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Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
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Bazzwaldo Offline
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Post: #326
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Whats blue and doesn't fit?
A dead epileptic
06-12-2018 06:55 AM
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Zep Offline
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Post: #327
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
I haven't laughed at a clip this hard for a while - starts around the one minute mark.



(This post was last modified: 07-20-2018 10:04 AM by Zep.)
07-20-2018 09:21 AM
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Suits Offline
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Post: #328
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Aren't jokes supposed to be funny and have some element of a twist?

I'm the King of Beijing!
07-20-2018 10:34 AM
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Zep Offline
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Post: #329
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
*sigh*

ok then,

Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
A: Cha Ching!

Q: What has 2 wings and a halo?
A: A Chinese telephone, Wing-wing, halo?

Q: What do you call a Chinese rapper?
A: Vanilla Rice

There.
07-20-2018 10:43 AM
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Cation Offline
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Post: #330
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Zep, don't you think it's better to put the original video?



And btw, thank you. I like Jim, but I didn't see this clip.
(This post was last modified: 07-20-2018 01:31 PM by Cation.)
07-20-2018 01:31 PM
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DamienCasanova Offline
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Post: #331
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
How do you get a hipster to eat a Hot Dog?

Put it in a Man Bun!
07-20-2018 01:41 PM
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Teedub Offline
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Post: #332
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
What's the difference between a black man and a park bench?

A park bench can raise a family.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. - H L Mencken
07-20-2018 02:45 PM
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Zep Offline
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Post: #333
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
(07-20-2018 01:31 PM)Cation Wrote:  Zep, don't you think it's better to put the original video?

Not for me.

Black dudes have flava yo! lol.

He's the kind of guy I'd have at my party; he's chill, laughs easily, I enjoy the bit more because of his reaction to it.

Plus, I used to work in a nightclub with an old black dude, I used to make him laugh hard with crazy shit I'd say to him. I remember him fondly, bent over, catching his breath, saying "ohhh, ohhhh...you crazy". Laugh

-------

Q: What do you call a Chinese woman with an opinion?

A: WONG!
(This post was last modified: 07-21-2018 02:02 PM by Zep.)
07-21-2018 02:02 PM
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Spectrumwalker Offline
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Post: #334
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
What's the difference between Jews and Boys Scouts?

Boy scouts come back from camp.



What's the difference between Santa Clause and Jews?

Santa Claus comes down the chimney.

Banana

Dreams are like horses; they run wild on the earth. Catch one and ride it. Throw a leg over and ride it for all its worth.
Psalm 25:7
https://youtu.be/vHVoMCH10Wk
07-21-2018 04:55 PM
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abscondere Offline
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Post: #335
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
The immigrant needs to pass his English test by using the words green, pink and yellow in one sentence.

He says "the phone goes green green green, I pink it up and say yellow"
07-22-2018 07:05 AM
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JekyllAndHyde Offline
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Post: #336
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Do dad jokes count?





Dad, What Time Is It?

It's Time For You To Get a Damn WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH!
07-22-2018 09:27 AM
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YoungBlade Away
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Post: #337
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Orion's Belt is a waist of space

YoungBlade's HEMA Datasheet
Tabletop Role-playing Games
Barefoot walking (earthing) datasheet
Occult/Wicca/Pagan Girls Datasheet

Havamal 77

Cows die,
family die,
you will die the same way.
I know only one thing
that never dies:
the reputation of the one who's died.
07-23-2018 12:14 PM
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ed pluribus unum Online
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Post: #338
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
What do you call five Mexicans in a pool?

Cinco!

"Intellectuals are naturally attracted by the idea of a planned society, in the belief that they will be in charge of it" -Roger Scruton
07-23-2018 09:47 PM
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Post: #339
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
What did the Mexican fireman name his kids? Hose A and hose B.

Aloha!
07-23-2018 10:00 PM
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Bazzwaldo Offline
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Post: #340
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
This joke is a visual one

Big Mac, an overweight guy goes to his doctor and asks
Doctor, Ive tried everything, whats the best way to lose weight, Ive tried everything!
The doctor looks at Mac and says
Sir, the latest peer reviewed literature suggests shoving your food up your backside for a week
Two weeks go by and Big Mac comes back to the surgery showing signs of significant weight loss
Walking into the Docs office he notices not only Mac's weight loss but his mincing short walk
Doc says, Mac, are you ok?
Mac says, Im fine doc just sucking on a minty
07-28-2018 05:58 AM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #341
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
[Image: 870325184397058048]

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

http://inspiredentrepreneur.weebly.com/
07-29-2018 03:02 PM
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sterlingarcher Offline
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Post: #342
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
A guy goes.for a job interview.

The interviewer asks; 'so what are your weaknesses?'

The guy says ' well, I'd have to say my honesty'

Interviewer;. 'well, I don't think your honesty will be a problem....'

Guy; 'I don't give a fuck what you think'
07-29-2018 03:42 PM
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sterlingarcher Offline
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Post: #343
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
...
(This post was last modified: 07-29-2018 04:03 PM by sterlingarcher.)
07-29-2018 04:01 PM
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Vienna Offline
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Post: #344
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Modern parents are afraid of two things:

1. What their son downloads

2. What their daughter uploads
08-30-2018 08:52 AM
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Built to Fade Away
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Post: #345
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Her Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me any more. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His Diary:
Motorcycle won't start...can't figure out why.
08-30-2018 05:30 PM
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Sgt Donger Offline
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Post: #346
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Here's a nice clean one that girls seem to like:

Q. Why was 6 scared?

A. Because 7 8 9
08-30-2018 07:07 PM
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Avadhuta Offline
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Post: #347
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
Meeting IRL for drinks for the first time:

Her: So what do you do?
Me: I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers.
Her: Wow, that's quite impressive!
Me: Next, I'll move on to Libras.

***

Today I was beaten up by a woman...
I was in the elevator when a busty lady got in.
I was staring at her boobs, when she said, "Would you please press 1?"

So I did...

I don't remember much afterwards.
(This post was last modified: 08-30-2018 07:50 PM by Avadhuta.)
08-30-2018 07:22 PM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #348
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
[Image: 882311377963982848]

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

http://inspiredentrepreneur.weebly.com/
09-01-2018 11:05 AM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #349
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
There's going to be a sequel to Groundhog Day next year. It'll be called Groundhog Day.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

http://inspiredentrepreneur.weebly.com/
09-05-2018 06:45 AM
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Built to Fade Away
Woodpecker
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Post: #350
RE: Let's have a laugh - share some jokes
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners and asked her students the following question:

“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

Michael said, “Just a minute I have to go pee.”

The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”

Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”

“I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment?, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.”

The teacher fainted…
09-05-2018 08:48 AM
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