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Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
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Iso Offline
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Post: #1
Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
Lets say you met a girl at a bar or from Tinder. You text to set up in a date in 3 days. Do you text any time in between those 3 dates? do you send any confirmation texts to make sure she doesn't think the date is cancelled?
07-17-2017 07:53 PM
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Lermontov Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
Once the exact location and the time are set and that I received a confirmation agreeing with that, I don't text anymore.
07-17-2017 09:05 PM
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kinjutsu Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
It depends on the text/phone exchange ive been having with the girl.

If she's super talkative and replies quickly then i keep the good vibe going. She will feel weird if you basically ghost her after setting up the details, which I've noticed increases the chances of her flaking out.

If you've been mainly talking on the phone then it might be best if you didn't text her random stuff.

Confirm the day off about 4hrs before and hope for the best.

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07-17-2017 09:12 PM
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Synezthetic Offline
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RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
(07-17-2017 09:12 PM)kinjutsu Wrote:  She will feel weird if you basically ghost her after setting up the details, which I've noticed increases the chances of her flaking out.

Agree 100%.

Unless the date is just a few hours away (it's usually a few days away) it's important to keep her engaged and build that subconscious obligation/want for her to come along. Ghosting her will likely lead to flaking, especially if she's equal or higher value. Flaking is already an issue just because of the world we live in - ghosting her just hands her the rationale/excuse to do so, on a silver platter.
07-17-2017 09:48 PM
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Giovonny Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
Yes.

They are nervous on the day of the date.

The date starts when both of you wake up on that day. Pre-date texting can be crucial. The date can actually be won or lost before it even starts.

I send a "Comfort enhancer" and/or a "Momentum builder" text 4 hours before date.

It's nice to carry a conversation and carry some momentum INTO the date.
(This post was last modified: 07-17-2017 10:02 PM by Giovonny.)
07-17-2017 10:01 PM
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CleanSlate Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
Yes I text in between, or even better, I send them pictures of what I'm doing or what I'm eating -- especially if it's out of the ordinary. Gets them talking, and more importantly, gives them a preview of what's to come when they're around me.
07-17-2017 10:08 PM
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JayD Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
Text a teaser or what's to come or have a general text "I'm running a bit late about 10 minutes" to see if she responds.
07-18-2017 01:09 AM
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travolta Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
Definitely. I've found that when I don't text in between setting up and the date then she's more likely to flake. Texting in between seems to build more comfort. It also gives us more to talk about on the date. Always text in between setting up the date and the actual date, if possible.
07-18-2017 07:30 AM
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heavy Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
Yeah I agree with most here...this aint 2004 anymore. Back in my day we'd plan a few days ahead without a *phone call* between. Nowadays, it's worth throwing out text(s) between.

What Synezthetic said. People in general, and yes even most girls, don't really want to totally screw over someone and flake on you. If you keep a line of communication open, she's less likely to surprise flake.

If she does come up with other plans, you can still count it as a flake and that she doesn't want to see you as much as you want to see her. But at least with a lil text communication, you won't be surprised.

I will say many times I make backup plans, so if she does flake last minute I'm not standing there with my dick in my hand. What sucks is, women are increasingly playing this same game. That's fine, but it's not conducive to two people dating, marrying, and having kids. At least one of you has to have a need for the relationship. Yes, what I mean is, at least one of you has to end up standing there with dick in hand at least sometimes.

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(This post was last modified: 07-18-2017 08:13 AM by heavy.)
07-18-2017 08:06 AM
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chitown72 Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
(07-17-2017 09:12 PM)kinjutsu Wrote:  It depends on the text/phone exchange ive been having with the girl.

If she's super talkative and replies quickly then i keep the good vibe going. She will feel weird if you basically ghost her after setting up the details, which I've noticed increases the chances of her flaking out.

If you've been mainly talking on the phone then it might be best if you didn't text her random stuff.

Confirm the day off about 4hrs before and hope for the best.

x2

HOWEVER, you need to be careful on what you text to make sure you don't kill any vibes. This has bitten me in the past where the more I text before a date, the more I might say something that either offends or puts off the girl in a certain way.

Therefore, I generally keep it light and don't engage in any deep conversation and try to keep it short and less frequent.

I've been able to get a girl to hang around up to 1.5 months by texting if our schedules don't align or we are traveling/going on vacations and such before the date happens and still get the date/bang later on.
(This post was last modified: 07-18-2017 10:19 AM by chitown72.)
07-18-2017 10:18 AM
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astro Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
This thread highlights some of the black and white thinking that some guys have, especially when following advice of others saying to limit comms to a girl.

If you're actually boring, then maybe limiting comms is a better path to getting laid.

I say fuck that! If I can't get a girl engaged in a decent conversation over text, how would that translate to an actual in person meeting? I use this to filter girls out who I am not going to flow with.

The real problem here is that the volume of dialogue with MANY women is lacking, so when a dialogue does happen it is fraught with overthinking, insecurity, and desperation. Women have a sixth sense for this and also why they test. I would spend less time on honing your "text game" and more time on your initial interaction. The more matches, the more numbers, the more success on the initial approach will naturally give you the right mindset: you're the chooser, not them. It will just flow out of you and girls will want to interact with you. That's when you know how to strategically use silence to your advantage based on specific situations and scenarios, not as an overall rule.
07-18-2017 11:12 AM
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Sumanguru Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
I send a confirmation email either the day or, or the day before, the date. Otherwise, no. And that's in large part because my texting game is my weakest aspect, I do much better in person. Therefore I use texting only as a tool to get them in person.
07-18-2017 11:40 AM
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JayD Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
(07-18-2017 11:40 AM)Sumanguru Wrote:  I send a confirmation email either the day or, or the day before, the date. Otherwise, no. And that's in large part because my texting game is my weakest aspect, I do much better in person. Therefore I use texting only as a tool to get them in person.

Email? You in 2003 bruh?
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07-19-2017 03:38 AM
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kirdiesel Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
After setting up the date I stay in contact but limit the amount of conversation in order to leave topics on the table and give us something on the dates to talk about.

I find overtexting girls allows them to have to too much "data" on you and make a decision about you before the date even starts. The less they know about your views and opinions before the date the better

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07-19-2017 05:23 AM
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spaceman Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
(07-17-2017 10:08 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  Yes I text in between, or even better, I send them pictures of what I'm doing or what I'm eating -- especially if it's out of the ordinary. Gets them talking, and more importantly, gives them a preview of what's to come when they're around me.

this is what i have started doing.. ill even send memes or something depending on what the girls vibe is like.

It works well with younger chicks
02-17-2019 06:50 AM
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lunchmoney Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
I text maybe 1-2 messages a day, but then again I don't try to schedule dates more than 2 days out. For instance, I set a date up for today (Sunday) on Thursday night. I didn't text her Friday (didn't make time), but we exchanged a few messages back and forth Saturday evening, which I could tell instantly got her excited about the date again.
02-17-2019 06:54 AM
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Graft Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
You have to text her every day. I've changed my method from just texting for logistics to texting them with conversation every day, and they still complain that I don't text them enough. Understand that most guys text them close to nonstop, you have to at least be relevant to them on a daily basis. Much easier with instagram, seeing her face, responding to her stories, liking her photos.
02-20-2019 12:30 AM
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Post: #18
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
I see point in posts above.
I have always been "just set up the date a confirm it" texting style guy. I have good looks, so I don´t have to text game girls, but recent months, when I really put no struggle into online interaction, I see it´s maybe a problem. Especially at younger girls. There were few, who said it´s really weird I dont text them and it was game over. Also there were many, that could be possible notch, but I didn´t bother to text them.

I should change my approach. These girls are to spend the most of their time online and interacting online with them might be the way. Not textbomb them 24/7, but some intensive texting, followed be radio silence and then intenstive texting could actually be the way.

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02-20-2019 06:48 AM
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MikeS Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
I do. I like talkative girls and since I've usually already had a more or less lively chat over a day or a few before I set up the date, it would feel weird - to me and thus no doubt the girl as well - to just go silent until the date if it's several days away, which is very often the case at my location (unlike on some vacations I've been on where I could get a date or several from online on the same day).
Also online dating seems to get harder for every year for me - whether it's just the general evolution of the system and more people using it, increasing competition and female sense of entitlement, or me now being over 40 (and still refusing to lie about my age) I'm not sure, but as Graft said above, staying relevant seems increasingly important unless you have some tremendously strong traits going for you that the girls have noticed or been made aware of (eg. very good looks or lots of money).
02-20-2019 12:54 PM
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DonnyGately Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
(07-17-2017 07:53 PM)Iso Wrote:  Lets say you met a girl at a bar or from Tinder. You text to set up in a date in 3 days. Do you text any time in between those 3 dates? do you send any confirmation texts to make sure she doesn't think the date is cancelled?

Yes, a simple reminder text focused on where and when. If she doesn't reply she's not coming. I do it around lunchtime the day of an 8pm meet.
02-20-2019 03:47 PM
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WTTL Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
Assuming it hasn't been more than 1-3 days since the date was arranged, I will send a "See you at 8?" text around the afternoon of the date. Yes, it sounds a bit needy but it is concise, gives you confirmation and it surprisingly hasn't deterred any girls from coming out.
02-20-2019 06:33 PM
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GreenPill Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Do you text in between setting up date and the date?
I'm always scared it will signal her that I'm afraid she will flake so I don't
02-23-2019 12:37 PM
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