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How to deal with a parent whos gay
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TheWhiteWolf Offline
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Post: #1
How to deal with a parent whos gay
I just found out my mom is a lesbian. Needless to say this came at a great shock to me and I don't know how to feel about. I still want to support her because he’s been a good mother towards me. But I do not support the degenerate gay lifestyle for personal and religious reasons. Has anyone else had parent who was gay if so how did you deal with it.
02-19-2017 08:55 AM
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Ethan Hunt Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
When I found out my mom was dating a Muslim I dropped all contact with her. She eventually came to her senses and dated a man of her own race.

Not quite same as your situation but similar I guess.
02-19-2017 09:01 AM
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Fortis Away
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Post: #3
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
^ lolWUT

[Image: 4b9.jpg]

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 09:13 AM by Fortis.)
02-19-2017 09:10 AM
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Mercenary Offline
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Post: #4
RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
She obviously was not a lesbian her whole life, otherwise you would have not been born. She is probably bisexual and has recently preferred seeing women rather than men.

Can you figure out when she started changing her preferences ?

Also, what kind of women is she dating ?
02-19-2017 10:01 AM
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Latan Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
OP, your father must really have disappointed your mother, in order to make her change border.
Don't follow any of his dating advices.
02-19-2017 10:03 AM
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Paracelsus Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
Cut her off. Life's too short to have to deal with degenerates' issues, and your mother now is revealed as one. You are not an extra on the set of a Rob Reiner-directed TV series.

She was a good mother towards you? That's the trap a lot of guys fall into: her being a good mother was her obligation towards you as your fucking mother, not a gift that you have an obligation to repay. Being a good mother is base competence in the role, not an A grade. Insofar as you had any obligations as a result of being a good mother, you satisfied them when you presumably didn't have a kid out of wedlock, didn't take drugs, and otherwise did not humiliate her to her friends.

Remissas, discite, vivet.
God save us from people who mean well. -storm
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 10:32 AM by Paracelsus.)
02-19-2017 10:32 AM
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XPQ22 Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 10:32 AM)Paracelsus Wrote:  She was a good mother towards you? That's the trap a lot of guys fall into: her being a good mother was her obligation towards you as your fucking mother, not a gift that you have an obligation to repay. Being a good mother is base competence in the role, not an A grade. Insofar as you had any obligations as a result of being a good mother, you satisfied them when you presumably didn't have a kid out of wedlock, didn't take drugs, and otherwise did not humiliate her to her friends.

Yep, it's true and something that a lot of mothers (and fathers) don't seem to get. Being a good parent is the base level of competency for the job, not something you get a medal for.

I think he was frankly lucky to have base competency, though, as so many men don't. I didn't. And the sad irony is that it seems the more incompetent the parent was, they more they expect to be "rewarded" later in life for the "privilege"!

If OP doesn't want to cut her off (and let's be honest here that's a really hard step to take) then I'd suggest treating the "coming out" how you'd respond to any type of female attention-whoring: just ignore. "That's fascinating. I guess people are all sorts of things these days. What else is new?"

If she tries to rope you into any kind of relationship drama she's having I'd just play it to the left and be pleasant but disinterested. "Well, I guess all types of relationships can be hard sometimes."

It's weird to say but game techniques work pretty well on controlling, histrionic, and attention-seeking female relatives also. You're 25 years old and Mom is still asking what you're doing when you go out? "I'm going out to bang hookers, Mom. I'm going to get all the hookers and coke and that's what I'm gonna do!"

You've got a race-troll aunt who keeps asking why you're dating that Asian girl? "I have five Asian girlfriends. Five. Love foreign women, nothing better!"

If they get pissed then tough luck - they fucking asked stupid questions.
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 12:10 PM by XPQ22.)
02-19-2017 12:07 PM
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medicine man: Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 10:32 AM)Paracelsus Wrote:  That's the trap a lot of guys fall into: her being a good mother was her obligation towards you as your fucking mother, not a gift that you have an obligation to repay.

every gift you receive must be repaid. it was YOU who picked your parents and it was YOU who received their love, care and attention - in whatever fucked-up form it came from your own mother. you owe her and no amount of mental gymnastics on your part will erase that debt. NONE!
02-19-2017 12:25 PM
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SamuelBRoberts Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
" it was YOU who picked your parents"

Did I do this?
I don't remember doing this.

I'd think I'd remember doing this if I did this.
But I don't remember doing this.
02-19-2017 12:29 PM
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medicine man: Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 12:29 PM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  " it was YOU who picked your parents"

Did I do this?
I don't remember doing this.

I'd think I'd remember doing this if I did this.
But I don't remember doing this.

yes you did and yes there are certain techniques that can help you recall the moment you made that choice.
02-19-2017 12:33 PM
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Elster Away
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
^
Yeah, looking back on it,really regret that choice.
Wanted to save some astral-coin for my reincarnation as a galactic devourer so I took the ones that were on the discontinued bin since they looked so worn and badass , the attendant was horrified and he even offered me a discount on the standard deal with a 16 year no divorce guarantee but I had to have my way and took the others.

Just remember,fellers: What is cheap ends up costing expensive.
Specially in the Dharmic financial arena!

We move between light and shadow, mutually influencing and being influenced through shades of gray...
02-19-2017 12:44 PM
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
^^^

you live - you learn.
02-19-2017 12:53 PM
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Hoser Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
My mother also came out as lesbian. Said she "always" was. Sigh. It's been decades now of drama and butthurt for no good reason.

Most people who go gay have low opinions of their self-worth. Something is missing inside your mom's soul. Don't entertain her fantasy that she will somehow fill that void by re-creating herself as lesbian.

How do you support such a person? The same way you would a relative who had any other mental illness. Be patient but not a pushover. Avoid going places in the conversation that are likely to stir her up, but don't pretend she's okay. Be a rock. She can rest on the rock if she needs to, but attempts to move it must be seen as futile. Lesbian or not, all women need men in their lives whom they see as rocks.

Take care of yourself, too. Give yourself permission to create some distance between you and her, if needed, for your own mental health. You probably can't fix her, so don't wear yourself out trying. Keep yourself sane enough that, if she eventually comes to her senses, you'll still have energy left to be the safe and loving son she can turn to for support.
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 01:47 PM by Hoser.)
02-19-2017 01:23 PM
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medicine man: Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
^^^ i dunno man, but i LOVE steering shit up with my mother (who is neither a lesbian nor mentally ill) and forming her into a better version of self. lots of tears, crying and empty threats on her part but also lots of love, caring and affection afterwards.

the rest of your advice is spot on. FOR A LAWYER!!!

:-)
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 01:32 PM by medicine man:.)
02-19-2017 01:27 PM
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PapayaTapper Away
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 12:33 PM)medicine man Wrote:  
(02-19-2017 12:29 PM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  " it was YOU who picked your parents"

Did I do this?
I don't remember doing this.

I'd think I'd remember doing this if I did this.
But I don't remember doing this.

yes you did and yes there are certain techniques that can help you recall the moment you made that choice.

Ok...care to elaborate?

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02-19-2017 01:31 PM
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Gambler Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 10:32 AM)Paracelsus Wrote:  Cut her off. Life's too short to have to deal with degenerates' issues, and your mother now is revealed as one. You are not an extra on the set of a Rob Reiner-directed TV series.

I don't understand how cutting off your mother can ever be an answer. Even if she becomes an alcoholic, a lesbian or a criminal.
You can choose your wife or your friends. But you cannot choose family. They just are who they are.

Family is one of the most important things in life. It's your bloodline, your history it's part of who you are. To quote Vin Diesel's character from Fast and Furious: "You don't turn your back on family, even when they do."
02-19-2017 03:26 PM
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UlteriorMotive Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 03:26 PM)Gambler Wrote:  But you cannot choose family.

I disagree with this way of thinking.

It does not matter who the person is, if they are bringing you down or having a negative impact on your life you cut them out.

Our time on this planet is short, why would you bother to keep people around who bring no value to your life.
02-19-2017 03:33 PM
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Kona Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 12:29 PM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  " it was YOU who picked your parents"

Did I do this?
I don't remember doing this.

I'd think I'd remember doing this if I did this.
But I don't remember doing this.

I actually picked them for you. It was my pleasure.

Seriously though, don't completely cut off your mother because she licks pussy.

Some friend or acquaint I get, but that's your mother.

She's gonna be gone some day, and you are or ally going to regret the time wasted over fights.

Just get over it.

Aloha!
02-19-2017 03:42 PM
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Hoser Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
"Cut them out" is for extreme, prolonged cases of familial adversity. "Give yourself space" is probably the better first reaction.

My mom imposed a "moratorium" on our communications 5 years ago. She sent a few messages in that time, and I never replied (she owed me an apology, but I never said so). Just two days ago, I decided to respond. I kept it strictly business (basically, 'I'm reluctant to step back into this minefield. What do you propose?").

To my surprise, and delight, Mom responded with a hearty apology (the first I've EVER seen from her) and a request to normalize relations between us.

Be the rock.
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 04:07 PM by Hoser.)
02-19-2017 03:42 PM
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Dr. Howard Away
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
I can't provide concrete advice on these mother turned lesbian situations until I see pictures.

The advice is totally different if she's like Milf Lisa Ann hot or Mac from sunny in philadelphia mom dyke.

Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
02-19-2017 04:08 PM
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
Dude listen-love your mother because she loves you more than anyone on this earth. Your mother is a human being and all humans make choices some good some bad. Listen to me very carefully, your mother will be dead before you most likely and you will have to face this world without her unconditional love and qben that time comes you will see how little this romantic choice of her's really matters in the larger scope of things. Love and respect your mother, not her choices.

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02-19-2017 04:22 PM
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
^^^ Standing ovation for Atlanta Man

I'm serious. Mom is unlike any other person in your life, flawed as she may be. Mine is epicly flawed, but I'm glad to have her, caustic as her presence so often is.

"The Mother:

When your mother has grown older,
When her dear, faithful eyes
no longer see life as they once did,
When her feet, grown tired,
No longer want to carry her as she walks –
Then lend her your arm in support,
Escort her with happy pleasure.
The hour will come when, weeping, you
Must accompany her on her final walk.
And if she asks you something,
Then give her an answer.
And if she asks again, then speak!
And if she asks yet again, respond to her,
Not impatiently, but with gentle calm.
And if she cannot understand you properly
Explain all to her happily.
The hour will come, the bitter hour,
When her mouth asks for nothing more.”

- Adolf Hitler, 1923.
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2017 05:12 PM by Hoser.)
02-19-2017 04:54 PM
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Gimlet Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
Women go lesbian later in life out of necessity. A fifty year old woman wants companionship and affection. What man is going to stick around to give her that on a regular basis? None. But another lonely older woman? Absolutely. And besides, lesbian couples in their twenties don't have much sex... No way is a 50 year in this for the pussy. Your mom is probably lonely and made her best choice given the lack of options. Now if your dad went gay, he'd be in it for the D. But women are different.
02-19-2017 05:03 PM
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TravelerKai Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
OP, this is not a serious crisis that it appears to be.

Take the Christian approach. Love her, forgive her, and pray for her. No doubt your dad and his background maybe exacerbated it, but now that you are becoming the male leader of your family when your grandfather eventually leaves the stage, you will have to learn how to lead the tribe.

I have one in my family, although a cousin, but I also have several hardcore feminists, and other assorted hard headed women to deal with, that are worse than the gay one. My father in law has a second wife, basically a mistress.

Set boundaries and ground rules.

Don't allow them to spread the dysfunctional stuff to your children. If they start discussing certain things cut the conversation off immediately or take the child away from them.

I don't allow that mistress to handle my children. When my daughter is older she will not be allowed to talk to her. Culture takes a back seat to Christ, and I don't tolerate things against that.

If we are at family meetups the gay partner is not allowed or we are not going.

If a certain evil aunt is present, we are not attending, and I always notify my mother before I bother getting everyone else ready to go.

You need to learn how to set the tone and the pace for how things go from now on. Every holiday feast, you ask your grandfather to let you do the prayer before eating sometimes.

Cling to the family members that live right and have children. You are bound to have some in your extended family on either side. Find them and start building bonds stronger. If you don't, stick to your church families.

You have plenty time now to get things set up. Don't panic. You don't even have a girlfriend yet. Women and children are hardly different you will find once you get married with children. I have to corral my mother more than I wish I had to, but I must do it because the Bible says that is my responsibility to lead her, the wife, and the children.

Don't fret when life throws stones at you, steel your nerves, take up the sword and breast plate of righteousness. Stand firm and be the leader God called you to be.

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02-19-2017 05:10 PM
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Kona Offline
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RE: How to deal with a parent whos gay
(02-19-2017 04:54 PM)Hoser Wrote:  "The Mother:

When your mother has grown older,
When her dear, faithful eyes
no longer see life as they once did,
When her feet, grown tired,
No longer want to carry her as she walks –
Then lend her your arm in support,
Escort her with happy pleasure.
The hour will come when, weeping, you
Must accompany her on her final walk.
And if she asks you something,
Then give her an answer.
And if she asks again, then speak!
And if she asks yet again, respond to her,
Not impatiently, but with gentle calm.
And if she cannot understand you properly
Explain all to her happily.
The hour will come, the bitter hour,
When her mouth asks for nothing more.”

- Adolf Hitler, 1923.

Hallmark cards for skinheads.

Aloha!
02-19-2017 05:22 PM
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