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How to deal with a parent whos gay
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Hoser Offline
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Post: #26
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
Post this again when you miss your mother. Aloha, Brah.
02-19-2017 05:25 PM
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Post: #27
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
On a serious note, you only get one mom.

I'd only cut her out if her gayness is greatly impacting your relationship with her.

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02-19-2017 05:34 PM
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Post: #28
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
Is the forum meme of answering every question with "next her" spilling over into family as well now?
02-19-2017 05:46 PM
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Kona Offline
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Post: #29
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 05:46 PM)iop890 Wrote:  Is the forum meme of answering every question with "next her" spilling over into family as well now?

We were also able to weave Hitler into the discussion as well.

Aloha!
02-19-2017 06:14 PM
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Mercenary Offline
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Post: #30
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 05:46 PM)iop890 Wrote:  Is the forum meme of answering every question with "next her" spilling over into family as well now?

At this point i wouldn't be surprised if a thread came up about a RVF member having a problem with their own young son or daughter and half the answers on the thread being "next it". Im exaggerating, but not by much.

Nexting people does nothing to resolve underlying problems that cause these situations to arrise in the first place. It's just a way to run away from the situation like a coward rather than find why it's happened in the first place and look for solutions.

Also, having this nexting attitude as a default towards other people guarantees you will keep encountering or creating the same problems over and over again in your life.



On a side note, you guys need to do your homework. OP (TheWhiteWolf) has publically admitted in other threads that he has aspergers syndrome, has an ambilavent (sometimes hostile and volatile) attitude towards the female race in general, and has a track record of making controversial statements to attract attention and get validation.

In addition to that, on a general basis, this looks like it's is going to be another one of those threads where one dude gets everyone relied up with a single triggering style first post and then later when questioned, provides no further SPECIFIC details about his exact situation, making it impossible to give him good advice.
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 06:20 PM by Mercenary.)
02-19-2017 06:16 PM
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Post: #31
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 05:10 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:  OP, this is not a serious crisis that it appears to be.

Take the Christian approach. Love her, forgive her, and pray for her.

I would add, the problem with homosexuality is not the act per se, but where the act leads. The same way alcohol isn't bad in itself, but drunkenness can lead to foolishness.

The primary issue with lesbianism is that it leads to a fear and rejection of men; a stunted femininity. Thus it is most damaging during a woman's formative years of high fertility. Your mother - given that she is a mother - did not reject that, even though she's clearly suffering some romantic difficulties. She's seeking out companionship inappropriately, but she isn't rejecting femininity as a whole.

Best of luck.

EDIT: I should probably clarify, that alcohol CAN be used responsibly, whereareas homosexuality is always going down a dark path. It's more similar to methamphetamine. You can use it without becoming addicted - but it's not going to add any benefit to your life, no matter how small the dose. Nonetheless, don't hate the sinner.

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02-19-2017 06:18 PM
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Post: #32
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 06:14 PM)Kona Wrote:  
(02-19-2017 05:46 PM)iop890 Wrote:  Is the forum meme of answering every question with "next her" spilling over into family as well now?

We were also able to weave Hitler into the discussion as well.

Aloha!

Hey Kona

What do you see when you look at these pictures:

[Image: 539.jpg]


[Image: hitler2.jpg]


[Image: furry-fuhrers-8-animals-who-look-like-hi...9mii4.jpeg]

“That sig BTW is a very asinine anti-family anti-parent quote. You live in a country where 40% of children grow up without a biological father, yet somehow “the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents”? Sorry but this is fruity Boomer nonsense.”

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02-19-2017 06:34 PM
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Kona Offline
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Post: #33
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
1) Hitler

2) Hitler

3) Hitler

Aloha!
02-19-2017 06:39 PM
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Uruz Offline
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Post: #34
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
I would laugh at her and a lot. I make fun of my mother as she gained a lot of weight in recent years after divorcing my father, if she claimed to be lesbian, my abs would hurt from laughter and I would laugh at her partners as well. If she claims to be lesbian, she is just a kid, behave toward her like she is one.

Dont understand how can a grown up female that gave a birth to a kid claim such a teenage bullshit like "I am a lesbian.". What the fuck, I thought that lesbians are like unicorns or something, still need to meet some.

It's all the time the same bullshit, mother or not, women got some selfish desire, they don't like something or they like something else that they don't have and they end up fucking up their family because of that shit and putting their kids on the second place, that's the thing with the equality and other fairytales. Normally you would just laugh at her and tell her to go back to kitchen if she came up with some shit like "I want divorce" or "I am lesbian now.", if she persisted just slap her and send her back to the kitchen again. But nowadays they think that life is a motherfucking game or some shit.
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 06:57 PM by Uruz.)
02-19-2017 06:48 PM
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Post: #35
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 04:22 PM)Atlanta Man Wrote:  Dude listen-love your mother because she loves you more than anyone on this earth. Your mother is a human being and all humans make choices some good some bad. Listen to me very carefully, your mother will be dead before you most likely and you will have to face this world without her unconditional love and qben that time comes you will see how little this romantic choice of her's really matters in the larger scope of things. Love and respect your mother, not her choices.

Cutting a parent out should be reserved for parents who have crossed serious boundaries, or perpetually inflict harm.

I don't think OP's mother by being, or believing she is gay, has intrinsically crossed that line by any means.

The punishment would not fit the "crime."

(02-19-2017 06:48 PM)Uruz Wrote:  I would laugh at her and a lot. I make fun of my mother as she gained a lot of weight in recent years after divorcing my father, if she claimed to be lesbian, my abs would hurt from laughter and I would laugh at her partners as well. If she claims to be lesbian, she is just a kid, behave toward her like she is one.

Troll

Is that how a man behaves, or what are you, exactly?
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 07:02 PM by XPQ22.)
02-19-2017 06:53 PM
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polymath Offline
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Post: #36
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
My mom is a pushy, controlling narcissist. But she's also an attentive mom who has had my back in many crises.

I chose the path of communicating my perspective about the deficiencies of our relationship, and learning how to be strong in the face of bad behavior and emotional manipulation. I didn't want to cut my mother out of my life.

Sometimes I wonder if this is a weakness on my part. Like somehow, by leaving the lines of communication open, I am empowering her to exert influence over me. She has pressured and guilted me to do some things that were not in my best interest at times (mainly sacrificing career for family), and occasionally I have caved to that pressure. Plus she's a pretty disparaging and critical person, and she knows my psychological pressure points.

On the other hand, the alternative is a stunted life where my kids won't get to have a good relationship with Grandma, my family becomes distant, and I don't have as strong of a support network. Plus, I would be hurting someone who genuinely, in her own fucked up way, would sacrifice everything in order to help and nurture me. She doesn't have anything more important in her life than her children, and most of her misbehaviour comes from a deep-seated need to feel connected to her kids.

In a general sense, there's the dilemma. Either you withdraw your attention to show disapproval, or you maintain your connection despite a difference of values and lifestyle.

I think, in your case, it's not toxic to you personally that she is heading towards nontraditional sexual horizons. Cutting her out of your life sounds drastic.
02-19-2017 07:42 PM
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iop890 Offline
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Post: #37
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 05:46 PM)iop890 Wrote:  Is the forum meme of answering every question with "next her" spilling over into family as well now?

I'll add that having an abundance mentality is good, but it doesn't apply to close family. Replacing some random sloot you nexted because she wanted you to buy her an order of mozzarella sticks is a lot easier than replacing your mother or father.
02-19-2017 08:17 PM
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puckerman Offline
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Post: #38
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
There aren't many things that many players have in common. But one thing many of them do have in common is that they love their parents. I never met a man who loved his parents more than Ross Jeffries. Even psychopaths who beat their wives will treat their moms like queens.

I stopped hating my mother after a very intense ayahuasca ceremony about two years ago. After that, everything changed with women for me for the better.

Women can tell when you love your mother and when you hate your mother. You disrespect your mom, women will know. You love your mom, women will know.
02-19-2017 10:07 PM
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 10:07 PM)puckerman Wrote:  I stopped hating my mother after a very intense ayahuasca ceremony about two years ago.
After that, everything changed with women for me for the better.

[Image: tumblr_o50s92RMxT1s9a9yjo1_400.gif]


You mean the super drug that lets you talk to "entities" in another dimension as described in these threads ?

Ayahuasca and the body
https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-33936.html

5-MeO-DMT - The God Molecule
https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-59841.html
02-19-2017 10:48 PM
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
Merc, what's your point?

These drugs fascinate me. I've tried neither, but I'm extremely interested in the results of those who have.
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 11:29 PM by Hoser.)
02-19-2017 11:27 PM
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Splord Offline
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Post: #41
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 06:48 PM)Uruz Wrote:  I would laugh at her and a lot. I make fun of my mother as she gained a lot of weight in recent years after divorcing my father, if she claimed to be lesbian, my abs would hurt from laughter and I would laugh at her partners as well. If she claims to be lesbian, she is just a kid, behave toward her like she is one.

Dont understand how can a grown up female that gave a birth to a kid claim such a teenage bullshit like "I am a lesbian.". What the fuck, I thought that lesbians are like unicorns or something, still need to meet some.

It's all the time the same bullshit, mother or not, women got some selfish desire, they don't like something or they like something else that they don't have and they end up fucking up their family because of that shit and putting their kids on the second place, that's the thing with the equality and other fairytales. Normally you would just laugh at her and tell her to go back to kitchen if she came up with some shit like "I want divorce" or "I am lesbian now.", if she persisted just slap her and send her back to the kitchen again. But nowadays they think that life is a motherfucking game or some shit.

That's a very valid responce, I mean how else can you respond to a juvenile level "declaration" from a person who's supposed to be the complete opposite of an immature teenager?
The opportunities here are endless, start talking about lesbian acceptance and then forgetting webpages open on "step-mom fantasies" on pornhub, bonus points if her partner finds out first, that should give her a hint!
02-20-2017 11:33 AM
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Post: #42
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
As OP havent gave us much details everything comes down to one question "How much do you dislike faggots?"

When applying your situation to my family.. It just feels so surreal. If it was my mom, I would probably still keep some contact with her but not much and I would not let her near my kids by any means "The grandma is dead, son.". If it was my father I would never speak with him again probably, would feel like he disgraced my entire family line.

No tolerance for degenerates.

If we tolerate certain behaviour and don't punish for it (yeah you can do it on personal level), everyone will think that it's ok thing to do.

"But hey she is still your mom you got to love her." (Sure, it's not like almost every female on this earth in the entire fucking history gave birth to someone, she is somehow special for being his mom and the rules don't apply to her.) - In fact you should be much more unforgiving toward your own people.

[Image: C0d6_Di_TUQAAh_HR4.jpg]
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2017 12:56 PM by Uruz.)
02-20-2017 12:51 PM
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TheWhiteWolf Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
Sorry for taking so long to respond. I will provide you with a few more details one of the reasons this upsets me so much is I already have a deep seated resentment towards my mother yes she treated me nice growing up but her having me at such a late age is probably the reason I have autism. I confronted her about being gay and she said that it’s just so hard to find a man at her age. I told her thanks to her I’m probably never going to find it a girl and experience love and happiness. I don't mean to be so harsh but unless you live with autism you cannot understand the hatred I have for older mothers. So her being gay is just the icing on the cake of why I resent her
02-20-2017 02:51 PM
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-20-2017 02:51 PM)TheWhiteWolf Wrote:  Sorry for taking so long to respond. I will provide you with a few more details one of the reasons this upsets me so much is I already have a deep seated resentment towards my mother yes she treated me nice growing up but her having me at such a late age is probably the reason I have autism. I confronted her about being gay and she said that it’s just so hard to find a man at her age. I told her thanks to her I’m probably never going to find it a girl and experience love and happiness. I don't mean to be so harsh but unless you live with autism you cannot understand the hatred I have for older mothers. So her being gay is just the icing on the cake of why I resent her


I really don't think autism has anything at all to do with the mother's age. Without going into too much detail, for more than a decade I have dealt with statistical data on families covering various countries over hundreds of years and can assure you that younger mother's children are just as likely to have mental disabilities as older mothers. The only reason an older mother's children may be not as healthy is down to the lifestyle that mother leads from age 15 to 40. Healthy lifestyle = Healthy children and vice versa.

However, there IS evidence that autism may be hereditary. Perhaps your mother has aspergers as well. Many married couples with children split up because of a failure to understand one another....however an undiagnosed autistic condition in one of the parents often can be the underlining reason for that, which neither parent was aware of when they orignally split up.

What are the reasons your parents split up and do any of your siblings also have aspergers ?
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2017 03:14 PM by Mercenary.)
02-20-2017 03:13 PM
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-20-2017 03:13 PM)Mercenary Wrote:  
(02-20-2017 02:51 PM)TheWhiteWolf Wrote:  Sorry for taking so long to respond. I will provide you with a few more details one of the reasons this upsets me so much is I already have a deep seated resentment towards my mother yes she treated me nice growing up but her having me at such a late age is probably the reason I have autism. I confronted her about being gay and she said that it’s just so hard to find a man at her age. I told her thanks to her I’m probably never going to find it a girl and experience love and happiness. I don't mean to be so harsh but unless you live with autism you cannot understand the hatred I have for older mothers. So her being gay is just the icing on the cake of why I resent her


I really don't think autism has anything at all to do with the mother's age. Without going into too much detail, for more than a decade I have dealt with statistical data on families covering various countries over hundreds of years and can assure you that younger mother's children are just as likely to have mental disabilities as older mothers. The only reason an older mother's children may be not as healthy is down to the lifestyle that mother leads from age 15 to 40. Healthy lifestyle = Healthy children and vice versa.

However, there IS evidence that autism may be hereditary. Perhaps your mother has aspergers as well. Many married couples with children split up because of a failure to understand one another....however an undiagnosed autistic condition in one of the parents often can be the underlining reason for that, which neither parent was aware of when they orignally split up.

What are the reasons your parents split up and do any of your siblings also have aspergers ?
I don't know the for sure why my parents split up it happened when I was very young my dad was an abusive drunk so that might have been the reason no I do not have any siblings. Both my parents were very social though an didn't show any signs of Asperger. So that's why I equated to my mother being 32 when she gave birth to me
02-20-2017 03:46 PM
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 08:55 AM)TheWhiteWolf Wrote:  I just found out my mom is a lesbian. Needless to say this came at a great shock to me and I don't know how to feel about. I still want to support her because he’s been a good mother towards me. But I do not support the degenerate gay lifestyle for personal and religious reasons. Has anyone else had parent who was gay if so how did you deal with it.

The question you should be asking is now how to deal with a parent who is gay; the question should be why you father dropped the ball and led your mother to go down that path.

Nearly all women are sexually fluid as they are not by majority hard wired and binary like men. So I don't ever go with the argument that women just "turn gay" most women would be down for it regardless so what typically happens is a man has scarred them or shook them away from enjoying or embracing masculine energy. Most women run away and turn into lesbians because they don't know how to handle to deal with masculine energy.

This is the questions to ask and they are important because if your father had a very defined role in raising you up (I have no idea.. I am assuming both parents started together?) then some of these traits may have rubbed off on you and you may unintendedly do this to women in your life down the road.

A weak hand or an adamant hand can scare away women from masculine energy. You could be a knuckle-dragging alpha who beats on women for sport or a weak and limp beta man with a spine as healthy as a noodle that turns a woman completely off from the energy of a man. Those are the extremes of course, but from my observations, over the years I have seen these extremes shake up women and scare them away to go hide out in Lesbian land.

Or course she could have been hard-wired to like women from her youth. If your mum was Butch a hell and very masculine then she likely was just not living up to what she wanted and just went with the standard approach which was to find a man and have a family.
02-20-2017 03:55 PM
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-20-2017 03:46 PM)TheWhiteWolf Wrote:  I don't know the for sure why my parents split up it happened when I was very young my dad was an abusive drunk so that might have been the reason no I do not have any siblings. Both my parents were very social though an didn't show any signs of Asperger. So that's why I equated to my mother being 32 when she gave birth to me

I know mothers much older than that whose children have no disabilities whatsoever either physical or mental. Unless you mother led a hedonstic lifestyle I would exclude this possibility.

Some of the asperger women I dated (and/or slept with) had strong bisexual tendencies, thats why I suspect your mother may have symptoms of that too....but it may also be that she is following the "new normal" in society.

Aspergers is much more difficult to diagnose in women then men but your mother might want to consider taking a few psych tests just to be sure.
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2017 03:58 PM by Mercenary.)
02-20-2017 03:57 PM
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-20-2017 03:57 PM)Mercenary Wrote:  
(02-20-2017 03:46 PM)TheWhiteWolf Wrote:  I don't know the for sure why my parents split up it happened when I was very young my dad was an abusive drunk so that might have been the reason no I do not have any siblings. Both my parents were very social though an didn't show any signs of Asperger. So that's why I equated to my mother being 32 when she gave birth to me

I know mothers much older than that whose children have no disabilities whatsoever either physical or mental. Unless you mother led a hedonstic lifestyle I would exclude this possibility.

Some of the asperger women I dated (and/or slept with) had strong bisexual tendencies, thats why I suspect your mother may have symptoms of that too....but it may also be that she is following the "new normal" in society.

Aspergers is much more difficult to diagnose in women then men but your mother might want to consider taking a few psych tests just to be sure.
I think it might have have been my dad who was the aspie. Will never know since he died when I was 16 he wasn't a much of a father anyways.
My grandfather on my mom's side showed autistic symptoms he was a chemist who had poor social skills. i read a statistic that men with aspergers are more likely to be in healthy relationships than women. Sent men can get away traditionally with having lower social skills than women. Men don't find a socially retarded woman attractive on the other hand man can play up this up as the strong silent type
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2017 06:23 PM by TheWhiteWolf.)
02-20-2017 05:46 PM
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-20-2017 05:46 PM)TheWhiteWolf Wrote:  I think it might have have been my dad who was the aspie. Will never know since he died when I was 16 he wasn't a much of a father anyways.
My grandfather on my mom's side showed autistic symptoms he was a chemist who had poor social skills. i read a statistic that men with aspergers are more likely to be in healthy relationships than women. Sent men can get away traditionally with having lower social skills than women. Men don't find a socially retarded woman attractive on the other hand man can play up this up as the strong silent type

It sounds like your parents have been apart for a long time and your father died quite a while ago. In all the years since they split up has your mother dated other men at all ? Did you have a stepfather ? This kind of analysis will help you figure out what brought your mother to this lifestyle choice.


I think mothers of children born with aspergers or full on autism (or any disability for that matter) feel enormously guilty for something that in 90% of cases (provided they didn't lead a unhealthy life) isn't even their fault. This can lead to all sorts of depressive states and "strange" behaviour. Lesbianism may just be her "safety blanket" in a situation she feels she cannot ever solve.

You need to have empathy and compassion for your mother if you want to help her get away from this sort of lifestyle. And that is the crux of your problem, because people with aspergers have a very, very, VERY hard time imagining things from any other point of view apart from their own. This is not an accusation. This is simply the way the aspergers disability manifests itself most strongly in the human brain. An ability to show or feel empathy for others is very tough for an autistic mind. But you can train yourself to it. How do I know this ? Because I have seen other people on the autistic spectrum do it. Takes time and effort, but it can be done.

If you can master that skill, your life will change with it.
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2017 07:17 PM by Mercenary.)
02-20-2017 07:07 PM
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Post: #50
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-20-2017 07:07 PM)Mercenary Wrote:  
(02-20-2017 05:46 PM)TheWhiteWolf Wrote:  I think it might have have been my dad who was the aspie. Will never know since he died when I was 16 he wasn't a much of a father anyways.
My grandfather on my mom's side showed autistic symptoms he was a chemist who had poor social skills. i read a statistic that men with aspergers are more likely to be in healthy relationships than women. Sent men can get away traditionally with having lower social skills than women. Men don't find a socially retarded woman attractive on the other hand man can play up this up as the strong silent type

It sounds like your parents have been apart for a long time and your father died quite a while ago. In all the years since they split up has your mother dated other men at all ? Did you have a stepfather ? This kind of analysis will help you figure out what brought your mother to this lifestyle choice.


I think mothers of children born with aspergers or full on autism (or any disability for that matter) feel enormously guilty for something that in 90% of cases (provided they didn't lead a unhealthy life) isn't even their fault. This can lead to all sorts of depressive states and "strange" behaviour. Lesbianism may just be her "safety blanket" in a situation she feels she cannot ever solve.

You need to have empathy and compassion for your mother if you want to help her get away from this sort of lifestyle. And that is the crux of your problem, because people with aspergers have a very, very, VERY hard time imagining things from any other point of view apart from their own. This is not an accusation. This is simply the way the aspergers disability manifests itself most strongly in the human brain. An ability to show or feel empathy for others is very tough for an autistic mind. But you can train yourself to it. How do I know this ? Because I have seen other people on the autistic spectrum do it. Takes time and effort, but it can be done.

If you can master that skill, your life will change with it.

See my mom doesn't take any responsibility for what she's done. Every time I bring up the fact that her genes might have caused my autism she angrily changes the subject. And perhaps it was her overbearing parenting style that made my aspergers worst. Also how many of these mothers who claim to love their autistic sons would've rejected a man with the same condition when they were in their prime
02-21-2017 12:45 PM
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