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I have no friends in my everyday life
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ATW in 80 Days Offline
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Post: #176
RE: I have no friends in my everyday life
I have grown apart from the majority of the friends that I made while going to grade school and college. I still have a handful that I see semi-regularly. I've changed a lot over the past few years, and now these last five or so friends are no longer a great fit with me. However, they are not bad people or negative influences on my life. They can just be a bit naive and closed minded. I'm in my mid 20's for context.

I've resisted the idea of cutting these friends out of my life. Recently, I realized the reason. When these relationships formed, we were in school and were not focused on making money. We saw getting girls as an individual pursuit.

So we didn't focus on making friends that could help us make money, get girls, or provide value in some other way. We just enjoyed each others' company. That lack of transactional thinking allowed our friendships to have a certain purity to them.

I have met a lot of new people since I graduated from college (especially since I started traveling). Some of them I would primarily call friends and some I see more as business contacts - or providing value in some other specific way. Most are in the middle of the spectrum. The line is constantly blurred.

Embarking on a journey of self improvement to maximize my success in business and with girls has been a great decision for me. A large part of it has been surrounding myself with people that are a positive influence on these pursuits. And I enjoy spending time with many of the new people in my life, even the ones that lean more toward the business contact side of the spectrum.

But I don't want to throw away these friendships from my formative years. Even if we only meet six times a year, it means a lot to maintain a few connections like that - connections that I may never be able to fully duplicate.
(This post was last modified: 02-05-2019 05:26 AM by ATW in 80 Days.)
02-05-2019 05:24 AM
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sterlingarcher Offline
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Post: #177
RE: I have no friends in my everyday life
(01-13-2018 02:18 PM)Teep Wrote:  
(01-13-2018 01:22 PM)3extra Wrote:  Gary Vaynerchuk produces videos called "A Day in the Life of Gary Vaynerchuk" and uploads them onto the internet.

Christ. It really must be lonely "at the top".

(((Gary Vee))) likes to meme a lot about hard work. The fact is he inherited a very successful wine business from his family. His accomplishments are suspect imo.

Is that true? His story is he inherited a struggling liqour store and TURNED it into a successful wine business.
03-19-2019 06:17 AM
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Atomic Offline
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Post: #178
RE: I have no friends in my everyday life
Ah this thread again.

I posted back on Feb 1. Its been 6 weeks. Man things have gotten so much better.

Ive got three regular chicks in the rotation. With two morr that are second stringers and I can put them into the game if a regular is busy. One of then is a petite 18yo spinner that calls me daddy and is practically my sex slave.

I dropped a toxic chick and the fallout cause a bit of damage to my social circle, but im still expanding it.

Now people are actively inviting me out or hanging out at my apartment. Its actually kind of annoying at times because its taking up a lot of time I want to dedicate to business, but I see it as a healthy time sink.

Got a buddy in Medellin that wants me to come down and visit for a couplr weeks.

Man what a change in lifestyle in six weeks. You can do it, you just gotta put in the effort and get outside your comfort zone.

Never cross streams.
03-19-2019 07:24 AM
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MrLemon Offline
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Post: #179
RE: I have no friends in my everyday life
I made an effort to build up a lot of solid redpill male friends in my 30s, even after having kids, but many of them have died. Many disappeared when I got sick (which of course means, they were never friends to start with). Shit.

Truthfully I'd rather spend time with my kids right now. We've built our family on the concept of multi-generations. That's the reality anyway. The old days when kids could split at 18 and "make their own way" is gone. Most kids are living with their folks well past college...no choice in the matter. I'd rather spend time playing with grandkids.

I have 2 very old guy friends, from childhood, who are almost like brothers actually. We already have made plans to be old dudes drinking whisky and smoking cigars on camping trips.

And, I could easily live alone in the forest in a cabin and never see anybody. Do chainsaw carvings or pan gold.
03-21-2019 12:54 PM
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Mig Picante Online
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Post: #180
RE: I have no friends in my everyday life
Came here to vent. I have been messaging people that I regard as friends to organise footy tipping leagues, try to keep in touch, ask them to come out to a bar for a drink, catch up for a coffee, join me a sporting match, have a short conversation via text.

Some people don't even reply? Others just say thanks but they're busy, but keep me in mind and ask again in future (haha what?).

I have been pouring out energy to keep in touch and maintain friendships but it doesn't seem to be getting returned?
I don't want to live like this! So what's the solution?

I work around 55-60 hours a week and have each weekend off. I try to spend it with people but most weekends I sepnd on my own.
I'm sending out messages on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday trying to reach out and set things up for the weekend but get knocked back and end up having not much on or staying in?
03-28-2019 07:31 AM
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Eddie Winslow Offline
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Post: #181
RE: I have no friends in my everyday life
(03-28-2019 07:31 AM)Mig Picante Wrote:  Came here to vent. I have been messaging people that I regard as friends to organise footy tipping leagues, try to keep in touch, ask them to come out to a bar for a drink, catch up for a coffee, join me a sporting match, have a short conversation via text.

Some people don't even reply? Others just say thanks but they're busy, but keep me in mind and ask again in future (haha what?).

I have been pouring out energy to keep in touch and maintain friendships but it doesn't seem to be getting returned?
I don't want to live like this! So what's the solution?

I work around 55-60 hours a week and have each weekend off. I try to spend it with people but most weekends I sepnd on my own.
I'm sending out messages on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday trying to reach out and set things up for the weekend but get knocked back and end up having not much on or staying in?

If you regard them as friends you should be comfortable giving them a 60 second phone call to say hi and ask for a commitment. It shows genuine intent on your part. Texting/emailing is a horrible, soulless form of communication, and when someone doesn't respond, you never really know why. People can honestly forget to respond, or they may just be taking the extremely passive route of saying "no thanks."

If they never return your calls, they aren't really your friends.
03-28-2019 07:46 AM
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Mig Picante Online
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Post: #182
RE: I have no friends in my everyday life
Good perspective that’s a reasonable strategy, thanks!
I’ll call up a couple this weekend. Seems like a good litmus test.
03-28-2019 08:49 AM
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Eddie Winslow Offline
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Post: #183
RE: I have no friends in my everyday life
I think there is a lot of value in sending direct, individualized communication to people you'd like to connect with on a personal level, regardless of whether you have met them before.

If you look at the Meetups forum, half the threads are a graveyard of failed,lazy, last-minute plans that look like this:

"I'll be in ____ between ____ and _____, let me know if you want to meet up."

I admit I've been guilty of this many times myself. It should be pretty obvious why this approach sucks ass.

1. Who the fuck are you? Why would even the most curious and least busy members of the forum feel compelled to invest any time "meeting up?" What do you bring to the table?

2. Do you have any plans for what you actually want to do? Why do you want to do them?

3. You waited until 48 hours (or often less) before posting your meetup, which makes you seem non-committal and lazy. Why are you waiting for someone else to contact you and then iron out all the details of the meet?

Even if you managed to succeed in meeting up with new people, there is a high-probability they are low-value and or flaky. Instead, a much better strategy is to hand pick the people you want to meet.

If you are visiting a new city or even looking to connect with other people in your own area, do some research of people you'd like to meet. Hit them with a PM.

-Explain about how you found out about them and why you'd like to meet them.
-Share a little bit about yourself (age? basic hobbies? etc.).
-Offer a specific date and time

I've used this (and people have used it on me) on RVF, reddit, and in real life. I respond 95%+ of the time, unless the person PMing is trying to sell me something or is incredibly lazy:

No-name, 2-post, no profile, random RVF dude:

"yo i'm in manhattan for three days let me know if your down to daygame this weekend."

Hell no I'm not.

But if this person took 2 minutes to add a little more detail, I'd certainly respond, and would try to provide recommendations on achieving his meetup goals if I was not able or interested in meeting up myself.

I think the strategies in this article are great for deepening connections you make with people you meet in real life. Even if you are boring as fuck and bring little social value to the table, most men one would perceive as worth knowing are good souls and would look to help a brother out.

It's tough out there, but it is important to be proactive and be willing to get rejected.
04-09-2019 12:50 PM
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Robert High Hawk Offline
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Post: #184
RE: I have no friends in my everyday life
(04-09-2019 12:50 PM)Eddie Winslow Wrote:  I think there is a lot of value in sending direct, individualized communication to people you'd like to connect with on a personal level, regardless of whether you have met them before.

If you look at the Meetups forum, half the threads are a graveyard of failed,lazy, last-minute plans that look like this:

"I'll be in ____ between ____ and _____, let me know if you want to meet up."

I admit I've been guilty of this many times myself. It should be pretty obvious why this approach sucks ass.

1. Who the fuck are you? Why would even the most curious and least busy members of the forum feel compelled to invest any time "meeting up?" What do you bring to the table?

2. Do you have any plans for what you actually want to do? Why do you want to do them?

3. You waited until 48 hours (or often less) before posting your meetup, which makes you seem non-committal and lazy. Why are you waiting for someone else to contact you and then iron out all the details of the meet?

Even if you managed to succeed in meeting up with new people, there is a high-probability they are low-value and or flaky. Instead, a much better strategy is to hand pick the people you want to meet.

If you are visiting a new city or even looking to connect with other people in your own area, do some research of people you'd like to meet. Hit them with a PM.

-Explain about how you found out about them and why you'd like to meet them.
-Share a little bit about yourself (age? basic hobbies? etc.).
-Offer a specific date and time

I've used this (and people have used it on me) on RVF, reddit, and in real life. I respond 95%+ of the time, unless the person PMing is trying to sell me something or is incredibly lazy:

No-name, 2-post, no profile, random RVF dude:

"yo i'm in manhattan for three days let me know if your down to daygame this weekend."

Hell no I'm not.

But if this person took 2 minutes to add a little more detail, I'd certainly respond, and would try to provide recommendations on achieving his meetup goals if I was not able or interested in meeting up myself.

I think the strategies in this article are great for deepening connections you make with people you meet in real life. Even if you are boring as fuck and bring little social value to the table, most men one would perceive as worth knowing are good souls and would look to help a brother out.

It's tough out there, but it is important to be proactive and be willing to get rejected.

Good points in there, but also keep in mind many posters try to keep their location rather anonymous. I've managed to link up with other meetups and also arrange one or two myself, but recently when I was in a major American city (NOLA), I thought I gave a very solid open invitation, low key, stress free invite to chill get a beer coffee etc... and followed it up again a month or two later, with no avail. That said, it's entirely possible no one was around in NOLA. Or maybe I smell funny and word has gotten around RVF.
04-17-2019 03:23 PM
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