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The Anal Data Sheet
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General Stalin Offline
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The Anal Data Sheet
Stalin’s Complete Guide to Anal

Foreward

Anal, the final frontier. The third hole. The forbidden fruit. Still considered a dirty, dark, and off-limits realm for many. I’m here to tell you anal is in anyone’s grasp, and any girl can be warmed up to it with proper preparation, care, and guidance. It’s tight, warm, and surprisingly wet. Not only does it feel great, but the psychological factor of it alone can make it more of a turn on for both of you. You also can’t get an asshole pregnant, and even girls who don’t like cum in their mouth can take cum in their ass.

I will tell you first that all females have a different threshold for pain and not all assholes are created equal. I have taken about half a dozen anal virginities, and analized an equal number of experienced anal hoes. Some need some real finessing, some take it easy, and some fucking love it. It’s a mixed bag out there boys so stay frosty.

The Setup

The first step is opening them up to it. Again, all females are different, but generally this is something you bring up after you’ve had normal vanilla sex several times. Perhaps you are talking sexual and get on the topic of kink and fetishes. Special stuff you are into. Bring up how you would love to do anal with her. Most girls say they have “tried it like once or twice but it hurt!” – that’s when you say they just didn’t have the right partner or didn’t have it done correctly. Others may say they’ve never tried it, and you just tell them it feels great and is super sexy. Make them feel comfortable about it and that it’s something cool and different that you would enjoy doing with her. It’s important that you don’t make her feel like you are some anal veteran who has speared legions of assholes in his day. She wants to feel like it’s something special you’d like to do with her. Again, this is not the rule but it is the most common. Some girls will ask you about it, or some will want to know that you have experience with it and would like to show them the way etc.

They need to know you will be gentle and not hurt them. It’s not hard to comfort a girl this way. She wants to feel safe and protected while doing this new dirty thing. You just tell her you will be gentle and slow.

The Foreplay

Now you’ve got her ready. She is down with it, though she is nervous. It doesn’t hurt to have a little liquor in her as it will ease her nerves a bit and beat down her inhibitions. This is no necessary but it does help.

It is important to have normal sex beforehand. Fuck her good, hard, and long before you go for the brown star. Get her off, get her euphoric and buzzing. She will feel satisfied and more sexually open. Make sure to eat her out a bit and tongue punch that fart box. Get her familiar with having pressure and sensation on her asshole. Lap that shit up. Make long licks going from asshole to clit.

Make sure you end up fucking her doggie style, this is important. Lick your thumb nice and wet and slowly insert it into her asshole bit by bit while you are pounding away her pussy. The act of fucking her pussy will make her asshole relaxed and loose. It should be easy to slide your wet thumb in there. It’s important that everything is wet. I do not use lube as I think it makes things too slippery and also makes it too easy to move too fast. Just use your saliva it works great and its way less messy…

Anyway you are fucking her from behind and you got your thumb in her ass like a bowling ball. Move it in and out slowly. Then pull your dick and thumb out and eat her out – pussy and ass switching back and forth. Make sure you keep your shit rock hard. It’s important that you have a mighty boner for this deed as being even a little soft will make it extremely difficult to get in and stay in. Take Viagra or Cialis if you have to.

You eat her ass and pussy out and go back to fucking her doggie style and get that thumb back in that ass. What you are doing here is making the assplay sort of secondary to her getting fucked in her pussy. This is all about relaxation and loosening her up. The length of time you do this for is really at your discretion but I generally try to feel out the girl’s vibe. It doesn’t hurt to ask “are you ready?” Girls love that cheesy comforting shit.

Make sure her asshole is nice and wet. Get your tongue all up in there and get it sloppy. Make sure your dick is nice and slimy too from her pussy juice. This is it. We’re going in.

Doing the Deed

It’s time to penetrate that warm, tight asshole. Don’t get ahead of yourself, this needs to be done slowly. With everything nice and wet and slippery, hold your dick and put your mushroom tip against her asshole. It is important that this done doggie style* not just because it’s the most convenient position, but also because her asshole is most visible – that tricky fucker can slip away from you, especially if you are not rock hard.

Getting the tip in is the hardest part. It will be the most painful part for her really so it needs to be done slowly and gracefully. Do not force that shit in – read her body language. If she is pulling away and writhing in pain then just sit for a moment, don’t keep pushing. Let her relax then inch on. It is not uncommon to have to pull back and start again a couple times while re-lubing her asshole and your dicktip. Once you feel that “pop” of your mushroom head fully breached in, things get a little easier. Once you are at this point do your best do NOT pull out les you want to start the process all over again and she may be more discouraged and impatient having already gone through it. Slowly inch in, it doesn’t hurt to let her push against you at her pace as well – some girls will do this.

Once you inch your way to a comfortable depth, you can start slowly thrusting – but I’m talking micro thrusts to start with. Very minimal hip movement. As she gets more comfortable you can get more range of motion going on. Once she is comfortable enough you will be able to go just about full length in and out (unless you’re hung like Pete Holmes then you make need to take it easier). The asshole is generally very tight and provides lots of great friction so it should not be difficult to get off in a reasonable amount of time, which is good for her. You don’t want to be plowing her ass for 30 minutes.

It is important to read her body language. A lot of the snail-speed process can be sped up if she is feeling it and wants you to go for it. It’s also possible she isn’t relaxed enough and you may have to abandon that plan (for now).

When the Dust Settles

Let her know how hot and sexy it was and how much you liked it. You want to keep doing it, right? Tell her she did great. Make her feel good about the whole thing and how great her asshole felt. Simple as that.

Make sure both of you clean up afterwards, especially her. Take a piss and use soap and water to clean your bits. It wouldn't hurt to hop in the shower together after. This is important to prevent any sort of UTI for her, and to prevent getting that dirty flaky glaze on your dick.

I hope this little write-up helps some of you degenerates out there turn your girls out into little buttsluts.




*I have also had luck doing this in the spooning position as it gives the girl a little more control and comfort, but it is a little harder to get in as you can't see what's going on and her ass cheeks are together. Also more difficult to get full shaft in there, but this is a viable alternative.
(This post was last modified: 01-13-2017 05:20 PM by General Stalin.)
01-13-2017 04:48 PM
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Windom Earle Offline
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Post: #2
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
I was fucking a 27 year old virgin for a while - anal only. Her name was Lana. I shit you not.

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01-13-2017 05:11 PM
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General Stalin Offline
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Post: #3
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
(01-13-2017 05:11 PM)Windom Earle Wrote:  I was fucking a 27 year old virgin for a while - anal only. Her name was Lana. I shit you not.

[Image: i%2Bsee%2Bwhat%2Byou%2Bdid%2Bthere%2B2.png.jpeg]

I've heard of that a lot. One of my best friends and his wife used to only do anal before they got married because she was brought up Christian and believed the V-card had to be saved for marriage. Go figure.

Also I've had a ONS where I just fucked the girl in the ass because I didn't have condoms and she didn't trust me to pull out. Angel
(This post was last modified: 01-13-2017 05:16 PM by General Stalin.)
01-13-2017 05:15 PM
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wi30 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
Solid write-up.

I made my ex-girlfriend cum multiple times from anal. Missionary position so your pelvis is still hitting her clit. Or if hitting doggy style give her a reach around and play with her clit.

I prefer lube over spit though.
01-13-2017 05:20 PM
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Post: #5
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
Epilogue: Do yourself a favor and have a hand towel handy at the end: Specifically the pullout. Unless she's an anal vet and does the pre-session enema rinse there will likely be shit on your dick. Just take the towel and wrap it around the base of your sword and wipe as you draw it out and presto!..clean johnson achieved and the trauma of seeing shit on your dick is averted. Youre welcome

_______________________________________
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{ Inversion Therapy
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"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
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(This post was last modified: 01-13-2017 05:42 PM by PapayaTapper.)
01-13-2017 05:21 PM
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General Stalin Offline
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Post: #6
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
I've never had any horrific scenes when pulling my sword from the stone, but it's not a bad tip. I usually just pull out and go to the sink after and rinse. The worst I've had is a tiny dingle berry. Most of the time it's clean or you may have a little brown swirl or two but if you're gonna play in the mud then expect to get dirty.
01-13-2017 05:24 PM
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roberto Offline
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Post: #7
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
Fuck that shit.

They who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety- Benjamin Franklin, as if you didn't know...
01-13-2017 05:37 PM
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Post: #8
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
(01-13-2017 05:24 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  I've never had any horrific scenes when pulling my sword from the stone, but it's not a bad tip. I usually just pull out and go to the sink after and rinse. The worst I've had is a tiny dingle berry. Most of the time it's clean or you may have a little brown swirl or two but if you're gonna play in the mud then expect to get dirty.

Dont get me wrong. I'm not knocking the bung bang..I've enjoyed the "wrongness" of the pooper pump aplenty. But I have to admit I'm not a fan of the "mud" at all...even the traces of it. I'm delicate like that

_______________________________________
{ She Have The "Happy Gene? "
{ Inversion Therapy
{Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
(This post was last modified: 01-13-2017 05:46 PM by PapayaTapper.)
01-13-2017 05:41 PM
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Dusty Offline
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Post: #9
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
The ole rusty trombone.

Take care of those titties for me.
01-13-2017 05:44 PM
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wi30 Offline
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Post: #10
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
(01-13-2017 05:37 PM)roberto Wrote:  Fuck that shit.

[Image: th?id=OIP.Mf902da562f036164e0d81fb3eef8d...;amp;h=300]

I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of puns in this thread.
01-13-2017 05:45 PM
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Ringo Offline
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RE: The Anal Data Sheet
You guys are killing me with these:
(01-13-2017 04:48 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  Anal, the final frontier.
...
Fuck her good, hard, and long before you go for the brown star.
...
Once you feel that “pop” of your mushroom head fully breached in
...
I’m talking micro thrusts to start with.
...
to prevent getting that dirty flaky glaze on your dick.

(01-13-2017 05:21 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Just take the towel and wrap it around the base of your sword

(01-13-2017 05:24 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  The worst I've had is a tiny dingle berry.
...
if you're gonna play in the mud then expect to get dirty.

[Image: raw]

Great post Stalin, made me curious to try it with one of the girls in my rotation - a first time for both of us.

Datasheets São Paulo, BR | Diamantina, BR | Osijek, HR | My most reliable opener
(This post was last modified: 01-13-2017 05:47 PM by Ringo.)
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Alche Offline
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RE: The Anal Data Sheet
What's worse ..getting the cheese or the mud? Once when I looked down and there was cheese all over my dick.. I truly hated myself.

'in the face of death.. everything is funny'
01-13-2017 05:47 PM
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Post: #13
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
Good writeup, General. Anal is something I definitely enjoy on occasion, the sensation is different and the power/taboo aspect is exciting.

My last LTR loved anal so we did it regularly and only on a couple of occasions was there any mess. Eating booty definitely seems to help warm girls up to the idea and sensations. Missionary can be good once she's a bit more experienced, either of you can rub her clit while you're going to town.
01-13-2017 05:48 PM
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General Stalin
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RE: The Anal Data Sheet
(01-13-2017 05:41 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Dont get me wrong. I'm not knocking the bung bang..I've enjoyed the "wrongness" of the pooper pump aplenty. But I have to admit I'm not a fan of the "mud" at all...even the traces of it. I'm delicate like that

I feel ya it's not for everyone. The reality of it is that real life anal is not like porno anal where the girls have had their poopshoot professionally cleaned out prior and have been using a buttplug and pumping their ass with lube all morning so it looks smooth as butter and clean as clean can be. It's painful and can be a little messy.

If one is more mindful of cleanliness than some extra precautions and preparations should be taken beyond what I've outlined above for sure. Having the towel handy is a good one, also have a pack of wet wipes doesn't hurt either.
(This post was last modified: 01-13-2017 05:48 PM by General Stalin.)
01-13-2017 05:48 PM
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RE: The Anal Data Sheet
(01-13-2017 05:47 PM)Alche Wrote:  What's worse ..getting the cheese or the mud? Once when I looked down and there was cheese all over my dick.. I truly hated myself.

Cow, sheep or goat?

Good lord...nevermind..

[Image: hurry.gif]

_______________________________________
{ She Have The "Happy Gene? "
{ Inversion Therapy
{Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
01-13-2017 05:54 PM
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RE: The Anal Data Sheet
Reaction when I logged on RVF this afternoon and saw the title of this thread staring me in the face:

Laugh4

And after reading,

Clap

- One planet orbiting a star. Billions of stars in the galaxy. Billions of galaxies in the universe. Approach.

#BallsWin
01-13-2017 05:55 PM
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Roosh Offline
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Post: #17
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
How often does it smell like dookie?

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01-13-2017 07:24 PM
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General Stalin Offline
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Post: #18
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
I may not be the person to ask because I have almost no olfactory, but I have never once smelled anything unsavory whilst ass plundering before, during, or after.
01-13-2017 07:28 PM
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Post: #19
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
One of the benefits of having 4 years older slut girlfriend in your late teens is that you increase a lot your anal fucking skills. That's probably the only benefit I can think of, fucking whore.

After my very limited experience I got the feeling that every girl from the West does anal, first was the chick from California that started on her own "Do you like anal?" during sex, so I fucked her butt and the next one was a French Canadian, while fucking her I realised that she is also from the West so I went "Do you want me to fuck your ass?" and she accepted the challenge. Good stuff.
01-13-2017 08:44 PM
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General Stalin Offline
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RE: The Anal Data Sheet
I've yet to meet a girl who refused to have anal sex if it was something I wanted with her. They are all open to the idea. The only ones that are most against it are the ones who've tried it and had bad experiences. Some suckass greenhorn dude ruins them by hurting their ass.
01-13-2017 09:03 PM
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RE: The Anal Data Sheet
I feel proud of myself being able to feel apart of this thread.

I prefer saliva. There's just something more primal about it.
01-13-2017 09:20 PM
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RE: The Anal Data Sheet
I've always wanted to try anal but due to size issues girls have been too put off to compromise with me on this. Don't want to toot my own horn but it is what it is.Undecided

Even Rustler's mom refused.
(This post was last modified: 01-13-2017 11:43 PM by TigerMandingo.)
01-13-2017 11:43 PM
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RE: The Anal Data Sheet
My friend used to say that after you slam a girl in the ass a few times, the pussy becomes too "loosey-goosey."

"Action still preserves for us a hope that we may stand erect." - Thucydides (from History of the Peloponnesian War)
01-13-2017 11:46 PM
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Post: #24
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
Ah, the legendary "fifth base." I don't expect a girl to give me her asshole each and every encounter, but it is definitely something I like having on the table as an option. You won't appreciate the value of a girl who's down for a little backdoor action until you've been with a girl who's not.

Personally, I admire the level of sexual persuasion required to talk a girl into it. Any girl will give up her pussy, but it takes some finesse to get them to surrender their ass. When I'm with a girl, I like to explore her in every way possible -- to really exploit each notch for all its worth.

I subscribe to Sam Kinison's theory of being the "darkest chapter in a girl's sexual diary." Fucking them in the ass certainly helps qualify one for that position (no pun intended).

Quote:So guys, since you're there, since they want to fuck -- fuck 'em! Do every single nasty thing you can think of. Be the nastiest, darkest chapter in her sexual diary. It'll read there were all the others and then there was HIM! "He made me do things that was just unnatural!" Ah, yeah, that way, make her do it long, man. Fuck her every single place and way you can think of -- watch porno films, talk to lesbians, whatever it takes...Because then, then if she leaves ya for another fucking guy, you just made this guy's life [i]real[/] fucking interesting. Oh, he's going to know who you are...Oh yeah, because women love to fucking talk about the last guy they had. "Oh, he was sick...You don't even want to know what he did..." Yeah, that's right I don't want to fucking know."

- Sam Kinison, "Have You Seen Me Lately?"

Start at 1:57


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(This post was last modified: 01-14-2017 12:05 AM by LeoneVolpe.)
01-14-2017 12:00 AM
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Post: #25
RE: The Anal Data Sheet
Anal wasn't that good the first times. There was something wrong using condoms. It was very difficult to put it there, and after a minute trying, I started losing the boner.
That changed when I went to Brazil and this girl asked me to go raw in the asterisk. Wow.. it was perfect and I like it since then.
01-14-2017 12:26 AM
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