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How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
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Gyro Offline
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Bug How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
I've been feeling overwhelming negative, anxious, and scared (pretty out of character for me) for this past week. I've been living in a delusional "fantasy" land the past few years and everything is starting to fall apart; real life is starting to settle in. Before I begin, I take full responsibility of my situation...this is no one's fault but my own.

I'm a senior in college and I've pretty much partied away the first four years with nothing to show for it ( I had autistic social skills coming into college and after 3 years of concentrated effort, I have a pretty strong personality now but at the expense of professional development), now I'm feeling the consequences of my actions. I really need some help right now so I'll post a bullet-point post on my background... This is no troll, this is my actual life situation:

--> I'm in my senior year, currently sitting around a 2.4 gpa in Biochem. No internships, no work experience. I JUST turned 22 and have not made a legal dollar yet (outside of donating bone marrow like once).

--> I go to a extremely good undergrad college (like top 10); so most of my friends are landing $90k/year software developer jobs right out of college, getting into high finance, or taking a gap year before medical school....this is really killing me to think about.......not the fact that they're doing well, but the fact that we were on equal playing fields just 3 years ago, and now..... we're not, and i'm left off even worse than some of my HS friends who everyone thought I shot above

--> My parents are not helping me after I graduate...the original deal was I get into medical school and they would pay for everything but this is no longer an option due to my GPA. They're cutting me off at the end of this semester (traditional middle eastern parents who don't give a fuck) so I'm going to have to take a loan to finish up. I've tried to talking to them but no dice. Family-wise, i am all alone now.

--> I don't know how to drive

--> I used to have an alcohol/cocaine problem (albeit this is solved; I still feel weak in some social situations in controlling myself)

--> Really only dated a couple times; i've only recently grown the balls to ask out girls. I've fucked one girl off tinder, and 10 hookers, so it's not like I have any pussy trophies to flash for my hard partying escapades.

--> Health-wise; my physique is still good but I fear I've definitely damaged some organs through cocaine, adderall, testosterone, and alcohol abuse

--> Friend-wise; I have tons right now but I feel like the number is going to dwindle down quick after next year

Some solutions I've undertaken:
--> cut off contact with my frat; I don't blame anyone but myself for my situation...but living in a fraternity is a toxic environment for 2 years (especially a bottom frat).

--> hang-out with nerds now; their motivation helps me study (even if I manage to only score one or two semesters of good grades)

--> cut out my coke/alcohol buddies....these guys' fantasy land college world is coming to an end as well

--> trying to cut out alcohol...... I really need to get off drugs and focus on building from ground zero. Coming into college, I thought alcohol and drugs were "cool" but the opposite is true

--> I scored a sweet business development internship for spring semester; this should help add something to my resume

--> I'm going to apply to summer internships for a R&D or sales position

I guess the goal is to probably work one or two years as an analytical chemist or pharm sales rep if I can score the job, then get an MBA and pivot into finance/equity research. Maybe I can try doing semester-to-semester night classes at a community college for GPA repair in case I decide to do a last minute pivot to med school.

I need some help/guidance on coming up with a way to deal with my situation...how can I push through this? I haven't felt this negative (sad) in a while and I need to find a way where I don't collapse or break down mentally... I haven't felt this alone in a while and I feel like I'm going to be even MORE alone come next semester.

I am for sure going to face "rock bottom" if I don't get my act together... I think the most important thing is to not give into drugs and alcohol.

"Whoever acquires knowledge but does not practice it is as one who ploughs but does not sow."
– Saadi
11-08-2016 12:43 AM
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DarkTriad
GlobalMan Away
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
(11-08-2016 12:43 AM)Gyro Wrote:  --> My parents are not helping me after I graduate...the original deal was I get into medical school and they would pay for everything but this is no longer an option due to my GPA. They're cutting me off at the end of this semester (traditional middle eastern parents who don't give a fuck)

Why should they help you? You've pissed away advantages that the vast majority will never have. They do give a fuck, it's you who hasn't. This is the best thing they can do for you, and the correct decision. No more help from mom and dad. You're 22 and haven't had to earn a dollar in your life, and you haven't even used that massive advantage to focus on school. It's time to grow up, and having to do it yourself is the best way to start.

Americans are dreamers too
(This post was last modified: 11-08-2016 01:11 AM by GlobalMan.)
11-08-2016 12:57 AM
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DarkTriad Offline
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
Hang tough bro. "I complained I had no shoes until I met the man with no feet.". Most of the US population is not graduating with a STEM degree from a top 10 university. 90k is a top 0.01% for a kid graduating college nowadays, so you're not even comparing yourself the the 1%, you're comparing yourself to the 1% of the 1%. You're ahead of the curve, you went to college to learn stuff, and you learned a lot...maybe not the classroom stuff so much, but a lot about life and yourself. The dangers of drugs and alcohol were some of the biggest ones. Getting that square by college will put you ahead of most people right there. Don't let the funk affect you, just start looking at your next step. Get your foot in the door, and you would be amazed at how infrequently the topic of your college GPA will come up in your career. People will care "Can he do the job or not?". "Is he good at what he does?". Ulysses S. Grant graduated bottom of his class, was a miserable alcoholic and failed at just about everything....before becoming a war hero and then President. Just look forward, and look at your positives compared to your competition.
(This post was last modified: 11-08-2016 01:06 AM by DarkTriad.)
11-08-2016 01:06 AM
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Schlep Offline
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon...
https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-55173.html

This is the second thread you started asking for help. I read both posts and think one of your biggest problems is alcohol. Banging sluts off tinder and p4p? Come on bro, your better then that. And stop blaming your problems on your parents. Your 22 years old and in the prime of your life. You only get one chance at this.

Surround yourself with like minded people. Focus on becoming location independent. Follow your dreams...


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11-08-2016 01:07 AM
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Gyro Offline
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon...
(11-08-2016 12:57 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  Why should they help you? You've pissed away advantages that the vast majority will never have. They do give a fuck, it's you who hasn't. This is the best thing they can do for you, and the correct decision. No more help from mom and dad. You're 22 and haven't had to earn a dollar in your life, and you haven't even used that massive advantage to focus on school. It's time to grow up, and having to do it yourself is the best way to start.


Yah I accept full responsibility. I was just stating the situation; if I were my parents I would do the same thing. I was painting a picture that they were pretty adamant on cutting ties, because middle eastern parents are quicker/less empathetic in severing ties with kids who don't meet expectations, and rightfully so.

I definitely need to sit down and get my shit together. I think step one is to get rid of the alcohol, and step two is to start building my professional network one-by-one. Easier said than done, but I guess I need "rock-bottom" to get my shit together.

"Whoever acquires knowledge but does not practice it is as one who ploughs but does not sow."
– Saadi
11-08-2016 02:13 AM
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Gyro Offline
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon...
(11-08-2016 01:07 AM)Schlep Wrote:  https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-55173.html

This is the second thread you started asking for help. I read both posts and think one of your biggest problems is alcohol. Banging sluts off tinder and p4p? Come on bro, your better then that. And stop blaming your problems on your parents. Your 22 years old and in the prime of your life. You only get one chance at this.

Surround yourself with like minded people. Focus on becoming location independent. Follow your dreams...


Yah I agree that alcohol needs to go...no place for that shit in my life, I've already proven to myself I can't control it so I guess it's goodbye to the bottle haha.

I've already staved off tinder and p4p since that thread...I've gone on several dates since then and my internal state of mind is far better than back in april (when that thread was made)....unfortunately, a lot of damage had already been done due to years of negative living and a lot of opportunities were squandered, so now my problem is less mindset but more preparation for rock bottom and extreme professional rebuilding.

I'm going to have to learn the meaning of hard work, and start taking things seriously..no more fantasy delusional living.

"Whoever acquires knowledge but does not practice it is as one who ploughs but does not sow."
– Saadi
11-08-2016 02:20 AM
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Elster Away
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
If at age 22 you think you've hit rock bottom and can't possibly get out you have very low expectations of yourself .
Abusing the bottle and other drugs amongst other habits will eventually lead you down that path but the pesky thing is that short of suicide, self destruction takes annoyingly long to be successfully completed.
I've been told this many times and I guess it is my turn to say it now:
"People in worse situations than you have gotten their head out of shit. Will you deny the chance to prove yourself to yourself that you can too? "

It's only over when your heart ain't beating no more

We move between light and shadow, mutually influencing and being influenced through shades of gray...
(This post was last modified: 11-08-2016 03:06 AM by Elster.)
11-08-2016 03:04 AM
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Suits Offline
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
This isn't the end of the world. Your issues with alcohol could be serious, but if you can stop drinking and focus on stepping up your game, you'll be fine.

Your parents have already paid for all but your last semester of school. Paying your own way for one semester isn't going to kill you.

You are young, so you have lots of time to build. A man needs to know what he is good at and be in the position to maximize his abilities by 30, but you have years still to figure out what that is and build skills in the meantime.

Those years will go quickly, so don't waste them. However, if you work hard going forward, you'll be fine.
11-08-2016 03:16 AM
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Matt3B Offline
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
You're 22 and you've been taking testosterone injections? If you haven't already, cut that shit out. Honestly, that is absolutely bonkers.

Others have said things correctly about the alcohol and El_Gostro has made a good post. Your life is not over.

I think you know what you need to do and are looking for extra validation to accept that you are correct in your thinking.

Seriously though, testosterone injections at 22 years old and most likely younger? Stop that.

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11-08-2016 03:18 AM
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
- Cut the substances immediately - booze and drugs. You say 'I really need to get off the drugs' in your OP. This is how losers think. As you've said, you're well on your way to being one of those, however, there's a proverb I remember seeing TLoO quote on here, that goes something like 'no matter how far you've gone down the wrong road; turn back', and it's good advice. You've realised you've done the wrong thing, and you should turn back immediately - not meander on a little while down a route you know is leading you nowhere.

- Get your GPA up. I don't know much about how the US college system works, but you ought to be able to improve it between now and graduation. Get every point added to it you can. Do extra classes or credits if possible.

- Sales may not be for you - you say you've fucked some tinder slut and then a few hookers because you haven't had the balls to chat up chicks. Cold calling is brutal - much worse than going up to some girl and saying hello. You have to go and ring some guy's doorbell and disrupt him while he's beating his wife, and try to flog him some new double glazing. The good news is you can find out whether you'd be good at it. Talk to a local business, get some fliers, and get a commission based job that you can do in your spare time. Loads of small businesses would LOVE to be able to employ salesmen on those terms.

- Don't cut your friends altogether if you can avoid it. Most will drift away naturally if the friendship is built around booze. One or two might surprise you with how steadfast they'll be. The cost of losing that would be a heavy addition to your already reduced situation.

Encouragingly, you don't seem to be wallowing in self-pity. That is good, it'll get you nowhere. Accept your situation and crack on with doing what you can to make it less bad by the time you leave.
11-08-2016 03:20 AM
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
Get the hell off the drugs . A sober you is the best you.
11-08-2016 03:31 AM
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
I'm failing to see what the problem is here. You're going to an elite college on your parents' dime. Ergo you have no debt. Whatever GPA you graduate with you're still going to have that elite college degree which is valuable in and off itself. You've also got an internship lined up, which suggests that whoever offered it to you doesn't believe you're beyond all hope.

As someone else commented it takes an awful lot of hard work to hit rock bottom. You're nowhere near it.

You need to quit worrying and start doing.

1. Quit drinking
2. Eat healthy and start exercising
3. Get yourself a part time job. Doesn't matter what, but you need to start developing the habits that employers look for.
11-08-2016 07:58 AM
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
Lots of good advice here but on another angle is that as a man you'll regularly go through periods where you think you're hitting rock bottom. This is normal especially when you've taken the red pill. You're constantly challenging your behaviours to match up with your new beliefs and what is inevitable is that they'll have an impact on your identity.

A breakdown of your identity is what causes you to hit rock bottom, your core is rocked as your new beliefs and behaviours don't match up with it. Your identity has to be destroyed and reborn to match those new beliefs and behaviours, this is rock bottom. You recover though with a new identity that understands what you did before was not what you needed or wanted and you become stronger, more fixated on your desires and needs.

It seems you've already had this phase, I'm not even sure why I explained the above. It might possibly help someone else understand the process of a meltdown or being rock bottom in the future. Right now though, I think you know exactly what you need to do, you just needed guys on here to validate you with 'stop the drugs, alcohol, get your GPA up' and so on. Good luck but always remember if this is rock bottom for you, it ain't that bad, only way is up. You're 22 for god sake.

Don't forget to check out my latest post on Return of Kings - 6 Things Indian Guys Need To Understand About Game

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11-08-2016 09:31 AM
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon...
Would you say that part of what you're worried about is that, after making some bad decisions and having some failures, you're starting to doubt your own judgment, and wonder if you're going to continue fucking up due to incompetence? In other words, there's a risk you'll give up because of a lack of morale and self-confidence, and end up hitting rock bottom for that reason?

A man's life trajectory will often be a zigzag pattern of success and failure, where he hits a new low, then bounces back and hits a new high, and then hits another new low after his plans fall apart. At the high points, it's easy to say, "Wow, I am so resourceful and resilient; no matter what happens, I'm always able to bounce back. It's been this way all my life, so I should never give up." At the low points, it's easy to say, "Wow, I'm such a fuck-up; whenever I get opportunities, I find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It's been this way all my life, so I should just give up."

When you hit a new high, it's easy to think, "Wow, I just keep learning and finding ways to achieve greater success than ever, so that my life is a constant march to greater heights. My storehouse of hard-won knowledge and wisdom will continue paying dividends for the rest of my life"; when you hit a new low, it's easy to think, "Wow, even when I stop one self-sabotaging behavior, I just keep finding new ways to fuck up, and now there's so much water under the bridge that I'm not even sure I'll be able to recover this time around." Yet the seeds of the next reversal of fortune are already in the ground and waiting for the conditions that will cause them to sprout.

Our society encourages a view that unless your life is a steady progression along a well-worn path, with no setbacks, you're a loser. For example, in the corporate world, employers expect that your resume will show a logical advancement from junior jobs to more senior jobs in the same field, with each job lasting about five years, and with no mysterious gaps where you served time in prison, went to a mental hospital, or got fired for surfing porn at work and sat around depressed for months collecting unemployment before you got your shit together again. (Yet millions of Americans have done these things, so in order to avoid mass employment, we have a situation where a large percentage of resumes contain falsified information.)

According to this perfectionist view, because you spent your college years drinking rather than interning, and got a 2.4 average instead of a 3.0 average, it means that you fall short of an established standard that will sometimes be listed as a job or grad school prerequisite. (For CYA purposes, hiring managers and admissions officials have to come up with some kind of objectively measurable standard by which to judge who makes the cut.) Maybe some employers will bring up those issues in job interviews, even though in reality, many if not most college students devote their time to junk activities. Oh well; that's why CareerExcuse was invented.

Also, society says people are supposed to be well-rounded in their strengths, and not have embarrassing weaknesses, especially in the area of social skills. It seems to me, being "socially autistic" means being unable to quickly grasp the dynamics of unfamiliar social situations. It can be learned, but it might be a longer and more painful process, and some stuff you might never grasp unless someone explicitly teaches you. But to survive, you just have to learn a few basics (like how to handle yourself in a job interview) and work around your weakness by developing other strengths.

It's like how some people can sit at a computer and quickly learn all the shortcuts and capabilities of whatever software they're using, while people at the other end of the spectrum of computer skills have to be explicitly told, "When you hit the wrong button and it seems like all your work is gone, actually you just minimized it and can get back to where you were by clicking that little icon at the bottom." These people, whom we might call "computer autists," because they have so much trouble figuring stuff out on their own, are probably never going to be computer gurus, so they're just going to need to find a way to learn the most basic skills and otherwise work around their weakness by finding some job that doesn't involve a lot of computer work.

Some of the people with the most interesting life stories are those who had a lot of weaknesses and failures, and had many points in their lives where everything looked hopeless. They got stuck in a rut where they felt they had nothing to lose, so they went and did something unusual. Not all of them remained losers; some became pioneers. Pioneers are disruptive to the established order, which is why the Establishment has always viewed them as a threat, and encouraged people to view misfits as inferior to their peers. Yet a society without people driven by their discontent to blaze new trails would be very boring:
Mustapha Mond Wrote:Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the over-compensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand.

At least you got a degree in a hard science and discovered the manosphere in your early 20s. You've avoided a bad mistake that many men make (picking a useless degree) and set yourself up to avoid another bad mistake (being a blue pill guy). Mainstream society, of course, doesn't recognize the merit or significance of those decisions, which actually puts you ahead of the curve.
(This post was last modified: 11-08-2016 10:08 AM by Jean Valjean.)
11-08-2016 09:58 AM
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Tigre Offline
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon...
(11-08-2016 02:13 AM)Gyro Wrote:  Yah I accept full responsibility. I was just stating the situation; if I were my parents I would do the same thing. I was painting a picture that they were pretty adamant on cutting ties, because middle eastern parents are quicker/less empathetic in severing ties with kids who don't meet expectations, and rightfully so.


What are your parents' expectations for you, exactly?

Does the drive for a high flying medical career come from within you, or does it come from them?

What is the minimum of achievement that your parents will be satisfied with?

**

Don't cut off your friends completely. You talk about building a professional network. Your friends right now are that network. They might not be doing much now. But where will they be five years from now?

You talk about the idea of doing an MBA in the future. A lot of the benefit of the MBA is the networking. Even though we are talking about undergrad networks here - don't go to extremes and renounce friends when you're so close to graduation.

**

It sounds like most of your problems can be solved by learning moderation and not going to extremes.

This applies to your career expectations, too.
11-08-2016 10:13 AM
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon...
Bro, you sound like a solid candidate for a 12 step program. You have a window of willingness to do something for yourself that might not be here a month from now. I found myself in a similar situation near the end of college and instead continued the party for another 9 years before getting sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Go to some meetings and cut the alcohol out completely. Get a sponsor and start work on creating a life where you don't have to drink and use.

On the job front, as February approaches if the job situation still isn't looking bright consider applying at home improvement stores and garden centers. If you can keep it together throughout the season you'll have a solid resume line that says you did some hard work and kept it together. This is entirely optional but at the very least it lets other people know you aren't averse to work.
11-08-2016 11:47 AM
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
Worth noting, that it isn't the end of the world. I felt similar several years ago and had a GPA almost that bad in a major that, when adjust for how shitty it is vs. your major and my school tier, did about as much good for me. Now I am in a top tier business school headed to final round interviews at several prestigious, high paying, financial firms during the next week. It was hell building up to this but it CAN be done and if I don't come out of this flying high it's because I screwed up now not because I was doomed to begin with.

My advice? Hit the reset button. Take the advice you've been getting here and use it. A great reset button is doing something that is out there. Teach for America, Peace Corps, and the military are all great ways to gain a much more diverse experience while gaining access to a powerful alumni network. I'd see if you can get into Air Force or Army OCS(you need to be clean to pass the screening). It will take care of the next 4 years of your life and if you come out of it with good resume bullets and strong recommendations it will open up some strong exit opportunities.

That might be a bit generic but I give it to you for a reason and that reason is that I was in a similar situation to you where I'd pissed away great opportunities in favor of vices and idleness. Working in the military has some enormously shitty parts but I was able to leverage it to something much better than I would have been able to otherwise.


******

You talk about the idea of doing an MBA in the future. A lot of the benefit of the MBA is the networking. Even though we are talking about undergrad networks here - don't go to extremes and renounce friends when you're so close to graduation.


To be square with you, I would be careful with your expectations here. I was able to get into a top tier program but that was only because I have a military resume which benefits both from positive biases and gives you status as a diversity candidate. Without that advantage You have to look downstream and your opportunities become significantly more limited once you get past top 20, and I wouldn't say it's worth it past top 30. Not to say you won't be able to find some good opportunities but you need to be much more discerning past top 20 schools and you will also find it extremely hard to break into finance/consulting jobs.
(This post was last modified: 11-08-2016 04:29 PM by Easy_C.)
11-08-2016 04:26 PM
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
Quote:How do I prepare for "rock bottom"?

By realizing "rock bottom" is an illusion. If you hit "rock bottom", then you can just say "fuck it" to anything. There's no need to be worried or scared about anything. So drop your ego and live life fearlessly
11-08-2016 05:58 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #19
RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
Dude you are far from rock bottom and you know it. Lots of good advice in this thread.

You know what you have to do anyway.

Clean up your act, work very hard and start acting like a man.

YOu can do this, IF you want to.
11-08-2016 07:32 PM
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MdWanderer Offline
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RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
(11-08-2016 12:43 AM)Gyro Wrote:  I've been feeling overwhelming negative, anxious, and scared (pretty out of character for me) for this past week. I've been living in a delusional "fantasy" land the past few years and everything is starting to fall apart; real life is starting to settle in. Before I begin, I take full responsibility of my situation...this is no one's fault but my own.

I'm a senior in college and I've pretty much partied away the first four years with nothing to show for it ( I had autistic social skills coming into college and after 3 years of concentrated effort, I have a pretty strong personality now but at the expense of professional development), now I'm feeling the consequences of my actions. I really need some help right now so I'll post a bullet-point post on my background... This is no troll, this is my actual life situation:

--> I'm in my senior year, currently sitting around a 2.4 gpa in Biochem. No internships, no work experience. I JUST turned 22 and have not made a legal dollar yet (outside of donating bone marrow like once).

--> I go to a extremely good undergrad college (like top 10); so most of my friends are landing $90k/year software developer jobs right out of college, getting into high finance, or taking a gap year before medical school....this is really killing me to think about.......not the fact that they're doing well, but the fact that we were on equal playing fields just 3 years ago, and now..... we're not, and i'm left off even worse than some of my HS friends who everyone thought I shot above

--> My parents are not helping me after I graduate...the original deal was I get into medical school and they would pay for everything but this is no longer an option due to my GPA. They're cutting me off at the end of this semester (traditional middle eastern parents who don't give a fuck) so I'm going to have to take a loan to finish up. I've tried to talking to them but no dice. Family-wise, i am all alone now.

--> I don't know how to drive

--> I used to have an alcohol/cocaine problem (albeit this is solved; I still feel weak in some social situations in controlling myself)

--> Really only dated a couple times; i've only recently grown the balls to ask out girls. I've fucked one girl off tinder, and 10 hookers, so it's not like I have any pussy trophies to flash for my hard partying escapades.

--> Health-wise; my physique is still good but I fear I've definitely damaged some organs through cocaine, adderall, testosterone, and alcohol abuse

--> Friend-wise; I have tons right now but I feel like the number is going to dwindle down quick after next year

Some solutions I've undertaken:
--> cut off contact with my frat; I don't blame anyone but myself for my situation...but living in a fraternity is a toxic environment for 2 years (especially a bottom frat).

--> hang-out with nerds now; their motivation helps me study (even if I manage to only score one or two semesters of good grades)

--> cut out my coke/alcohol buddies....these guys' fantasy land college world is coming to an end as well

--> trying to cut out alcohol...... I really need to get off drugs and focus on building from ground zero. Coming into college, I thought alcohol and drugs were "cool" but the opposite is true

--> I scored a sweet business development internship for spring semester; this should help add something to my resume

--> I'm going to apply to summer internships for a R&D or sales position

I guess the goal is to probably work one or two years as an analytical chemist or pharm sales rep if I can score the job, then get an MBA and pivot into finance/equity research. Maybe I can try doing semester-to-semester night classes at a community college for GPA repair in case I decide to do a last minute pivot to med school.

I need some help/guidance on coming up with a way to deal with my situation...how can I push through this? I haven't felt this negative (sad) in a while and I need to find a way where I don't collapse or break down mentally... I haven't felt this alone in a while and I feel like I'm going to be even MORE alone come next semester.

I am for sure going to face "rock bottom" if I don't get my act together... I think the most important thing is to not give into drugs and alcohol.

I must honestly say that when I was saw this post, I was reading my own autobiography. Like you, I got into a good college after 4 years of hard work in high school. Like you, my social skills were borderline Asperger's-like. I cockblocked many of my friends by saying stupid shit out of my mouth. Like you, I joined a fraternity which at times weighed me down and was one of the bottom-tiered fraternities at my college. We only had 15 brothers the semester before my graduation. Girls found me more attractive before I joined Greek Life because I was gaming but without the immediate pressure to get laid like you would have in a fraternity. I was going at my own speed and having fun with it. I also was never into hard drugs but I did do a lot of Adderall to assist with late-night studying and a lot of drinking. I also spent countless money going to the bars and hitting on chicks, sometimes four nights a week, with only one lay to show for it that happened my senior year of college with a random bar slut whose name I've since forgotten. Memorable, eh?

I regret the way I spent my college years deeply. I could've used that time to learn a new language, travel more, and focused on my studies to get a well paying job out of college. Gaming and working on your social skills would've been fine, but not at the expense of your professional growth. I spend three years doing odd jobs, putting in applications for fast food restaurants all because I fucked around in college, and was miserable before I joined the Coast Guard. I understand the pressure was probably much greater on the social end since you were in a fraternity. But enough with the stories, now for the advice:

-Don't worry too much about losing your college friends. I know that seems foreign to you now, but I have been out of college for 8 years and I'm close to only one of them. Most of your core friends who will be with you through thick and thin you develop during your middle/high school years anyway.

-Spend the last two semesters getting the best grades you can. As the old saying goes "it's not how your start, it's how you finish!" You will look good to potential employers if you can show them that although you have had a rough start, you were able to finish your college years strong.

-Don't worry about girls too much, they do nothing but slow you down. Being a millennial, it's normal for people not to settle down/go into a serious LTR until their mid-late 30s these days. You're 22, you have eternity to game and get your social skills in order until then. By all means, game and learn how to talk to girls, but at your own pace. Game shouldn't be your life, it should be a nice accessory to your life while you get your education, internships, and money in order. Mix it in with a fun activity that's not strictly centered on gaming, like an outdoor festival, concert, sporting event, etc. to take away some of the air of desperation. Tune out the pressure from your buddies to get laid/get a girlfriend. Chances are these people have nothing going on in their lives anyway.

-Have you possibly looked at the military? I know it may not be for some people but nothing will get you back on your feet better than that. You will be getting paid enough money to own a car, go out and game when you want to, have an active social life, plus the government will give you money to take online classes in the meantime if you want to repair your GPA and make your resume stronger. Not to mention the G.I Bill for when you get out which will pay for a good chunk of medical school. I have heard stories of Doctors taking out over $300,000 worth of student debt to cover the costs. You said that your parents won't help you, and medical schools offer little financial aid/scholarships to help cover the costs, and the last thing you want to deal with is a heavy student loan burden on top of buying a house, car, etc. and that will impair your ability to travel. If your parents are worried about deployment, the Coast Guard is a safe option. There has only been one Coastie who has been killed overseas during the War on Terror since 2002. Your chances are better getting killed walking outside your house. You have also mentioned having to control your alcohol issues in certain situations. Nothing will cure it better than some old-fashioned discipline. I am no medical professional or AA counselor, but after two months of boot camp not being on the sauce may help you wean away from it. I knew a girl who was a two-pack-a-day smoker who quit because she got weaned off of it during boot camp. Plus there are stiff penalties for alcohol incidents in the military that would deter you from doing anything stupid.

I hope this helps, and good luck!
(This post was last modified: 11-08-2016 07:48 PM by MdWanderer.)
11-08-2016 07:44 PM
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Easy_C Offline
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Post: #21
RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
Good pointer for online classes. The military + the right online master's degree will do wonders to repair the GPA damage. If you put the two togehter it's a great story that most employers will buy.
11-09-2016 12:15 PM
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Post: #22
RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
Seems like you've already prepared your list, OP.

Number 1 thing is just to accept your feelings. They're reasonable, expected feelings given your position. But by continuing your work, working to better your position, you have the antidote: hope. The depression is just a signal. You expect it to be there, and you know it will pass. Whenever you feel it, accept it, continue to think of your work, which will give you hope, and wait for the depression episode to wash out.

Continue your work. It is all any of us ever have.
11-09-2016 12:21 PM
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Post: #23
RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
Alright, I'm gonna say that I feel queasy about your situation man. You've fucked up quite a few things, but it sounds like you recognize them, which is more than what most dudes can say so things are only gonna get better from now on.

1) BUST YOUR ASS FOR THE NEXT 2 SEMESTERS. Like the above poster said, you still have plenty of time in college to bump that GPA up. If you can even get a 2.7 the vocational jobs will still highly consider you.

2) 2 options
a. join a vocational / industrial role. This could be related to oil, construction, or even mechanic, medical assistant of some sort. You need to make big money in a short amount of time and you'll only do that by taking a job that no one else really wants to do or is currently underrated.
b. teach English overseas. If you have a B.S., get that TEFL certificate ASAP, and teach English in either the Middle East (hey, your looks might help you) or China for most bang for your buck. May require some forging of documents.

3) Get a Master's degree abroad. There's a few good universities in Scandanavia and Brazil that are free for foreigners IIRC, and in fact I did my Master's in Asia and got *paid* for it. Plenty of ways to get a Master's with minimal impact on your wallet, and it's a good opportunity to re-start.

4) To ease the financial burden of being abroad, order some LSD off the black market, and sell it to the exchange kids on that campus. You'll make way more money there than you would here, and would pocket yourself a solid few hundred bucks per month at minimal risk.
.

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11-10-2016 08:52 AM
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Post: #24
RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
(11-08-2016 12:43 AM)Gyro Wrote:  I've been feeling overwhelming negative, anxious, and scared (pretty out of character for me) for this past week. I've been living in a delusional "fantasy" land the past few years and everything is starting to fall apart; real life is starting to settle in. Before I begin, I take full responsibility of my situation...this is no one's fault but my own.

I'm a senior in college and I've pretty much partied away the first four years with nothing to show for it ( I had autistic social skills coming into college and after 3 years of concentrated effort, I have a pretty strong personality now but at the expense of professional development), now I'm feeling the consequences of my actions. I really need some help right now so I'll post a bullet-point post on my background... This is no troll, this is my actual life situation:

--> I'm in my senior year, currently sitting around a 2.4 gpa in Biochem. No internships, no work experience. I JUST turned 22 and have not made a legal dollar yet (outside of donating bone marrow like once).

--> I go to a extremely good undergrad college (like top 10); so most of my friends are landing $90k/year software developer jobs right out of college, getting into high finance, or taking a gap year before medical school....this is really killing me to think about.......not the fact that they're doing well, but the fact that we were on equal playing fields just 3 years ago, and now..... we're not, and i'm left off even worse than some of my HS friends who everyone thought I shot above

--> My parents are not helping me after I graduate...the original deal was I get into medical school and they would pay for everything but this is no longer an option due to my GPA. They're cutting me off at the end of this semester (traditional middle eastern parents who don't give a fuck) so I'm going to have to take a loan to finish up. I've tried to talking to them but no dice. Family-wise, i am all alone now.

--> I don't know how to drive

--> I used to have an alcohol/cocaine problem (albeit this is solved; I still feel weak in some social situations in controlling myself)

--> Really only dated a couple times; i've only recently grown the balls to ask out girls. I've fucked one girl off tinder, and 10 hookers, so it's not like I have any pussy trophies to flash for my hard partying escapades.

--> Health-wise; my physique is still good but I fear I've definitely damaged some organs through cocaine, adderall, testosterone, and alcohol abuse

--> Friend-wise; I have tons right now but I feel like the number is going to dwindle down quick after next year

Some solutions I've undertaken:
--> cut off contact with my frat; I don't blame anyone but myself for my situation...but living in a fraternity is a toxic environment for 2 years (especially a bottom frat).

--> hang-out with nerds now; their motivation helps me study (even if I manage to only score one or two semesters of good grades)

--> cut out my coke/alcohol buddies....these guys' fantasy land college world is coming to an end as well

--> trying to cut out alcohol...... I really need to get off drugs and focus on building from ground zero. Coming into college, I thought alcohol and drugs were "cool" but the opposite is true

--> I scored a sweet business development internship for spring semester; this should help add something to my resume

--> I'm going to apply to summer internships for a R&D or sales position

I guess the goal is to probably work one or two years as an analytical chemist or pharm sales rep if I can score the job, then get an MBA and pivot into finance/equity research. Maybe I can try doing semester-to-semester night classes at a community college for GPA repair in case I decide to do a last minute pivot to med school.

I need some help/guidance on coming up with a way to deal with my situation...how can I push through this? I haven't felt this negative (sad) in a while and I need to find a way where I don't collapse or break down mentally... I haven't felt this alone in a while and I feel like I'm going to be even MORE alone come next semester.

I am for sure going to face "rock bottom" if I don't get my act together... I think the most important thing is to not give into drugs and alcohol.

I don't think you have anything to panic over. But there is a fair amount you need to review and handle in a different way. Really this all follows on from your earlier post. You don't enjoy academia, you don't want to be a doctor. So now, you just have to concentrate on being the best YOU possible.

Try and get some balance. Get something from you acad studies. But start thinking about career devolpment too. Some of the best paid people I know did utterly shit in school. And the academics did shit in career.

Don't dump all your friends. But see people MUCH less often. Tell them you can't drink/take drugs due to a medical condition. The only thing too much drink will get you long term is a beer gut, cirrhosis and a shit life. There ARE hobbies other that getting hammered on drink.

Eat well, exercise well, and start managing your life as efficiently as you would a business or college project. Make your goals scaleable. Try NLP, hypnosis and stuff. Don't expect everything at once, and you'll be fine.
(This post was last modified: 11-18-2016 06:57 AM by BelyyTigr.)
11-18-2016 06:56 AM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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Post: #25
RE: How do I prepare for "rock bottom"? I think I might be headed there soon enough. Help
I saw this thread and I thought I was going to be reading about some guy posting from the public library about how he was down to giving head to truckers to fund his crack addiction.

"I am in a foreign nation, I know nobody, I am penniless, have lost my passport, visa, and don't speak the language."

I guess rock bottom is different things to different people. I would advise getting some perspective, not because I'm trying to guilt trip you about your privilege or whatever, but because obsessing over shit that doesn't really matter is a bad way to live your life.

Sounds like you've still got a lot of opportunity, even if you've squandered much it. Make a mental image of the you that never turned his shit around. Every day you should think of where that other you is right now.

In five months you might be doing much better while the other you is giving head to truckers to fund his crack addiction.
11-18-2016 07:13 AM
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