Tickets On Sale For Last 5 Cities Of Roosh's Tour! Early bird pricing ends soon for Miami, Orlando, Atlanta, Nashville, and Charlotte. Click here for details.

Post Reply 
Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Author Message
samsamsam Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 9,157
Joined: Feb 2013
Reputation: 94
Post: #76
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-54758.html

She says she is a supermodel.

Fate whispers to the warrior, "You cannot withstand the storm." And the warrior whispers back, "I am the storm."

Women and children can be careless, but not men - Don Corleone

Great RVF Comments | Where Evil Resides | How to upload, etc. | New Members Read This 1 | New Members Read This 2
(This post was last modified: 03-28-2016 08:30 PM by samsamsam.)
03-28-2016 08:29 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Suits Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 9,741
Joined: Feb 2013
Reputation: 240
Post: #77
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
(03-28-2016 08:29 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-54758.html

She says she is a supermodel.

She was probably forced to become a supermodel, because she couldn't afford Obamacare on a regular model's income.

I'm the King of Beijing!
03-28-2016 08:35 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 6 users Like Suits's post:
Ibagemyoutagem, J. Spice, Requiem, Tactician, the Thing, spokepoker
Gopher Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 265
Joined: May 2013
Reputation: 2
Post: #78
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes


03-28-2016 10:42 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Gopher's post:
Irenicus
TheMaleBrain Offline
Wingman
***
Gold Member

Posts: 776
Joined: Jun 2015
Reputation: 15
Post: #79
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
[Image: e0deab34-87a3-4588-bfd1-912adc4eb345-original.jpeg]

"I love a fulfilling and sexual relationship. That is why I make the effort to have many of those" - TheMaleBrain
"Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb." - Spaceballs
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine" - Obi-Wan Kenobi
03-29-2016 02:16 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like TheMaleBrain's post:
Irenicus, spokepoker, Syberpunk
TheMaleBrain Offline
Wingman
***
Gold Member

Posts: 776
Joined: Jun 2015
Reputation: 15
Post: #80
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
[Image: 84204e14-70bf-4289-8bd0-ad015c389165-original.jpeg]

"I love a fulfilling and sexual relationship. That is why I make the effort to have many of those" - TheMaleBrain
"Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb." - Spaceballs
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine" - Obi-Wan Kenobi
04-01-2016 01:59 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 8 users Like TheMaleBrain's post:
Irenicus, 262, spokepoker, DamienCasanova, Handsome Creepy Eel, Syberpunk, Tactician, Built to Fade
Remington Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,933
Joined: Aug 2013
Reputation: 29
Post: #81
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes



Reporter: What keeps you awake at night?
General James "Mad Dog" Mattis: Nothing, I keep other people awake at night.

OKC Data Sheet
04-01-2016 04:39 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Remington's post:
UlteriorMotive, General Stalin
Irenicus Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,620
Joined: Dec 2015
Reputation: 25
Post: #82
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Rabbit walks into a bar. He yells:

"HEY, WOLF!!"
"What?"
"I JUST FUCKED YOUR WIFE RAW!!"
"You little bastard. Come outside, so that I teach you some respect.."
"DEAL!!"

After 10 minutes, rabbit comes back in, without a single scratch, smiling. Wolf, missing half his teeth, follows suit.

Rabbit yells:

"HEY, LION!!"
"What?"
"I HAD A THREESOME WITH BOTH YOU DAUGHTERS, WHILE YOUR WIFE WAS WATCHING!!!"
"You son of a whore. Come outside, so that I teach you some manners..."
"BRING IT!!"

And after 10 minutes...rabbit comes back in, smiling, and without a single scratch. Lion, missing all his teeth, and limping, follows suit.

Not one minute passed, and Bear comes in, very pissed. He yells:

"LISTEN UP FOOLS!!. IF SOMEONE DARES TO SAY ANYTHING BAD TO MY GOOD FRIEND RABBIT, HE WILL REGRET THE DAY HE WAS BORN!!!"
(This post was last modified: 07-18-2016 07:27 PM by Irenicus.)
07-18-2016 07:26 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
NapoleonDynamighty Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 151
Joined: Jun 2016
Reputation: 29
Post: #83
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
What do you call a black woman who's had 7 abortions ?

A Crimefighter


ps: I am black Big Grin
07-18-2016 07:35 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like NapoleonDynamighty's post:
spokepoker, Ruslan, Handsome Creepy Eel, coverdoc
NapoleonDynamighty Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 151
Joined: Jun 2016
Reputation: 29
Post: #84
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Why do jews have long nose ?

Because the air is free .

ps: I am jewish
(This post was last modified: 07-18-2016 07:40 PM by NapoleonDynamighty.)
07-18-2016 07:39 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like NapoleonDynamighty's post:
spokepoker, Handsome Creepy Eel
NapoleonDynamighty Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 151
Joined: Jun 2016
Reputation: 29
Post: #85
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
What is the worst thing about being black and jew ?

Not being able to count the money you steal .

ps: I am a black jew
07-18-2016 07:40 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 17 users Like NapoleonDynamighty's post:
spokepoker, J. Spice, Suits, Seth_Rose, Rhyme or Reason, RedPillUK, Ruslan, DamienCasanova, Beau, Handsome Creepy Eel, Prince Machiavelli, Syberpunk, TrifeLife, Banna, bootyhuntah, the Thing, coverdoc
Hazaer Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 741
Joined: Sep 2015
Reputation: 6
Post: #86
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Do you guys use jokes when you open a girl? If it works, do share some. Some of the jokes above are good but I think they might offend someone whose friend might be of that race or religion etc.

I will start with one, not mine though: Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man? Ans: 'Bro, how do you even breathe through that thing?!' I was thinking this is just a little sexual without poking fun of anybody. Not sure if it will turn women off though.. Your views?

Thanks.
(This post was last modified: 07-28-2016 05:43 AM by Hazaer.)
07-28-2016 05:21 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Matsufubu Offline
Alpha Male
****

Posts: 1,257
Joined: Nov 2015
Reputation: 24
Post: #87
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
I'm thinking that will immediately associate you in her mind with a small penis. Possibly try another approach.
07-28-2016 06:25 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Matsufubu's post:
Handsome Creepy Eel
CynicalContrarian Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 7,442
Joined: Aug 2015
Reputation: 22
Post: #88
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Fat (heavy) chicks give new meaning to the phrase - "Do you even lift bro?"
07-28-2016 06:57 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
CynicalContrarian Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 7,442
Joined: Aug 2015
Reputation: 22
Post: #89
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Ouch :

@JeremyOreo Jul 26
I saw two homeless people kissing. I yelled, "Get a room!"
07-28-2016 07:02 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like CynicalContrarian's post:
spokepoker, Avadhuta
Suits Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 9,741
Joined: Feb 2013
Reputation: 240
Post: #90
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Two ditch diggers are sweating it out in the trenches, digging yet another ditch for their corporate overlords. Finally, one of them has enough and says,

"What the fuck am I doing digging a ditch for $10 an hour just to try to pay for Obamacare while that asshole CEO sits in an air-conditioned office earning $1000 hour to tell others what to do?"

His compatriot responses, "Shucks make, you're right. Whatcha gonna do about it?"

"I'm going to go to the top floor at headquarters and give our CEO a piece of my mind."

So, the bedraggled ditch-digger climbs out of the ditch, dusts himself off and takes a trip back to HQ, where he takes the elevator up to the 28th floor.

There he shoves his way past a receptionist and encounters the CEO, who he corners and asks, "What the fuck am I doing digging a ditch for $10 an hour just to try to pay for Obamacare while you sit in an air-conditioned office earning $1000 hour to tell others what to do?"

The CEO isn't phased at all. He answers, "Great question, let me answer it for you."

The CEO then puts his hand in-front on an ornate exposed brick wall and says, "Punch my hand."

The ditch-digger winds up and delivers a powerful blow, but at the last possible moment, the CEO pulls back his hand and all the ditch-digger succeeds in doing is punching the exposed brick wall.

"Owwwww, my hand!" bellows the ditch-digger.

"Does that answer your question?" asks the CEO.

"Sure does!" responds the ditch-digger, as he nurses his bruised hand.

The ditch-digger thanks the CEO and then heads back to his ditch-digging project where his co-worker asks, "What did the CEO say?"

"Let me show you," answers the first ditch-digger, placing his hand in-front of his face. "Punch my hand."

I'm the King of Beijing!
(This post was last modified: 07-28-2016 08:47 AM by Suits.)
07-28-2016 08:46 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like Suits's post:
Handsome Creepy Eel, spokepoker, Built to Fade, Davidovich
aeroektar Offline
Alpha Male
****

Posts: 1,235
Joined: Jul 2014
Reputation: 13
Post: #91
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Why is diarrhea hereditary?
-Because it runs in your genes.

I found out my toaster isnt waterproof the other day.
-I was shocked.
07-28-2016 09:59 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes aeroektar's post:
spokepoker
Kona Offline
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 5,449
Joined: Aug 2009
Reputation: 144
Post: #92
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
How do you get a redneck to suck your dick?

Dip it in ranch.

Aloha!
07-28-2016 01:20 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Matsufubu Offline
Alpha Male
****

Posts: 1,257
Joined: Nov 2015
Reputation: 24
Post: #93
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
I forgot how to throw a boomerang...but then it came back to me.

Conjunctivitis.com: a site for sore eyes

My wedding was so beautiful...the cake was in tiers

What do you call a nose without a body? Nobody nose.

To the guy who invented zero: thanks for nothing
07-28-2016 01:26 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Matsufubu's post:
Hazaer, spokepoker, Built to Fade
Kona Offline
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 5,449
Joined: Aug 2009
Reputation: 144
Post: #94
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
(07-28-2016 08:46 AM)Suits Wrote:  Two ditch diggers are sweating it out in the trenches, digging yet another ditch for their corporate overlords. Finally, one of them has enough and says,

"What the fuck am I doing digging a ditch for $10 an hour just to try to pay for Obamacare while that asshole CEO sits in an air-conditioned office earning $1000 hour to tell others what to do?"

His compatriot responses, "Shucks make, you're right. Whatcha gonna do about it?"

"I'm going to go to the top floor at headquarters and give our CEO a piece of my mind."

So, the bedraggled ditch-digger climbs out of the ditch, dusts himself off and takes a trip back to HQ, where he takes the elevator up to the 28th floor.

There he shoves his way past a receptionist and encounters the CEO, who he corners and asks, "What the fuck am I doing digging a ditch for $10 an hour just to try to pay for Obamacare

Suits met a nice girl and drove her way out into the woods. They had some great sex the backseat of his car.

After they were done the girl says " im actually a hooker, and inorder to pay for obamacare, i need $100.

Suits then turns to her and says " well im a taxi driver, and in order to pay for obamacare, i need $200."

Aloha!
07-28-2016 02:18 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 5 users Like Kona's post:
Suits, heavy, Tactician, the Thing, spokepoker
Matsufubu Offline
Alpha Male
****

Posts: 1,257
Joined: Nov 2015
Reputation: 24
Post: #95
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Knock knock

Who's there?

Obamacare
07-28-2016 03:38 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Matsufubu's post:
the Thing, spokepoker
DJ-Matt Offline
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 3,273
Joined: Dec 2013
Reputation: 28
Post: #96
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
A man walks into a zoo

The only animal there was a dog

It was a shh-tzu

Team visible roots
"The Carousel Stops For No Man" - Tuthmosis
(02-11-2019 05:10 PM)Atlanta Man Wrote:  I take pussy how it comes -but I do now prefer it shaved low at least-you cannot eat what you cannot see.
07-28-2016 05:05 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Charles Martel Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 163
Joined: Oct 2014
Reputation: 4
Post: #97
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
How did copper wire get invented?

Two Jews, fighting over a penny.

How did the Grand Canyon form?

Many, many years ago, a Jew accidentally dropped a quarter down a rabbit hole.

What do you call two Italians, an Asian and three black guys sitting in a circle?

A sprinkler.

[wait for confused look/courtesy laugh]

Wop. Wop. CHINK! niggerniggernigger

Contrary to expectations, the AIDS crisis hasn’t yet killed all of the world’s performance artists.

-Jim Goad
07-29-2016 01:30 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Charles Martel's post:
spokepoker
YoungBlade Away
True Player
*****

Posts: 2,846
Joined: Sep 2015
Reputation: 54
Post: #98
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
There were once two prawns - Justin and Christian.

They were good friends, and had good times together, but spent most of their time swimming away from hungry sharks.

One day, Justin had had enough. He cried, "I wish I was a shark so I wouldn't worry about being eaten!"

A mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is my command!" Suddenly, Justin was a fearsome shark! Christian was naturally terrified, and swam off because he didn't want to be eaten by his former friend.

As time went by, Justin found shark life to be dull. Sure, he didn't have to worry about being eaten, but he was lonely, missing his good friend Christian. Finally, he had had enough, and cried, "I wish I was a prawn like before!"

The mysterious cod appeared once more and said, "Very well!" Justin found himself to be a prawn again. He was overjoyed, and swam immediately to Christian's home in the coral. He knocked on Christian's door. "Christian!" he shouted, "Christian! It's me Justin! Let me in!"

"No way!" Christian shouted back. "You're trying to trick me, I don't want to be eaten!"

"No, it's not like that!" said Justin. "I'm not a shark anymore, that was the old me! I found Cod! I'm a prawn again, Christian!"

YoungBlade's HEMA Datasheet
Tabletop Role-playing Games
Barefoot walking (earthing) datasheet
Occult/Wicca/Pagan Girls Datasheet

Havamal 77

Cows die,
family die,
you will die the same way.
I know only one thing
that never dies:
the reputation of the one who's died.
10-15-2017 06:29 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 7 users Like YoungBlade's post:
DJ-Matt, King of Monkeys, Kona, Werekoala, Tactician, spokepoker, Built to Fade
Spectrumwalker Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 705
Joined: Dec 2013
Reputation: 49
Post: #99
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
What do Paul Walker and Philip Seymour Hoffman have in common?




They both died hitting black tar.

Dreams are like horses; they run wild on the earth. Catch one and ride it. Throw a leg over and ride it for all its worth.
Psalm 25:7
https://youtu.be/vHVoMCH10Wk
10-15-2017 06:33 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Spectrumwalker's post:
Rhyme or Reason
CynicalContrarian Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 7,442
Joined: Aug 2015
Reputation: 22
Post: #100
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
For awhile there the joke was :

"Does Bruce Jenner have the balls to cut off his own cock?"

Now that ol' Bruce has had the surgery the joke is :

"Bruce Jenner had the balls to cut off his own cock...
Turns out he is brave; in a very crazy sense."
(This post was last modified: 10-15-2017 07:52 PM by CynicalContrarian.)
10-15-2017 07:51 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  Batwoman.... Read the comments for a good laugh! Lovinglife 99 13,616 06-17-2019 06:51 PM
Last Post: MrLemon
  Share Of American Adults Having NO Sex Reaches All-Time High Rakers 281 38,204 05-06-2019 12:32 PM
Last Post: tugofpeace
  Wong Fu Laugh Thread Waqqle 15 2,235 02-05-2019 08:33 AM
Last Post: etwsake

Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | RooshV.com | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication