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Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
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Handsome Creepy Eel Offline
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Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
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Nairobi, Kenya. I know what you're probably thinking: HIV, Al-Shabaab, starvation, crime? I found Kenya to be not at all like that, and my two months there were very pleasant and safe. I'll definitely come again. Let's get started:

Currency: Kenyan Shilling (Ksh or Kes). $1 US is approximately 95 kes. IMPORTANT: If you are bringing cash to buy your visa on arrival or to exchange, be sure to bring bills newer than 2007 as the older ones are not accepted anywhere.

Language: Everyone speaks their tribal language, Swahili and English, both of which are official languages. I learned some Swahili because I found it fun, but in general you will never encounter anyone who doesn't speak at least a bit of English.

[Image: 502_002.jpg?v=3]
This bill will buy you a taxi ride to/from CBD from any residential neighborhood, a nice meal at a solid bistro or restaurant, or a bus ticket to anywhere in the country. Most ATMs dispense either these or occasionally 500s.

Cost of living in Kenya is very low, but cost of tourism isn't. Most people who enjoy western-level luxury are tourists from UK and EU, and it pumps up the prices. If you are accustomed to western comforts, don't expect to live cheap here.

   
   

For someone hailing from a fucked up country like me, it was punishing and the next time I come I'll just rent an empty place like a common resident and decorate it myself, then sell the stuff when I leave. I found most stuff to be wildly expensive, although in the USA probably no one would have batted an eye at a $15 restaurant meal or $1000 for monthly rent of an ok apartment (in a nice and safe but definitely not luxurious neighborhood 15 minutes of driving away from CBD).

Street sellers generally have fair prices, as they are meant to serve locals. Souvenir sellers, though, will try to rob you and you can haggle their original prices down to 1/3rd or 1/4th of the original amount. Bringing a local is helpful.

Safaricom and Airtel are the main telecom providers. I was happy with Safaricom's internet bundles (3 GB for 1000 kes, plus some change for texts and calls).

Safety concerns: I found Nairobi to be safe and pleasant, with no problem greater than persistent street sellers. Though generally cautious and taking a taxi when I had to return home after dark, sometimes I also walked around dark places or at late hours and never saw or experienced anything threatening. No one tried to pickpocket me or do anything worse.

   
   
CBD - Perfectly safe during daytime, risky but not so bad at night

   
Middle-class residential area Umoja - perfectly safe during daytime, probably less so at night

Terrorism gives Nairobi a bad rap, especially with high-profile attacks like Westgate and Garissa, but keep in mind that since the Al Shabaab troubles began around 2011, around a thousand people have been killed all over Kenya. For comparison, around three thousand people die in car crashes in California (a state with similar population) every year. So terrorism is definitely a concern, especially in the eastern and northeastern regions, but it's not like it's some scourge that has high odds of affecting you.

Health concerns: While the odds of encountering any of these in Nairobi are low, you are still advised to vaccinate yourself beforehand for Yellow Fever, Hepatitis A and Typhoid. For anti-malaria medication, I advise choosing Malarone (atovaquone-proguanil), a relatively new drug that destroys malaria everywhere in the body (as opposed to just in blood like some others do) and has no or very little side effects. It's more expensive, but it's worth it.
Also, bring an insect repellent spray and make sure that your bedroom has a mosquito net. Don't eat street food and make sure to wash your fruits and vegetables thoroughly.

If you intend to travel outside of Nairobi (I did), these preventive measures become a must. Consult your doctor and CDC's global database for more information: http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/destinations...none/kenya

HIV, despite being rampant in Africa, is not so rampant in Kenya. Be sure to use protection, but you don't need to live in fear.

Note: Like a big part of Kenya, Nairobi lies at an impressive elevation of 1700m. A sensitive person who has always resided at sea level could experience mild altitude sickness.

Climate: The climate in Nairobi is a pleasant eternal spring, with varying levels of rain depending on season. Expect to walk around in long-sleeved but light clothing.

Getting around: From the airport to your chosen residence, you will need a taxi, which costs around 3000 kes. For going around your daily life, most westerners rely on taxis (500-1000 for a ride around CBD, Westlands and surrounding areas). To my knowledge, I was the only westerner to ever enter a matatu (minibus that serves as the main form of transport for local people). Most people who come to Nairobi just get stuck in their air-conditioned hotels and never have any contact with locals outside of tourism industry.

   

The term "Mzungu" is something like "Gringo" - a neutral way of indicating a white person. Expect to hear it a lot if you go to places outside CBD/Westlands.

Food: Kenyan cuisine is an interesting mixture of Mediterranean, Arabic and Chinese ones, with lots of tomatoes, onions and stir-frying. I found it very tasty and healthy, and it weaned me off eating bread with everything like I am prone to doing. Great stuff. You can find western and international cuisines easily too, as there are lots of restaurants.
Note: consumption of wild meat is prohibited in Kenya, but it's possible to run into it occasionally at restaurants like The Carnivore.

Girls: Girls are generally slim (despite having stronger thighs and asses as typical for Africans), long-haired and pleasant. Tattoos and piercings are almost unheard of and are not viewed as anything good. Girls are already positively predisposed towards strangers, viewing (sometimes rightfully) local men as being brutish and clumsy. I was able to witness for myself the atrocious game of African guys, so I can say with confidence that World game will serve you well. Just be a confident nice guy and you will get far. Treat the girls with kindness, you don't want to ruin them for others.

Feminism is practically nonexistent, with any public outrage or activism centering around actual violations of women's rights (such as a crowd of men abusing a woman in a bus and stripping her naked). There are some political action trying to introduce gender quotas in order to suck up to the West, but in general Kenya is safe from the evils that plague our parts of the world, and thankfully will stay that way for a long time.

Quote:But Obama’s call for universal gay rights was quickly dismissed by Kenyatta, who described the issue as something “our culture, our society does not accept.”

“For Kenyans today, the issue of gay rights is really a non-issue. We want to focus on other areas that are day-to-day living for our people,” he said, citing heath concerns and women’s rights.

“This issue is not really an issue that is on the foremost of mind for Kenyans, and that is a fact," he said to some applause.

Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh

Beyond Nairobi:

   
A small village and its commercial activity around the inter-city road

Rural Kenya is pleasant and safe, and people are kinder and less inclined to view you as a walking pile of cash like in Nairobi. It's almost unheard of to see a white person, although an NGO or backpacker person does make their way occasionally. You can stay at very decent hotels in small towns (like Nakuru, Narok, Kisumu or Kisii) for 2500 kes per night, breakfast included, which is very cheap.

Safaris and safari resorts usually cost 15-25 000 shilling per night per person (various stuff included or not included in the package - always ask), which for me is outrageously high and almost unaffordable, but in all fairness it is worth it (if you pick a good resort). I stayed at Kongoni Lodge on the ARR Reserve near Lake Naivasha (2 hrs northwest of Nairobi) and it offers a very good value for money. I left extremely happy and satisfied and would recommend it to anyone.

Note: if you travel (whether it is by rent-a-car or by bus) around Kenya, be aware of the insanely placed road bumps. They are savagely high and will massacre you if you don't stop to zero km/h before them and cross very slowly. On the other hand, travelling around the rural areas is worth it simply to see the vast stretches of untouched savannah and giraffes calmly wandering alongside the road. If you have time to kill and have been properly vaccinated and supplied with anti-malaria medicines, be sure to explore Kenya.

Got any questions? Just ask Banana


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08-02-2015 06:32 AM
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Belgrano Offline
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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
Nice datasheet!
Thumb up
It´s always great to get some data from Africa on the forum. In my opinion the last frontier of traveling, would love to hear more about it.

Quote:Got any questions? Just ask

Yes, the most important one.
Did you bang?
(This post was last modified: 08-02-2015 07:05 AM by Belgrano.)
08-02-2015 07:01 AM
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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
(08-02-2015 07:01 AM)Celtic_Austrian Wrote:  Nice datasheet!
Thumb up
It´s always great to get some data from Africa on the forum. In my opinion the last frontier of traveling, would love to hear more about it.

Thanks man. I find it a pity that many people refuse to travel to Africa because they're concerned about safety or comfort, especially to more advanced African countries like Kenya. There's a massive difference between them and actual shitholes like Zimbabwe.

Quote:Got any questions? Just ask

Quote:Yes, the most important one.
Did you bang?

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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
Nice datasheet.

Did you find the girls there to be easy? You banged any?

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08-02-2015 07:18 AM
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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
(08-02-2015 07:18 AM)pitt Wrote:  Did you find the girls there to be easy?

I can't speak for clubs because I didn't venture into them (however I hear they're quite a reasonable option), but in general yes. Girls don't play games like in the West and will be more open with you at any stage, whether it's starting a conversation (I got opened every now and then just from standing around at a street), giving numbers or meeting you. I can't imagine any normal guy having problems there.

Quote:You banged any?

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I was there for two months, remember. I would not be worthy of being called a man if I had stayed celibate all that time...

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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
Handsome Eel, this is a great datasheet. I have a childhood friend who lives there (British Naija) and he keeps sending me pics weekly encouraging me to come. Your datasheet is on point. I am very happy for you and I love African datasheets.

+1.

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08-02-2015 01:38 PM
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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
This is great, man. But I just checked tickets several months in advance. Pretty pricey! I would like to hear more about the types of girls you banged and maybe some game you used or whatever, but I suspect it is as easy as you say it is.

Still waiting on a comprehensive Ethiopia datasheet. Tongue

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08-02-2015 02:14 PM
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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
Great sheet man. I head there Thursday, so I'll expound on your sheet when I get back stateside.

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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
Used to go to NBO many times in the past with my work. This is a great datasheet and yes a lot of fun was had without dipping into the pocket.
08-02-2015 11:30 PM
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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
(08-02-2015 02:14 PM)Il Bersagliere Wrote:  This is great, man. But I just checked tickets several months in advance. Pretty pricey!

Heh, for me it was close. From Europe, the return ticket (usually via Istanbul) costs just $600. It was the other expenses (vaccinations/medicines, accommodation, taxis & restaurants) that chewed me up.

Quote:I would like to hear more about the types of girls you banged and maybe some game you used or whatever, but I suspect it is as easy as you say it is.

While I was happy with one very nice girl (was that Beta? ™), I did always keep an eye open for you guys. Overall the vibe is very different from western girls, which was very relaxing for me. No attention whoring on social networks, very little flakiness, no need to be a clown. Just day game, be kind, tease very lightly and be assertive.

I would honestly be flabbergasted if anyone from this forum had problems in Kenya.

p.s. despite the perception of white = rich, most girls are not gold diggers and won't be nagging you to buy them stuff or to show off at expensive places.

Quote:Great sheet man. I head there Thursday, so I'll expound on your sheet when I get back stateside.

Wish you a good time! If you need any info while there, just PM me.

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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
(08-02-2015 02:14 PM)Il Bersagliere Wrote:  This is great, man. But I just checked tickets several months in advance. Pretty pricey! I would like to hear more about the types of girls you banged and maybe some game you used or whatever, but I suspect it is as easy as you say it is.

Still waiting on a comprehensive Ethiopia datasheet. Tongue

I found a ticket for $785.

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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
I'm trying to visit Ethiopia or Tanzania in February so this is good news. Seems its cheaper to fly from Toronto or Washington DC if you're on the east coast.

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08-03-2015 12:47 PM
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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
I have spent some time in Nairobi over the last couple of years. Mostly this was for work outside the capital, but when I've passed through I've sneaked in plenty of nights out. It goes without saying that most high end places are frequented by pros but there are also plenty of normal girls, Africans from all over the continent, white Africans and tourists and Indians. From what I remember some of the bars/clubs are:

Sankara Rooftop Bar - This is the top floor of a plush hotel. The bar surrounds a swimming pool and serves drinks, food and hookah pipes. It is pricey and gets really busy Friday and Saturday. You probably need to book in advance. It's OK, but not my kind of vibe.

Gipsy Bar - This is an expat hangout also popular with Indians. It's quiet on most weekday nights and gets lively on the weekend. Shows all the football games etc. Go there for a couple of beers and try and work out if the girl you're talking to is wanting paid.

Southern Sun Mayfair - This is another plush hotel, but has a pleasant bar beside the swimming pool. Live jazz music and the likes most nights. Very nice to relax and have a drink in the evening, or take a girl out for a date.

Brew Bistro - This is a microbrewery of some sort. It has good beer, you can get a 'taster' set of about 6 to try. If I remember right it has salsa nights which are popular.

Black Diamond - Last time I went here it had karaoke on. There were a lot of girls, most of them waiting around for clientele. There was a balcony to sit on and watch the street below. I wasn't too bothered about going back, so it can't have been that great.

Bacchus Lounge - If this is the place I think it was it had a really good reggae night. That's my kind of music, so I liked it a lot. Small bar but the vibe was cool. I met hot Ugandan chick here, so I remember it with a smile on my face.

Aqua Blu - I went here half cut so my memory is failing me. It was much cheaper than the rest, and they served hookah pipes as well. The place was pretty happening and it was mid-week after 1am.


In short there are plenty places to go in Nairobi on a night out. The reggae is quality if you choose the right night. The girls are often stunning and will in the most part enjoy being approached by a foreign guy. Throughout the city, in restaurants and shops there are a plethora of nationalities I suppose because inside Africa Nairobi is quite a wealthy destination and Kenya has a relatively healthy economy. I would think any competent drinker would struggle not to pull.
08-04-2015 08:25 PM
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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
(08-02-2015 03:05 PM)Joga Bonito Wrote:  Great sheet man. I head there Thursday, so I'll expound on your sheet when I get back stateside.

Yo mon, you still alive? Ping us and share some experiences...

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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
(08-15-2015 06:07 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  
(08-02-2015 03:05 PM)Joga Bonito Wrote:  Great sheet man. I head there Thursday, so I'll expound on your sheet when I get back stateside.

Yo mon, you still alive? Ping us and share some experiences...

Haha alive and well, I've been upcountry(rural areas)on my parents farm, so I just got into Nairobi yesterday. I'll upload some pics and stuff when I get to a better connection and have visited more spots.

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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
I just got back from Nairobi visiting family, and will add some more specific info to HCE's great overview.

Exchanging Money

If you are using USD or Euros, you are going to want to use big bills since those get a more favorable exchange rate when you get into the country. $50 and $100 bills are preferred. You’ll find the best exchange rates are Forex facilities and they are dotted all over the city. Use a bank like Standard Chartered to withdraw money from ATMs as another option. For those that don’t have it, I would recommend a company like Charles Schwab for a checking account/ATM card, since they do not charge foreign transaction fees and also refund all ATM fees. Also, get the newest bills possible before you exchange to shillings. Also, make sure you get the newest US bills that you can before you hop on the plane.

Getting There

Visa: A visa is required to enter the country unless you are part of a select few countries which you can read here. For those that do not meet the aforementioned criteria, you can purchase a visa on arrival at one of the 4 international airports in the country. However, this is due to expire on August 31st, so you will need a prearranged visa after that date, which you can get at a Kenyan embassy or consulate. The cost of a one-time visa is 50 dollars or 40 euros. Dollars or euros is the preferred currency when you buy on arrival. Dual citizenship is also available for those with Europeans and Americans with Kenyan parents. For Americans, flying out of Chicago and Washington DC will see significantly lower fares, while Europeans will want to fly out of London if possible.

Getting Around the City

Getting around Nairobi is not overly convenient, and when coupled with the fact that it has some of the worst traffic jams in Africa (which is really saying something), it can become a downright logistical nightmare. During the time intervals of 7-10 AM, 1-2 PM and 4-7 PM, traffic is essentially gridlocked, and you will witness some of the most reckless drivers in the world. A major cause of the traffic jams is thought to be because of the implementation of roundabouts during British colonial times. The city population has exploded since the colonial era ended, so the setup is quite antiquated considering the scope of the drivers involved. The government has started to remove the roundabouts, so there has seen improvement in those areas, but overall the situation is dreadful.





With that said the options are as follows:
  • Taxi-Taxi’s are the most convenient option, but can add up although if you post up in the CBD or Westlands neighborhoods you are not farther than a 5-6 dollar ride than most major attractions. Uber is available here also which is a very nice if you purchased a data plan or use T-Mobile’s free roaming feature. A good development here is that Uber is available, so you can use that for airport transfers to your hotel, as well as to get around on demand. The taxi kiosk at Jomo Kenyatta airport has a list of licensed taxis that are safe to use, so you can rest assured with those. The cost is gonna be around 20-40 dollars. You may be able to organize transport from your airport to the hotel as well.
  • Matatu- Matatus(minibuses featuring 14-18 seats) used to be infamous for their crazy drivers and dubious safety records, which forced the government to make sweeping reforms to clean up the sector. For those itching for a unique experience or to save change on transport this can be a good option. They are a lot safer than they used to be these days and one of the most available methods of transport. Also, ask about the rate before you board, as it varies from bus to bus. I prefer taxi’s since there is a lot of riff raff like crazy preachers. They are also a bit cramped for a taller guy like myself, so I passed on using them on this trip having had prior experience with them.
  • Piki piki-Motorbikes that are useful in traffic jams since thy can get around the chaos. Thse also require balls of steel to ride, since a lot of times you won’t even get a safety helmet and they are wizzing around in very tight areas. Very quick method though comparatively.
    Buses- Buses are the better option than matatus in my opinion. This pertains especially to the purple Double M bus, which are clean and have the fares listed prominently on the bus. You also won’t have to deal with the riff raff of matatus, since the service is much more professional.

Getting around the country.

Fly540- This is a low budget airline, that flies to all major areas around the country and also to some other countries like Sudan and Zanzibar (Tanzania). This is recommended if you want to circumvent the shitty roads in the rural parts of the country. The service is solidly rated and with good staff. Think Spirit or RyanAir.

For those that prefer the scenic route, EasyCoach, is one of the best rated bus services for city to city travel. You can book online as well. The Guardian Coach is also another great option for traveling city to city.

Lastly, you can use the train which is pretty affordable at around 65 bucks one way. You can book such travel via this link for example.

Where to Stay/ The Hoods
Westlands is traditionally Nairobi’s social and entertainment center for expatriates and wealthy Kenyans, a lively cluster of shops, restaurants, bars and nightclubs a couple miles to the north of the central business district. One of the city’s largest modern shopping plazas, the four-story Sarit Centre, is here, competing with two smaller centers nearby. There are dozens of restaurants, three late-night western-style bars, two nightclubs and a casino. This is undoubtedly where you want to post up as all the best places are concentrated here or very close by. This areas features a very diverse crowd and you’ll find a wide variety of neighborhood. The only issue is that some of the hotels have a policy where you have to pay around $40 to bring a girl up in addition to have her sign in and show ID, if you bring her after a certain time. Any guests you bring up have to be registered regardless of the hotel I believe by law though, so that’s something to inquire about before you book. with that being said, some good hotels are:

La Maison Royale- Great value for the price with very nice modern décor. At night the surrounding area gets dark and a little unsettling for some, so I would not recommend walking from here to the nightlife areas dolo, once the sun goes down. There is some security, but better to just take an Uber to avoid any issues. Rooms start at $80 bucks for a single, so this is a great value.

Hotel Kempinski- For all the suave,suited down types, this is your place. President Obama stayed here recently and it’s one of the places where important figures and delegates stay when they come to Nairobi. This’ll set you back a cool $250 a night. Probably the best hotel in the city.

Sankara- Another great hotel with a sick rooftop bar, that is for a more mature/corporate crowd. It is located right next to one of the better malls in Kenya and also literally down the street from a lot of the most happening bars and clubs in Nairobi. You’ll need around $150 to stay here per night.

Some cheaper options also include PrideInn Hotel, Nanchang Hotel, Sirona and Progressive Park Hotel. All are significantly cheaper than 100 dollars and offer the same logistical benefits of Sankara or La Maison Royale.

Kilimani/Hurlingham/Kileleshwa- A good alternative to staying in Westlands, since a lot of the Airbnb settlements are located here and not in Westlands. Kilimani borders Westlands, so taking a taxi will be cheap, while also allowing you to circumvent the coockblocking hotel rules that I mentioned earlier. There are a lot of good restaurants in the area as well as great potential for daygamers since there are three malls close by- the smart Yaya Centre on Argwings Kodhek Road, the older and scruffier Adams’ Arcade on Ngong Road and the sleek Junction, also on Ngong Road – as well as to several large supermarkets including Nakumatt Prestige on Ngong Road, which is open 24-hours a day. These are middle and upper middle class hoods.

City Center(CBD)-City center is a decent option snce theres quite a few bars here and nightlife options. To me Westlands has the superior nighlife options, which appeal to all budgets, but city center is a nice change of pace that has some good spots in its own right. I’m not very sure about the lodging options here, but spend more time here if your budget is smaller.

Girls
Pros:
Incredible bodies with plump fat asses. If you’re an ass man, you’ll be in heaven
They are very sexual and make no qualms about it
Will approach you if they like what they see. Not shy about speaking up
Great dancers. Twerking, slow wine they’ve got it all down pat
Wide variety. Yellow bones, dark girls, Ethiopian girls, Chinese Girls, Somali Girls, Arab girls and of course a wide variety of Black African girls
Don’t have a lot of hangups with regards to being DTF
Very interested in foreigners
Good conversationalists

Cons:
Vast majority won’t grow their hair out. Lots of chicks wearing weaves and wigs in conjunction with using damaging hair products, instead of embracing and improving their natural hair(like a lot of Black girls are starting to do in the states). It’s a myth that sub-Saharan African girls can’t grow long hair, as you see many tribes with it, what is missing is the discipline to do so.

Can be a bit headstrong. The combination of Nairobi’s improved economic prospects and the inroads of feminism have changed some attitudes for the worst. Most of the local guys I talked to find Rwandan and Ugandan girls a bit more easy going than Kenyan chicks. For a foreigner staying for a week, this is lesson an issue, but something to beware of. I recall my boy telling me that more than a couple times girls have taken him home, then after the deed was done, basically expressing that it was only sex and they wanted nothing to do with him after. This really only applies to middle class and rich city girls(career driven). Not as bad as American girls in the aggregate, but American culture is very popular here so the effects aren't surprising.

Lots of butterfaces(crazy bodies below average faces). Daygame is not tremendously fruitful here in terms of quality as you won’t see a ton above 7 during the day. All the bad chicks come out at night though, so if you’re a nightlife guy, you can take solace in that. In terms of face (Black Africans) I would rank Nigerian, Ghanaian, Angolan, South African, and Ivorian women ahead of Kenyans. There are still stunners for sure though.

As far as the competition, Kenyan men generally speaking are poor dressers and not smooth when I comes to game. I regularly, saw dudes flat out grab chicks and caveman their way in the number or grind session. Following the basic tenets espoused here for dressing will set you apart drastically, in addition to being much smoother with your mouthpiece. Gym culture is practically non-existent as well, so if you are jacked and tall, you will enjoy a major advantage. Girls were regularly commenting on my height. The dudes are generally cool as fuck though, so if you are solo make sure to engage a couple and shoot the shit.

Nightlife

Kenyans are very gregarious people and like to party in groups, so the downside is at a lot of the venues you go to groups will seem rather cliquey. I went out solo a couple nights, since I never do so at home and it’s not common for folks to do so like you might find in the states. Try to find a wingman if at all possible, since chicks often roll in 3s or more. However, if a chick really likes you she’ll tell her friends and they’ll leave you to do whatever with no protest in my experience. There’s so many options that it can seem overwhelming at first, but the good news is that popularity for clubs here aren’t very transient so the spots that are hot have been that way quite a while. Besides a Monday, it’s not hard to find places that are active or in some cases packed even on a Tuesday or Wednesday. It helps that venues often don’t close until 4 or later, so early last call isn’t an issue. The music was also pretty good as it featured rap, reggae and East/West African pop music. Ironically, Kenyans don’t like Kenyan music much, so you hear pretty much anything but that in clubs. The Congolese also enjoy quite a bit of popularity here, with what is affectionately called Lingala(the language in which they sing in). Nightlife is considered tops if not the best in all of Africa, and was a very welcome change from the typical North American duds I'm used to.

Some spots of note are below (not exhaustive):

Tuesdays
--------------
K1 Club(Parklands/Westlands)- a pretty big venue that serves as a karaoke/live band venue earlier in that night, then transforms into a club after 11 or so. If you don’t hit any other spot in Nairobi you must go to this one, as it captures the essence of Nairobi nightlife in a nutshell. The talent here is also the best of any other place that I went featuring every shade and ethnicity you can think of. This is also a good spot since you can isolate chicks in the attached poolhouse since the club area gets pretty loud. Gets insanely hype and full, so it makes for a great atmosphere. As one of my family members remarked when she heard I had been here, "Ah, you have finally experienced Nairobi". All this on a Tuesday no less.

Wednesdays
----------------
Galileo Lounge (Westlands)- from 8-12 this is the spot to be for a Wednesday. Features some good talent here as well, with a split of Ethiopian chicks and Kenyan chicks.

Bacchus Lounge- According to some locals people filter here from Galileo after 12, but I didn’t check it out on that particular day.

Caramel Lounge- This is a spot for ballers, as it features some of the highest prices in the city for a bar. Wednesday is a ladies night as well, so a lot of single higher class ladies come here to chill with their girls. There will be women from all ethnicities here.

Thursday
----------------
Havana Restaurant(Westlands)- a cool laid back spot that mixes locals and expats very well. It is also located near spots like Aqua Blu, Bacchus Lounge, and Hypnotica.


Friday
----------------
Xo Millionaires Club(City Center)- a club that tries to model itself after something in Vegas, with bottle service and everything that comes with that. You’ll find Nigerians, Ethiopians and Kenyans in here for the most part. Cover was 1000 shillings or 10 bucks and that included a free drink. It also features a stage for gogo dancers, some of who are bad as fuck It’s easy to game them since they walk around the club freely. This is actually the only time I paid cover.

Ebony Lounge(Westlands)- This is another spot worth noting for 25 and ups. Serves as a good move once Millionaires club starts to die down a bit, as it goes into the wee hours of the morning.

Mercury Lounge(Westlands)- a laid back area to get your night started. This is better for groups or cats that like a more upscale environment.

Juniper Kitchen- Good for brunch on Sundays and also gets very popular after work Fridays. Very mixed crowd here and another must-hit if you get the time.

Saturday
---------------

Skyluxx Lounge(Westlands)- This is the spot to hit for the 18-24 cohort, so if you are a high energy club type of guy, you’ll do well here. You are mostly going to see Black girls here, with a smattering of Indians here and there. It also gets really crowded, so get there early.

Hypnotica(Westlands)- Besides K1 Club, this is probably the best spot in the city at the moment in terms of popularity. However, it is not that great for a solo player, because the venue is mostly made up of tables of people mingling within their social respective groups. There’s a lot of mixed groups though, so if you comfortable in that setting then you may find success here. Otherwise, I would recommend just stepping in to check out the atmosphere then bouncing to one of the many venues in the surrounding area.

Black Diamond(Westlands)- a hugely popular club with expats and also known as pro central. I didn’t get a chance to go here, but it may be worth checking out since it commonly pops up as one of the best clubs to go to in the city.

Buddha Bar(Westlands)- Another upscale type bar. You’ll see a lot of Whites and Indians here, it’s a cool atmosphere to get your night started.

Besides these suggestions ask cab drivers about some popular spots for the night, since they often are well versed on where the traffic is. Check out these two sites as well since they breakdown the major events in the city:
http://www.kenyabuzz.com/
http://whats-on-nairobi.com/#

Online Game
The quality during online game leaves a lot to be desired for the most part. I tied three sites:

Afrointroductions- The quality on this site is fairly low and you need to pay money about 35 bucks to send messages to girls. If you’re trying to cover all the bases, and capture low hanging fruit than it may be worth the investment since if you dig hard enough thres some cute girls , but if your confident with your day and night game, online is largely unnecessary.

Tinder- The quality of tinder is fairly good and features the best talent of any of the online sites I used. I would say to just rock with Tinder since it’s very low investment and features a lot of good looking girls, especially foreign chicks working for NGOs and the like.

Badoo- Waste of time pretty much.

Daygame

The area between Moi Avenue and City –Hall Way- There are multiple universities in this area including University of Nairobi and Kenya Methodist University, north of the Global roundabout. You’ll see a lot of young, decent looking chicks in this area. Also, check out the Nairobi Java House in this area, which is a local coffee shop chain.

The area surrounding the Kenyatta Convention Center- This is another good area during lunch time and immediately after work as you catch chicks in their business attire mulling around. The top of the Kenyatta Convention Center is also a good date spot, where you can get amazing views of the city. Take a girl up there for lunch.

Village Market/Galleria Mall/Yaya Centre/Westgate/Sarit Center- best malls in Kenya at the moment

Miscellaneous things

American culture and all its fixing are very popular here. You'll hear all the latest songs and the younger people will all be well versed in the happenings of American pop culture and TV

Nairobi is the tech and business hub of East Africa, so there’s a lot of development going on here. The startup tech scene is burgeoning and some call it Africa’s version of Silicon Valley. There's a ton of multinationals here as well. The video below explains it:





Smartphone penetration is very high here

Kenyans speak some of the best if not the best English in Africa, since it is mandatory to learn it from the 1st grade. As a result, any Swahili is really a bonus. They talk remarkably similar to Britons, right down to the "isn't it(innit)" at the end of their sentences.

Porsches, Range Rovers, Mercedes, BMWs of all makes and models are surprisingly very common on the streets

If you get invited into a Kenyans home, expect generous hospitality, which sometimes borders on being a bit of an annoyance. It’s customary to offer visitors food and drink, even if they are strangers.

Must do things:
  • Go to the top of Kenyatta Convention Center
  • Eat nyama-choma(beef) and down the local beer Tusker, while shooting the shit with your newfound Kenyan homies
  • Ride a matatu once, to remind you why it’s a shitty idea
  • Go to the National Museum and National Archives if you like history
  • Hit Le Palanka, for a sophisticated take on African cuisine, Also try Abyssinia, an amazing Ethiopian restaurant.
  • Visit the Snake Pit at the National Musuem
  • Party on Electric Avenue in Westlands
  • Head to rift valley and take in the scenery
  • For the beer buffs, hit the Brew Bistro, the best brewer in the country

Verdict
Nairobi has developed a ton since I was last there in 2006, and its appeal to any budget and endless things to do make it a great destination to hit. There’s prettier girls in other countries of Africa, but the diversity in chicks, friendliness of the people and bustling nightlife make me recommend it highly. However, expect pay the equivalent of US prices for most things due to the high influx of foreign expats, NGOs, and multinationals.

"Only time, a woman made a man a millionaire, was when that man was a former billionaire" - Royce da 5'9
(This post was last modified: 08-24-2015 07:40 PM by Joga Bonito.)
08-24-2015 07:11 PM
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Post: #17
RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
Best data sheet I've seen in a while.

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08-24-2015 07:15 PM
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Post: #18
RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
@Joga

Epic Data Sheet man! +1 from me.

Kenya is a country I have been eyeing for a while now so this couldn't come in a more perfect time. I'm definitely going to plan ahead for a Kenya, Uganda and Tanzania trip now. I was thinking of going this year but the safety concern and the perception that I had about Kenya being a very pro heavy country ultimately made me decide to go elsewhere (Colombia). Thanks for this.

Some followup questions for you and Handsome Creepy Eel.

How safe is it to roll out looking fly and dressed to the nines at night in Nairobi? Is it safe to dress up and walk at night?

How do you go about knowing which girl is a pro and which isn't. I imagine the bars would be full of them. How do you weed this out?


This was much needed info. Great work!
08-24-2015 08:37 PM
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Post: #19
RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
(08-24-2015 08:37 PM)MidWest Wrote:  @Joga

Epic Data Sheet man! +1 from me.

Kenya is a country I have been eyeing for a while now so this couldn't come in a more perfect time. I'm definitely going to plan ahead for a Kenya, Uganda and Tanzania trip now. I was thinking of going this year but the safety concern and the perception that I had about Kenya being a very pro heavy country ultimately made me decide to go elsewhere (Colombia). Thanks for this.

Some followup questions for you and Handsome Creepy Eel.

How safe is it to roll out looking fly and dressed to the nines at night in Nairobi? Is it safe to dress up and walk at night?

How do you go about knowing which girl is a pro and which isn't. I imagine the bars would be full of them. How do you weed this out?


This was much needed info. Great work!

Thanks man.

Err on the safe side and take cabs door to door at night with Uber. That was the advice from local guys that hit the scene and older Kenyans that I talked to. You'll be fine dressing up if you follow that advice. All of the venues and their immediate surroundings have a lot of security in light of recent events in the country so once you get to your destination you have nothing to worry about. One of the few things I don't like about the city is the fact that the streets are not well lit in a lot of areas, so again it's better not to risk it.

As far as pros these are some of the telltale signs:
  1. They ask you where you are from and where you are staying 5 min into the convo
  2. They ask for drinks very early on in the interaction
  3. By herself and approaching guys consistently. You can also see them scanning the room intently.
Unfortunately, a lot of the best spots have expats in them, so therefore they are a magnet for pros, since some of these guys have very generous entertainment allowances from their employers. In that sense, your fears are justified, since sex tourism is pretty big here. Once you spend a few days in the scene, you'll be able to get a pretty good sense who is working and who isn't.

"Only time, a woman made a man a millionaire, was when that man was a former billionaire" - Royce da 5'9
(This post was last modified: 08-24-2015 09:54 PM by Joga Bonito.)
08-24-2015 09:52 PM
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Post: #20
RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
Quote:How safe is it to roll out looking fly and dressed to the nines at night in Nairobi? Is it safe to dress up and walk at night?

How do you go about knowing which girl is a pro and which isn't. I imagine the bars would be full of them. How do you weed this out?

In the early evening (7-11 pm), I'd say it's pretty safe. Major buildings (which CBD is full of) have security guards, and the main streets are all well-lighted and just enough crowded (crowded enough that no one could possibly attack you or try to rob you, yet not so crowded to allow for pickpocketing). After that, it's really random. Personally, I wouldn't recommend walking between clubs at 2 am trying to find a better place. Get a taxi, even if it's a 10 minute walk.

If you're staying at a hotel in CBD (I found Hilton CBD to be nice and in a solid location, but there are many good hotels both there and in Westlands) and it's very close to a club, you won't need taxis, but in general if you've had a good experience with a taxi driver, be sure to lock him down and use him in the future. It's a lot more reliable having a few stable numbers you can call up anytime.

I never dressed to the nines though. Heck, I didn't even bring a suit or more than one dress shirt. But I did see plenty of suited up people (usually more often locals then foreigners - they like to impress and even working class people are proud of having something nice).

I think the main indicator of a pro girl would be that she is out alone or even spending a long time alone in a bar (i.e. waiting to be solicited). Also, that she is aggressive (not letting you escalate on your own pace) and that she doesn't like talking about what exactly she does for a living (most girls either study, work or both).

But to be fair, I am not a club person so this is somewhat observational. I strongly prefer day game and online game.

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08-26-2015 07:04 AM
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Post: #21
RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
Oh, and a word of warning - unless a street is very safe and sparsely populated, don't ever take out and use your phone, especially not while walking. Snatch-and-run is a real thing - I have never seen it myself, but plenty of people that I know and trust did.

"Imagine" by HCE | Hitler reacts to Battle of Montreal | An alternative use for squid that has never crossed your mind before
08-26-2015 08:22 AM
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Post: #22
RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
--

"Only time, a woman made a man a millionaire, was when that man was a former billionaire" - Royce da 5'9
(This post was last modified: 02-14-2016 10:53 AM by Joga Bonito.)
08-26-2015 09:16 AM
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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
--

"Only time, a woman made a man a millionaire, was when that man was a former billionaire" - Royce da 5'9
(This post was last modified: 02-14-2016 10:52 AM by Joga Bonito.)
08-26-2015 09:16 AM
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Post: #24
RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
Nice datasheet HCE. What are your thoughts of travelling from Nairobi north into Ethiopia? Is it possible by reasonable public transport? Is it advisable? And then further north through Sudan to Egypt. I have a vague desire to travel from Cape Town to Cairo overland, but have heard that you run into deep logistical problems and safety issues as soon as you hit northern Kenya.
08-26-2015 11:32 AM
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RE: Nairobi, Kenya [Datasheet]
(08-26-2015 11:32 AM)Bad Hussar Wrote:  Nice datasheet HCE. What are your thoughts of travelling from Nairobi north into Ethiopia? Is it possible by reasonable public transport? Is it advisable? And then further north through Sudan to Egypt. I have a vague desire to travel from Cape Town to Cairo overland, but have heard that you run into deep logistical problems and safety issues as soon as you hit northern Kenya.


It's possible..... I know a couple people that have done it. One within the last month went from Nairobi to Cairo. Think it took him 6 weeks.

From everyone I've talked with the biggest problem is actually getting the Sudan visa. Once that is secured the trip is possible for the adventurous.
08-26-2015 11:39 AM
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