Read The Forum Rules: We have a clear set of rules to keep the forum running smoothly. Click here to review them.

Post Reply 
Another depression thread
Author Message
xpatplayer Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 710
Joined: Nov 2013
Reputation: 15
Post: #26
RE: Another depression thread
I've been seeing a lot of depression threads lately.

Here's what worked for me and a few other friends on ADD medication - go to a new psychiatrist, tell him that you can't concentrate on work for some unknown reason, and that your attention keeps drifting. They'll diagnose you with ADD or ADHD. When they say you'll need medication, ask them for something that lasts throughout the whole day, since you want to avoid Ritalin. You'll either get extended release Adderall or Vyvanse.

Why getting on amphetamines works - your dopamine and seratonin levels shoot up when you ingest amphetamines. Depression is essentially caused by under-production of these hormones. Therefore, the amphetamines will counteract it.

Another advantage of taking amphetamines - they make you want to take action. You'll join organizations, reconnect with old friends, thereby giving yourself new meaning. Once you're off them, you will have found something that gives your life some meaning.

Under no circumstances would I suggest telling your shrink that you fell depressed. This will lead them to prescribe SSRIs, which make you dependent. I have friends who are on SSRIs, and they've become batshit insane.

Just my 2-cents based on my personal experience. I'm no doctor, so you may want to take it with a grain of salt.

And while you're depressed, make a list of cool things that you haven't done yet (ex. gone on a Safari in Botswana). I went through a terrible phase of depression last year, and would have either become a NEET in my parents' basement or offed myself if it wasn't for the list I made. Even without medication of any sort, it gives you something to live for. Its essentially the artillery for your war against depression.

Edit: Keep in mind that it is a temporary phase. You are a phoenix, and this depression is the fire. You will emerge anew after this episode. And while suicidal ideation is a terrible thing, losing it will make you appreciate life. Keep this poem on your mind at all times.
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2015 01:27 PM by xpatplayer.)
12-07-2015 01:20 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes xpatplayer's post:
2Wycked
swfter2456 Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 38
Joined: Oct 2011
Reputation: 0
Post: #27
RE: Another depression thread
(12-06-2015 10:55 PM)RioNomad Wrote:  I should have read your original post closer.

I have also had some pretty bad depression the past year or so. Something I never experienced before on this level. I have very low energy these days, but it's getting better. For a while I was sleeping until 2-4PM and had no energy to wake up. Showering, cutting my hair, etc. were all exhausting. It would take me 2-3 hours to shit, shower and shave. I was fucking miserable, and I didn't even hardly realize it. I'd never had depression like that before. Now several months later I can tell looking back that mentally I was pretty fucked up for months on end. Maybe even a year. It takes a while to snap out of it, but I'm doing much better now.

My non-doctor opinion is that diet, exercise, sunlight, and lifestyle can fix a lot. I am extremely wary of any medications for depression. I'm uneducated in this, but most depressed people I know are on meds, and they are still fucked in the head. None of them exercise or change their lifestyle, and it doesn't seem like their doctors push them to. They just give them pills with side effects and then give them more pills to combat those side effects. Fucking madness.

A few things that have helped me.

1. Go to bed and wake up at a set time. This is still a struggle for me, but I find going to bed earlier and waking up earlier has helped me a lot. It takes time though. The more depressed I was the harder it was to do, but eventually I was able to start doing it.

2. Stop drinking. I have cut way back on my drinking and I think it helps. When I drink I get hungover, lay around all day, eat like shit, and it throws off my sleep and everything for several days.

3. Eat healthier. My diet always has a huge effect on my mental state. Start eating at more regular times. When I was really depressed I wouldn't eat for hours and hours and I'd get sleepy and low energy and headaches and it was fucking me up. Eat 3 square meals per day.

4. Morning cardio. I've only been doing this for a few days, but it's definitely making me feel good. Force yourself to go to the gym and do even just 20 minutes on an exercise bike. Throw in your headphones and listen to some music that pumps you up, or some audiobooks that are motivational for you.

Get some help man. Find a forum that specializes in this stuff. Preferably not a forum filled with people eating pills like they are candy.

My diet has gone to shit last few months. Let me rephrase that, I've had periods where I've eaten healthy, then there are periods where I've eaten like Im sick, eg either nothing or everything. I don't drink, I sleep too much, and I've forced myself to run lately but honestly have just felt like shit during and after.

(12-06-2015 11:46 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  What is the source of your depression?

Please be brutally honest with yourself and with us. What is it that deep down inside you want but don't have, and don't believe you can have? What is the specifuc thing or things you are missing? Don't shut out any of the answers you suspect.

Then post it here.

I'm isolated as fuck, I have no one in my life. I've done all these things and been told I have an awesome life yet am still miserable.

(12-07-2015 01:18 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  ^ I agree with OP that that is shithouse advice. Damn, if I believed that life was about suffering I'd probably consider offing myself too.

Depression is a signal that you're doing something wrong in your life, or failing to do something fundamental. Thus its boldily purpose is to compel you to rectify that.

Note the very action of the OP - depressed people often go online and ask these questions to help discover the path out of their depression, and they often post background information to help others with their suggestions. Frankly, saying "just accept that life is suffering" is absolutely disgusting.

Exiting depression is not a medical issue, as OP has become aware. Doctors like to treat it as such because of their pervasive moral failings.

Exiting depression is a case of either discovering the root cause of the depression (through introspection and asking others etc) and then fixing, attaining or dismantling that; or it is a case of just making massive life changes in attempt to re-land in a better place.

Isolated as hell. I'm going online and getting cliche advice, I went to get professional help and I don't think it was helpful at all, has just made me worse.

(12-07-2015 01:24 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  Are you drinking alcohol? for some people,even moderate amounts of alcohol even one or two a day can really depress mood.

Also get full workups from medical, certain types of illnesses, thyroid problems can cause depression. There are more extensive tests for thyroid than the usual, like five variables rather than two, I forget.

I don't drink. I had thryoid tests like over a year ago and everything fine.

(12-07-2015 02:52 AM)Cr33pin Wrote:  
(12-06-2015 10:51 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  The gym stuff has never worked for me in regards to making friends. I've gotten to the point where I've gotten friendly with people and nothing has ever come out of it.

Na bruh..... the gym is not for making friends, the gym is for making gainz.

Gainz make everything better. Get enough gainz and you dont need no fucking friends.. you just kick it with your biceps.

Yeah, it's been one of my goals when I settle down for a few months. I've had some hip issues that have prevented me in the past, but it's hard as hell when you're traveling.

(12-07-2015 05:28 AM)Sweet Pea Wrote:  In which country are you located right now?

US

(12-07-2015 05:51 AM)Anabasis to Desta Wrote:  
(12-06-2015 06:15 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  I dropped my psychiatrist and meds, as a result my psychologist dropped me. Currently not seeing anyone and don't even know how to get better. I've accomplished a lot in life, lost weight, traveled the world, put money in the bank, but never really was happy. I've been a nomad for four years and the more I traveled the more isolated I felt. After a while focusing on interactions that would only result in a short term friendships didn't feel worth the effort. I did daygame for a while but was never really successful, also don't think a bunch of quick hook ups will solve anything.

What else can I do at this point?


I totally understand being tired of putting in the effort into short term friendships and hookups.

OP a lot of times we tend to glorify & romanticize travelling to exotic spots, sex with beautiful women and the whole international jet-setter lifestyle. I've personally found it very enjoyable in small doses.

But you can't put a price on having some good friends you've known for years showing up at your door unannounced with a 12 pack & a bottle of Glenlivet on a Wednesday. Or the warm embrace of a girl who truly loves you. Or just the simplicity of it all.

Partying and banging my way through Europe was supposed to fun. But strangely, i felt lonely & profoundly depressed while all alone in a hotel room near downtown Bratislava after 4 months of travelling alone and no social contact besides other travelers and drunk people at clubs. In contrast, the happiest & most content I've been in my life was right after college when i had an okay paying job, my best friends and whole social circle from college (& some from HS) and a girl i loved. Being loved and having people around that care about you does wonders for your mental health.

How about downsizing?

Like replacing random hookups for a steady girlfriend. Getting a solid group of friends or re-kindling some old friendships. Reach out to some old friends you might have lost contact with.

That's what I'm trying to do right now. I'm looking for a place for 3-4 months. Unfortunately no furnished rentals here and signing a lease then furnishing is proving to be really complicated for me because it's something i've never done add on to the fact I can't accomplish anything every day.

I've been doing this non stop for several years, I really don't know anything else. Right now i've been going form sublet to sublet just laying in bed all day.

Also, I have no idea how to get a GF or a steady group of friends. It's part of the reason I kept traveling. When you meet other travelers they are open to being friendly, when you meet locals I find they are more closed off.

(12-07-2015 11:11 AM)birthday cat Wrote:  One problem with asking for depression advice on a Internet forum is that there will be many recommendations. Clinically depressed people typically have very low energy and motivation as the OP has described. The depressed person barely has enough energy to make a few small changes in their life so the large quantity of recommendations can be overwhelming and make things worse rather than making things better.

So my advice to the OP is pick something to work on but don't pick everything. Focus on taking action but don't overwhelm yourself by trying to take action on too many things at once.

(12-07-2015 01:18 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  Depression is a signal that you're doing something wrong in your life, or failing to do something fundamental. Thus its boldily purpose is to compel you to rectify that.

Yup, no idea what to do

(12-06-2015 10:55 PM)RioNomad Wrote:  My non-doctor opinion is that diet, exercise, sunlight, and lifestyle can fix a lot.

I strongly agree with these statements. In my opinion, the biggest problem with viewing depression as a symptom of poor health and lifestyle habits which can be cured through health and lifestyle improvements is that this methodology doesn't work well with the recurring revenue business models of the psychiatry, psychology, and pharmaceutical industries. Some of the people in those industries might have good intentions but you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see that those industries are much more focused on recurring revenue than on the welfare of their customers.

I'm sure that some people's depression has roots in psychological traumas that will require more than health and lifestyle improvements to treat. However, it seems logical that these problems will be easier to treat in a person whose brain is functioning optimally due to proper sleep, nutrition, exercise, social engagement, exposure to sunlight and fresh air, etc.

Check out the book "The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs" by Stephen Ilardi who is a psychology PhD and researcher. He also has some short videos on youtube which summarize his approach to using drugs as somewhat of a last resort for depression treatment.


I've tried that and didnt' work. Had like months in one city where I was working out, getting out, and I was still depressed.

(12-07-2015 01:02 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  
(12-07-2015 05:49 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  That depends on the type of depression. If you're going through a rough patch in life then, sure, exiting depression might be a matter of changing some things.

But some depression is, in fact, a medical issue.

The reason we know this is that the brains of people with chronic depression appear different when looked at on an fMRI. Specifically, the prefrontal cortex responds differently (more info here).

The brain is an organ, after all. The type of depression that alters its response means the brain has ceased to function correctly -- like the stomach that can really no longer break down food correctly. That means some people can't shake it off without some type of medical attention, just like they can't shake it off an ulcer.


Since we perceive the world with our brains, our perception of the world gets re-jigged when it's not working right. So it needs to be taken seriously and treated medically.

I agree with a lot of this but I’m not sure what you mean by “treated medically”. I think prescription drugs should be a very last resort. Perhaps 1% or less of people on those drugs should actually be on those drugs in my opinion.

You are correct that the brain is an organ. The brain's health responds to various factors such as sleep, nutrition, and exercise just like other organs. If you have good health habits then it is unlikely you will get that ulcer...or have mental health problems.

“The brains of people with chronic depression appear different when looked at on an fMRI” AND the brains of people with excellent health habits appear different when looked at on an fMRI. The brain’s physical structure can be altered by better sleep, nutrition, exercise, etc. It doesn't require a magic pill to alter the image of the brain in that fMRI. A good night's sleep, some green vegetables, exercise, or meditation will do more to alter the brain's physical structure in a positive way with fewer negative side effects than the magic pill.

For example, research has shown that short periods of regular meditation change the physical structure of the brain - less gray matter in the amygdala (lizard brain) and more gray matter in the pre-frontal cortex – see this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8rRzTtP7Tc starting at 3:30

Another issue relates to simple human psychology. People are comfort seeking and short-term thinking. People rationalize all the time. It is very common for people to rationalize that something isn’t their fault or isn’t within their control (depression or obesity being the result of genetics) rather than admitting to themselves that they are doing something wrong (poor health habits). So when you allow people to believe their problems could be due to genetics and fixed via magic pills then a huge percentage of these people will rationalize that pills are the answer when better health habits are really the answer.

The rationalization hamster is a bigger beast than most people realize. The mechanism that convinces western women that their bad behavior is never their fault is the same mechanism that convinces millions of people that their problems can be fixed by pills rather than better health habits.

Prescription drugs do not solve mental health problems. They only suppress symptoms. Better sleep solves problems. Better nutrition solves problems. Exercise solves problems. Meditation solves problems. I just don't understand the logic behind using prescription drugs before improving health habits when (1) prescription drugs have negative side effects but health habits don't and (2) prescription drugs only suppress symptoms but health habits can solve the problem.

I've gone through the meds to the point where my doctor said you tried everything and was recommending ECT (fuck no) Psychiatrists suck, they understate the effects of the pills you're taking and basically turn you into a guinea pig. Experimenting what works and what doesnt. I've gone to three and I feel they didn't even view me as a person but as a science experiment.
12-07-2015 02:12 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
swfter2456 Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 38
Joined: Oct 2011
Reputation: 0
Post: #28
RE: Another depression thread
(12-07-2015 01:20 PM)xpatplayer Wrote:  Edit: Keep in mind that it is a temporary phase. You are a phoenix, and this depression is the fire. You will emerge anew after this episode. And while suicidal ideation is a terrible thing, losing it will make you appreciate life. Keep this poem on your mind at all times.

I hate when people say this, I've been seriously depressed for four years, I've been going in a downward spiral and basically non function for a year now
12-07-2015 02:14 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Zep Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 843
Joined: Oct 2011
Reputation: 15
Post: #29
RE: Another depression thread
(12-06-2015 06:15 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  So I've been pretty depressed. In a downward spiral last four years, have just focused on trying to get better last few months. I've seen several psychologist/psychiatrists, I've taken a lot of meds, none have worked.

What meds have you tried?
What dosage?
And for how long?

Please be as accurate as possible with the information given, if you choose to share.
12-07-2015 02:53 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
testos111 Offline
Robin
*

Posts: 193
Joined: Dec 2013
Reputation: 11
Post: #30
RE: Another depression thread
As I've grown older, I've realised that one of my beliefs about life has been spot on - and that is that people who do work they love tend to be way more happier than people who don't even if the latter have more riches.

I was just talking to this super rich guy in my gym who owns an industrail empire in my city. He told me he felt his life is shit and that he's always bored out of his mind. He feels like all the effort that he put in to set up his business was just a waste of time as it did not yield the perosonal benefits he thought it would.

Things around us change very quickly. So depending on anything but yourself is a recipe for disaster. Having a purpose and doing something you love to do gets back the control in your hands.

I can say this because ever seince I started my photography business last year, I've never been happier.

The thing with work is that it's something like eating, it HAS to be done. So why not choose something that comes naturally to you.

So many of my MBA colleagues are earning way more than me but are absolutely miserable with their lives.

The root of depression is usually an indicatior that you are not living the life that comes naturally to you. You are living for the future, not the present.

I see so many people even on this forum talking about sacrificing the present so you can X amount of cash in the bank.

For me, this 'sacrifice' mindset is what leads to depression.

I love my work so much that every morning I too struggle to shower and shave, but for a different reason - because I just can;t wait to go to my favorite cafe, open my laptop and get to work.

This happiness has seeped into other areas of my life and Im in the best shape that I have ever been.

So my advice to you would be to find work that will bring you joy. Find a dream that fills you with passion, no matter how awkward it seems. Mark Manson the blogger started off his career with cousnelling men who were shy in dating and now he's one of the top most bloggers out there.

The key to loving your life is to love what you DO on a daily basis.
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2015 03:49 PM by testos111.)
12-07-2015 03:47 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 6 users Like testos111's post:
thoughtgypsy, Anabasis to Desta, Ice, birthday cat, Isaac Jordan, PUA_Rachacha
Eddie Winslow Offline
Kingfisher
***
Gold Member

Posts: 628
Joined: Apr 2012
Reputation: 46
Post: #31
RE: Another depression thread
Quote:I'm isolated as fuck, I have no one in my life. I've done all these things and been told I have an awesome life yet am still miserable.

Man - do I ever know how that feels.

My guess is that you are like me. Since Kindergarten, I've been doing whatever other people have told me I should be doing. Do you actually want to travel the world? Fuck random sluts every night forever? Be an entrepreneur? Conquer the world? Doesn't sound like it.

Those are other people's idea of a successful life. Have you ever shutoff the TV, closed out of RVF, and thought about what is important to YOU? Maybe you want to help people who need help. Maybe you want to fight bad guys. Maybe you want to be a Dad, and have a beautiful child to love and show the world to instead of just mindlessly doing "alpha" shit you don't even care about.

Also, I agree with other posters, having great relationships is the essence of life. Try to be vulnerable and seek out people you want to be around. Remember, you get back what you put out; if you are miserable and grumpy, don't expect warm, fun people to be killing themselves to hang out with you. Put in TRUE EFFORT to be happy and be positive.

Take some time to REALLY think about what you want - it probably won't come immediately but it will come. Then go do that.
12-07-2015 05:35 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Eddie Winslow's post:
birthday cat, Thriller
nomadicdude Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 558
Joined: Feb 2011
Reputation: 11
Post: #32
RE: Another depression thread
It sounds like you have tried all western medicine has to offer and it has failed so why not try Buddhist meditation? There are tons of resources online that will teach you how to meditate each day using the breathing technique. It sounds stupid but probably the only thing that has really helped me deal with down times is Buddhist meditation. I regret that I don't have the discipline to do it for 20 minutes a day. Even 2-3 minutes can help, it's pretty powerful when done right.

This is just my two cents, but I use to buy into the American viewpoint of depression (basically that it is not normal and you must treat it with therapy and/or pills). In some cases that may be appropriate, but I think overall we all suffer. There's a saying in Buddhism that basically says: Once you are taking pills and thinking there is something wrong with you, you will actually become more depressed because you start to think of yourself as a unusual freak because you are on pills. Your depression actually becomes the source of more depression. In other words, in the west the underlying reason for depression isn't really treated. I have forgotten a lot of the Buddhist teachings but basically it goes like this: (1) all humans suffer (2) by accepting that it's not just you alone who suffers (3) you can actually overcome grief and depression. You essentially need to change your mindset about how you think about things.

You should check out a Buddhism book at least to see if it's something you are interested in.
12-07-2015 07:22 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes nomadicdude's post:
birthday cat
swfter2456 Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 38
Joined: Oct 2011
Reputation: 0
Post: #33
RE: Another depression thread
(12-07-2015 02:53 PM)Zep Wrote:  
(12-06-2015 06:15 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  So I've been pretty depressed. In a downward spiral last four years, have just focused on trying to get better last few months. I've seen several psychologist/psychiatrists, I've taken a lot of meds, none have worked.

What meds have you tried?
What dosage?
And for how long?

Please be as accurate as possible with the information given, if you choose to share.

Dosage I wont' remember most. Off the top of my head, lexapro, welbutrin, risperadone, zoloft, brintelix, abilify, serequel, cymbalta, lithium, latuda. I only spent significant time on zoloft/brintelix/cymbalta because I was pretty sensitive to side effects.

(12-07-2015 05:35 PM)Eddie Winslow Wrote:  
Quote:I'm isolated as fuck, I have no one in my life. I've done all these things and been told I have an awesome life yet am still miserable.

Man - do I ever know how that feels.

My guess is that you are like me. Since Kindergarten, I've been doing whatever other people have told me I should be doing. Do you actually want to travel the world? Fuck random sluts every night forever? Be an entrepreneur? Conquer the world? Doesn't sound like it.

Those are other people's idea of a successful life. Have you ever shutoff the TV, closed out of RVF, and thought about what is important to YOU? Maybe you want to help people who need help. Maybe you want to fight bad guys. Maybe you want to be a Dad, and have a beautiful child to love and show the world to instead of just mindlessly doing "alpha" shit you don't even care about.

Also, I agree with other posters, having great relationships is the essence of life. Try to be vulnerable and seek out people you want to be around. Remember, you get back what you put out; if you are miserable and grumpy, don't expect warm, fun people to be killing themselves to hang out with you. Put in TRUE EFFORT to be happy and be positive.

Take some time to REALLY think about what you want - it probably won't come immediately but it will come. Then go do that.

No, not people pushing me towards it, I want to be entrepreneur and I want to travel. I'm just tired of doing everything alone. I guess when you set out with your goals it's accomplish X and you'll be happy, eg when I lose x lbs or make $x I'll be happy. I've accomplished a lot but it just always feels empty at the end.

Like right now I'm looking for an apartment so I can workout and maybe work. But I realize #1 it won't make me better #2 I'm probably just going to spend all day in bed and do nothing. So I just don't even care to look

(12-07-2015 07:22 PM)nomadicdude Wrote:  It sounds like you have tried all western medicine has to offer and it has failed so why not try Buddhist meditation? There are tons of resources online that will teach you how to meditate each day using the breathing technique. It sounds stupid but probably the only thing that has really helped me deal with down times is Buddhist meditation. I regret that I don't have the discipline to do it for 20 minutes a day. Even 2-3 minutes can help, it's pretty powerful when done right.

This is just my two cents, but I use to buy into the American viewpoint of depression (basically that it is not normal and you must treat it with therapy and/or pills). In some cases that may be appropriate, but I think overall we all suffer. There's a saying in Buddhism that basically says: Once you are taking pills and thinking there is something wrong with you, you will actually become more depressed because you start to think of yourself as a unusual freak because you are on pills. Your depression actually becomes the source of more depression. In other words, in the west the underlying reason for depression isn't really treated. I have forgotten a lot of the Buddhist teachings but basically it goes like this: (1) all humans suffer (2) by accepting that it's not just you alone who suffers (3) you can actually overcome grief and depression. You essentially need to change your mindset about how you think about things.

You should check out a Buddhism book at least to see if it's something you are interested in.

I've meditated on and off, but never more than a month probably. None of these cures will solve my problems because at end of the day will still be isolated.
12-07-2015 09:35 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
birthday cat Offline
Kingfisher
***
Gold Member

Posts: 713
Joined: Jul 2015
Reputation: 76
Post: #34
RE: Another depression thread
Are you working at all now? In a old thread you mentioned you played poker online. Are you still doing that?

Do you plan to stay in the US or do you plan to travel?
12-07-2015 09:47 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Phoenix Offline
Banned

Posts: 4,464
Joined: Jul 2014
Post: #35
RE: Another depression thread
(12-07-2015 02:12 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  I'm isolated as fuck, I have no one in my life. I've done all these things and been told I have an awesome life yet am still miserable.

You are depressed because you have no children and wife. Is that a fair assessment?
12-07-2015 10:03 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Phoenix's post:
Off The Reservation
swfter2456 Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 38
Joined: Oct 2011
Reputation: 0
Post: #36
RE: Another depression thread
(12-07-2015 09:47 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  Are you working at all now? In a old thread you mentioned you played poker online. Are you still doing that?

Do you plan to stay in the US or do you plan to travel?

Not working at all, dont' plan on traveling right now

(12-07-2015 10:03 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  
(12-07-2015 02:12 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  I'm isolated as fuck, I have no one in my life. I've done all these things and been told I have an awesome life yet am still miserable.


You are depressed because you have no children and wife. Is that a fair assessment?

No, more like no friends/gf
12-07-2015 10:31 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Designate Offline
Woodpecker
**
Gold Member

Posts: 380
Joined: Jan 2015
Reputation: 34
Post: #37
RE: Another depression thread
This is completely counterintuative to everything proposed in this thread but I think you really need to hit up an exotic location, swoop exotic women, do blow, smoke lots of cigarettes and just live on the edge for a few weeks.

Sometimes it's good to completely let go of yourself and really experience the vices life has to offer.

It won't be a panacea, but it will interject some much needed excitement in your life.

Get your ass on the next plane to a poosy paradise and go live a little. It seems that just sitting around trying to figure out how to cure it is probably not going set things straight for you at this point in time.

Go for the gusto.
12-07-2015 11:53 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Thriller Offline
Woodpecker
**
Gold Member

Posts: 300
Joined: Jun 2015
Reputation: 14
Post: #38
RE: Another depression thread
swfter2456, I'ma offer you three options... Bear in mind my suggestions are all completely naive mainly because I'm gonna talk about lifestyle and won't bother mentioning the medical side of depression at all. Everyone else has already addressed things like medications, social group, nutrition and exercise etc etc so But something tells me that you are in a spiralling vortex of boredom and bad habits that has crept up over the years.

So in a nutshell - I suggest radical change!!!

1. Medium change = In winter move to a ski town. Buy a season pass. Ski or snowboard fresh pow pow all day long. There's heaps of nomadic working holiday visa types in these towns, so likely you'll meet some interesting people from all over the world. Live with flatmates rather than living solo, cos even when you're being grumpy and reclusive - they'll invite you out to do stuff. Or maybe you won't, but regardless the town will have some buzz and you'll have next level pow pow to tear up each and everyday causing an overflow of endorphins. Skiing, for me, makes me feel alive. In summer, you could move to a surf town and do the same thing but the surfy grommet version.

2. Big change = Now if this ^^ still doesn't tickle your fancy than let me throw you a curve ball. Move to EE/latam/SEAsia, and go find slay some really hot chicas... You're not bored of women, you're bored of American whales... go find a hottie that will warm your heart... and then as a by-product it will give you back your thirst for life. Being in a society of feminine women really makes me want to be a masculine man and makes me really feel alive.

3. Radical change = Now, last but not least, a suggestion to appeal to your spiritual and empathetic sensibilities. Move over to India, volunteer yourself to help in an NGO. Hell, maybe become an actor in bollywood for some extra cash. Do some hallucinogens in Goa and walk through the jungle. Become a yogi sadhu in a ashram. Maybe even move to a village in butt-fuck nowhere and learn Marathi jus like Gregory David Roberts did i.e. do your own new-age Shantaram journey (one of my fav books ever and highly recommended). Basically help those who have nothing. The things you witness will put your life into perspective, you'll have so many pure undeniable moments of humanity. This will give you purpose.... and make you feel alive.

swfter2456, Best of luck hombre!
12-08-2015 12:25 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Peregrine Offline
Pelican
****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,493
Joined: Mar 2013
Reputation: 67
Post: #39
RE: Another depression thread
You keep coming back to loneliness (e.g. lack of friends, girlfriend), so that could be at the root of your depression. I wrote a short post on the topic. Let me know if there's anything I can expand on.

http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-37185-...#pid758301
12-08-2015 01:18 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Peregrine's post:
Wahawahwah
LINUX Away
Ostrich
****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,887
Joined: Sep 2014
Reputation: 244
Post: #40
RE: Another depression thread
(12-07-2015 11:53 PM)Designate Wrote:  This is completely counterintuative to everything proposed in this thread but I think you really need to hit up an exotic location, swoop exotic women, do blow, smoke lots of cigarettes and just live on the edge for a few weeks.

[Image: cheering_minions.gif]
12-08-2015 01:41 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 6 users Like LINUX's post:
MiscBrah, Disco_Volante, Beyond Borders, debeguiled, Wahawahwah, Blackwell
cascadecombo Offline
Ostrich
****

Posts: 1,841
Joined: May 2014
Reputation: 22
Post: #41
RE: Another depression thread
OP from all the comments it sounds like you just need a friend. Or someone you have met and puts an interest in your life an well being.
12-08-2015 04:22 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Filbert Offline
Robin
*

Posts: 204
Joined: Oct 2015
Reputation: 2
Post: #42
RE: Another depression thread
My 2 cents:
Sleep deprivation combined with long-time running. Look it up!

Also, try some meditation techniques, preferrably from a group with an advanced tutor.
By advanced i mean someone who can give you initiation or lead you to the one who can do.
12-08-2015 04:38 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Beyond Borders Away
Peacock
******
Gold Member

Posts: 7,411
Joined: Aug 2011
Reputation: 251
Post: #43
RE: Another depression thread
(12-07-2015 11:53 PM)Designate Wrote:  This is completely counterintuative to everything proposed in this thread but I think you really need to hit up an exotic location, swoop exotic women, do blow, smoke lots of cigarettes and just live on the edge for a few weeks.

Sometimes it's good to completely let go of yourself and really experience the vices life has to offer.

It won't be a panacea, but it will interject some much needed excitement in your life.

Get your ass on the next plane to a poosy paradise and go live a little. It seems that just sitting around trying to figure out how to cure it is probably not going set things straight for you at this point in time.

Go for the gusto.

Sorry, Man, but your post is irresponsible and misleading.

I've lived in Southeast Asia for the greater part of a decade. If you think it's some fast track to happiness, you clearly missed all the guys who have come here and completely lost themselves. I've been one at times. Some of them will never find the way back.

And you just gave a guy who is a prime candidate for addiction - due to his feelings of isolation, lack of purpose, and lack of social network - the advice to go lose himself in blow and booze and hookers.

Just because you described the romanticized version of it doesn't change what you're prescribing - in fact, it's worse because you're selling the dream to a guy who really shouldn't be buying it.

As far as exotic women, and I think another poster said hot exotic women, that too is a load of crap.

I mean, yes, there are certain situations where a stream of easy vagina can do a guy some good, but let's be honest here. Any guy who flies over here looking for a solution to his problems, and who probably doesn't have a lot of game as it is, is most likely going to be banging a stream of ugly sluts and prostitutes - not exciting and desirable exotic women.

OP also said quick hookups don't do it for him; I know it's hard to believe for some of you, but shallow sex does not make every man happy, and if that's his nature, it'll probably make it worse.

The high side of what you're suggesting is fun, yes, but the comedown afterward can be EXTREMELY dangerous for a guy who has issues with depression and suicidal tendencies. There's a very logical reason so many foreigners end it off balconies in Southeast Asia, and it's not because they slipped while enjoying the view.

OP, I've been there and done it (minus the blow), and I highly suggest you completely ignore this advice.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
(This post was last modified: 12-08-2015 05:07 AM by Beyond Borders.)
12-08-2015 04:49 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 7 users Like Beyond Borders's post:
Phoenix, thoughtgypsy, Onto, Wahawahwah, Sooth, Bushido, Windom Earle
Phoenix Offline
Banned

Posts: 4,464
Joined: Jul 2014
Post: #44
RE: Another depression thread
So I'm not sure what all this other stuff people are suggesting is about. He's specifically mentioned the root cause is loneliness. People should be aiming their advice at that and nothing else. I get the feeling that perhaps some people just want to type out their unrelated opinions on other things for self-absorbed reasons, rather than primarily to help this guy.

Looking at OP's prior post history, it seems pretty clear stuff. He finds socializing difficult, as a result he's failing to have social success, and thus he is ending up lonely. This persistent loneliness is the core of the depression.

I have a further question for OP. Given that his posts back in 2011 were about being a virgin and having girl difficulty generally, what changes have there been over the 4 years of traveling that you mentioned?
12-08-2015 05:04 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Phoenix's post:
Beyond Borders, Wahawahwah, birthday cat
thoughtgypsy Offline
Kingfisher
***
Gold Member

Posts: 964
Joined: Apr 2010
Reputation: 114
Post: #45
RE: Another depression thread
Have you thought about what's the big difference between now and when this started? Did you have a group of close friends from childhood that you've since lost contact with as a result of your travels, and now you're finding it difficult to find someone you can connect with?

I wonder if this has anything to do with jumping too far and too fast into the game community. Not all of the advice is helpful for people with certain personalities. I've seen advice like "Get rid of your close friends, they're beta and just gonna drag you down." Which might be true for some, but for others, they'll be losing close friends that they disagree with on some issues but overall they can trust.

Like most things, there will always be guys who will play on your insecurities to get you to buy stuff. They'll try to convince you that you're a beta/delta/gamma/whatever, but if you buy their product then you can overcome your current loser status. Some guys take those labels to heart, and it eats away at their self esteem. To them it's counterproductive, and they take on an artificial personality or chase goals given to them by someone else that doesn't understand what makes that them happy.

I knew a guy who was deep into RSD stuff and he was one of the most obnoxious people I've ever met. He was constantly trying to talk over people, AMOG, interjecting himself into your conversation with your woman. Rather than making him a more complete person, his life seemed emptier than when I first met him.

I love what game has done for my life. I have a deeper understanding of what motivates people, and I can enjoy my interactions more as a result. But I wish I had ignored some of the advice from the more in-your-face programs in my early days. Ultimately you have to understand what makes you happy, and sometimes the path that others have set for you isn't the way towards it. I would second Pheonix here. Have the changes in your life brought you closer, or further away from happiness?
12-08-2015 06:46 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Designate Offline
Woodpecker
**
Gold Member

Posts: 380
Joined: Jan 2015
Reputation: 34
Post: #46
RE: Another depression thread
Points taken BB, and I do agree with most of what you wrote.

My original statement was brash, irresponsible and cliché to a degree. My intentions were not to lead the OP toward full blow drug or sex addiction. Though I stated that it would NOT be a panacea.

Too much partying and Bukowski for me lately.

With that said I think the original purpose for my remarks still stands.

I'll co-sign every time with some of the advice that's being put out there. Get more sleep. Start a routine. Take more Vitamin D/Magnesium. Go to the gym. Join a civic group. Go to toastmasters. Join a men's sports league.

All good advice, all these things could very well lead to the OP pulling himself back from the depths.

OP stated he was American. As most know here, American life in 2015 can be quite an average experience, void of adventure and real purpose. It's extremely easy to lose yourself and your primal masculinity. You can easily become numb.

For some, this status quo advice is not enough to escape this. In a way they become just another part of the monotony.

What I'm suggesting here is that the status quo route might not be what the OP needs. How about something a bit more out of the box, a swift kick to the ass out in the world with some real adventure.

Perhaps these threads can serve as inspiration.
-Antarctica
-MaleDefined Goes To Son Doong Cave in Vietnam

If nothing else OP, listen to Linux.
(12-06-2015 06:59 PM)LINUX Wrote:  Come travel the world with some of us. It can be much more enjoyably than traveling alone. Nothing is better than having good friends that you can rely on. And a lot of us are open to making good friends. Everyone puts on a persona but most of us are all suffering in our own way.
(This post was last modified: 12-08-2015 09:39 AM by Designate.)
12-08-2015 09:28 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Designate's post:
Beyond Borders
civpro Offline
Banned

Posts: 628
Joined: Jul 2014
Post: #47
RE: Another depression thread
Have you gotten your testosterone levels checked? Perhaps TRT is the answer.
12-08-2015 10:52 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
CleanSlate Offline
Hummingbird
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,985
Joined: Dec 2008
Reputation: 222
Post: #48
RE: Another depression thread
As the other posters said above:

- Check testosterone
- Meet like minded guys any chance you get (especially fellow RVFers, you will not regret it)
- Take a 30 minute walk outside every day in FULL sunlight (lunch break is perfect for it if you have a desk job)
- Hire a counselor

I would also encourage the OP to take a trip somewhere, especially out of America. Bang chicks if you want to. But as BB cautioned, the comedown after the trip can be brutal and should not be underestimated. The "re-entry blues" I suffered over Thanksgiving was a real hard slap in the face. It took me almost two weeks to get back to normal. And I am not suffering from clinical depression or a chemical imbalance.

For someone whose mental health may consist of undiagnosed / untreated depression, however mild it may be, the post-trip blues may be even more protracted and dangerous. Something to watch out for and discuss with your counselor... don't try to go through it alone.
12-08-2015 11:49 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes CleanSlate's post:
Beyond Borders
swfter2456 Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 38
Joined: Oct 2011
Reputation: 0
Post: #49
RE: Another depression thread
(12-08-2015 04:22 AM)cascadecombo Wrote:  OP from all the comments it sounds like you just need a friend. Or someone you have met and puts an interest in your life an well being.

I mean yeah, but easier said then done. Especially as you get older and being socially awkward becomes less and less acceptable.

(12-08-2015 05:04 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  So I'm not sure what all this other stuff people are suggesting is about. He's specifically mentioned the root cause is loneliness. People should be aiming their advice at that and nothing else. I get the feeling that perhaps some people just want to type out their unrelated opinions on other things for self-absorbed reasons, rather than primarily to help this guy.

Looking at OP's prior post history, it seems pretty clear stuff. He finds socializing difficult, as a result he's failing to have social success, and thus he is ending up lonely. This persistent loneliness is the core of the depression.

I have a further question for OP. Given that his posts back in 2011 were about being a virgin and having girl difficulty generally, what changes have there been over the 4 years of traveling that you mentioned?

I honestly followed internets advice. Just keep going type of advice and eventually crashed and burned, and have become more isolated, haven't really tried, and just floating through life last two years or so.

(12-08-2015 06:46 AM)thoughtgypsy Wrote:  Have you thought about what's the big difference between now and when this started? Did you have a group of close friends from childhood that you've since lost contact with as a result of your travels, and now you're finding it difficult to find someone you can connect with?

I wonder if this has anything to do with jumping too far and too fast into the game community. Not all of the advice is helpful for people with certain personalities. I've seen advice like "Get rid of your close friends, they're beta and just gonna drag you down." Which might be true for some, but for others, they'll be losing close friends that they disagree with on some issues but overall they can trust.

Like most things, there will always be guys who will play on your insecurities to get you to buy stuff. They'll try to convince you that you're a beta/delta/gamma/whatever, but if you buy their product then you can overcome your current loser status. Some guys take those labels to heart, and it eats away at their self esteem. To them it's counterproductive, and they take on an artificial personality or chase goals given to them by someone else that doesn't understand what makes that them happy.

I knew a guy who was deep into RSD stuff and he was one of the most obnoxious people I've ever met. He was constantly trying to talk over people, AMOG, interjecting himself into your conversation with your woman. Rather than making him a more complete person, his life seemed emptier than when I first met him.

I love what game has done for my life. I have a deeper understanding of what motivates people, and I can enjoy my interactions more as a result. But I wish I had ignored some of the advice from the more in-your-face programs in my early days. Ultimately you have to understand what makes you happy, and sometimes the path that others have set for you isn't the way towards it. I would second Pheonix here. Have the changes in your life brought you closer, or further away from happiness?


No, I grew up a loner, picked on, outcast. At first travel was an escape, took my mind off it, I was being social, but after a while it was just superficial. I realized that and the thrill of it all was gone. Last few times I've traveled just felt so empty, kept to myself and walked around alone.

I'm at a point where I've sought help from the few people I could (family) professional help, and no one really gave a shit. I've basically been living on my moms couch for a month because I don't know what I even want to do. Whatever decision I make I'm going to be miserable so don't care
12-08-2015 03:43 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
CleanSlate Offline
Hummingbird
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,985
Joined: Dec 2008
Reputation: 222
Post: #50
RE: Another depression thread
(12-08-2015 03:43 PM)swfter2456 Wrote:  I'm at a point where I've sought help from the few people I could (family) professional help, and no one really gave a shit.

Hang on. Who did you specifically ask for "professional" help? Your family?

Big mistake.

When you are seeking professional help, you DON'T ask any of your family members for that kind of help.

For one, they are not professionals and are in no position to help you with your condition.

Secondly, they are biased. While they may have good intentions, they may only enable you to continue your depressive thought process (instead of disrupting it and replacing it with a more constructive thought process).

Third, they might not care enough to really help you and if they show you such indifference (as you said they have), it puts you even deeper into a depressive state.

The fact that you've sought "professional" help tells me that you know you need to talk to someone who can actually help you. But your family members won't help you - because they can't. You need to actually hire a therapist or counselor. Look for a cognitive behavioral therapist. This way, you do get the real help that you need, along with the recommendations made in this thread (get sunlight, check testosterone, walk daily, etc).
12-08-2015 03:56 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | RooshV.com | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication