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Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
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debeguiled Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
Maybe you got your sociopathy from your grandma. In that case, she would be proud.

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”

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04-20-2016 11:40 AM
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sixsix Offline
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Post: #27
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
Quote:Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?


No.

One of your quickest thoughts is worrying about your emotional reaction and that itself is a common emotional reaction to someone you know passing away, even and for some people especially when the person was very close them. Crying is not the gold standard of male emotions despite the twentieth century invention of sensitive masculinity.

Emotions are natural mechanisms to cope with difficult situations and whereas crying girls elicits lots of sympathy the same is not true for men. What does it help to immediately break down and cry?

From my own experiences with terminally ill relatives I can say that hearing the bad news can be a form of relief. Someone you cared about was suffering and has finally found his/her peace. We're all going to leave this world at some point and there's nothing wrong about it when you've lived a good and meaningful life.

My condolences.
04-20-2016 11:50 AM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #28
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
Is not crying and being a sociopath Alpha ?

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04-20-2016 11:50 AM
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Irenicus Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
(Un)fortunately for you, you're not.


I also had a grandmother (rip) who died in 2009. Although we were on good terms, we were not that close, due to the fact that she lived in another country, far away from where I have lived.

I did not cry, but...deep in my heart...I did feel pain. If she was closer to me, I would cry, of course.

Totally normal behavior from my side.

As well as yours.
(This post was last modified: 04-20-2016 12:00 PM by Irenicus.)
04-20-2016 11:58 AM
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JonJon Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
Guys,

I truly appreciate all of the responses. Thank you all.

I realize now that I made this thread in haste.

I should have sat back and reflected more.

Every single post in this thread has helped me put everything in perspective.

Thank you all.
04-20-2016 12:11 PM
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godfather dust Away
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Post: #31
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
Kamikaze is right about sociopath being overused. I've known career criminals who weren't even sociopaths.
04-20-2016 12:21 PM
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Lizard King Offline
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Post: #32
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
He made up this story to get attention.
04-20-2016 04:06 PM
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debeguiled Offline
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Post: #33
RE: Grandmother just passed.
(04-20-2016 12:11 PM)JonJon Wrote:  Guys,

I truly appreciate all of the responses. Thank you all.

I realize now that I made this thread in haste.

I should have sat back and reflected more.

Every single post in this thread has helped me put everything in perspective.

Thank you all.

Cliff's Notes Version: Please stop.

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”

Carl Jung
04-20-2016 04:09 PM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #34
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
I wonder if JonJon and JonBozzzz are the same.

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04-20-2016 05:11 PM
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SamuelBRoberts Offline
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Post: #35
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
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04-20-2016 05:18 PM
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Walker Offline
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Post: #36
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
Lost a sister a little over a year ago. Didn't cry, even when seeing her corpse, but I feel pangs of pain every so often when I see something cool and internally think to myself "she would like that... fuck, she's dead Sad"
04-20-2016 05:21 PM
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TheBlackNarwhal Offline
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Post: #37
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
Lost my maternal grandfather when I was 14. Visited him as often as I could, but his passing was a surprise to my family after he suffered a sudden stroke. Didn't cry, but felt a loss and sadness at the death of a man I admired greatly.

When my aunt died suddenly (of hypertension, she was overweight), I didn't cry. I felt shock but still no great feeling of grievance. What really fucked me up was having my little 10 year old cousin come running and bawling her eyes out into my arms as soon as we came over when we heard the news her mother died. That stuck with me more then my aunt's passing.

Everyone has a different defense mechanism to deal with the passing of loved ones. I feel we're more attuned to dealing with it if they are older and are expected to die before us.
04-20-2016 06:52 PM
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Fortis Away
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Post: #38
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
Nothing new.

The last relative I cried over was my uncle. He died when I was 12. At this point, I've been losing relatives since I was very young, so I don't really worry about it.

I show up, pay my respects and reflect. Other than that, there isn't anything else you can do.

If you didn't cry about your grandmother, it just means you've become hardened. NOthing sociopathic about that.

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
04-20-2016 07:01 PM
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Delta Offline
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Post: #39
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopa
A relationship with a grandparent typically can't be compared to relationships with immediate family. She's indirectly responsible for creating you and helped raise you, so you love and respect her. But I'm betting at this stage, she wasn't really a part of your regular life. Maybe you dutifully called and visited her once in awhile, but you never lived with her or spent tons of time together. So now that she's dead, not much really changes from your perspective, and thus it's hard to feel too affected. I get it.

Also, she was elderly and terminally ill. You know that everyone dies and it was probably time to end her misery, so nothing about this feels like a shock or tragedy.

Sounds perfectly normal to me.
04-20-2016 07:28 PM
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Hades Offline
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Post: #40
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
OP, she died. It's not all about you man.
04-20-2016 07:29 PM
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Glaucon Offline
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Post: #41
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
I did not cried when my grandma died. She was sick for a long time, I already expected it. I just miss her deeply. I am glad I visited her every Eastern and Christmas because I knew there will be a time when I could not anymore.

Deus vult!
04-21-2016 04:05 AM
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Troll King Offline
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Post: #42
RE: Grandmother just passed. I still haven't shed a tear. Does that make me a sociopath?
This probably has more to do with age and biology.

There are a number of hormones related to tear production and they are found in greater supply in women and children. Or in lesser amounts in post-pubescent males due to testosterone and other male hormones.

This is why chicks always seem to be crying "to let the feelings out."

Simply put, a lack of tear production in men doesn't mean you aren't feeling the emotions.

If anything, going by your post it sounds as if you are feeling it or at least coming to terms with it.

Sorry for your loss bro.

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04-21-2016 07:47 AM
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