to be fucking kidding me right?", pay for my shit and leave.

I will never return.
07-23-2015 03:31 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Biz's post:
RedPillUK
OBERYN_ Offline
Banned

Posts: 149
Joined: Nov 2014
Post: #16
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
Why do you care how a cashier at a store pronounces any item the store sells?

"Where is the _______?" should be the extent of your questions. These people aren't your coaches, trainers, or doctors.
07-23-2015 05:14 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes OBERYN_'s post:
hjs766
Hannibal Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,945
Joined: May 2012
Reputation: 50
Post: #17
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
[Image: glutes-for-the-sloots-comic.jpg]


[Image: LSpVs.jpg]

“I have a very simple rule when it comes to management: hire the best people from your competitors, pay them more than they were earning, and give them bonuses and incentives based on their performance. That’s how you build a first-class operation.”
― Donald J. Trump

If you want some PDF's on bodyweight exercise with little to no equipment, send me a PM and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
07-23-2015 06:07 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Hannibal's post:
Benson
Benson Offline
Banned

Posts: 35
Joined: Mar 2015
Post: #18
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
hahahaha

I can't say I have much to add except that I love it that the people who criticize me the most now that i'm getting in shape are people who are really skinny who look like they have never touched a weight in their life or fat people.

"Oh you're going to the gym too much" by some spagetti armed dude.
"Blowing yourself up like a baloon isn't natural" by a fat guy, apparently being fat and out of shape is more natural.

:Z
07-23-2015 08:35 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
007
Unregistered

 
Post: #19
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
"I heard they (bodybuilders) inject their steroids into their testicles to make it safer"

"Bro, stay natural... that creatine stuff is dangerous"

"those guys are taking cow juice (as he was pointing at a pair of juice heads"

"I don't take hcg, never taken it... that's being too technical" - mega juicehead gym member
07-26-2015 02:22 PM
Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes 007's post:
xxMarco
Repo Offline
International Playboy
******

Posts: 3,290
Joined: Feb 2015
Reputation: 23
Post: #20
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
"You can tell that these people coming here 5 times a week are on roids. The human body can't naturally recover that fast. "
07-26-2015 08:00 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
britchard Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 1,530
Joined: Aug 2014
Reputation: 10
Post: #21
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
Takes dangerous preworkouts to 'get the buzz brah'
'You can't get big without shakes brah'
Watches Mike Chang
'Windows' for eating.
07-27-2015 02:30 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Truth Teller Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 1,820
Joined: Dec 2013
Reputation: 15
Post: #22
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
(07-26-2015 08:00 PM)Repo Wrote:  "You can tell that these people coming here 5 times a week are on roids. The human body can't naturally recover that fast. "

The human body usually can't recover from more than three full-body sessions per week, which is how guys trained before the advent of Dianabol and injectable testosterone. However, with the development and popularization of those two steroids, split routines developed and training five days a week became the new normal.

"For you yourselves are aware that the Day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night" (1 Thess. 5:2)
08-02-2015 06:10 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Repo Offline
International Playboy
******

Posts: 3,290
Joined: Feb 2015
Reputation: 23
Post: #23
RE: Funny Bro-science quotes
Wasn't referring to full body sessions, just regular guys doing bro splits. I've done that for years without steroids and still gained size (though I have also done it with steroids and gained size way quicker).
08-02-2015 06:28 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | RooshV.com | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication