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Friend zoned or a step?
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Jtguthrie12 Offline
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Post: #1
Friend zoned or a step?
Okay known this girl for a while. Had my chances before but got high and passed up on the sure thing. I didn't talk to her for a few weeks then she texted me out of nowhere and we scheduled a sorta date which was a motorcycle ride. We went on the ride and it was good she was rubbing me on the bike and I her. (To stay warm) but it felt like a little more then that. Went back to my homies pad drank some beer she was never really sitting too close to me but i was still touching her and rubbing her leg and she wasnt moving away then we went back to her pad.

So we ended up spooning on the couch rubbing each others legs back etc holding hands then we fell asleep. In the middle of the night we moved to the bed and were still cuddling. Woke up and still cuddling had some good conversations and flirting but we never kissed or anything. We are supposed to go on another ride later today. So based on all of that would you guys say I'm friend zoned or was that a step and I should still make advances later with her?

Need your help.
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2016 01:15 PM by Jtguthrie12.)
02-06-2016 01:10 PM
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Rhyme or Reason Away
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Post: #2
RE: Friend zoned or a step?
You're over thinking it man. She wants you. The next time you see her, escalate aggressively. May I ask why you didn't move in for the kill yet?
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2016 01:27 PM by Rhyme or Reason.)
02-06-2016 01:22 PM
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XPQ22 Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Friend zoned or a step?
You were in bed with her "cuddling" and you didn't go for the kiss?

Wtf

Well, as Red_Pillage says, the situation doesn't sound irredeemable. Go for it next time and see what happens - if she isn't really feeling it and doesn't want to escalate, you'll get the signals to back off (which you should always heed) and you'll know where to stand.

There is no such thing as the "friend zone." If you just want to hang out and be a girl's cuddle buddy friend while she bangs other guys that's your problem, not hers. Giving up your time in that fashion is the equivalent of handing me free money - nobody is going to say no. And if that's what you want to do, well, it's a free country, but it isn't her "fault" and she didn't put you anywhere.
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2016 03:14 PM by XPQ22.)
02-06-2016 03:13 PM
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Jtguthrie12 Offline
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RE: Friend zoned or a step?
Alright will do imma hang out with her tn. One of the reasons was because i thought she was asleep but i know that is some bullshit. i think it is also partially due to the fact that usually i dont care about the girl like she is just some slut but she is smart and i like that are a little more invested. I know i just need to shut up stop being a bitch and do it.
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2016 03:34 PM by Jtguthrie12.)
02-06-2016 03:24 PM
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Post: #5
RE: Friend zoned or a step?
She wants you.

Escalate.

Seriously, just escalate, kiss her; I am kinda baffled that you passed the bed- situation up. Do not think she will say something like ''just kiss me'' or that, she is giving herself to you as much as she can without her feeling like a slut herself (rationalization hamster).

Quote:''I expected all you meetup attendees to be basement- dwelling neckbeards.'' - Random SJW who was a neckbeard himself on February 6th Meetup Day.
02-07-2016 12:40 PM
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Post: #6
RE: Friend zoned or a step?
As Red Pillage stated..you're over thinking it. Look around. There are over 7 billion people on the planet. Each one is the result of a guy putting his pee pee in a chicks hooha hole at least once. Happens millions times a day everyday.

As mentioned above you need to escalate full throttle next time your up to bat. It's likely your last chance

You're infinitely more likely to "blow it" by NOT escalating fast enough than too fast

Here's why: A chicks attraction (desire) wiring is closely linked to her thrill (fear) aka "tingles" emotional center. If you don't ratchet up the "tingles"(chick crack) she will lose her attraction for you. And just like a drug addiction there's only so far you can keep ratcheting the tingles up without sex.

Part of her attraction for you is based on your attraction for her. It's the unspoken tension that stimulates that attraction.

Just remember your "window" into her panties is always smaller than you think.

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(This post was last modified: 02-07-2016 01:09 PM by PapayaTapper.)
02-07-2016 01:06 PM
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Post: #7
RE: Friend zoned or a step?
(02-06-2016 01:10 PM)Jtguthrie12 Wrote:  Okay known this girl for a while. Had my chances before but got high and passed up on the sure thing. I didn't talk to her for a few weeks then she texted me out of nowhere and we scheduled a sorta date which was a motorcycle ride. We went on the ride and it was good she was rubbing me on the bike and I her. (To stay warm) but it felt like a little more then that. Went back to my homies pad drank some beer she was never really sitting too close to me but i was still touching her and rubbing her leg and she wasnt moving away then we went back to her pad.

So we ended up spooning on the couch rubbing each others legs back etc holding hands then we fell asleep. In the middle of the night we moved to the bed and were still cuddling. Woke up and still cuddling had some good conversations and flirting but we never kissed or anything. We are supposed to go on another ride later today. So based on all of that would you guys say I'm friend zoned or was that a step and I should still make advances later with her?

Need your help.



I'm a bit curious about how you concluded that you possibly could be friend-zoned, in a situation in which there seems to be quite a bit of ongoing physical intimacy.


Surely, escalation can help you to determine how far and how fast to go, but you do not necessarily need to escalate right away, if you feel that you need to get a bit more comfortable with her.

Don't get me wrong, there is a certain value to fast escalation; however, if you take a few meetings (or even a few weeks) to get the bang, or if you just escalate slowly and don't go for the bang right away, if she is letting you escalate, then you should realize that you have not been friend-zoned, yet.

I think that a lot of guys correctly conclude if you are too pussy or slow in your attempts at escalation, then a girl is going to lose some respect for you and may not want to escalate later. So usually it will be better to attempt to escalate too quickly rather than attempting to escalate too slow.

For example, the same is true in social dancing with a girl. A large majority of the time, it is better to receive feedback from a girl that you are too rough or too forceful, rather than too wimpy. if a girl begins to perceive you as too wimpy, her flow of juices will dry up.

With anything, there is a balance, because through your actions, you want to be perceived as strong and assertive and direction oriented. Yes, sometimes you can let off a bit and get some physical and verbal feedback from the girl, and sometimes girls believe it is their duty to provide some resistance, but their various demonstrations of resistance should not be perceived as either that they friend-zoned you or that they are not interested (especially once she has already gone down various physical intimacy paths with you).
02-08-2016 03:43 AM
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Post: #8
RE: Friend zoned or a step?
One thing I have learned is that its better to go with it and take the rejection than live with "I wonder..", plus even if she rejects you at that time she will see that you will play no games and agressive, you can leave a mark on her mind and she could end up calling you at a later time, always go for it.
02-08-2016 03:43 PM
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Jtguthrie12 Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Friend zoned or a step?
Thanks for all the help dudes. I learned from a friend that she is still talking to her ex since they broke up like a month ago. Next time i see her ill escalate but im not sure when that will be.

But failure is just learning what i shouldnt do next time and i intend to not let it go to waste.

I'm joining a fraternity so that should open me up to many more oppurtunities
02-09-2016 05:02 AM
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southern120 Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Friend zoned or a step?
   

Escalate, just escalate.
(This post was last modified: 02-09-2016 08:10 AM by southern120.)
02-09-2016 08:09 AM
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Phoenix Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Friend zoned or a step?
For a newbie, the basics:
1) Attempt to kiss. If rebuffed try again in a few minutes or so (or less if she seems excited). Repeat until she accepts or she leaves. Then:
2) Attempt to grab boob. If rebuffed, as above.
3) Attempt to grab crotch. If rebuffed, as above.
4) Attempt to remove clothes. If rebuffed, as above.
5) Repeat 2 & 3 on bare skin.
6) Rub pussy, suckle titties, more kissing.
7) Put on condom, which you will have close by. You don't need to say anything whilst doing this.
8) Stick it in.
02-09-2016 08:23 AM
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RE: Friend zoned or a step?
(02-09-2016 05:02 AM)Jtguthrie12 Wrote:  Thanks for all the help dudes. I learned from a friend that she is still talking to her ex since they broke up like a month ago. Next time i see her ill escalate but im not sure when that will be.

But failure is just learning what i shouldnt do next time and i intend to not let it go to waste.

I'm joining a fraternity so that should open me up to many more oppurtunities


I imagine that you are in your early 20s.

I am in my late 40s, and still from time to time, I come across new situations with chicks, and sometimes I have to grapple a little bit regarding how to handle the situation.

Certainly, it becomes a lot easier when you have gone through more scenarios, and you are likely in a much better place than i was in my early 20s because you are consciously considering ways in which to improve your technics and tactics, rather than being resigned to "whatever happens, happens."

Don't get me wrong, I had quite a few opportunities in my 20s and several successes; however, on reflection, I realize that I screwed up a lot, and I also screwed up a lot in repeatable ways (mostly by not being assertive enough).

One more thing. You do not really need to follow exactly any guy's suggestions in the forum, yet the forum provides a considerable number of brainstorming opportunities for you to attempt to put techniques into practice in a way that is comfortable for you. Sure, you still may screw up, but if you are paying attention and trying, it is almost inevitable that you are going to get better and quicker on your feet in strange situation (and for the most part, girls love that you already are ready - even though you may fake it a bit in order to not scare her too much Laugh)
02-09-2016 02:21 PM
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RE: Friend zoned or a step?
(02-09-2016 08:23 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  For a newbie, the basics:
1) Attempt to kiss. If rebuffed try again in a few minutes or so (or less if she seems excited). Repeat until she accepts or she leaves. Then:
2) Attempt to grab boob. If rebuffed, as above.
3) Attempt to grab crotch. If rebuffed, as above.
4) Attempt to remove clothes. If rebuffed, as above.
5) Repeat 2 & 3 on bare skin.
6) Rub pussy, suckle titties, more kissing.
7) Put on condom, which you will have close by. You don't need to say anything whilst doing this.
8) Stick it in.



Haahahahahaha.. .


I like this.



I think that this can work for both newbies and more experienced guys.

Sometimes, when we are caught in the moment, we forget "the basics." Laugh
02-09-2016 02:23 PM
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