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How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
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Anabasis to Desta Away
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Post: #1
How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
You know the type.

Always trying to come off as proper, politically correct, passive aggressive, weak yet very socially skilled like women.

I have no respect for these type of men and they've always hated me too. But in the new city i moved to there seem to be a lot of these.

You can't confront them directly without coming off like either a maniac or extremely sensitive because their jabs at you are small but frequent ... kind of like how a girlfriend keep testing your patience through small stabs of deliberate behavior and when you finally explode after months of that shit, you are the bad guy.

Check out this short Mike Tyson interview where he curses out the faggot interviewer





Forward to 1:00 and notice how the interviewer "innocently" & slyly dropped how "some of his critics might say he's a convicted rapist".

When Mike exploded on him, he was all like "who me?".

Same thing happened to me yesterday at dinner. This guy who works with a girl I'm banging "innocently" mentioned how i got fired from my job last month.

First off, I didn't! I got laid off but the fact that he mentioned that infront of a group of 8 people really pissed me off. But i could not say anything about it because the way he said it seemed so innocent and even concerned about my well being to the casual observer.

It's clear to me that he likes the girl and it was an attempt on his part to lower my value.

I really don't give a fuck about this situation in specific but how do you guys deal with men like the ones in the Mike Tyson video and the guy i described?
(This post was last modified: 11-18-2015 01:15 PM by Anabasis to Desta.)
11-18-2015 12:52 PM
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RE: How to deal with beta passive aggressive guys like this?
Actually I think Mike handled it perfectly when he called him a "Piece of shit" right on live TV. Call that shit out

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11-18-2015 01:02 PM
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OregonToSoCal Offline
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
This video made my day! Tyson calmly called him out and wouldn't let the interviewer sweep it under the rug. He never raised his voice and his body language stayed calm and relaxed.

I still have the limiting and outdated belief that confronting someone on their bad behavior means I need to get angry, worked up and raise my voice. It's that behavior that makes someone look like the out of control one. But calmly calling someone out like Mike did is perfect.
11-18-2015 01:48 PM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #4
RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
Simply correct the guy who said you were fired, looking him directly in the eye as you do it.

or laugh about it and correct him, then amog him with a joke about how he's next on the chopping block

In your situation getting pissed in front of a group won't do you any good. (well it depends on the group you're with)

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(This post was last modified: 11-18-2015 02:02 PM by kaotic.)
11-18-2015 01:53 PM
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Days of Broken Arrows Offline
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Post: #5
RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
Reframe and expose:

"Oh I get it, you're a newbie journalist trying to make a name for yourself, so you have to bring up controversial things."

After he responds, just push it further: "I hear the moon landings might not have happened either -- maybe you'd like to discuss that?"

I've seen this work in print. Back in the classic rock era, there were three artists in particular who were very skilled at flipping the script this way and putting the interviewer on the defensive: Lou Reed, Frank Zappa, and Gene Simmons.

Sometimes Reed and Zappa would do things like this even when they weren't confronted, so they'd be the dominant voice in the interviews. Zappa once castigated a writer for taking his liner notes too seriously; Reed once called an interviewer an outsider who would "never be invited to anything cool" if he wasn't a journalist.
(This post was last modified: 11-18-2015 01:59 PM by Days of Broken Arrows.)
11-18-2015 01:59 PM
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Post: #6
RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
Give us more context.

I once had a comedian try and AMOG me for being short -

"Can you see over the railing?"
"You tell jokes for a living? That's pretty funny."

I'm kind of a dick and will find their weak trait, and then respond with something like "You're pretty funny for a fat guy."

Though chances are your girl wasn't listening or didn't give a shit.
11-18-2015 02:12 PM
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Vaun Offline
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
Think about what Mike was there to do, promote his show. There is an unspoken agreement with the media that he is there, making an appearance on their pissant little TV station, and then this guy is going to mess with Mike. You could see the automatic disappointment on Mikes face, like what the hell, I just did these guys a huge favor. Well, he trashed their show with vulgarity, amplified the situation, and ultimately brought more attention to his event in Toronto. I'd be willing to bet he sold more tickets to the event after that. Lesson learned, agree and amplify, make their assertion a ridiculous spectacle, dont ever grin and bear it. Unless of course its your boss, but thats really your call there.
(This post was last modified: 11-18-2015 02:16 PM by Vaun.)
11-18-2015 02:16 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
(11-18-2015 01:48 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  This video made my day! Tyson calmly called him out and wouldn't let the interviewer sweep it under the rug. He never raised his voice and his body language stayed calm and relaxed.

I still have the limiting and outdated belief that confronting someone on their bad behavior means I need to get angry, worked up and raise my voice. It's that behavior that makes someone look like the out of control one. But calmly calling someone out like Mike did is perfect.

I think he reacted the right way. In his old days, he probably would have gotten physical, started yelling, or both.
11-18-2015 02:21 PM
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Post: #9
RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
(11-18-2015 12:52 PM)Anabasis to Desta Wrote:  First off, I didn't! I got laid off but the fact that he mentioned that infront of a group of 8 people really pissed me off.

Should you really be going to dinner with friends of a girl you're already banging?

Let them do their beta shit as long as she comes home to you afterwards.

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(This post was last modified: 11-18-2015 02:29 PM by the Thing.)
11-18-2015 02:29 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
Perhaps you should have rolled with it used the opportunity to DHV. Girls like bad boys, and there is always an interesting story behind getting fired. Getting laid off sounds... lame.
11-18-2015 02:56 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
(11-18-2015 02:56 PM)Alpha_Romeo Wrote:  Perhaps you should have rolled with it used the opportunity to DHV. Girls like bad boys, and there is always an interesting story behind getting fired. Getting laid off sounds... lame.


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11-18-2015 03:04 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
WWTD?

What would trump do?

Take care of those titties for me.
11-18-2015 03:11 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
1) Taking a shot at the throne is alpha behavior.

So you gotta respond like a king and crush him.

I've been in these situations at work.

Hold on Josh, what did you say, please repeat it.

That's not what happened, but Josh were you trying to hurt my feelings? Make me feel low?

Were you just making conversation? Is that your idea of conversation, just talking about people's business all reckless? Is that the kind of friend you are.

Were you trying to make more look bad in front of our friends?

Don't try to play this off Josh, tell us all how you feel about me?

I see your fists balling up,
Your eyes are squinting though..
Are you going to attack me now?

You don't know what to do now, do you?____________________

Keep going into his motivation. Most men can't handle a verbal dismantling.

If you got dirt on him, or if you have the stomach to get dirty.

"Is this about Stacy? We're all just friends here, I'm not pursuing her. "

"We were all having such a good time Josh, why did you ruin it?"

Thing is, i learned a lot about arguments and communications over the years. Group and individual psychology comes with learning game, if you push yourself.

Guys that don't learn how to neg properly or home in on insecurities and vulnerabilities can't ever be alpha or dark triad.

2) Also, if a dude thinks he can come at you girly mouthed you need to get in the gym.

WIA

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11-18-2015 03:21 PM
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Post: #14
RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
Take the low road and send a couple smart remarks back at him. Just make sure they're funny and everyone hears them.
11-18-2015 03:29 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
There's no way that a person is going to say inaccurate things about me in my presence without me correcting them. This can always be done without getting angry or being aggressive but it does need to be dealt with as soon as it happens. It doesn't matter how innocent the mistake is or what the motivation is, you want to control your narrative not let someone else do it.
11-18-2015 03:33 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
(11-18-2015 03:33 PM)BassPlayaYo Wrote:  There's no way that a person is going to say inaccurate things about me in my presence without me correcting them. This can always be done without getting angry or being aggressive but it does need to be dealt with as soon as it happens. It doesn't matter how innocent the mistake is or what the motivation is, you want to control your narrative not let someone else do it.

Tyson is a convicted rapist. The problem wasn't that the guy said something which was false or inaccurate. The problem is that it was a really low blow bringing up something like that during an interview which was completely unrelated, especially when the incident, even if it was true, happened decades ago when Tyson was in his twenties or whatever.
11-18-2015 03:42 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
(11-18-2015 03:21 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  1) Taking a shot at the throne is alpha behavior.

So you gotta respond like a king and crush him.

I've been in these situations at work.

Hold on Josh, what did you say, please repeat it.

That's not what happened, but Josh were you trying to hurt my feelings? Make me feel low?

Were you just making conversation? Is that your idea of conversation, just talking about people's business all reckless? Is that the kind of friend you are.

Were you trying to make more look bad in front of our friends?

Don't try to play this off Josh, tell us all how you feel about me?

I see your fists balling up,
Your eyes are squinting though..
Are you going to attack me now?

You don't know what to do now, do you?____________________

Keep going into his motivation. Most men can't handle a verbal dismantling.

If you got dirt on him, or if you have the stomach to get dirty.

"Is this about Stacy? We're all just friends here, I'm not pursuing her. "

"We were all having such a good time Josh, why did you ruin it?"

Thing is, i learned a lot about arguments and communications over the years. Group and individual psychology comes with learning game, if you push yourself.

Guys that don't learn how to neg properly or home in on insecurities and vulnerabilities can't ever be alpha or dark triad.

2) Also, if a dude thinks he can come at you girly mouthed you need to get in the gym.

WIA

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11-18-2015 03:45 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
(11-18-2015 03:42 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  
(11-18-2015 03:33 PM)BassPlayaYo Wrote:  There's no way that a person is going to say inaccurate things about me in my presence without me correcting them. This can always be done without getting angry or being aggressive but it does need to be dealt with as soon as it happens. It doesn't matter how innocent the mistake is or what the motivation is, you want to control your narrative not let someone else do it.

Tyson is a convicted rapist. The problem wasn't that the guy said something which was false or inaccurate. The problem is that it was a really low blow bringing up something like that during an interview which was completely unrelated, especially when the incident, even if it was true, happened decades ago when Tyson was in his twenties or whatever.

I'm not commenting on Tyson, I'm speaking specifically to the OP's situation.
11-18-2015 03:48 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
Just reframe whatever he says. The only dilemma here is to decide how hard to diss him. Example..

- [This guy "innocently" mentions how you got fired from my job last month]
- Oh hello what happened to that nice guy inside you? yeah i had to do it, i made them fire me for a good story and look it works, you got something to gossip about like a girl, thank me later boy [pat him on his back].

Something like that. The rule is to attach different meaning to whatever he says about you in a way that he looks stupid. Everything can be reframed. Someone can say that you got small dick and you go "you feel nothing cause your ass hole is too wide, i'm breaking up with you" Amuse..
11-18-2015 03:48 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
(11-18-2015 03:21 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  2) Also, if a dude thinks he can come at you girly mouthed you need to get in the gym.

WIA

Maybe in places like D.C., Latin America, Miami, and Manhattan. In New Jersey and Philadelphia, and to a lesser extent, Southern California, you can expect that very often no matter how you look.
11-18-2015 03:55 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
Agree and amplify? >> I banged my boss' wife. It was worth it.
11-18-2015 05:09 PM
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RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
WIA nails it again.

The idea is to call him out on his bullshit in a non-emotional, non-confrontational manner.

My usual reply is 'Why are you being so passive-aggressive dude? Are you scared to say what you really want to say?'.

In your situation, I'd do one of the following:

Go playful, but mess with him:
a) 'Thanks for the reminder man. Do you have a little journal where you write about my life? Because I lost my spare keys yesterday and you might have it written down on your little diary.'

or go verbally aggressive, but say it in an impassioned tone:

b)'Why are trying to put me down? Do you think I forgot I got laid off? or do you think [chick's name] will think you're sexy for doing that?'
And demand an answer. He'll try and laugh it off, but just tell him to answer to question or stop laughing and talking.

I tend to go with option B.

Passive-aggressiveness is for the fearful and insecure. If you show him that you won't put up with his girly bullshit, he will kiss your ass for the rest of the day. Just don't forgive him for it.
(This post was last modified: 11-18-2015 07:20 PM by xpatplayer.)
11-18-2015 07:18 PM
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Post: #23
RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
I laughed hysterically at that Tyson clip! Fuck that host for slipping in such a cheap jab.
11-18-2015 08:40 PM
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Post: #24
RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
Tyson has some other suggestions if interested, press play.




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11-18-2015 09:15 PM
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Video RE: How to deal with Beta Passive Aggressive guys like this?
2:22



11-18-2015 10:55 PM
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