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How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
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Geomann180 Offline
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Post: #1
Brick How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
Met a cute country gal in the 'sprawling metropolis' that is the town off base about three weeks ago and things had been going good until last weekend when she went ghost on me on Saturday, despite having sounded normal on the phone the night prior, having made plans to see me the next day.

I hooked up with her twice. We had good chemistry. Got along well. Best part? She lived close by (I learned the hard way multiple times about long distance). Not the first the girl to ghost on me. Though I don't have an exact idea what did it, I'm pretty sure I unintentionally shot myself in the foot on this one. I know that further attempts to contact beyond the ones that confirmed she wasn't responding, rather than having technology issues are ineffective at best and counterproductive at worst. Still, despite my better judgement (which I've got from experience that I got from plenty of prior poor judgement) I find myself checking her Facebook and snapchat for signs of life.

This ain't my first rodeo. Not my first rejection. Far from it. But moments like this make me feel like I've forgotten almost everything I've learned.





So into the newbie forum my query goes.

How do you guys cope with rejection these days?

G
(This post was last modified: 04-26-2017 02:52 AM by Geomann180.)
04-26-2017 02:51 AM
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Eugenics Offline
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Post: #2
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
Game and fuck other girls. Works every time.

You already know this brohamilton. Mourne for a day or two to get your feelings in check but try not to wallow
04-26-2017 02:56 AM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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Post: #3
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
Stalking can be a very rewarding hobby.

But seriously, it pays to remember that life exists for these girls outside of your relationship with them. Her mum might have been hit by a car, or maybe she was hit by a car. I've flaked out of girls lives without an explanation over personal shit and probably left them wondering exactly the same thing. "What did I do? What did I fail to do?"

The reality is that I was just tied up with other more important shit at the time and I didn't feel like getting into the whole "it's not you, it's me" bit (since nobody ever believes it anyway).
04-26-2017 03:24 AM
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panknows24 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
i look at the other 99 problems in my life
04-26-2017 05:19 AM
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Jameson Ranger Offline
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RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
Two words: "New pussy."

I'm sure to offer a fair bit of redundancy here, but there is always something better. Women are often (not always) good at trading up. Do the same. Find something better. There is so much vagina in the world you can't get hung up on one. Yes you may have had the "unreal connection". But you CAN find a better one. Don't settle. Don't accept bullshit. Find what you want. With 7 billion plus people on this earth. It exists. Go get it.

TLDR Version: get over it... get some new vagina.
(This post was last modified: 04-26-2017 06:29 AM by Jameson Ranger.)
04-26-2017 06:28 AM
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Jason55 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
That sounds like a short fling so it should be somewhat easy to take what the others said and move on. Its the long relationships that lasted years that are so hard to deal with a break up. Your mind starts playing tricks on you replaying all the positive moments and ignoring the bad ones. And you question, are you doing the right thing?
Or in your case if its every short fling this is happening over and over where they ghost, its time to start looking at what maybe you are doing wrong.
04-26-2017 08:12 AM
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UlteriorMotive Offline
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Post: #7
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
When I receive an ego-blow from rejection or a break-up I like to do what I refer to as "shock therapy"

I'll take my car on a track and blast it to the point that I feel alive with my blood racing and heart pounding, or I'll take my bike down a huge hill and recreate the same effect.

Anything really that puts my body into a shocked state, after that I feel a lot clearer and the "dimness" I was feeling has subsided substantially.

I also read this post by Heartiste as many times as I need to until I feel back to ground level.

"III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore."

“It is far better for a man to go wrong in freedom than to go right in chains.” Thomas Henry Huxley

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04-26-2017 09:02 AM
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Post: #8
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
Many homies will easy pull out their alpha card and say "Duh, get new pussy OP" in a confident manner.

The thing is brahs, it's easy to say it when you're the one on the other side of the fence. Eventually we all end up on the side OP is on, I have, so be understanding of what OP is going through.

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(This post was last modified: 04-26-2017 11:00 AM by Cattle Rustler.)
04-26-2017 10:14 AM
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Post: #9
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
Rejection is easy, you move on quickly to another girl.

Break-ups are tougher, especially if you actually liked the gal. I have broken up with gals simply because I wasn't willing to go to the next step (marriage).

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04-26-2017 10:58 AM
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Post: #10
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
To me it is all about the perspective. How you approach life in general.

I have learned to have bird's eye view on life so to speak. No break up or rejection phases me at all. I feel temporary pain of course but that is a joke to be hohest. There are simply way more important things in life than attention of girls or half assed relationships.

Once I got my shit together and put myself on the right tracks all this game stuff and issues with women became easy and simple.
04-26-2017 11:02 AM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
A WEEK IN THAILAND
04-26-2017 06:23 PM
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Robert High Hawk Offline
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RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
I had a HARD break up in my younger days. I thought I was king of the world until this girl ghosted me in very hurtful and baffling manner.

It was a huge blow to my ego. I think at the end of the day the hurt that we feel relates to our ego, how much we think we deserve and are entitled too. Our hubris and pride doesn't let us see what is really there, only what we want to see. We attach emotions to outcomes that are in many cases unpredictable - especially in the early stages.

The worst part of my break up was that I was in a situation where I was alone, I had few friends to relate to discuss it except with occassional skype calls, and I had very few social events or social settings I could go to to get my mind off of it. There were also essentially NO women around where I was to just "bang and get over it".

I completely agree banging new girls is a great way to get over an ex, but this is sincerely not an option for many. In fact the true lack of options is what makes the breakup even harder.

In the end it may have been for the best that I had to get over it the hard way. I had to really dig deep, recover, and make due with what little I had. This leads me to my final point:

Break ups, in a sense, are good for you. It's an opportunity to learn and grow, to understand your past weaknesses and improve. At the very least it's an opportunity to develop your emotional resiliency. This cannot be overstated. Every time I break up with a girl, I end up getting with one that's even better than the last - sincerely. So in a sense, this is a good opportunity.
04-26-2017 07:15 PM
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General Stalin Offline
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RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
I don't let myself get attached enough to feel great loss if a girl leaves me.

When it comes to getting ghosted by a casual bang or a girl I've only met with once or twice - I simply don't care as I will have other girls I'm talking to/banging and surely don't let myself get bent up over a girl I barely know.

So it's a mixture of true abundance mentality and not allowing myself to get too emotionally invested.
04-26-2017 07:36 PM
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Geomann180 Offline
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RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
(04-26-2017 07:36 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  I don't let myself get attached enough to feel great loss if a girl leaves me.

When it comes to getting ghosted by a casual bang or a girl I've only met with once or twice - I simply don't care as I will have other girls I'm talking to/banging and surely don't let myself get bent up over a girl I barely know.

So it's a mixture of true abundance mentality and not allowing myself to get too emotionally invested.

Sadly, my area doesn't have a large amount of women in it. I've done what I can and have lined up Friday night and might have a girl from Missippi drive on down sometime next month, but there's not much else I can do here.

It's a small town that comes to mind when people say "The dirty South".

Ultimately, I'll live. I've been through worse.

I was just caught off guard with how I liked this girl this much this quickly.

C'est la vie.

G

Edit: I did learn a lesson or two from this - so it wasn't a waste of my time. One less mistake to make with the women who truly matter.
(This post was last modified: 04-26-2017 10:10 PM by Geomann180.)
04-26-2017 09:29 PM
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Wahawahwah Offline
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Post: #15
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
You're a vet, Geo, so obviously there's no need to give out the standard cookie cutter advice since you already know how to deal with it.

The pain of a breakup stays for a while, no matter how many break ups you've been through. Two factors that do amplify and lengthen this shit feeling are

a) Alternatives that may or may not be available to you in the immediate aftermath of the event. Maybe one is super low on the totem pole, or there's just not enough decent women around, or one is stuck in a military base, or works long hours etc. Whatever the reason, if there aren't many alternatives around, one tends to feel the pain and the need to go back ("seek closure") strongly.

b) Your approach/mindset to the whole thing.

Regardless, know that this very short term relationship is but a drop in the ocean of experiences you've had and more importantly,will have in the future. No need to beat yourself of your missteps, or be bitter about the whole thing (you're not right now, just stating it), or feel like you haven't progressed much on the game front. Even Jedi players make mistakes, and humbling events such as these are helpful in grounding one. Laugh it off, six months from now, you'll be on to someone newer and fresher. Perhaps drop her a restarter text a week or two from now, but don't expect much. If she comes back, cool. If not, eh.

Definitely do not stalk her on social media, it will only amplify her importance in your mind and increase your investment in her. Hard to walk away from sunk costs and a sure thing,especially when there's a drought around, but its part of life.

Personally, the pain of a break up never completely fades for me unless I find someone equally good, or when I'm completely engrossed and busting my nuts on some sort of work. You'll be completely fine in a while. Give it time, laugh it off, game as much as you can, and channel the motivation from the breakup to further yourself. Might I suggest a specific 30 day challenge?

Edit: As Lenny said above, it could be something completely unrelated to what you did. If she comes back, cool. Otherwise, eh.

(This post was last modified: 04-26-2017 09:56 PM by Wahawahwah.)
04-26-2017 09:51 PM
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jselysianeagle Offline
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RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
Rejection from a girl you're into always stings, there's really no other way around it.

And IMHO it sucks even more when she suddenly ghosts in the way that this chic did. It does seem quite odd - are you certain she's ok and something isn't goin on?

Anyway, try and get your mind off of it with hobbies and goals you enjoy working on. Sounds cliche but hey it's honest advice.

You'll pull through. You met this gal; so you'll meet another like or better than her.

Pussy ain't for pussies...
(This post was last modified: 04-26-2017 10:56 PM by jselysianeagle.)
04-26-2017 10:53 PM
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RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
(04-26-2017 02:51 AM)Geomann180 Wrote:  How do you guys cope with rejection these days?

G

I was actually thinking about this subject last night. The single best thing I have taken to heart after TRP is Abundance Mentality. It just helps me so much and gives me a true perspective on things. It's a cure-all for everything really.

Every once in awhile I'll go through my old text messages and see girls that I never contacted again for whatever reason and I also see messages where the girl never contacted me again. Usually the reasons are so insignificant that I don't remember the 'why'. I look at these girls names (some I remember, some I don't) and just kind of grin. I truly don't even give one flying fuck that I never talked to that girl again. I don't care. They were dropped (or I was, I suppose) and I moved on. There are also names that I see that I never even initiated contact with in the first place. Ha!

In my Blue Pill days, every rejection would bruise my ego. I would wonder what I did wrong, what did I say that was wrong. It would eat at me. Only now do I realize that was a complete waste of time and so, so unnecessary.

Abundance Mentality is the greatest weapon in our arsenal.

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04-27-2017 08:55 AM
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Post: #18
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
I've very little experience in this area, but have had other tribulations. I think the secret is to change your perceptions with reason and determination.

Ghosting, as you call it, is particularly annoying, because you have no idea why it happened. When something like this happens to me now, I block the person, as its just a way to sever it in my mind. To put it to bed. If they have so little respect for you as to just disappear or ignore your contact, you can't give up any more energy to them. In the case that they had some catastrophic circumstances (or at least claimed they did), they can make some effort to get through to you. Though really, I don't see why someone could not send a text in such circumstances. I've only been on one date. They disappeared for about three weeks and then sent me a message saying something bad had happened and they didn't have internet.

The way I've pushed through in other areas of my life is shifting my perceptions. Do you want to be the guy who spends 2-7 hours a week hunched over your laptop dribbling pathetic loads over some girls you'll never seen. Or do you want to use that time to do thing that will make you better like make money, get fit or meet women. Likewise, do you want to waste 40 hours of your life wondering about this girl? Or do you want to make yourself better? One way you make yourself better is getting back on your horse once you've been thrown off. As physical resistance builds muscle, mental resistance builds character.

In short crying over lost girls is for losers. Going out and finding another is for winners.

The way I would look at rejection is as another challenge. Do you want to be an adventurous man rolling with the punches or a pot belly masturbator playing games in the dark at 4AM? I also think you need to look at rejection as a positive thing, as an adventure. No girl is going to put "Rejected Geomann180 on 27 Apr 2017" on their gravestone. They won't even remember it.

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04-27-2017 03:52 PM
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Geomann180 Offline
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RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
I really appreciate all the responses from everyone. It helps a bunch.

With all the support available, sometimes this place feels like a second home.

G
04-27-2017 05:34 PM
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RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
I broke up with my girlfriend two weeks ago, it was pretty much mutual because we just couldn't do the long distance thing anymore. It would take someone more "special" for that to work out. But it still left me heartbroken at first.
5 days after the break up I had a deadline at work that I struggled to finish because literally all I could think about was her and what I could have done better in the relationship etc. When things have ended with other women I've dated (for whatever reason) I've been pretty much over it by just a day or two, but it took longer this time, it was painful and different.

My ex is a great woman, with a really sweet personality. But this last weekend I got on two Tinder dates (and could have been on more if I had time) and even though I didn't end up banging these girls and that these girls weren't near as good as my ex overall, it was sort of refreshing to meet them anyway.
I think it was because I could appreciate some aspects of them where they were above my ex; both girls had bigger tits, better bodies, liked to work out (while my girlfriend was just talk) and they weren't obsessed with social media.

Now the painful feelings I had are pretty much gone and I can look at the relationship and my ex in a more logical manner.
It took me two weeks but now I'm ready to move on and I only got great memories and lessons learnt that will help my future sex life and a possible long term relationship with a woman.
(This post was last modified: 11-06-2017 06:32 AM by Michele.)
11-06-2017 06:30 AM
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Post: #21
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
I think the testosterone approach can help.
Doing whatever it is that makes you feel like a man : lawn mowing, weights, tackle football, watching sports, hanging out with other guys, messing with engines, , all the stuff that having an LTR can squeeze out of our lives.
Also rock music, guy films, action movies etc. get that shot of maleness back into you.
If it was a genuine rejection then it won't cure all the feelings but it will help during the interim.
I had a big gf issue once but that weekend I was playing rugby, getting battered and swallowing mud and I thought to myself suddenly "who gives a shit about That right now?"
I think a lot of our fighting instincts get switched off by heartbreak situations but that's when we need them most..

Also think about the last two girls you got cut up over before and ask yourself if they were as great or as important as you thought they were then.
(This post was last modified: 11-06-2017 09:29 AM by Bienvenuto.)
11-06-2017 09:26 AM
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Post: #22
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
Don't discount the possibility of this (and other situations like this) being a punishment/shit test of sorts.

My girl did a bit of a mini-ghost on me a couple of weeks ago (a few months into our relationship) which had me devastated and thinking the worst. I sent her a text a couple of days later, just something casual. She responded quickly to that text and others that I sent, however I did notice if was more of a friendly tone rather than that of a lover.

In those couple of days of silence, all I could think about was her and the many scenarios that were playing in my mind about what she could possibly be thinking for her to stop contacting me.

I even had this whole soppy wall of text written that I was close to sending, but glad I didn't, because then it would have truly been the end.

I figured that she was just pissed off with me about something, but her personality, or her just being a woman prevented her from telling me straight - silence being her weapon of choice, and an oh so effective choice it is.

By the end of the week, everything was back to normal and she was worshipping my cock again.

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(This post was last modified: 11-06-2017 10:00 AM by Windom Earle.)
11-06-2017 09:53 AM
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Post: #23
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
Bang her friends.

This was easier than I thought it would be.
11-06-2017 01:19 PM
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eradicator Offline
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Post: #24
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
Honestly, I go to whole foods and start day gaming them.

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11-06-2017 01:41 PM
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Post: #25
RE: How Do You Guys Cope With Rejection/Break Up?
It's usually the cases where you are actually well matched, have chemistry, and would make a great couple that it happens. What I think happens, at least in my own experiences, is that you recognise the potential you have together and start to buy in too quickly, she feels the change, and your behaviour becomes unattractive to her. It's cruel as fuck that life works this way because it hurts, but ultimately she's doing you a favour because getting her would probably be bad for your growth as a man. Usually these ones can't be pulled back, but sometimes when you get back centred and into real abundance it can be done, as long as you don't get carried away again when she starts showing interest.
11-06-2017 02:47 PM
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