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The New Tomb Raider is Flat
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Alpharius Offline
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Post: #1
The New Tomb Raider is Flat
The new Tomb Raider is flat chested. First they fucked up the Ninja Turtles, now Tomb Raider doesn't have titties? Way to fuck up my adolescence, Hollywood.





She's a 34A. Which goes against every reason every guy every played Tomb Raider. Lara Croft was known for humongous knockers, wtf else was the point of the fucking game!?

How the fuck did we go from this?

[Image: tomb_raider_AOD_box.jpg]

And this?
[Image: Sin%2Bt%25C3%25ADtulo3.jpg]

To this?!
[Image: 424695483afc79cbf04909fc16b09d7f_fitted_740x700.jpg]

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09-20-2017 09:19 PM
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rapaz12 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
Dude, that last picture is pretty gross. I never really played the games when I was younger and I was only mildly intrigued by the movies with Angelina Jolie when I saw them. I'm not expecting much from this movie either.
09-20-2017 09:37 PM
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RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
Feminists gonna femininst? Who was in charge of casting? Hollywood is so out of original ideas. What do they do? Take a classic series, pick a female lead that has a smaller chest than your average Filipina girl and then cast her as the iconic Laura Croft? It will probably do okay at the box office due to "gurl power", just like those women that go out to see the God-awful J-Law films. Blech, I'll pass.

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09-20-2017 09:39 PM
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DarkTriad Offline
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Post: #4
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
(09-20-2017 09:39 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  Feminists gonna femininst? Who was in charge of casting?

Obviously someone that likes little boys.
09-20-2017 09:43 PM
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Post: #5
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
(09-20-2017 09:43 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  
(09-20-2017 09:39 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  Feminists gonna femininst? Who was in charge of casting?

Obviously someone that likes little boys.

No kidding. Modern-day Hollywerid is full of feminists, phags and Soy Bois. There are very few masculine men left in the industry.

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09-20-2017 09:45 PM
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Post: #6
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
(09-20-2017 09:39 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  Feminists gonna femininst? Who was in charge of casting? Hollywood is so out of original ideas. What do they do? Take a classic series, pick a female lead that has a smaller chest than your average Filipina girl and then cast her as the iconic Laura Croft? It will probably do okay at the box office due to "gurl power", just like those women that go out to see the God-awful J-Law films. Blech, I'll pass.

Getting a sex change and opting to deceive others through full-fledged transsexuality is so empowering.

Fake titties on the other hand are demeaning characteristics aimed at pleasing the patriarchy.

yb13
09-20-2017 09:46 PM
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infowarrior1 Offline
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Post: #7
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
Lara Craft without boobs?

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09-20-2017 09:51 PM
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CynicalContrarian Offline
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Post: #8
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
2017's The Mummy is a dud.
2017's King Arthur is a dud.
2017's Ghost In The Shell is a dud.
2017's Underworld is a dud.
2017's Wonder Woman is a dud.
2017's Alien (Covenant) is a dud.
2017's Transformers is a dud.

Etc. Etc.

With very limited exception (Logan). You're better off being of the opinion that every Hollywood film released these days will be a dud.
09-20-2017 09:53 PM
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Paracelsus Offline
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Post: #9
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
Hundreds of millions of dollars budget on a fucking video game movie and they couldn't spend $30 on a padded bra?

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(This post was last modified: 09-20-2017 10:07 PM by Paracelsus.)
09-20-2017 10:07 PM
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Gmac Offline
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Post: #10
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
Boobs were the point of Tomb Raider. Lame.

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09-20-2017 10:12 PM
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Post: #11
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
WAT
09-20-2017 10:22 PM
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Swooper Offline
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Post: #12
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
Actually this chick, Alicia Vikander, looks like a combination of Leighton Meester and Natalie Portman. She was dangerously attractive, seductive even, in the movie Ex Machina. It's a shame her body is so boyish.
09-20-2017 10:25 PM
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Captainstabbin Offline
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Post: #13
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
(09-20-2017 10:07 PM)Paracelsus Wrote:  Hundreds of millions of dollars budget on a fucking video game movie and they couldn't spend $30 on a padded bra?

Sadly, that IS a padded bra.
09-20-2017 10:26 PM
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Paracelsus Offline
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RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
(09-20-2017 10:26 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(09-20-2017 10:07 PM)Paracelsus Wrote:  Hundreds of millions of dollars budget on a fucking video game movie and they couldn't spend $30 on a padded bra?

Sadly, that IS a padded bra.

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09-20-2017 10:42 PM
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redbeard Offline
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Post: #15
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
(09-20-2017 09:19 PM)Alpharius Wrote:  To this?!
[Image: 424695483afc79cbf04909fc16b09d7f_fitted_740x700.jpg]

[Image: 31945.png]

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09-20-2017 10:48 PM
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Rush87 Offline
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RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
(09-20-2017 09:43 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  
(09-20-2017 09:39 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  Feminists gonna femininst? Who was in charge of casting?

Obviously someone that likes little boys.

AKA 90% of Hollywood.
09-20-2017 10:49 PM
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IvanDrago Offline
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Post: #17
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
She's nothing a few cheeseburgers can't fix. At least we didn't get Fridge Raider.

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(This post was last modified: 09-20-2017 11:34 PM by IvanDrago.)
09-20-2017 11:32 PM
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Long Haired Samson Offline
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Post: #18
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
I was never an Angelina Jolie fan but at least she looked the part of Lara Croft.

   

   

   
(This post was last modified: 09-20-2017 11:34 PM by Long Haired Samson.)
09-20-2017 11:33 PM
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RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
She has a good face and a schnoz that looks good on her but in that picture she looks like a 12 year old boy.

Looked hot in Man from U.N.C.L.E though, good makeup and clothes.

I'm surprised Gal Gadot didn't get this gig.
(This post was last modified: 09-20-2017 11:35 PM by Sidney Crosby.)
09-20-2017 11:35 PM
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RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
Dud casting aside, I fail to see how this movie isn't anything other than a hyperactive CGI fest of no value.

Perhaps they're banking on the Chinese market?
09-20-2017 11:44 PM
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sterling_archer Offline
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RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
From the trailer it appears to be some mix of 2013 game with its sequel. Notice that Trinity is mentioned and we have some cultists but they don't worship Himiko.
09-21-2017 12:29 AM
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captain_shane Offline
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RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
(09-20-2017 10:25 PM)Swooper Wrote:  Actually this chick, Alicia Vikander, looks like a combination of Leighton Meester and Natalie Portman. She was dangerously attractive, seductive even, in the movie Ex Machina. It's a shame her body is so boyish.

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09-21-2017 12:39 AM
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Handsome Creepy Eel Offline
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Post: #23
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
Wow, I prefer smaller tits, but this is too much even for me Sad

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09-21-2017 01:56 AM
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Suits Offline
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Post: #24
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
Stop it, you assholes. Man up and a grow big enough balls to appreciate that beauty comes in all sizes.

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09-21-2017 02:24 AM
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questor70 Offline
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Post: #25
RE: The New Tomb Raider is Flat
(09-20-2017 11:33 PM)Long Haired Samson Wrote:  I was never an Angelina Jolie fan but at least she looked the part of Lara Croft.

Alas, no longer.

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09-21-2017 03:27 AM
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