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Afraid of doing martial arts
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F1l1pV Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
Alright so thought I'd do a quick update. I ended up procrastinating because I'm a pussy but I finally went down there yesterday. I spoke to the owner who happened to be there and asked him a bunch of crap about if I'd fit in since I am pretty weak and all that. Looked around for about 10 minutes or so too. Went pretty well, the owner was really cool, he could probably tell I was a bit nervous and he basically told me that it doesn't really matter how good / bad I am, I'm there to improve. The gym was a bit ghetto-ish though, not sure what to make of it. It's located in a " ghetto " part of town ( although you could argue Sweden has no ghettos ) and it seemed to have alot of dudes from " the hood ". Not sure what to make of it. I'm going to try one session on monday and see how I like it. Hopefully it works out well.
(This post was last modified: 03-15-2017 03:20 PM by F1l1pV.)
03-15-2017 03:17 PM
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Post: #27
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
If I could offer one piece of advice, that is particularly true for combat sports:-

The way you think influences the way in which you live your life. Thinking 'I'm a pussy' is extremely counter productive, particularly if you want to toughen up a little. A big part of performing well is confidence. If you repeatedly do yourself down and dwell on your perceived lack of courage, you will act like a pussy in the gym and in the ring. You don't need to tell yourself you're a champion, you just need to relax and do the work, and see where you end up.

You're not a pussy, you're a guy who took a step that he needn't have taken. You don't get any great fanfare for that, but it takes more guts than many realise to walk into a fight gym for the first time, particularly as an adult. Stake your pride on not skipping sessions because you're sore and you know the work will be hard. Relax, give yourself to the experience, and you may well find you make good friends and radically transform yourself in the process.
03-15-2017 03:51 PM
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ScrapperTL Offline
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Post: #28
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
(03-15-2017 03:51 PM)H1N1 Wrote:  If I could offer one piece of advice, that is particularly true for combat sports:-

The way you think influences the way in which you live your life. Thinking 'I'm a pussy' is extremely counter productive, particularly if you want to toughen up a little. A big part of performing well is confidence. If you repeatedly do yourself down and dwell on your perceived lack of courage, you will act like a pussy in the gym and in the ring. You don't need to tell yourself you're a champion, you just need to relax and do the work, and see where you end up.

You're not a pussy, you're a guy who took a step that he needn't have taken. You don't get any great fanfare for that, but it takes more guts than many realise to walk into a fight gym for the first time, particularly as an adult. Stake your pride on not skipping sessions because you're sore and you know the work will be hard. Relax, give yourself to the experience, and you may well find you make good friends and radically transform yourself in the process.

Killer advice H1N1.
Before I found the Red Pill I was huge into positive self talk and affirmations.
I still do this but now it is kind of an automatic habit for me.
When your in public you can think thoughts like:
I am Strong, I am Confident, I am Cocky, I am Handsome,
I am full of Testosterone, etc...
I feel Happy, I feel Powerful, etc...
When your in private you can say these things out loud.

Sounds cheesy, yet it works.
03-15-2017 03:56 PM
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Alsos Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
I tried martial arts on a lark, and lucked into a place which (at first, anyway) was a pretty good fit. I too was nervous about "fitting in" and "doing it right" and "not looking like a spazz" and all, but for the first six months had instructors that were really good at handling those kinds of beginner's qualms.

But had I started there six months later when they had a different crew of instructors, I wouldn't have stuck it out for more than a couple weeks.

One thing beginners need to know is that not every school will be a good fit. I don't mean type of martial art, but literally the school you choose to try out. While that first school was pretty good at first, the instructor changes revealed serious flaws in the interpersonal environment and teaching methods that I hadn't noticed before. Found a second school that is a perfect fit for me personally because it's about technique and skill, but it might not appeal to others who want a more "competition-oriented" gym. Tried a BJJ-specific gym a few months back where they were very focused on organized competitions, and just couldn't "bond" with it despite the interpersonal atmosphere being otherwise like my regular place.

Which means don't get discouraged by what you see at the first place you try out. If martial arts is something that interests you, try out different martial arts as well as different gyms for each until you hit on one that "fits" - both in what it teaches and the environment in which it's taught.

And I'll heartily second whoever above said that at 17 you should start now and don't wait. I started at 40 and wish I had started at 14. Or 4.

ETA: but that said, avoid McDojos.
(This post was last modified: 03-18-2017 10:43 PM by Alsos.)
03-18-2017 10:41 PM
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ms224 Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
Don't quit. When you feel the burn, you can't hold your hands up and about to puke, keep pushing.....

The first time you have an upper hand on an equal opponent in the ring you will have true self confidence.

To succeed, you will need great cardio, high reflexes, and excellent self confidence. All these things will help you in life.

Keep us updated!
03-18-2017 10:50 PM
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F1l1pV Offline
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Post: #31
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
Oh crap, I just checked in on the thread, didn't expect any responses haha! Truly appreciate all the responses guys, it helps to calm my nerves Smile

Tomorrow is the day I booked with the dude in the gym to come down and try it out. Was a bit nervous today so I decided to check in on the thread. I'll try to keep these comments in mind tomorrow when I head for that door to the gym, hopefully I won't pussy out.

I'm a bit nervous though still... what should I expect tomorrow? Like what drills and stuff should I expect? I'm going to be in a beginner group, that's about all I know. I've got this feeling in the back of my mind that I'll have no coordination and just look like a complete retard when I hit the mitts.

Anyways, heading off to bed now. Thanks for the support guys!
(This post was last modified: 03-19-2017 08:52 PM by F1l1pV.)
03-19-2017 08:52 PM
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ms224 Offline
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Post: #32
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
They will probably do a bunch of cardio, and start you on how to throw a jab, proper stance, maybe a little foot work.
03-19-2017 10:32 PM
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BrewDog Offline
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Post: #33
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
(03-15-2017 03:17 PM)F1l1pV Wrote:  It's located in a " ghetto " part of town ( although you could argue Sweden has no ghettos )
There's an American president that would disagree. And when I Google "Sweden ghetto" I get a lot of hits.

And don't be afraid of karate. You don't actually hurt one another. Be afraid of boxing. That shit hurts.
03-20-2017 12:24 AM
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littlehorse Offline
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Post: #34
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
(03-15-2017 03:17 PM)F1l1pV Wrote:  The gym was a bit ghetto-ish though, not sure what to make of it. It's located in a " ghetto " part of town ( although you could argue Sweden has no ghettos ) and it seemed to have alot of dudes from " the hood ".

I do understand that those guys could seem "hostile", but if you fully accept them and don't look down to them. They will do the same with you.

Those guys have some red pill thoughts and strong innergame by living in ghettos. Aside of players, there are the only guys I see with enough balls to approach girls during the day in France !
03-21-2017 06:40 PM
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rafaeld Offline
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Post: #35
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
(03-15-2017 03:17 PM)F1l1pV Wrote:  It's located in a " ghetto " part of town ( although you could argue Sweden has no ghettos ) and it seemed to have alot of dudes from " the hood ".

Perfect, you should definitely join this gym.

It sounds like you've had a pretty sheltered upbringing and a fear of physical confrontation. Being exposed to this will harden you up, these guys will take no mercy on you and you will learn so much from being around them. Get your ass in there and work my friend.

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(This post was last modified: 03-22-2017 04:07 AM by rafaeld.)
03-22-2017 04:06 AM
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Snowflake Offline
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Post: #36
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
bump

Should we just assume OP's introductory lesson was fatal for him?
03-31-2017 10:13 AM
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cascadecombo Offline
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Post: #37
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
RIP op.
03-31-2017 10:53 AM
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F1l1pV Offline
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Post: #38
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
(03-31-2017 10:13 AM)Snowflake Wrote:  bump

Should we just assume OP's introductory lesson was fatal for him?

Hey, I'm still here! For some reason it didn't say this thread had any new replies...? Confused

Anyways, was like a month ago I was there now I think, and it honestly went great. I was pretty nervous before going there and hesitated many times. The worst was the final steps to the gym, when I finally got to the street it was on and could see the building in the distance. On my walk there I was constantly thinking about just pussying out and doing it some other time. I was so damn close to just saying fuck it and turning around when I was in the parking lot walking towards that door. However when I got in there the nervousness just sort of dissipated. For some reason, once I got in there amongst the people and got to the point of no return I guess you could call it, it just sort of felt normal.

I got there about 5 minutes before the session started, but there were 2 other people infront of me waiting to talk to the guy at the desk. Now, if I was a member I couldve just gone in and swiped my card, but I had to wait since I didn't have a card, which in turn made me late, which was a bit embarassing. Actually, when I got there the trainer / coach ( can you say trainer in english? ) got mad at me because I was walking to the changing rooms when I was late and started shouting some shit at me about hurrying my sorry ass up. I think the guy at the desk sort of picked up on me being nervous or something, because he went up to the guy and spoke to him about something and pointed in my direction, and when I had changed I went up to him, shook his hand, apologized for being late and he sort of switched his attitude and was alot nicer.

The people there were really cool though. Most were newbs like me, although a bit better, most likely because theyve been training a bit longer too. There were 3 others who were among the better practitioners at the gym who kind of helped the coach guy out and practiced with the rest of us. We did alot of cardio at first and damn I am unathletic lol. I've been doing mostly strength training and my first bulk is a bit of a bulk gone wrong ( I have since learned though ) so I've gotten a little bit of chub on me and damn did I feel that when we did the high intensity non-stop cardio stuff. Pretty much never played sports so I've only been that sweaty on very few occasions in my life. Later we did some basic combos, I think it was jab-cross and jab-jab-cross and then something with hooks too. I don't remember exactly, but we did that combined with maintaining stance and moving forward whilst throwing and god damn I'm coordinated lol. I was like a stale old man with a stick up his ass when I tried to throw those punches. Like I forgot to move my feet while throwing and constantly messing up by throwing the wrong punch and shit lol. Luckily the guy who I was practicing with was cool and didn't mind. We kept that up for about 40 mins or so and then did some more cardio to end it and before I knew it, it was over!

All in all, I survived. Realized it wasn't as dangerous as I thought. Treated myself with some burger king and a big ass soda afterwards because I forgot my water bottle. I think I am going to start training but honestly I have so much damn school work, and if I do mma 3 times a week, and work out 3-4 times a week + homework I will be doing shit constantly which I don't know if I am going to be ready for. I think my plan is to cut some weight, get my current school projects finished and then get a membership.

Didn't realize anyone actually cared about how it went, thanks for the interest!
(This post was last modified: 04-23-2017 06:53 PM by F1l1pV.)
04-23-2017 06:44 PM
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king bast Online
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Post: #39
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
So you went there the first time, which was the biggest hurdle...but you haven't been back! You absolutely need to get in there regularly.

IF I do MMA 3x a week, and lift weights 4x a week, I wont have much time left. Sure - but what if you just start doing MMA 2x a week and lift if you feel like it? Then, if/when you get more comfortable and enthusiastic about it, you can add another session as time allows.

It sounds like you're creating fantasy, worst-case scenarios to justify not doing anything - you did the hardest part already, which was going in that first time. Don't you want to get some pay-off for it?
04-23-2017 06:59 PM
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F1l1pV Offline
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Post: #40
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
(04-23-2017 06:59 PM)king bast Wrote:  So you went there the first time, which was the biggest hurdle...but you haven't been back! You absolutely need to get in there regularly.

IF I do MMA 3x a week, and lift weights 4x a week, I wont have much time left. Sure - but what if you just start doing MMA 2x a week and lift if you feel like it? Then, if/when you get more comfortable and enthusiastic about it, you can add another session as time allows.

It sounds like you're creating fantasy, worst-case scenarios to justify not doing anything - you did the hardest part already, which was going in that first time. Don't you want to get some pay-off for it?

I think you're right. Although I don't know if I have to be there every time they train or not, but I guess I'll just ask them. I think I'm better of going there once a week then zero times a week.

Also, I don't know if you practice mma yourself, but really just anyone who reads, how bad were you when you first started? Like how was you coordination and shit? I was pretty terrible and I found it pretty hard to like move correctly with my hands and feet in conjuction with eachother in a correct and smooth way, but maybe that's pretty normal?

Anyways, thanks for the reply
(This post was last modified: 04-30-2017 06:15 PM by F1l1pV.)
04-30-2017 06:14 PM
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Black Knight Offline
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Post: #41
RE: Afraid of doing martial arts
(04-23-2017 06:44 PM)F1l1pV Wrote:  I was pretty nervous before going there and hesitated many times. The worst was the final steps to the gym, when I finally got to the street it was on and could see the building in the distance.

(04-23-2017 06:44 PM)F1l1pV Wrote:  I had to wait since I didn't have a card, which in turn made me late, which was a bit embarassing. Actually, when I got there the trainer / coach ( can you say trainer in english? ) got mad at me because I was walking to the changing rooms when I was late and started shouting some shit at me about hurrying my sorry ass up.

(04-23-2017 06:44 PM)F1l1pV Wrote:  I think I am going to start training but honestly I have so much damn school work, and if I do mma 3 times a week, and work out 3-4 times a week + homework I will be doing shit constantly which I don't know if I am going to be ready for. I think my plan is to cut some weight, get my current school projects finished and then get a membership.

OP, not to derail the thread but based on your post I think you might have a more general problem with social anxiety. Your original post made me think of this as well, when you mentioned going to the gym at weird hours just so you didn't have to be around other people watching you. I used to do the same thing with grocery shopping and errands when I had similar anxiety issues. You also seem to be overthinking every small detail and chiding yourself for newbie mistakes, despite the fact that it's completely expected because you're, well, a newbie.

From someone who's trained a martial art for a few years, I can almost assure you that people aren't secretly making fun of you behind your back. I do think this anxiety is leading you to make some lame excuses not to go back (schoolwork, other exercising, etc.) because it takes you more out of your comfort zone than your current routine. You should do your best to push through this.
04-30-2017 07:42 PM
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