I'm Touring The United States! Starting in June, I'm conducting private events in 23 American cities. Click here for full details.

Post Reply 
Touching a girl on a date?
Author Message
Iso Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 513
Joined: Mar 2015
Reputation: 7
Post: #1
Touching a girl on a date?
I read a lot about how kino is very important. Looking back at my failures I realized that I didn't touch the girl much. How long are you waiting to touch a girl? What situations are you touching her? Where? I would love to see examples of your kino and a breakdown of it.
11-06-2015 12:22 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
LA Savage Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 163
Joined: Sep 2015
Reputation: 11
Post: #2
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
You are asking for too much. Every girl responds to touch differently so there is no right answer for every situation. You just have to adjust your level of touching based on how receptive she is. I always establish touch by introducing myself and either shaking her hand and holdong it, or straight up going for the hug just because I can because I know I have little to lose and a lot to gain by doing that. If you could post an example of situations that you missed opportunities to touch a girl then post ot and I can try to help you out. But just understand touching a girl aggressively and escalating sexually will work in a nightclub where girls are acting slutty but touching a girl in a similar fashion at school will bring trouble your way.

Bacchus Wrote:  Your goal is sex, not a phone number. Numbers are worthless.
They are the lotto tickets of game.
They might occasionally produce a winner, but don't count on it.

If you are in Los Angeles and want to link up with me
and/or other members to do some approaches please contact me.Thanks.
11-06-2015 02:23 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes LA Savage's post:
Built to Fade
Advi Offline
Male Feminist

Posts: 5
Joined: Oct 2015
Reputation: 0
Post: #3
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
Exactly, it's not a rule. You have to look at her reaction when you are getting closer, you will know if she wonts or not
11-06-2015 02:26 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Advi's post:
Built to Fade
Virtus Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,723
Joined: Mar 2012
Reputation: 14
Post: #4
RE: Touching a girl on a date?

"Virtus"
11-06-2015 02:37 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Virtus's post:
Built to Fade
Hairz Offline
Game Denialist

Posts: 55
Joined: Sep 2015
Reputation: 0
Post: #5
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
Depends on her body language and IOIs. If she's sitting with crossed legs or arms or standing sideways towards you it's probably better not to. If she's open and chatty or flirty you can use any excuse. Stuff like "nice hair how much did you pay for the extensions?" While touching it. She's gonna be like "noooo they're real!". Ofc the girl must be in the correct mood and you must've had a positive reaction from her. Another example could be just grabbing her hand and saying "I'll show you something" and tingle her inner wrist area and ask how it feels. Or if she says some thing silly just caress her upper arm and say like "ooh you behave like m little niece".

Make sure you do it naturally, last thing you wanna do is come across as fake or uncomfortable when doing it. Start off small and slowly like a pat on her arm when she says funny stuff. If she's receptive then you need o escalate. No point patting her on the arm 10 times. Say you change venue then take her under the arm etc. With practice you'll learn to gage it. If you're awkward about touching women then join dance classes like salsa.
11-06-2015 06:27 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Hairz's post:
Built to Fade, Cumlluminates
WestIndianArchie Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 7,820
Joined: Oct 2010
Reputation: 344
Post: #6
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
(11-06-2015 12:22 AM)Iso Wrote:  I read a lot about how kino is very important. Looking back at my failures I realized that I didn't touch the girl much. How long are you waiting to touch a girl? What situations are you touching her? Where? I would love to see examples of your kino and a breakdown of it.

I'm not waiting.

After I get the #
1. establishing a line of communication via text
2. I hug her when I greet her, put my hand on her back to guide her inside, ask about her day
3. we chat
4. I steer the conversation towards something physical, then I
- you have pretty small hands *put my hands up to measure, she puts her hands up*
- *thumb wrestle*
- I had a feeling about you, lemme read your palm

Depending on the date, dinner or drinks this is pretty easy.

If she comes at me with a handshake, I cup her hand with both of mine, and hold it a second or two longer than usual.

If I wanted to go play miniature golf, pool, darts, or something more physical - then I will go into "coach mode".

I will always put my hand on the small of her back to guide her through the crowd.

If I make a joke, I might sort of elbow her upper arm.

If the date is going well, I will offer my arm, so that she can hold on to.

I will "gentleman" it up a bit, and help her from her chair.

In general, you can't be afraid of putting your hands on her.

If you want to play it even more cool, and you're watching a movie (either at the theater or netflix and chill) - knee touches knee, thigh touches thigh.

If you want to take it up a notch, and she's happy to see you from jump, twirl her like you would on the dance floor. (and if she twirls counter to the direction she should go call her on it)

What I'm not doing
- I'm not trying to HOLD her hand.
- playing "grab ass"

But if you're a horseplay kind of person, later on in the date, do that - and bring back a sort of "tag" vibe.

All the while, you're also leading, getting compliance, flirting verbally.
I can't do one without the other.

WIA
11-06-2015 06:57 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 19 users Like WestIndianArchie's post:
Moma, coverdoc, Handsome Creepy Eel, SirTimothy, Kaii, DJ-Matt, silviophonic, JayD, Mess O., AneroidOcean, getdownonit, Kizman, BigTony, Built to Fade, Alpone, Cumlluminates, Hazaer, Polniy_Sostav, EwartGrogan
NewMeta Offline
Wingman
Silver Member

Posts: 636
Joined: Aug 2015
Reputation: 26
Post: #7
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
If its a drinks date and they are wearing a dress or skirt I always make a point to sit beside them, grab her hand and then the inside of her thigh soon after. That is only if I get the vibe that she's loosened up from a drink or 2 and actually enjoying herself.

With enough confidence and feel of the situation you can get away with plenty, experiment and see what kind of reactions you get.
11-06-2015 08:23 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes NewMeta's post:
Built to Fade
Indy Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 109
Joined: Apr 2015
Reputation: 1
Post: #8
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
Irregardless of how I met a girl, I always hug and kiss her on the cheek after a quick hello and leave my hand on the small of her back and lead her in to the first venue. So, within thirty seconds I've already broken the touch barrier.

My go to spot in any venue is a couch, bench or barstools where there are no physical barriers. If tables are the only options, pull your chair next to hers after an exchange and cite the loudness as the reason why.

After that, just keep building comfort by touching her when she says something funny or you've just told a joke or said something witty that made her laugh.

If done right, she'll start reciprocating after a few drinks and your hands should then be permanently affixed to one another. I'll disengage every so often as to not give out a creepy/desperate vibe and then engage again when the moment presents itself.

This has usually all happened at the first venue within an hour of meeting.

“I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.” (1 Timothy 2:12)
11-06-2015 10:07 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Indy's post:
Built to Fade
godzilla Offline
Alpha Male
****

Posts: 1,304
Joined: Mar 2015
Reputation: 35
Post: #9
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
(11-06-2015 12:22 AM)Iso Wrote:  I read a lot about how kino is very important. Looking back at my failures I realized that I didn't touch the girl much. How long are you waiting to touch a girl? What situations are you touching her? Where? I would love to see examples of your kino and a breakdown of it.

I think its important you figure out your own way that is natural for you. The less awkward (less forced) it is for you, the less awkward it will be for her. .... But ideally, you should do immediately. Recently, I purposely show up slighty early (this guarantees I chose my seat), I sit at the bar (sideways so she faces me), hug put my hand on her back, then when she sits and faces me, my hand will likely be on her knee.

As long as it feels natural for you, I dont think its important how you do it, just dont start petting her face or something dumb (i think this is obvious). Also you dont want to have to reach to do it, so make sure you sit close.
11-06-2015 12:24 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes godzilla's post:
Built to Fade
cosworth Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 180
Joined: Nov 2014
Reputation: 5
Post: #10
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
Just remember :
Guys who inappropriately touch a girl (but not in a creepy way ), get faaaaaaaaaaaar more than guys who don't !
11-09-2015 08:05 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes cosworth's post:
Built to Fade
Saweeep Offline
Banned

Posts: 3,541
Joined: Apr 2014
Post: #11
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
You should be touching her nonstop from the moment you meet her.

Mostly moving her about.

I do agree though that if this is done with any hint of a lack of confidence it will backfire.


"Just grab that bitch" is my attitude.
11-10-2015 07:05 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Saweeep's post:
duedue, Built to Fade
Oz. Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 1,570
Joined: Apr 2014
Reputation: 12
Post: #12
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
WIA is always spot on.

(11-15-2014 09:06 AM)Little Dark Wrote:  This thread is not going in the direction I was hoping for.
11-10-2015 08:34 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Oz.'s post:
Built to Fade
MikeS Offline
Alpha Male
****

Posts: 1,460
Joined: Aug 2014
Reputation: 8
Post: #13
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
(11-10-2015 07:05 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  You should be touching her nonstop from the moment you meet her.

Mostly moving her about.

I do agree though that if this is done with any hint of a lack of confidence it will backfire.

"Just grab that bitch" is my attitude.

Depends entirely on the setting, the situation and your personality in my opinion. If in a bar or a club, sure, that's probably a good baseline attitude.
If it's a more relaxed daytime or evening dinner for a walk, a couple of drinks, whatever, and maybe even some good conversation (I tend to end up on dates with mostly well educated and reasonably or sometimes very smart girls - not always a good thing for sure), trying to constantly attempt to be in a position to "casually" or not so casually touch her will probably backfire for a whole lot of men in many situations (I absolutely feel like I overdid it on "kino" during many dates, and so evidently did most of the girls, when I was new to dating and semi-mechanically trying to test out all the things I had been reading about).
Even with confidence and practice consistent touching throughout some types of dates will just feel out of place for those situations.

I think a daygamer like Krauser has said - though it was quite a while ago, don't know if his methods have changed - that he uses very little kino at all, during initial meets as well as typical dates, until (paraphrasing) the girls are at his place and ready to fuck.

Personally on a first date (haven't got a first date bang yet here in Bulgaria, seems like most girls hold out for second or third) I stick to occasional light casual or leading touches during dates, escalating if things go well to eg. asking them to give me their hand (along with some silly verbal teasing or irrelevant reason for it - talking is what I do best, and mostly without much thought) and then some more intimate touching and eventually kissing and some very light making out near the end if things go well.
11-10-2015 09:52 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes MikeS's post:
Built to Fade
duedue Offline
Banned

Posts: 661
Joined: May 2014
Post: #14
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
Basically you should be naturally comfortable with her body. Better to sit next to her than in front of her. Troy Francis has written a lot about this on ROK.
11-14-2015 11:05 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes duedue's post:
Built to Fade
bootyhuntah Offline
Chubby Chaser
**
Gold Member

Posts: 334
Joined: Oct 2014
Reputation: 32
Post: #15
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
Lots of good suggestions in here. Definitely agree about touching early and often. Guiding her by touching her lower back to direct her to a table, chair, or barstool. Then pat the seat you would like her to sit in. It's always preferred in a sitting-down environment to sit next to her as opposed to across from her, which makes it much easier to initiate or continue more touching. If you are walking on the sidewalk, move her to the inside of the curb away from traffic by guiding her shoulder with your hand while you take her place. Sometimes I grab both of her shoulders from behind and just physically move her to my other side. If she asks what you are doing, usually I just say, "I like being on this side," smile, and change the subject.

Also, if this is congruent for you, check out hand massage. It's a technique I use consistently with a lot of my first dates and has yielded good results over the years. While thumb wrestling can surely be fun, this doesn't suit everyone's personality. The hand massage can be effective both for people who are more high-energy as well as those like myself who run a more relaxed, low-energy style of game.

Latin American Coffee Guide
-What other people think of you is none of your business.
11-15-2015 09:22 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like bootyhuntah's post:
Built to Fade, Cumlluminates
Alpone Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 222
Joined: Feb 2015
Reputation: 15
Post: #16
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
Old thread but a good one. I've had a string of dates this year and found touching within the first half hour is a good predictor of success and a good litmus test of my attraction towards a girl. If I don't subconsciously try to touch her during that time, I know it's done and she probably knows it too. Most girls know you're not interested if you don't directly or 'accidentally' touch them at the beginning of a first date.

I've also had a few dates where due to logistics/full bars we had to sit at a table facing each other. This is a horrible situation and puts people into interview mode. I try to avoid this at all costs now - even if it means sitting at crowded bars where people can overhear our convo or going to shitty venues that at least have booths.
06-17-2019 08:43 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like Alpone's post:
eradicator, 456, Cumlluminates, DJ-Matt
fmman Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 156
Joined: Jul 2014
Reputation: 1
Post: #17
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
I had a date when it was the girl I met that was full on physical touchy from the word go. ie, as soon as we had met and got into the pub it was HER that was initiating, her hands were reaching across the table to mine she was quite obviously up for it. We were sitting opposite each other across a big table from each other. All that stuff about sitting next to her i think makes you look desperate, so I don't seek out to do it. Yes I did bang her within about 3 hours from that point.

Was a one nighter though
(This post was last modified: 06-18-2019 04:24 PM by fmman.)
06-18-2019 04:21 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
ArloDash Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 108
Joined: Jul 2017
Reputation: 9
Post: #18
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
(11-06-2015 12:22 AM)Iso Wrote:  I read a lot about how kino is very important. Looking back at my failures I realized that I didn't touch the girl much. How long are you waiting to touch a girl? What situations are you touching her? Where? I would love to see examples of your kino and a breakdown of it.

You need to read Bang. Why haven't you read Bang?
06-18-2019 04:25 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
wwtl Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 126
Joined: May 2019
Reputation: 0
Post: #19
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
(06-18-2019 04:25 PM)ArloDash Wrote:  You need to read Bang. Why haven't you read Bang?

It's out of print. Big Grin
06-18-2019 11:15 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Atomic Lush Offline
Game Denialist

Posts: 49
Joined: Apr 2016
Reputation: 0
Post: #20
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
06-19-2019 10:47 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Cumlluminates Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 353
Joined: Aug 2017
Reputation: 1
Post: #21
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
(11-15-2015 09:22 AM)bootyhuntah Wrote:  Also, if this is congruent for you, check out hand massage. It's a technique I use consistently with a lot of my first dates and has yielded good results over the years. While thumb wrestling can surely be fun, this doesn't suit everyone's personality. The hand massage can be effective both for people who are more high-energy as well as those like myself who run a more relaxed, low-energy style of game.

An interesting technique that I should learn.

Tom Leykis / Leykis 101:

-Never do what you don't want to do. You make the money, you decide where you are going and what you are doing.
-Don't ask a woman what she wants to do.
-Never get involved with a co-worker unless you don't mind losing your job over it.
-Never spend more than $40 on a date. If possible, let her pay for everything or 50/50.
-If she doesn't bang you by the third date, Dump That Bitch (DTB).
-No spooning, cuddling, hugging, or staying over. Get in, get out!
-Never be in a committed relationship UNTIL you are 25+ or really ready to settle down.
-Men age like fine wine, women age like milk.
(This post was last modified: 07-10-2019 02:20 AM by Cumlluminates.)
07-10-2019 02:20 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
UlugBeg Offline
Game Denialist

Posts: 58
Joined: Dec 2018
Reputation: 0
Post: #22
RE: Touching a girl on a date?
I’ve only recently upped my kino escalation. Made s huge difference in closing success.
07-13-2019 04:48 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  third date: girl brings friends/guy friend heman29 67 26,237 05-09-2019 01:44 PM
Last Post: Ronzo
  Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far? Heuristics 26 2,110 01-25-2019 12:43 PM
Last Post: kaotic
  How long after the SECOND date should I text for 3RD date Treatmentgroup 10 9,930 04-11-2018 11:16 AM
Last Post: Catch 22

Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | RooshV.com | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication