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Finally things are going good but still something missing.
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TheDuncan Offline
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Post: #1
Finally things are going good but still something missing.
Got a decent job where I can make money, spend and save every paycheck, got my own place with a girl who gives me support in everything, got my own car, pay my own bills, cut out toxic friends and family, stopped patrying and wasting unessasary money.

Overall I am leagues above the man I used to be just a year ago, I am eating healthier and women are always eying me down when im with my girl, so all fine and dandy right? Not quite, I cant really put my finger on it but something is missing, I dont feel satisfied, I was going to join the military last year active duty but I ended up backing out, part of me still wants to at least join the reserves, I am 27 maybe its too early to tell but I dunno if I am cut out for this "home life" stuff, I need constant new in my life, I want to be able to travel, do different things, be around new people, I hate being in a constant state of the same, in some ways I appreciate it like my woman and her support but I just dont know.

I dont want to make it sound bleak, I have improved my self ten fold compared to what I was but I hope someone understands my point of view.
02-25-2017 01:06 PM
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qwertyuiop Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
(02-25-2017 01:06 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  Got a decent job where I can make money, spend and save every paycheck, got my own place with a girl who gives me support in everything, got my own car, pay my own bills, cut out toxic friends and family, stopped patrying and wasting unessasary money.

Overall I am leagues above the man I used to be just a year ago, I am eating healthier and women are always eying me down when im with my girl, so all fine and dandy right? Not quite, I cant really put my finger on it but something is missing, I dont feel satisfied, I was going to join the military last year active duty but I ended up backing out, part of me still wants to at least join the reserves, I am 27 maybe its too early to tell but I dunno if I am cut out for this "home life" stuff, I need constant new in my life, I want to be able to travel, do different things, be around new people, I hate being in a constant state of the same, in some ways I appreciate it like my woman and her support but I just dont know.

I dont want to make it sound bleak, I have improved my self ten fold compared to what I was but I hope someone understands my point of view.

I'm sort of in a similar situation. A few years of grinding, 24, tall, probably going to hit a 6 figure job in a year or two (engineering degree + sales). Stuff is going well and I have gotten complacent.

I just hit thailand for 2 weeks and it really helped a lot. Perfect place to take a girl for a few weeks if you can both get some time off.

Start a business? Move to a new place? Get a better job? Options are endless. Just make it happen.
02-25-2017 06:04 PM
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BrewDog Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
Joining the military is perhaps a longer commitment than you need just to get some excitement in your life. Find something you've always wanted to do and then go.

-Fly a plane.
-Jump out of one.
-Climb Kilimanjaro.
-Raft the Colorado
-Hike the Appalachian Trail
-Go deepsea fishing
-Bike the Death Road
-Scuba the Blue Hole
-Colombia Cocaine Tour (this is a real thing)
-Backpack Across Europe

Find something new and exciting and get off your ass and go. A bucket list at the end of life is near worthless. Do that shit while you're young.
(This post was last modified: 02-25-2017 07:11 PM by BrewDog.)
02-25-2017 07:10 PM
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Hoser Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
OP: look up "enneagram type 7".

I'll give you a taste below. Not saying this applies to you, but if it does, recognizing it is a helpful first step:

Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness.

At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.

Key Motivations: Want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain

Need: You need self-confidence, options, patience and to be noticed by others. Also, you need to be positive and optimistic. Because you are always on the lookout for the BBD (bigger, better deal), you need plans that are flexible and fluid. If you have open-ended plans, you can go with the flow. Flexibility gives you the option to change your mind at the last minute.

Avoid: You avoid boredom, sadness and emotional pain. You fear limitation, feeling trapped or appearing inferior. Feeling incomplete or confined, or missing out are among your deepest fears. You avoid painful emotions because you are afraid that you will become overwhelmed if you talk about or feel them. You also avoid negative people as they can bring you down. This can lead you to avoid the present by living in a future fantasy of plans.

PS: the enneagram types do NOT read like horoscopes. Comparing this to the other types (there are nine) shows the personalities to be markedly different.

Let me know if this helps or if I'm way off. Engineers tend not to be 7s so often, but it was worth a shot.
(This post was last modified: 02-25-2017 09:36 PM by Hoser.)
02-25-2017 09:31 PM
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jj90 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
(02-25-2017 06:04 PM)qwertyuiop Wrote:  I just hit thailand for 2 weeks and it really helped a lot. Perfect place to take a girl for a few weeks if you can both get some time off.

Wait what? Your bringing sand to the beach? Shit nigga.
02-25-2017 09:41 PM
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qwertyuiop Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
(02-25-2017 09:41 PM)jj90 Wrote:  
(02-25-2017 06:04 PM)qwertyuiop Wrote:  I just hit thailand for 2 weeks and it really helped a lot. Perfect place to take a girl for a few weeks if you can both get some time off.

Wait what? Your bringing sand to the beach? Shit nigga.

Shit, I saw plenty of couples checking out the temples.

This is assuming he wants to keep his girl. If not then by all means to go Thailand and fuck everything that moves.
02-25-2017 09:56 PM
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qwertyuiop Offline
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RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
(02-25-2017 01:06 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  Got a decent job where I can make money, spend and save every paycheck, got my own place with a girl who gives me support in everything, got my own car, pay my own bills, cut out toxic friends and family, stopped patrying and wasting unessasary money.

Overall I am leagues above the man I used to be just a year ago, I am eating healthier and women are always eying me down when im with my girl, so all fine and dandy right? Not quite, I cant really put my finger on it but something is missing, I dont feel satisfied, I was going to join the military last year active duty but I ended up backing out, part of me still wants to at least join the reserves, I am 27 maybe its too early to tell but I dunno if I am cut out for this "home life" stuff, I need constant new in my life, I want to be able to travel, do different things, be around new people, I hate being in a constant state of the same, in some ways I appreciate it like my woman and her support but I just dont know.

I dont want to make it sound bleak, I have improved my self ten fold compared to what I was but I hope someone understands my point of view.

Bro I just read your making $600 a week. Fuck that shit and get your ass to ND and on a rig. The oilfield is back. Call and secure a job before you go though.

You can make that much in 2 days or less.
02-25-2017 10:00 PM
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BrewDog Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
(02-25-2017 10:00 PM)qwertyuiop Wrote:  Bro I just read your making $600 a week.

Well, now we know what's missing.
02-25-2017 10:45 PM
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Hoser Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
$600 a week + "decent job" aren't mutually exclusive. A little underwhelming, yeah, but if he can keep his expenses down, he's doing fine.
02-25-2017 11:41 PM
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Veloce Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
OP you need to read Roosh's old blog posts about this, he's got quite a few of them.

It's just normal guy shit. No matter what new level you reach, it'll get old. You hit plateaus and then feel driven to push yourself to the next one.

You can expect that you'll go through this for your young adult life. I'm turning 36 this year and I still go through it.

Though, one thing you should start to address is your inner happiness. Understand that, as long as you gauge your happiness in your external affairs, you will never be happy. You can have a million dollars and a model on your arm but still be spiritually devoid.

You need to enrich your spirit with meditation, prayer, or some other sort of spiritual practice. Something not involving money, status, sex, power, etc.

Where it gets interesting is applying the lessons you learn during your spiritual practice to "the real world." But many others have taught these principals far better than I can. You need to do your research.

"...so I gave her an STD, and she STILL wanted to bang me."

TEAM NO APPS

TEAM PINK
02-26-2017 02:27 AM
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Post: #11
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
Pick a new goal. Sounds like you hit a plateau. push yourself to do something new. I was reasonably comfortable back in America but I was angry and restless so I packed up and left and gave myself a new challenge: china.

Find a new challenge to push you to a new level of development.

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
02-26-2017 02:40 AM
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MongolianAbroad Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
(02-25-2017 09:41 PM)jj90 Wrote:  
(02-25-2017 06:04 PM)qwertyuiop Wrote:  I just hit thailand for 2 weeks and it really helped a lot. Perfect place to take a girl for a few weeks if you can both get some time off.

Wait what? Your bringing sand to the beach? Shit nigga.

If his girl's a non-Asian girl, he's bringing rocks to the beach.

Gtfo
02-26-2017 02:45 AM
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ExploringReality Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
(02-26-2017 02:27 AM)Veloce Wrote:  OP you need to read Roosh's old blog posts about this, he's got quite a few of them.

It's just normal guy shit. No matter what new level you reach, it'll get old. You hit plateaus and then feel driven to push yourself to the next one.

You can expect that you'll go through this for your young adult life. I'm turning 36 this year and I still go through it.

Though, one thing you should start to address is your inner happiness. Understand that, as long as you gauge your happiness in your external affairs, you will never be happy. You can have a million dollars and a model on your arm but still be spiritually devoid.

You need to enrich your spirit with meditation, prayer, or some other sort of spiritual practice. Something not involving money, status, sex, power, etc.

Where it gets interesting is applying the lessons you learn during your spiritual practice to "the real world." But many others have taught these principals far better than I can. You need to do your research.

This, it really is basic male nature. This is why we have skyscrapers, and smartphones, and the reason why we used to go to war. Veloce points out to Roosh-s old blog posts, and I think that his new videos about happiness and its relation with self/improvement (which he argues is unnecessary) are even more spot on.

In the end, I think, the key is to find a balance between going further on your goals and becoming content with your current situation. Tricky, but doable if we look back into the past at the great stoics (not matter if they really were part of the Stoa). Excelsior!
02-26-2017 02:53 AM
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MongolianAbroad Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
(02-25-2017 01:06 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  Got a decent job where I can make money, spend and save every paycheck, got my own place with a girl who gives me support in everything, got my own car, pay my own bills, cut out toxic friends and family, stopped patrying and wasting unessasary money.

Overall I am leagues above the man I used to be just a year ago, I am eating healthier and women are always eying me down when im with my girl, so all fine and dandy right? Not quite, I cant really put my finger on it but something is missing, I dont feel satisfied, I was going to join the military last year active duty but I ended up backing out, part of me still wants to at least join the reserves, I am 27 maybe its too early to tell but I dunno if I am cut out for this "home life" stuff, I need constant new in my life, I want to be able to travel, do different things, be around new people, I hate being in a constant state of the same, in some ways I appreciate it like my woman and her support but I just dont know.

I dont want to make it sound bleak, I have improved my self ten fold compared to what I was but I hope someone understands my point of view.

I've been there, man.

Whatever you decide, make sure it's based on logical thinking. If you've really got it good, good job, good girl, removed the toxicity, etc., then before you make any big decisions, make sure you're not just being an ungrateful little shit.

There's a tendency in some of us to not be satisfied no matter what, to keep moving, to keep advancing, to keep exploring, and while this tendency can push us to excel in some ways, it can also push us to carelessly throw away or leave behind things that we fought hard to earn/accomplish/create in the first place.

If you really are unhappy, for valid reasons, then by all means, make some changes, but if you're just restless, you've really got to examine why that is, in order to know if you're making the right moves to address it or if you're being a slave to some kind of instinct that will hurt you in the long run.

The thing is, only you can really make those assessments, and you'll be the one to reap the rewards or carry the burdens thereof.

My advice is to take a day to go for a very long walk in a quiet forest. Take some paper with you and jot down where you are, where you want to go, and how you're going to get there. Analyze everything, your job, your relationship, your health, your career, everything.

Writing this all down helps a lot, because if you don't, it's possible for you to go in circles endlessly without you realizing it.

Good luck, man.
02-26-2017 02:59 AM
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tomzestatlu Offline
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RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
I am 24 and I have similar feelings.
If you feel like, join the reserves. It can entertain you and give you good experiences and skills. But if you have established yourself decent lifestyle, don´t go active duty. You will lose what you achieved (probably everything except material things) and satisfaction probably wouldn´t be so big (until you are obsessed with this and join SOF).
Actually I am in the army, and it gave me this decent lifestyle. I live in my flat, have decent car, have money to spend and sometimes do really interesting stuff. There are big challenges awaiting me. And in the end, I have degree, so if I put some effort in, I could be there until retirement.
I am happy with this life, I know there are many things and experience I can get from this in next few years, but I feel I need to move forward in the future. When I hit 30, my contract will end and by this moment, I would like to have some basics for my own bussiness established.
(This post was last modified: 02-26-2017 07:51 AM by tomzestatlu.)
02-26-2017 07:49 AM
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Nascimento Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.


02-26-2017 08:04 AM
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Sonoma Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Finally things are going good but still something missing.
600 a week is peasant pay. Why are you living with the girl? Will you marry her? What are you doing to make your life better for next year?
02-26-2017 11:03 AM
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