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An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
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CRR Offline
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Post: #26
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
Great thread, very interesting.

I've never honestly gotten angry or resentful to other guys getting girls. While I was never "the man", I generally have had a girl around (sure with dry spells here and there) since early high school.

What I resent is the ongoing and worsening dishonesty and hypocrisy of the feminist movement (and thus most women), and that it continues to permeate and affect our culture.

In a nutshell, it's that women continue to try to dictate to men and society what they should find attractive in women. And it trickles down to real life.

What I mean is this idea that 'every woman is beautiful' is not only incredibly narcissistic, it just isn't true. And it's funny to watch people in my social circle pretty much declare any woman (particularly if she's white) with any sort of office job to be a 'catch'. This is no matter how fat, unattractive and/or annoying she is. Yet a man is still only a 'catch' if he checks off the right boxes.

Of course it is even more absurd considering women have never had the moral high ground. I don't think any of us remember the overweight, quiet nerdy kids in high school getting laid a lot. Nor do I see women to this day ever really talking about actual personal qualities they want to see in a guy, other than he can never say anything that can be construed as critical of women, and anyone not attractive to them is 'creepy'. One has to look no further than the countless articles posted here by bitter, mediocre-at-best, mid-30s women who haven't found the one (and take no personal responsibility) and the fatties who are pissed that Rebel Wilson isn't matched with Brad Pitt in a movie (true story, an article from HuffPo that was posted here). As has often been said, not too long ago these women would be put in a mental institution, or at the very least cruelly mocked for saying such utter nonsense. Yet today it is considered mainstream thought.

Anyway, I've discussed this before, and I'd expand on this more, but my time is limited over the next few days. Again, this is a great thread, good to see such honesty and understanding of people's various experiences and how they shaped them.

12-11-2015 10:53 AM
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XPQ22 Offline
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Post: #27
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
THANK YOU to my narcissistic mother, and my codependent beta father. Thank you to all the male peers who treated me horribly when I had done them no wrong, and the women who blew me out, friendzoned me, and abused me, for the simple crime of being the sensitive person that I was and desiring a romantic relationship.

If it wasn't for you, my life wouldn't have ended up the way it is today - better than ever in so many respects.

"Thank you for all the doubts, and for all the questioning,
For all the loneliness, and for all the suffering.
For all the emptiness, and the scars it left inside.
it inspired in me, an impetus to fight.

For the conviction, for the purpose found along.
For the strength and courage, that in me I'd never known.
And if it seems to you, that my words are undeserved,
I write this in gratitude, for whatever good it serves."
(This post was last modified: 12-11-2015 01:37 PM by XPQ22.)
12-11-2015 01:36 PM
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ChickenLover9T9 Offline
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Post: #28
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
(12-10-2015 06:07 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  The thing about phantasms of regret and resentment is they're always idealised and romanticised in a positive way.

You could have ended up with that girl, only to have her fall pregnant at 16 and balloon up like a hippo after the shotgun wedding. She might have blamed you for ruining her life and future for knocking her up, and passive-aggressively taken it out on you until you turned to the bottle.

Here's another example:

"If only I'd kept up my high school football career." No-one ever fantasises about the neck injury they potentially-escaped in a game that would have left them a quadriplegic.

Or in Phoenix's case:

"That man is going off with a beautiful woman - the woman he'll identify later as the one who gave him Herpes."

See how no-one considers negative possibilities? This is why it turns into negative self-flagellation.

Definitely. At the time I did not even allow myself those brief "moments" with the girl because, subconsciously, I feared I would lose myself and end up in deep shit. I knew a big part of her was trouble. Indeed I idealize the moments I didn't have without considering what that would have led to. In practise, however, stupid as I was at 18 in highschool, my neurotic tendencies saved me, I guess. Same with my girlfriend at the time, who adored me, wanted to get married and so on. Now we're all over 30, I'm still chasing 18-20 year olds while all the pretty young girls in highschool are now old, ugly inside and out. When I think about staying with one girl for the rest of my life, sitting there passively as she shrivels before my eyes, I think, damn, I dodged a bullet there, to not be stupid enough to marry any of them (divorce rape etc. aside). Sure it has led to a lot of loneliness, but for me familiarity breeds contempt. Even the nicest girl gets annoying fast if you live with her, while conversely she seems to bond with me only more strongly as time goes by.

Similarly, this relates to resentment of other men's success with women, as you rightly pointed out. It has been said by Roosh before, I believe - and doubtless thought by many more men who have experienced the vicissitudes of cold approach (emphasis on "cold"), to never covet another man's woman, the reason for this being that, almost without exception, we have absolutely no idea what that man went through and continues to go through to get and keep that woman.

I live in the so-called "Anglosphere", where it is commonly said men are forced to "date down" but shit, to be honest, I far more often see pretty and just downright beautiful girls with guys who appear to be average. Not complete saps but boring, average, stable. If you ask how they met it's nearly always social circle of some sort, going to the same school/college/work, friends in common, family friends and things like that.
Even if occasionally one of the boring looking guys is actually a badass, I'd say that's the exception not the rule. Most of the guys with hot girls could not have done it by cold approach. We compare ourselves to men who are playing in a very different setting from us. There are all sorts of hidden costs of being in certain social circles. If you're going to college you have to pay big bucks, you have to pass your exams, you have to navigate the minefield that is college sexual harrassment policy, as just one example. Most of these dudes don't have any concept of true "abundance", being able to walk up to any girl on the street and at least be in with a chance at getting her, it's just not in their reality. The power in these relationships is more commonly with the beautiful girl. The "average" man from her social circle is convenient for the beautiful girl, as he is easy to introduce to friends and family, and provides a helpful, stable masculine presence, is supportive and all that good stuff. He can also make her feel good about herself by his being willing to take a certain amount of shit. There is always the gnawing fear of loss if there isn't a positive answer to "could I get another girl as good as her?"

It's much harder in game terms to get and keep higher quality from cold approach, but it's also very unpleasant and emasculating being a beautiful girl's bitch, something more of these average stable boyfriend material men than you would think are willing to put up with, just to keep her around.

Much like your "what if..." overly positive examples of the football player, our instinct is to look at another man and only think of the positives of being with his beautiful girlfriend: the sex, the good times (if she is feminine and has a good personality), the sex, more of the sex. When I envy like that, I confess it is mostly lust. But take another look at the man. Did he just pick her up in a vacuum? Does he not live in the same universe as we do? No, he is subject to the same sexual market dynamics as we are, and as such, there is always a price to pay, despite the fact that we rarely see the full extent of that price. Most of us are concentrated on his hot girlfriend and what we would love to do to her, how much better we are than him, how we can cold approach and how he can't, ad infinitum.

I think Lizard's original post raised a good issue. But for me, the post did not solve it. This is one of those things that at least from my end I do not believe will ever go away. Logically, I may be aware of the fact that very few men who are not A-List famous can pull top women without considerable expenditure in some form or another, expenditure which many of us would be unwilling to incur; but when I see a girl who stirs your emotions and your loins with another man, I see red. The only thing that fully remedies this is actually having that girl and fucking her in all ways imaginable, and spending time with her until I am so sick of her I have not only no desire to see her ever again, but I am actually annoyed by her presence. I feel that nature has placed us as men on a most cruel hamster wheel of neverending pursuit. There is such a great variation of women on this planet that we could never be fully satisfied. I have seen pornography with prefabricated scenarios which not even the richest or most famous men could emulate. It's difficult enough to get a fumbling, unsatisfying threesome, let alone the insanity that you can happily view in 2D at the click of a button.

I see only mitigation of this problem at best, not an outright cure.
12-11-2015 02:21 PM
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Post: #29
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
As someone who used to be exactly like the ungrateful man The Lizard Of Oz described, and as someone who has only been Not Like That for about fifteen months, I remember the steps that changed me.

The Lizard of Oz Wrote:What I contend is that it is the privileging of psychology over objectivity that most deprives intelligent men of the ability to live a good and enjoyable life; and of all varieties of psychology, it is the psychology of eros that is particularly privileged in this way (and sexual resentment, the subject that spurred the post, is just an especially corrosive consequence of this privileging of the psychology of eros). Finally, I noted that the privileging of psychology in general, and of the psychology of eros in particular, is part of the default cognitive predisposition of intelligent literary men.

"Isn't interesting how narcissism turns everything inward, except blame?" --- The Last Psychiatrist.

(said to a 17-year old, overweight, hypersensitive male) "Once you figure out the true nature of women, you'll inevitably go through a Hatred / Bitterness phase. But that phase contains an inescapable logical contradiction at its core: No woman worthy of your love, respect, and enjoyment will ever change her aesthetic desires, just because a man she neither knows nor respects wants her to do so. Once you grasp that contradiction, the Hatred / Bitterness phase becomes impossible to sustain." --- MMX2010.

----------------

AnonymousBosch Wrote:I guarantee you this: she will carry the weight of this resentment to her grave and is making a daily active choice to do so. She's fixated on mourning a past that she can't change, whilst ignoring a future that she can influence.

For those who don't know me, I've a 140 IQ, graduated near the top of my class, and had very abusive parents. According to one psychological measurement, only 5% of children had worse parents than mine. Such parenting robbed me of my energy, motivation, and joy for the first 38 years of my life - leaving me with the objective sensation that I wasted my twenties and most of my thirties.

But this is something I acknowledge dispassionately, (with zero emotional energy), because I have a completely different Frame. (1) Each of us has a limited amount of emotional energy, and you can use it to make yourself happy or make yourself miserable. (2) Only the dead are permanently broken; as long as you're alive, you can turn your life around. The alive people whom you think are broken aren't permanently so, but they are choosing to break themselves with their self-talk.

Once I realized that I was trying to control women's core emotional and sexual desires, and that I was breaking myself with my self-talk, I also realized that practically everyone else was breaking themselves with their self-talk. This made me ultimately realize that a person who doesn't do this is bound to possess a rare happiness, and practically everyone could possess this happiness through self-work.

This produced a seemingly instantaneous shift from depression to optimistic joy that definitely "leaks out" into my approaches. I've opened highly attractive women, as well as 18 and 19 year olds (despite my age), without being called "creepy". Smile

---------------------

The Last Psychiatrist Wrote:So many people have emailed me, saying that they suspect they're narcissists and are desperate for a cure. This always makes me sigh with annoyance, because the cure for narcissism is very simple but practically no one understands it. The cure for narcissism only has two steps: (1) Fake not being a narcissist. (2) There is no step two; there is only step one.

Inevitably, people reading this become frustrated, saying that I'm supposed to recommend a specific type of therapy (or drugs) that will help them reach the core of why they're a narcissist, so that they'll finally be cured.

But my reply is always the same: You don't get it. The cure for narcissism is the cure for narcissism because it's not for you; it's for everyone else you'll ever come in contact with.

That above cure works! If you learn to stop internally focusing on your own problems, and meet people whom you can help, you'll slowly-but-surely develop a genuine positive emotional reaction when you help people. And when you acquire joy, you'll be able to offer it to everyone interested in sharing it with you. (Ironically, the number of people who hate you will increase along with the number of people who love you. Not everyone can accept joy; a woman in this office despises me because I made fun of her hat...)

I hope this was helpful.
(This post was last modified: 12-11-2015 05:35 PM by MMX2010.)
12-11-2015 05:32 PM
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TheFinalEpic Offline
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Post: #30
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
"A man cannot lose the past nor the future; A man cannot lose that which he never had" - Marcus Aurelius

It is a waste of your energy to lament about the past, you knew no better. It's precisely how I've felt about a girlfriend in the past, perhaps we could be together to this day; I used to fantasize about what could've been and all the good times. Then I realize that she's gotten fat and I wouldn't want her anymore, and that I've grown into far too good a man for her, you go about your path and reach for better. Sure we ALL wasted time not learning game until we were older, but the same can be said that we started working out too late, could've started that business a year earlier. It is what it is my man, you get over it, and realize that today you are better than you ever were before, and that should be celebrated.

"Money over bitches, nigga stick to the script." - Jay-Z
They gonna love me for my ambition.
12-11-2015 07:32 PM
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Virtus Offline
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Post: #31
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
Can not easily relate. Sure yes, I've looked with bewilderment at girls leaving with guys right and left, but only till enough bewilderment accumulated to move me from "Wow!" to "Why?" to "How?"

And that's when the fight started

"Virtus"
12-11-2015 08:10 PM
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Caractacus Potts Offline
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Post: #32
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
When I was in college I had a friend "Jerry." He was a nice guy. He was average height and a little chubby. He loved to watch sports but never played any himself. He was sensitive and kind. In PUA lingo he was a textbook AFC but so was I! lol

We were at party and there was a girl there he had a serious case of oneitis for. I watched him make every mistake you can with a girl that we have discussed ad infinitum on this forum. He was over eager and self deprecating. He drank too much. He followed her everywhere.

When "Jerry" wasn't looking she snuck off with one of the guys who lived in the house and went up to his room. By this point "Jerry" was completely drunk. He realized she was gone and started asking everyone if they had seen where she went.

Somehow he figured out she went up to the guys room with him. I heard a commotion upstairs and went to investigate with several other guests. As you can imagine, "Jerry" was the cause of the commotion.

He was pounding on the door and screaming. I tried to calm him down. When he turned around I was stunned and took a step back. His face was contorted. I saw rage, despair, desperation. He seemed to be pleading with me through his eyes.

That was in 1996. I will never forget that look. I have felt it. It sounds like you have too.

I don't know if you have read this or not but it is definitely relevant:
https://whoism3.wordpress.com/2012/11/17...med-incel/

What you felt, Phoenix, is something that I and others can definitely relate to. It is something visceral. Something deep. A feeling of inadequacy and loss that feels as though it can never be made up for.

Their have been some excellent insights posted on this thread. I hope you find them helpful. I will keep you and the rest of the RVF brotherhood in my prayers. Angel

-C. Potts
(This post was last modified: 12-11-2015 11:03 PM by Caractacus Potts.)
12-11-2015 10:57 PM
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Post: #33
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
(12-10-2015 08:26 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  Next, I would like to make another point. Just as intelligent literary men misunderstand the life of activity and its charms and possibilities, so too they misunderstand the life of contemplation. The notion of the contemplative life, as conceived of by most intelligent literary men, is not only not the same as my idea of "enjoying the view"; it is, in fact, its exact opposite.

This is because for intelligent literary men, the idea of a life of contemplation is always animated by the need and desire to turn away from the world, to escape reality and life as it is, and to turn inward. And as ever, what really spurs this need for escape is these men's psychology, and the psychology of eros in particular. Intelligent men who wish to abandon the world and make their way to "nature" and to the contemplative life that they associate with it are, more often than not, simply fleeing eros and its depredations.

In contrast to this, the good life as I see it -- the life of "enjoying the view" -- is the opposite of such an escape. It is, rather, the life of the mind that seeks the world as it is arrayed before us, in its true and endless variety and complexity; it is a life that seeks to join itself to the world, rather than escape it in favor of the vacuous and harshly limited contemplation of the self.

I discussed this subject in an earlier post in a thread about an ostensible hermit who chose to live on $5k a year in a so-called "hobbit hole", and I am reproducing that post in full below:

(11-07-2013 01:36 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  thedude3737 brought up Thoreau and "Walden" in a previous post, and indeed this is something worth talking about in this context.

The literature of nature worship that is exemplified in the writing of Thoreau and other writers like Emerson and Rousseau is, in my opinion, one of the most overrated and pernicious strains of the literary.

It is a literature of bookish men who grossly sentimentalize their experiences of "nature" because for all their brilliance, they can't get a good handle on the world around them. The real world of men and, importantly, women.

They find "nature" pleasant because it offers them a blank canvas on which to project their petulant and thwarted sensibility -- thwarted particularly by unfulfilled eros and the inability to control the female as they think they deserve; and they surround this experience with empty rhetoric born entirely of their book learning, the one thing that they really have. "Nature" is never worshiped by those who inhabit it natively; it is worshiped by the brilliant, solipsistic and wounded outsiders.

To be clear, I'm not saying that these men were necessarily "losers" in a conventional or even erotic sense. But I am saying that they were sensitive, bookish and intelligent men who could not truly get a handle on the world, which is what they thought was owed them by dint of their cleverness and assumed superiority. The literary are immodest, self-absorbed and impatient; when they saw that they had no control over the world and particularly over the thing that meant most to them -- women -- they skulked away to "nature" in which they chose to see their genius reflected back at them.

All very understandable, but the literature that it produces is grievously overrated. Yet many have been suckered by its rhetoric.

It is worth hearing what a truly great writer and thinker, Dr. Samuel Johnson, had to say about these subjects:

http://www.samueljohnson.com/cities.html#263

Quote:"No wise man will go to live in the country, unless he has something to do which can be better done in the country. For instance, if he is to shut himself up for a year to study science, it is better to look out to the fields, than to an opposite wall. Then, if a man walks out in the country, there is nobody to keep him from walking in again: but if a man walks out in London, he is not sure when he will walk in again. A great city is, to be sure, the school for studying life."

http://www.samueljohnson.com/london.html#30

Quote:"Sir, if you wish to have a just notion of the magnitude of this city, you must not be satisfied with seeing its great streets and squares, but must survey the innumerable little lanes and courts. It is not in the showy evolutions of buildings, but in the multiplicity of human habitations which are crowded together, that the wonderful immensity of London consists."

http://www.samueljohnson.com/london.html#77

Quote:Johnson: "The happiness of London is not to be conceived but by those who have been in it. I will venture to say, there is more learning and science within the circumference of ten miles from where we now sit, than in all the rest of the world." Boswell: "The only disadvantage is the great distance at which people live from one another." Johnson: "Yes, Sir, but that is occasioned by the largeness of it, which is the cause of all the other advantages." Boswell: "Sometimes I have been in the humour of wishing to retire to a desart." Johnson: "Sir, you have desart enough in Scotland."

http://www.samueljohnson.com/london.html#238

Quote:"Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford."

Lastly, one must note that conditions have changed to an almost magical extent; there is vastly more learning, interest and experience immediately accessible to anyone with an internet connection than there was in all of Johnson's London. We all live in "London" now. But this does not change the truth of his thinking. When a man is tired of "London" -- meaning, of the true and complex life of the world of thinking and action that surrounds us -- he is tired of life.

I had never heard of Johnson before I read this. Wow. Thanks to LOZ for dropping this info. It eloquently sums up a lot of the beliefs I have formed in the past 4-5 years.
12-12-2015 09:40 AM
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General Stalin Offline
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Post: #34
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
I love the premise of this topic. I'll put a different spin on it.

I think a large chunk of the resentment that Phoenix feels and many of us often feel is something specifically unique to the culture and age we live in. We are all just heavily influenced by it because we are products of our environment like most everyone else.

As much as we may cringe at thirst - a lot of us are thirsty. I don't mean this in a try-hard desperate beta way, but in general the West has been experiencing this culture shift where everyone is being told they need to be having a great, exciting time all the time. When we see people doing things that look fun to us or seem like a better experience than we are having, then we get this mild fear of missing out where we think out lives don't "measure up" to some unrealistic and nebulous standard of what constitutes an enjoyable life.

Now more than ever, everywhere you look people are having a perceived "better" time than you. While you may be perfectly content living your life however you live it, when you look on instagram, login to facebook, or watch TV you are bombarded with images of people doing exciting/interesting/fun things. This creates an ever-present expectation that you need to be doing the same or better in order to be living to the status quo standard as "everyone else."

This happened to Phoenix - he was having a fine night not even thinking about sex or women or whatever, but once he saw people doing something he's been programmed to think is way better than what he was doing, he got pissed and jealous that these kids were having a "better" time than him.

We compare ourselves to others and the world around us and often times hold ourselves up to standards that are not our own.

Having the willpower to disregard outside influences is not easy. Most of us like to think we are our own people and we march to the beat of our own drum, but really most of us do not. This is natural as humans are social creatures and will take cues from others around us on what to do and how to act. Part of being an "alpha male" is being the individual who defines what to do and how to act that others follow, but generally we are all part of the herd and will stick with the status quo. This is exacerbated by this "artificial" social structure we have developed over the past several thousand years.

At the end of the day, the sum of Oz's point is very accurate: appreciate what you have and don't be so concerned with the haves and have-nots of human matters. Do what you enjoy as much as you can and don't do what you don't enjoy as much as possible.

This is something I have been noticing about myself very recently and have been trying to focus on mitigating - comparing my life to others and creating self-imposed anxiety when people who aren't me are doing things that I'm not doing.
12-12-2015 11:15 AM
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Post: #35
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
When I see an established man who is 35+ with a slim and gorgeous 20 year old, I feel resentment and envy.

But at the same time, I see myself in his place in ten years from today. So it balances itself.
(This post was last modified: 12-12-2015 09:00 PM by topdog.)
12-12-2015 08:59 PM
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Post: #36
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
(12-10-2015 03:48 PM)ChickenLover9T9 Wrote:  ...


That is craziest missed Hug-Close story I have ever seen.
12-12-2015 10:04 PM
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Post: #37
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
(12-10-2015 10:40 AM)Bill Wrote:  Bottom line: Don´t believe your biology. Nature is not there to make you happy. You have to work for it with logic and brain.

+1 rep. Good analysis of the misleading nature of some cravings.

In therapy school they call acting rationally when it doesn't feel right
"acting against emotion" which is necessary at times.

Long standing, sincerely felt emotion is more likely to be an important indicator to listen to, but you can't just be like a flag in the wind.


"The goal of {amoral} capitalism is to reduce all human interaction to the cash nexus." L. D.
12-12-2015 10:14 PM
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Post: #38
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
(12-11-2015 09:25 AM)Brian Shima Wrote:  Why would he want to send an angry letter to his parents? He sounds like a hater, guys do not really like to see other guys get women in front of them. I used to get mad many years ago, until I started watching guys to see how they did it..

I once saw this unbelievably perfect girl that happened to be with this black dude. I felt such and unbelievable surge of envy and resentment I had to have an SJW moment of soul searching "Am i a racist?". After a reflecting on it, I realized I felt that way about EVERY guy that was nailing top shelf talent when I wasn't...she just happened to be one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen (and I was having severe dryspell).
12-12-2015 11:21 PM
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Post: #39
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
Thanks for the essay on this. Getting rid of sexual resentment can be a challenge.
(This post was last modified: 12-15-2015 04:09 AM by puckerman.)
12-15-2015 04:08 AM
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topdog Offline
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Post: #40
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
Met a couple some days ago. Both involved in the filming industry. Girl is an 8 at 24 y/o paired up with a guy 6 in looks, 43 years old but with high value in their line of work. I wasn't angry, but jealous as to what experience/reputation can get you. She absolutely loves her 'boyfriend'.
12-15-2015 11:31 AM
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Tengen Away
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Post: #41
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
Phoenix's post could just as easily have been written by me if I had the courage.

I feel a very similar brand of resentment every day when I go out onto the streets, seeing sevens, eights and nines hanging lovingly onto the arms of slobs, hipsters and chavs.

Or whenever I go out salsa dancing and all the girls rush to partner up with big and hunky Fernando or Ricardo instead of little old me.

Or listening to a girl who you thought was cute talk about how she fucked some random guy on Tinder a few days after landing in a foreign country.

Somehow I am able to push through the pain and temper that incandescent rage. While it's not a "solution", it's an effective "defense mechanisms" until you can figure out something more constructive.

That hot girl with the slob? Congrats girl, that's exactly who you deserve.

Bitch, you can dance with Ricardo later, you're dancing with me now.

Don't talk to me about your tinder fucks. In fact, don't talk to me ever again.

When in doubt, affect a pose of indifference. - Heartiste (#7 here - https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/01/...he-zeroes/)

This post may not offer you a lasting solution, but I want you to know that you're not alone in feeling the way you do. I could've written something much more vitriolic - I'm just holding back.

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12-15-2015 02:48 PM
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Brian Shima Offline
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Post: #42
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
So you guys get that mad over guys with attractive girls? Why?
12-15-2015 03:41 PM
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Comte De St. Germain Away
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Post: #43
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
Those of you going in saying you are angry and resentful you want to know why? You have expectations of people and women specifically. The world doesn't owe you crap.

Guess what when you stop trying to understand them and instead responding Cooly and rationally to the situation with a bit of charm you won't feel that resentment.

YOU can change YOU but YOU can't change THEM as an individual. Live happy and live well. More importantly why the hell are you talking to a woman long enough for her to tell you how many guys she's boned on Tinder? You're doing it wrong.

"Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,— 'Wait and hope'."- Alexander Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"

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(This post was last modified: 12-16-2015 01:12 AM by Comte De St. Germain.)
12-16-2015 01:10 AM
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Off The Reservation Away
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Post: #44
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
(12-10-2015 07:33 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  I really feel that there is no better and more rewarding way to live one's life than one that allows a man to enter into a state of relaxed and thoughtful openness to experience and to the world around him.

...

Most conventional "losers" are not men who have immersed themselves in objectivity -- quite the contrary, they often burn with the insult of their psychology as much or more than anyone else. Conversely, a man of great worldly achievement will be forced to deal in a serious way with reality and with the world as it is; and this engagement with objectivity will distract him from his own psychology -- whatever it may be -- and tend to improve his mind and his life.

TLOZ you are a modern day Man of Letters. I mean that in both the sense of the depth and breadth of intellect to think about and write on such important topics and its literal sense of communicating with other men on these topics through the act of sending your letters, via this forum.
01-02-2016 08:35 PM
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The Lizard of Oz Offline
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Post: #45
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
offthereservation, I am deeply moved that you chose to spend a part of your evening in the glamorous city that you wrote about not long ago with such intimate love and knowledge reading some of my posts in this thread.

It means a great deal to me that an intelligent, successful, and no-nonsense man with things to do and places to go would choose to spend his time on such relatively abstract and difficult texts; they must really have some content and some difference that would make it worth his while. So I take what you say as the greatest possible compliment, and thank you for it.

same old shit, sixes and sevens Shaft...
01-02-2016 09:44 PM
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Post: #46
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
(01-02-2016 09:44 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  offthereservation, I am deeply moved that you chose to spend a part of your evening in the glamorous city that you wrote about not long ago with such intimate love and knowledge reading some of my posts in this thread.

It means a great deal to me that an intelligent, successful, and no-nonsense man with things to do and places to go would choose to spend his time on such relatively abstract and difficult texts; they must really have some content and some difference that would make it worth his while. So I take what you say as the greatest possible compliment, and thank you for it.

Worthwhile and worth reading again.
04-22-2016 12:58 AM
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Kid Twist Offline
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Post: #47
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
(12-10-2015 01:19 AM)Disco_Volante Wrote:  'All I can think is "that should've been me when I was 20". What that kid that was Phoenix, what his life was then should never have happened. Never. No one should have had to suffer that, whilst people like those guys were off getting their dick wet like it was nothing."

edit: I assume you're from a religious upbringing where you were taught that chasing tail is wrong.

Every year a new crop turns 18 man. and the carefree young people you see hooking up will perish in droves when the economy collapses soon. that sounds very shadenfreude but it's true. all the young people partying it up will probably suffer or at least have a shitty quality of life down the road. These are the same types of young people who live carefree, in the moment are the ones politicians will fuck the hardest, as like you said, they are positive, happy people who avoid negativity. but reality is quickly becoming negative for many people...economically and physical security. They don't know how to handle adversity or adapt to a changing economy.

You value women too much, you shouldn't take them seriously. they aren't meant to be 'understood' so to speak. There's nothing profound about who they decide to fuck.
That's like going to a dog park and getting mad a dog wouldn't chase your Frisbee because a shiny tennis ball stole its attention first.

This is probably the most important "red pill" idea, the one that takes the least time to distill what is going on A) [temporally] for us in the USA at this time, this place and B) a nugget of the universal wisdom that I didn't used to realize until I started interacting with more and more women (and grew out of the emotional, idealized world of 18-20s).

It pains me (a bit) to say that we shouldn't take women seriously, but it is the truth, it is the reality, and what makes me forget that instantly is that it is the truth, the truth precisely. And that should be valued more than anything (because knowing it you can adapt and live more fully).

In years past when the irrationality was constrained, things were more simple and far more healthy for both sexes. The weird thing is that we are living on the cusp of another "reset" --- rightly pointed out here --- and so absolutely everything is exacerbated at this moment in time. What's worse, globalization has exponentially polluted these waters.

Adapt and survive. Or, at least know what the reality is, and choose to do whatever you wish. But no, no, no --- don't fall into resentment. It is where the devil of despair wants to take you. Life is much more than this.
(This post was last modified: 04-22-2016 08:54 AM by Kid Twist.)
04-22-2016 08:53 AM
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TrifeLife Offline
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Post: #48
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
My friend wrestled when we were in college and one of his teammates was a neurotic type that always thought out loud. He was a little over 5 feet tall and would constantly say stuff like" what fucking girl is going to want to fuck a midget" "I'm never going to get any pussy without paying for it." Our extended social circles at this small university were basically all athletes, so he was always around tall, physically fit guys. We weren't all lady killers but at the very least we got our dicks wet once in a while. This is the scene he was immersed in every weekend and you could tell he was absolutely tormented by it. This, despite checking other markers of success, athletic, went on to get a job making good money at a relatively prestigious law firm.

I admit I am guilty of having felt sorry for myself and resentment, even with all the tools I have been endowed. I try to remember that it is all relative, and when perspective comes back around to me I feel ashamed. Yesterday I felt a sharp pang of sympathy when I saw a guy on the subway who was so ass ugly that you know that he will never in his life get his dick touched by a female. I'm sure he'd get turned down by a lot of prostitutes - that level of ugly.

How does he deal with seeing attractive people showing affection and looking happy at every turn, knowing that he will never in his life experience that feeling. I am sure he asks himself "why has God cursed me so?" every single day of his life.

Maybe he thinks about the fact that there are innocent humans in this world losing their minds, rotting away in solitary confinement, screeching their fingernails along cold concrete walls.

Life sure ain't fair.
04-22-2016 01:26 PM
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Off The Reservation Away
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Post: #49
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
(04-22-2016 08:53 AM)Kid Twist Wrote:  
(12-10-2015 01:19 AM)Disco_Volante Wrote:  'All I can think is "that should've been me when I was 20". What that kid that was Phoenix, what his life was then should never have happened. Never. No one should have had to suffer that, whilst people like those guys were off getting their dick wet like it was nothing."

edit: I assume you're from a religious upbringing where you were taught that chasing tail is wrong.

Every year a new crop turns 18 man. and the carefree young people you see hooking up will perish in droves when the economy collapses soon. that sounds very shadenfreude but it's true. all the young people partying it up will probably suffer or at least have a shitty quality of life down the road. These are the same types of young people who live carefree, in the moment are the ones politicians will fuck the hardest, as like you said, they are positive, happy people who avoid negativity. but reality is quickly becoming negative for many people...economically and physical security. They don't know how to handle adversity or adapt to a changing economy.

You value women too much, you shouldn't take them seriously. they aren't meant to be 'understood' so to speak. There's nothing profound about who they decide to fuck.
That's like going to a dog park and getting mad a dog wouldn't chase your Frisbee because a shiny tennis ball stole its attention first.

This is probably the most important "red pill" idea, the one that takes the least time to distill what is going on A) [temporally] for us in the USA at this time, this place and B) a nugget of the universal wisdom that I didn't used to realize until I started interacting with more and more women (and grew out of the emotional, idealized world of 18-20s).

It pains me (a bit) to say that we shouldn't take women seriously, but it is the truth, it is the reality, and what makes me forget that instantly is that it is the truth, the truth precisely. And that should be valued more than anything (because knowing it you can adapt and live more fully).

In years past when the irrationality was constrained, things were more simple and far more healthy for both sexes. The weird thing is that we are living on the cusp of another "reset" --- rightly pointed out here --- and so absolutely everything is exacerbated at this moment in time. What's worse, globalization has exponentially polluted these waters.

Adapt and survive. Or, at least know what the reality is, and choose to do whatever you wish. But no, no, no --- don't fall into resentment. It is where the devil of despair wants to take you. Life is much more than this.

Nor should we take ourselves too seriously
04-23-2016 10:43 AM
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therealpoder Offline
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Post: #50
RE: An End to the Pain of Sexual Resentment
I was just thinking about this issue yesterday. To be honest I was, and still am to some degree, resentful that women can get dates with whomever from 13 to 30 and often reject decent guys, on many occasions cruelly, and then when they turn 30 they expect some one of the decent guys they rejected to be waiting for them.

And then they have to nerve to say you are immature if you actually want to date around now that you finally are getting female attention after being ignored and rejected for around 15 years.

Worse yet, society sees this as normal. Decent guys cannot complain about this lest they be accused of being some nice guy loser that are really sexist and feel entitled to a girlfriend. All for following the advice that society tells us. They tell you to get a good job, be nice and you'll get a decent woman. Yet, if you follow that advice, you'll be ignored until your 30s and get the chance to marry some used up slut.

I thought about this issue recently because just 2 days ago a girl I am dating told me about her 26 year old co-worker who she is friendly with. She said that this girl was able to go on tinder and go on dates with 3 different guys: a lawyer, a psychiatrist and some other high paid professional that I can't think of right now. And she rejected all of them for trivial reasons. Hell, when I was 26, I would have been happy to go on dates with okay looking girls that were nice to me.

All of it left me feeling jaded and bitter. I have a girlfriend now so much of those feelings faded. But I still feel coldly towards a lot of women. And I do take solace in the fact that, while the 90-95% of women will still get married, that 5-10% will end up childless spinster of 40 year old divorcees that will beg for the attention of a decent man.

While almost all women will find a decent man, not all will and I take pleasure knowing they will suffer future pain.
(This post was last modified: 04-23-2016 01:11 PM by therealpoder.)
04-23-2016 01:10 PM
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