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Clubbing psychology AKA thoughts on my last night out
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SegaSaturn1994 Offline
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Clubbing psychology AKA thoughts on my last night out
Maybe this earns me a ban or something, I don't really care if the thread is transferred and will appreciate it if it's the right thing to do but I feel like writing some.

I hit a club well before midnight; the nightclub was hosting a student themed night for students of a field I formerly was into but never graduated for good reasons. The gender ratio was not perfect but at the beginning it was looking pretty good though. The club was basically split into a karaoke section and a small dance section; for the life of me I could not understand what people found so attractive about the smaller section as 90% of the night the karaoke section was completely empty save for me.

Anyway near the beginning of the night I kind of glanced at some girl groups but it was pretty difficult to tell if they were even looking back given the distance and I did not really bother to go out of my way to stare because they would come very close anyway to type their songs on the computer. My first opener was offering to help a girl with her song choice; this never lead to anything as she quickly accustomed to the device and she made no attempt to continue the conversation.
My next opener was to one of the few girls in my near vicinity who liked to sing and so she quite spontaneously ended up getting on stage with me and we sang. I think she was eyeing her friends as we did. She was polite and nice and thanked me for the company as I did to her.

Again I let her slide and did not try to pick up anyone's gaze as I was quite content with the fact that I had established some social status through that and thought that the girl group(s) would see that social act as an excuse to invite me to their group (if one or more were interested) but this never happened. Prior to this, I asked a cute bartender about her singing and when her shift ended, she ended on the other side of the counter and I approached her for a duet, which she politely declined.

Some time after this a strange thing happened; I was wearing a winter themed shirt with a romantic photorealistic picture of two animals necking. So what happens is that three girls do a song bearing the name of that very same species of animal; in a plural.
This made me quite confused as I wondered if the girls had noticed my peculiar shirt and were trying to signal something (by singing a winter themed song featuring several references to the exact animal species) but their body language and everything was not very inviting after they did their three person performance. Perhaps it was a freak coincidence but I could not help but feel flattered on some silly level as I chose to see it in the light I did.

Later on I made a comment to a chick about the dancefloor being quite full and she looked at me with slight disdain, after which I hopped on the dancefloor and basically turned myself into the center of attention by dancing on a pedestal for quite a few minutes. As this was going on two reasonably buff or just chunky dudes got on the pedestal and kind of sandwiched me by taking up a lot of room. This felt like an AMOG attempt but I did not really care either way. I just kept dancing; trying to feel my way around without using my sense of vision; I usually dance with my eyes closed and my dance background, though far from amazing, is certainly better than that of the average guy, although I'm not into all that sexy club dancing but rather ballet and other more artistic individual dances.

Because I kept my eyes closed for most of the time and did not search for eyes to meet with, I was oblivious to any IOI's but eventually the chunky guys were joined by two girls, the other of which offered me some drink and asked me about my name and said she was the other chunky guy's girlfriend. Separately, four other women came on the pedestal to dance with me in groups of two. I accidentally bumbed into them at first given how I always dance the way I do and at a point a girl dancing down on the floor sort of pointed to me with a smile and obviously said something about me; perhaps having to do with my mannerisms. I started to feel a bit exhausted and warm and hopped off the podium quite impulsively but gracefully and went back to the karaoke section for what was basically the rest of the night.

My mood fluctuated back and forth with me feeling quite more masculine right after the dance incident but gradually sunk to normal levels as nobody occupied the enormous karaoke room. When there was one full hour left until closing time or at least the initial signs of things slowing down, I had had my share and felt like I needed to maintain my dignity by leaving before I'd have to witness the whole pair grouping thing, although I've always been fascinated by the closing of a club with its romantic melodies and the search for dance partners but I've only had the patience for the waiting BS a couple times in my life. There's certainly a very strong impulsive side of me that wants to leave the club sort of like a movie protagonist walking away as the building he leaves explodes into pieces shortly after and I sort of feel like I'm escaping something as well; perhaps a more extensive experience of rejection.
01-11-2017 08:20 PM
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Rocha Offline
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RE: Clubbing psychology AKA thoughts on my last night out
(01-11-2017 08:20 PM)SegaSaturn1994 Wrote:  There's certainly a very strong impulsive side of me that wants to leave the club sort of like a movie protagonist walking away as the building he leaves explodes into pieces shortly after and I sort of feel like I'm escaping something as well; perhaps a more extensive experience of rejection.

What does not kill us, makes us stronger. Rejection never killed nobody, do not fear it, everybody gets rejected by someone at some point in his life, even millionaires, sport stars, Hollywood actors... learn how to deal with rejection, and thrive to be as best possible, and less times rejected.

"Поехали!!" (Yuri Gagarin, 1961)

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01-11-2017 08:33 PM
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Alche Offline
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RE: Clubbing psychology AKA thoughts on my last night out
Before you go out. You must be bullet proof.

I am not going to say you need to be this all the time, because for some people like me, I am naturally an introvert. But when I enter a club, I'm not afraid of rejection and also like to speak to everyone. Now I'm not into all that psyche yourself up and singing mantras.. i think that's all bullshit. I just try to remember a few beliefs of who I am or want to be.

You must not care about what others think of you. But at the same time you must give to others. What do I mean by this? Don't a rigid alpha dog posing in the corner being unsociable.

Make people around you feel good. If they insult you, ignore it. Change their insult into something positive. Because really what they said carries no weight. They are not insulting you.. they are just showing you the state of their relationship with themselves. Being like this is magnetic. And brings everyone into your world. The more you give, the more you receive. And remember the most valuable gift you have is yourself.

If you want to PM me I can recommend a book for you. (It's a sales book).

this is just my 2cents.

'in the face of death.. everything is funny'
(This post was last modified: 01-12-2017 04:17 AM by Alche.)
01-12-2017 04:13 AM
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TornadoByProxy Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Clubbing psychology AKA thoughts on my last night out
Reading this and your other threads, here's my advice.

You need to find a group of close friends before anything else. Even if you found a girl for an LTR, the two of you would still be alone because you have no group to hang out with. This is a big barrier for women when choosing a guy.

A group of friends will help you through your social awkwardness and be there to give you advice. The added friendships will improve your confidence.

You will never be successful as long as you are fumbling along alone like this.
01-14-2017 09:42 AM
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SegaSaturn1994 Offline
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RE: Clubbing psychology AKA thoughts on my last night out
(01-14-2017 09:42 AM)TornadoByProxy Wrote:  Reading this and your other threads, here's my advice.

You need to find a group of close friends before anything else. Even if you found a girl for an LTR, the two of you would still be alone because you have no group to hang out with. This is a big barrier for women when choosing a guy.

A group of friends will help you through your social awkwardness and be there to give you advice. The added friendships will improve your confidence.

You will never be successful as long as you are fumbling along alone like this.
This is not entirely true as there was one time when a reasonably attractive girl practically invited herself to my place after a couple minutes in a club. She did not like my pad or my behaviour inside my apartment so she left. That was a few years ago and my preparation and social skills are better now.

Other than that I appreciate your advise and have heard similar before. With that said, I get some emotional support from a friend overseas as well as my family so things could be worse in that regard even if it's hard to make friends as an adult. I've tried to make friends in a variety of places but did not really click with those guys. Even my best friend abroad is a very different breed and we do not really connect on an emotional level.

As far as getting further with a girl than described in the first paragraph of my response; I hope to be able to prove you wrong this year.

I went out tonight as well and can honestly say that the nightlife is turning my stomach over now to the extent where I'm more eager to go to pubs with middle-aged couples rather than the places frequented by young people as I saw some violence being visited on a kid by bouncers and it made me nauseous; I tried greeting another one of those beings when entering another club but he simply responded by pointing towards the endless line, which I got tired of in a minute to my credit. I really feel like I'm violating a part of my being by going to clubs given how alien it feels especially on the weekends but hobbies have not provided much help either so far, although there's a woman in my dance class I'll probably ask out if the opportunity presents itself. On one level I'm simply happy to get some attention from women despite the horrid conditions but I'm not sure if the harm done by it will come back to haunt me later as things just cannot be unseen or unheard anymore.
01-14-2017 09:14 PM
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StackGsMan Online
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RE: Clubbing psychology AKA thoughts on my last night out
How old are you?

I in no way am trying to insult you, but from what I've read in this thread I get the sense that you are either young and inexperienced or you have trouble acting on and understanding social issues.

It would be better if you gave some more information about yourself, but my advice would be forget about night game for a good while and instead focus on day game. You have to understand that night game is not the real world. Night game takes a lot of the worst attributes of high school and combines that with even less familiarity than in high school and alcohol. This usually turns into bitchy behavior by females that have an elevated status (or so they think because they are hit on a lot) and aggression/unfriendliness on the part of men.

If I am correct in my assumption that you need to understand people and social clues better, you can only gain this by interacting with more women and going further in the interaction than you previously have. Forget about trying to get laid or whatever is in your mind now, and just try to find girls that you find pleasant in terms of personality and that pass your requirements for looks.

That is why I think you should transition into day game. Just hit up busy grocery stores or malls after 5 pm when people are already off work. Walk around (try not to be too obvious like you are on the prowl) and approach a chick and simply say, "I was just walking by and noticed that you were very attractive..." Then let her respond and take the conversation from there.

The first goal should be to successfully approach.
The second is to get a conversation going.
The third is to get the number or try an insta date.
Finally, just learn to get to know a girl and what it is like to date.

You will get laid eventually, but more importantly you will start to develop a sense of what's going on.
01-15-2017 02:50 AM
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MediumRare Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Clubbing psychology AKA thoughts on my last night out
Sounds like a troll post to me
01-15-2017 06:02 AM
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