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Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #276
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
It's really frustrating reading german novels. You have no idea what's actually going on until the last couple of pages, where all the verbs are.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

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01-05-2018 08:31 PM
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Post: #277
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Little Johnny comes in to where his dad is sitting watching TV

LJ "Dad whats the difference between a pussy and a cunt?"

Dad. "Thats easy. Go ask your mom to show you where you came from"

Little Johnny runs upstairs to find his mom then comes back shocked expression on his face. Before he can say anything dad says

Dad "Now go ask your sister to show you what all the boys want"

Little Johnny runs upstairs to find his sister then comes back with an even more shocked expression on his face. Before he can say anything dad says

Dad "So there you have it son."

LJ "Uhhh ok...I dont understand?"

Dad "What your mom and your sister showed you was their pussy. Everything else attached to it was the cunt"

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
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"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

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01-05-2018 08:54 PM
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Remington Offline
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Post: #278
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
What does Hillary Clinton and your dick have in common?

They're both stuck up assholes.

Reporter: What keeps you awake at night?
General James "Mad Dog" Mattis: Nothing, I keep other people awake at night.

OKC Data Sheet
01-10-2018 10:11 AM
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ed pluribus unum Offline
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Post: #279
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
If Turkey was going to invade Italy from the rear, would Greece help?

"Intellectuals are naturally attracted by the idea of a planned society, in the belief that they will be in charge of it" -Roger Scruton
01-17-2018 06:30 AM
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Eddie Winslow Offline
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Post: #280
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
I was banging a girl from behind last night and slipped a finger in her ass.

Girl: Eddie!! What the fuck are you doing!!?

Me: Mining Buttcoin.

Girl: Oh. (Gets FOMO and sticks a finger in her ass too)
01-18-2018 09:26 AM
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Post: #281
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?

They can both smell it but aren't allowed to eat it.
01-18-2018 11:54 PM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #282
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
I believe that we can fight collectivism.....together!

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

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01-19-2018 08:45 PM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #283
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
When it comes to native indians, I have reservations.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

http://inspiredentrepreneur.weebly.com/
01-26-2018 01:32 PM
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Kona Offline
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Post: #284
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
I just heard this classic:

What did the Mexican fireman name his kids? Jose and Hose B.

Aloha!
02-12-2018 06:10 PM
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Syberpunk Offline
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Post: #285
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
[Image: 1468734_840195962681388_1362588760_n.jpg]

There is nothing else you will ever need to read on self improvement, but this, the greatest thread post in history follows in the link below, REQUIRED READING. READ TO END.

Here you go, There is nothing else you will ever need to read on self improvement, but this

"I write only when inspiration strikes," he replied. "Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o'clock sharp.

OUR LIVES ARE WRITTEN IN PEN NOT PENCIL, not because we should want to forget but remember, so be absolutely sure about what you write.
02-12-2018 07:01 PM
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SamuelBRoberts Offline
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Post: #286
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
What's the difference between a dilapidated place where people wait for the bus, and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a rusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
02-12-2018 07:09 PM
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Sombro Offline
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Post: #287
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother 'Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today!'
Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, 'It reminded me of a peanut.'
Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, 'Really small, was it?'
Sally replied, 'No... salty!'
02-12-2018 07:59 PM
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MrTickle Offline
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Post: #288
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to a hot woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto, Tonto Kawalski".
02-13-2018 04:39 AM
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SamuelBRoberts Offline
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Post: #289
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
02-13-2018 04:55 AM
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ed pluribus unum Offline
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Post: #290
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Build a man a fire, keep him warm for a day;

Set a man on fire, keep him warm for the rest of his life.

"Intellectuals are naturally attracted by the idea of a planned society, in the belief that they will be in charge of it" -Roger Scruton
02-15-2018 07:50 PM
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Dusty Offline
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Post: #291
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?

Yeah, he doesn’t believe in dog.

Take care of those titties for me.
(This post was last modified: 02-15-2018 10:05 PM by Dusty.)
02-15-2018 09:55 PM
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Kona Offline
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Post: #292
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
(02-15-2018 09:55 PM)Dusty Wrote:  Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?

Yeah, he doesn’t believe in dog.

That same dyslexic guy decided to go full devil worshipper and sold his soul to Santa.

Edit: Then he went to a toga party dressed up like a goat.

Edit2: Then he called me up and said "Kona I went to the doctor today and he says I got the big C" I said "Oh cancer, that's terrible" and he said " No dyslexia."

Aloha!
(This post was last modified: 02-15-2018 11:20 PM by Kona.)
02-15-2018 11:14 PM
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Dusty Offline
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Post: #293
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
(02-15-2018 11:14 PM)Kona Wrote:  
(02-15-2018 09:55 PM)Dusty Wrote:  Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?

Yeah, he doesn’t believe in dog.

That same dyslexic guy decided to go full devil worshipper and sold his soul to Santa.

Edit: Then he went to a toga party dressed up like a goat.

Edit2: Then he called me up and said "Kona I went to the doctor today and he says I got the big C" I said "Oh cancer, that's terrible" and he said " No dyslexia."

Aloha!

Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!!

Take care of those titties for me.
02-15-2018 11:21 PM
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Kona Offline
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Post: #294
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
(02-15-2018 11:21 PM)Dusty Wrote:  
(02-15-2018 11:14 PM)Kona Wrote:  
(02-15-2018 09:55 PM)Dusty Wrote:  Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?

Yeah, he doesn’t believe in dog.

That same dyslexic guy decided to go full devil worshipper and sold his soul to Santa.

Edit: Then he went to a toga party dressed up like a goat.

Edit2: Then he called me up and said "Kona I went to the doctor today and he says I got the big C" I said "Oh cancer, that's terrible" and he said " No dyslexia."

Aloha!

Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!!

Seriously though, being dyslexic is tough. I'll never forget the day they told me. 8991 Yam, rd23. That was a rough day.

Aloha!
02-15-2018 11:28 PM
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Suits Offline
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Post: #295
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
I get the feeling that Kona has more dyslexia jokes than stolen beer cans from Walmart.

I'm the King of Beijing!
(This post was last modified: 02-16-2018 12:11 AM by Suits.)
02-15-2018 11:50 PM
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ivansirko Offline
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Post: #296
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
hmmmm

[Image: i-have-sex-daily-sorry-dyslexia.jpg]
02-15-2018 11:53 PM
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Matsufubu Offline
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Post: #297
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
"WHAT DO WE WANT?"

"A CURE FOR TOURETTES!"

"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?"

"CUNTS!"
02-16-2018 03:07 PM
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Dusty Offline
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Post: #298
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
(02-16-2018 03:07 PM)Matsufubu Wrote:  "WHAT DO WE WANT?"

"A CURE FOR TOURETTES!"

"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?"

"CUNTS!"


"WHAT DO WE WANT?"

"A CURE FOR DYSLEXIA!"

"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?”

"WON!”

Take care of those titties for me.
02-16-2018 03:55 PM
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Dusty Offline
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Post: #299
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
My wife had one of those near death experiences on Sunday. Yeah, she started vacuuming during the game.

My gender studies professor told me I need to view the world from a woman’s perspective. So I looked out the kitchen window.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

Take care of those titties for me.
02-24-2018 01:46 PM
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eljeffster Offline
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Post: #300
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Why is Jesus the greatest man to ever live? He is the only one whose second coming will be greater than his first.
02-24-2018 03:32 PM
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