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Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
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MANic Offline
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Post: #1
Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
So, I started my first job a few months back. Just a standard programme acting largely as a filler until I do a PhD next year.

Now the tasks I do are completely unremarkable and unstimulating - made abit more bearable by me reading books when I'm not busy - but I'm competent and complete them all well before deadlines etc.

However, lately I've been dealing with a complete psycho manager. I do not report to her but work closely enough with her to have to endure alot of unpleasant happenings.

She is moody as hell and can get extremely vindictive - I recall asking her for a report which she was suppossed to have forwarded to me and she ended up moving all my deadlines forward and even claimed a report from me was overdue when it was due 2 weeks later.
Today I had to put in a leave form on short notice - for academic reasons - and needed her consent as my boss is away on work. She attemped to make me jump through numerous holes - I eventually told her I wouldn't mind just taking unpaid leave. I left my leave form on her table after she left.

Any advice?

I wouldn't mind resigning either though I would like to earn enough to contribute to my sustenance and further education without reliance on my dad
03-29-2017 11:02 AM
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BackFromTheBrink Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Men-o-pause?

On a slightly more serious note if you can tolerate her bullshit then stick with it otherwise I'd quit if you can find some other gainful employment that will meet your needs.

“I swear it upon Zeus an outstanding runner cannot be the equal of an average wrestler.” - Socrates
(This post was last modified: 03-29-2017 11:19 AM by BackFromTheBrink.)
03-29-2017 11:15 AM
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scrambled Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Age/weight/height/color? (Of bitch)
03-29-2017 11:18 AM
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MANic Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
30 brunette but dyed blonde. 5ft6 probably about 150lbs
03-29-2017 11:39 AM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
How important is the program to you ? How important is to your advancement in your field ?

Weigh the pros and cons.

From what you posted it doesn't sound to serious, if so, just quit.

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03-29-2017 12:07 PM
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UlteriorMotive Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
I had a similar situation at the beginning of my current job.

What is your relationship like with the person above her? (her boss)
03-29-2017 12:15 PM
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SamuelBRoberts Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
There probably isn't a good answer to this. You can't magically fix bitchy, awful people.
03-29-2017 12:42 PM
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AFS Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Regardless of gender, you will meet crazy bosses that just love nothing more than the bust your balls.

As a logical, hard working person, it will drive you insane.

Sometimes we have no choice but to stick around. But sometimes it's worthwhile to quit before you lose your health or sanity. In such cases, just escalate until either she gives up or they sack you.

Once they see you tolerate shit, it's all downhill from there.

Another alternative, since you do not directly report to her, is to do a good job and become valuable to your direct superior. Then complain you can't get your work done because of toxic relationship with the female manager. Either he won't care and will sack you/tell you to eat it, or he will intervene because he doesn't want to lose an employee.
03-29-2017 12:59 PM
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Edmund Ironside Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Experiences will vary a lot, but some quick thoughts based on my own experiences.

It might not matter as much to you since you are still in school, but when you apply for jobs, they will generally ask "why did you leave" about every previous position. Also, and this is just my experience as senior level person in IT, recruiters/hiring managers look a lot more favorably on someone who currently has a job. Again, for someone in school maybe not as applicable.

Another thing you get a lot of during interviews is behavioral questions where they ask you something like "describe a situation where you had a relationship with a difficult person at a previous job, how did you handle it and what were the results". So, as painful as it might be, if you are taking the longer term view, a difficult person like that could be an opportunity for a great interview question answer, if you can figure a way to turn it around. Don't ask me how though ... there are people around here much better at gaming those situations than me. It may well not be worth the aggravation, I'm just throwing the thought out there.

I don't follow my own advice though ... I'd probably be gone, then be having to explain later to the next potential employer why I left, and then they decide I must be difficult to work with, then a few weeks later I have to explain to another interviewer why I've been looking for a job for so long ...
03-29-2017 03:25 PM
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Razor Beast Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Just start looking for new positions now and if tolerating the bs gets too much to bear just leave your current job before you get a new job lined up. If people like you at the companies you interview at they will overlook pretty much everything that could be seen as a negative. Network and be personable - it can help you overcome almost any obstacle.

Oh, and don't put up with crap from some bitter old hag for a middling income. Life is short, be happy.
(This post was last modified: 03-29-2017 04:27 PM by Razor Beast.)
03-29-2017 04:25 PM
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Kona Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
With all due respect that sounds like a standard office job, not a living hell.

Just put up with it, you'll be fine.

Aloha!
03-29-2017 04:42 PM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #12
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
(03-29-2017 11:39 AM)MANic Wrote:  30 brunette but dyed blonde. 5ft6 probably about 150lbs

WNB

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- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
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03-29-2017 04:59 PM
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Edmund Ironside Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
This is what it would look like if it was me trying to improve the situation by being agreeable. I've had conversations very much like this.

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03-29-2017 05:01 PM
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Phoenix Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Try to find a way to manipulate her. Tease out why she's so cranky. No doubt she hates her office job just as much as you, but she simply has the power to pass on her misery to others. Start feeding her donuts and sending her pictures of cute cats or just complimenting her about things. She'll be less inclined to fuck with you once you're providing her with some of the few parts about her job she likes because you'll now have the power to take those away.
03-29-2017 07:40 PM
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CynicalContrarian Offline
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RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Set your ring tone to Metallica's - My Friend Of Misery.
Then have someone call whenever she's near. Rolleyes

03-29-2017 07:46 PM
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Cobra Offline
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RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
(03-29-2017 04:59 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  
(03-29-2017 11:39 AM)MANic Wrote:  30 brunette but dyed blonde. 5ft6 probably about 150lbs

WNB

Agree for reasons highlighted.

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(This post was last modified: 03-29-2017 08:20 PM by Cobra.)
03-29-2017 08:19 PM
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IvanDrago Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
So you are you are at an age where you are going for a PhD and this is your "first" job?

Are just being overly sensitive or misfiring working in a group due to lack of experience?
03-29-2017 08:23 PM
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Nineteen84 Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Don't rise to her bait. Be un-reactive as possible.
Communicate by email as much as you can so everything's in writing.
Avoid unnecessary contact.
Extract yourself from the situation ASAP.
(This post was last modified: 03-30-2017 08:53 AM by Nineteen84.)
03-30-2017 08:51 AM
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Post: #19
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Write random anonymous haiku's and leave them around the office.

Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
The Queen is their slave


She'll get the hint

"Once you've gotten the lay you have won."- Mufasa

"You Miss 100% of the shots you don't take"- Wayne Gretzky
03-30-2017 09:00 AM
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Steve McQueen Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Leave OP, if you are a white male you are fair game.

She is a female in a position of authority, not a good combination in my experience.

The company will always take her side, to do otherwise is to admit liability and open themselves up to a lawsuit.

If you try to take her to task under bullying and harassment laws HR will turn the investigation on you and you will be fired or leave.

All roads lead to the exit door, I say jump ship and find a better environment.
03-30-2017 09:56 AM
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scrambled Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
(03-29-2017 08:19 PM)Cobra Wrote:  
(03-29-2017 04:59 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  
(03-29-2017 11:39 AM)MANic Wrote:  30 brunette but dyed blonde. 5ft6 probably about 150lbs

WNB

Agree for reasons highlighted.

Dat some hefty heifer
03-30-2017 10:59 AM
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blck Offline
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RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Some dumb female boss who got a little power and use it to do wrong.

You might some weak ass dweeb at her eyes (if she's doing it ONLY to you) but the reality is that she might be unpleased (badly fucked or not even fucked at all) and she'll make you pay for it because you're the last one arrived.

You can't confront her directly because she got more weight than you as a superior and as a woman in the society.
So try to come from under and get her sympathy, find out what is her problem is (she may be talking to someone who can give you great intels on her or listen the rumors at the coffee machine) THEN strike (or don't).
Unfucked women tend to lash out on everybody, especially people they hope that pedestalize them but don't (dweebs) so once you got something go talk to her, hint in that direction to make her talk about it she'll soften and if she don't you just need to let go a "I feel truly sorry for you, I don't know who hurt you but this is taking the best of you..." kind of shit.
After that let her go cry in the girl's restroom and I can assure you she'll do it, thinking back on her life and why she's like that.

Tell them too much, they wouldn't understand; tell them what they know, they would yawn.
They have to move up by responding to challenges, not too easy not too hard, until they paused at what they always think is the end of the road for all time instead of a momentary break in an endless upward spiral
03-30-2017 04:03 PM
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orythedog Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Just hit it. You've fucked worse. A little alcohol and a good shag should do the trick. If inmates in prison can turn guards, you can make this woman your bitch. Just a thought...

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03-30-2017 04:17 PM
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scrambled Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
More seriously, read books on psychopaths in the work place, there are a few good ones, start with "Snakes in Suits".

Short story: They are immature so like a child with a gun (adult powers), they have to be distracted and then snatch the gun away. Like Perseus killing Medusa with a mirror, instead of a frontal attack.

There are psychopaths everywhere in the modern West because of feminism putting women in charge, lack of accountability due to so many people moving to different cities and not having a reputation to be kept in line.

As always, and as roosh wrote about, it's always the ugly ones who cause trouble. Never saw a 8, 9, or 10 act like that. Always the fatitude. White knights seem to look the unattractive part too.

One extra example of indirect defense: if the narcissist starts going into their shame/blame mode while reaction to some overblown problem (ie 'trippin', they are always being offended and being offensive over life), try to talk in the terms of only them, cause they only care about themselves. "Why is the project late again?" Answer, "You said you wanted it like this ...." Or something else that protects or inflates her false self esteem
(This post was last modified: 03-30-2017 08:06 PM by scrambled.)
03-30-2017 07:42 PM
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mhnd Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Female manager making my life a living hell. Advice needed!
Don't let her get in your head.

The best way to handle a female boss... You need to fuck her or at least make her moist. I don't care how fat she is. Summon all of your mental strength and do it for your job security.

Flirt with her. Let eye contact linger a second or two too long. Make her think it's in her head. At a HH get some 1 on 1 time and ask her for "career advice." Make a move, if she turns it down act like you got caught up in the moment. If she doesn't leave immediately, try again. When you give her the D make her tell you that you're the boss among any other depraved shit you can think of. Record it. You win.
(This post was last modified: 03-30-2017 08:37 PM by mhnd.)
03-30-2017 07:54 PM
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