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Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
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Tytalus Offline
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Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
So I've gone on a long RP journey since 2013. My daily life and marriage have improved despite some bumps.

One thing I'm coming to terms with, is despite improving myself immensely, my wife drags behind quite deeply. After reading Sex God Method, our sex life improved a lot, until it stopped.

When I go full bore on our sex life, things get better until I'm so frustrated that I pull back. What I have identified is that my wife does not try to seduce or enchant me.

She's great about other things, cooking, cleaning, kids, being pleasant etc... But I was telling my (gay) brother over the phone the other day about how women in other cultures believe they have strong power to enchant and control men with their beauty. (Duh right?)

So afterwards my wife strolls up to me and says this:

"You don't actually believe that do you? That women can really enchant and bespell men with their femininity?"

My jaw was on the floor guys. I mean WTF... I can joke with a female coworker and get a bigger dose of female energy from that one encounter than I do when I come home from my wife.

I learn RP stuff for 4 years, learn how to do alpha cave man sex so that she can cum a dozen times during sex... I know how powerful my own sexuality is to increase her desire and pleasure.

Why am I writing this? I'm in an unfortunately a financial/family position that doesn't let me divorce my 270 lb wife. She has great tits and ok face and that's about it. This means my attraction to her is SO LOW that how she acts towards me day to day genuinely affects the quality of my orgasm. Like, if she hasn't cleaned the house, or she's a bitch, my ability to cum goes down. It's that bad.

Like I want, and do have sex almost every day. (I do get sex on demand.) But, it takes me forever to cum because I'm just bored I guess. She'll have a great time because I know what to do, but she doesn't. It's exceedingly frustrating.

Clearly I can't teach her this shit myself because duh, that would defeat the purpose. We talked about it today and she said that many women have their mom, aunt, or a helpful grandmother teach them certain tricks about how to really get men going. In her case, she got nothin'.

I'm at the point where I might send her to a (female) sex therapist or something to get over whatever the hell her hangups are. Which, I do know there are some issues:
(1) Terrible self esteem (Why else be 270lbs?)
(2) Sexual abuse (by a neighbor) at age 5, which she has never properly dealt with
(3) A mildly prudish upbringing (thinks learning how to be better at sex is immoral, though we're working on this.)

I'm at a point where I think few men are at, and I dunno, don't feel like blowing money on worthless books on amazon if someone here has a good resource to share.

Any ideas, commiserations or plans on how to make a western income in Central/South America would be great. Smile
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2017 04:28 AM by Tytalus.)
12-07-2017 04:26 AM
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Monxp Offline
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
270lbs wife? Are you serious? You should start controlling her life or at least take her to gym (or just a walk) with you. At my worst, I used to weight about that, and boy, did I feel shitty and antisocial. The number one thing you can do to improve your relationship is to make her lose weight. Once you get that going, other things should fall into place or at least get better.

Mind you, it will take a long time since she's weighting over double the healthy weight, but once she starts to enjoy doing exercise with or without you, it will get bit easier. Guide her to the world of fitness and she will follow. Routine is important, so make it a routine for you to go to gym/walk/swimming/other exercise.

Try to get into her emotions to make her realize how important losing weight is, how she's never gonna see her grandchildren or is gonna be a huge burden for the family later. Women work by emotions, once you hack her mind, you have won half of the battle.

...or just sign her to The Biggest Loser competition, that way she has to start losing weight because of the social pressure and at best maybe even win you guys some money. No pain, no gain, and good luck with improving the situation.
12-07-2017 07:27 AM
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Off The Reservation Offline
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
Answers from 4 years ago....

"You are very resistant to this..."
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2017 08:54 AM by Off The Reservation.)
12-07-2017 08:37 AM
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Laner Offline
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
This is why men have mistresses.
12-07-2017 09:44 AM
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wi30 Offline
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
How much do you weigh? I'm sure she didn't get that fat by herself.
12-07-2017 10:12 AM
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polar Offline
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
Look at David Deida's books, Way of the Superior Man is for...men, and he has a few books aimed at women written with a similar goal in mind. I have not read his other books, but think they might be what you're looking for.

Give them a skim and see if that is up your alley.

Ultimately though, you need to take action to improve your life - with or without her - and pull her along, if she's willing.

I'd be interested in hearing what progress you have made, per the link to 3 years ago, as well as other threads you have started.

Keep your head up.

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12-07-2017 10:16 AM
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
Thanks for the responses guys. I have moved on to another job in my city that is... ok, but not great. It was the only other employer with a short commute.

My wife has joined a specailized gym for people with disabilities and health problems. In her case the diabetes is a HUGE hurdle to cross as if her sugars go low (which they do) she has to eat extra food. She has visibly lost inches, but gained weight in muscle. That said, I'm still fairly horrified that her workouts are making her gain weight, 270 is just too fucking heavy. The elephant in the room is that she has to stop overeating at meals. She thinks she is doing better but isn't.

As for me, I'm ~160 and in shape.

Anyways, the weight is not an issue solveable by this forum. She does know it's a serious issue, I have told her repeatedly it is one. What I'm really trying to deal with is her mental attitude. To update, she's dropped using the pill which completely restored her sex drive. The more I think about it, the more I think she needs to go (1) to a therapist to deal with her sexual abuse and (2) absolutely terrible self esteem. I don't think anything will really get better until she faces those things.

I did look at David Deida, but his books for women didn't look that great. Any other suggestions of "game" books for women on acting seductively would be great.
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2017 12:29 PM by Tytalus.)
12-07-2017 12:27 PM
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Post: #8
RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
Encouraging others to lose weight is incredibly difficult. Most people double down. For example, most of my family is fat. I tried everything and they mostly resented me for it. My brother recently lost 70 lbs and looks great now. I tried helping him for years. He had an on/off girlfriend forever and once that finally ended he got his shit together. You can't make people change, you can only try to influence them in the right direction.

I'm the heaviest I've ever been (190ish, abs show around 160) and my parents visited recently and tried to justify it when I told them I'm fat and need to cut weight. I'm riding it out through the holidays and cutting in January. Most people have ever made big changes in their life and live life by inertia.

You're in a tough spot. All you can do is encourage her and cook healthy food. Or maybe try a fad diet if she's into it. I tested the potato diet out 2 weeks ago and lost 8 lbs.
12-07-2017 12:42 PM
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
Polar suggests a look-deeper-book but OP you reply no thanks - only want a "game" book so the wife (who obviously is berated about her health) can "seduce" you better. You know dude, a lot of women would look at a guy who thinks this way and think he is a "woman" for placing the responsibility on her.

GAME isn't she she she she she blaming.

RED PILL isn't excuses for self or others.

RVF isn't a cable tv channel for passive sensationalism over how shitty someones wife is years on end.

WORK ON yourself and she will follow.

"You are very resistant to this..."
12-07-2017 01:35 PM
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
If you used to go to Athol Kay's website, then you know the next step is to get your finances in order so you can dump her, and make it a realistic threat. Also, explain to her that you expect that each partner in a marriage has an obligation to remain attractive for each other, and to have a basic level of skill in seductive behavior. Point out that you're doing your part, and that other women are certainly willing to do this for you if she won't.

It's time to call a spade a spade in describing her behavior, and raise the realistic prospect of leaving. OTR above says that if you lead, she will follow. This is not always true, and even when it is, you sometimes have to move out and start banging other women before she realizes she wants you. You have to show her that you won't put up with her lazy disrespect of you as her husband, and show that it's not a bluff, it's a fact.

If you take this attitude, then soon, one way or the other, you will have a girl acting sweet, girly, and seductive, wanting to do dirty things with you. Don't settle for less.

I'm the tower of power, too sweet to be sour. I'm funky like a monkey. Sky's the limit and space is the place!
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12-07-2017 02:37 PM
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Off The Reservation Offline
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
^
Would this be true for

a man who engages a woman but learns her tenancies and cuts it off

a man who marries a woman who gets fat but doesn't have kids w her

a man who marries a fat woman and rewards her with 3 kids then takes issue with the weight later?

one who has a second and third kid after she is fat??

one who had only the third kid after she was fat??

Just askin.

"You are very resistant to this..."
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2017 03:11 PM by Off The Reservation.)
12-07-2017 03:09 PM
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
Monxp Wrote:Mind you, it will take a long time since she's weighting over double the healthy weight, but once she starts to enjoy doing exercise with or without you, it will get bit easier. Guide her to the world of fitness and she will follow. Routine is important, so make it a routine for you to go to gym/walk/swimming/other exercise.

Try to get into her emotions to make her realize how important losing weight is, how she's never gonna see her grandchildren or is gonna be a huge burden for the family later. Women work by emotions, once you hack her mind, you have won half of the battle.

I'll work on the emotional angle. The problem is she is Diabetic, and that makes exercising very difficult. "Going for a walk" has resulted blood sugars so low her feet have gone numb. She has very variable blood sugars and has spent a long time researching how to control them, and thankfully is better about it. We finally had the lightbulb moment and she's starting to research how diabetic athletes train. (Mostly they do it by being single and no kids, so they can spend inordinate amounts of time obsessed with their blood sugars.)

(12-07-2017 01:35 PM)Off The Reservation Wrote:  Polar suggests a look-deeper-book but OP you reply no thanks - only want a "game" book so the wife (who obviously is berated about her health) can "seduce" you better. You know dude, a lot of women would look at a guy who thinks this way and think he is a "woman" for placing the responsibility on her.

GAME isn't she she she she she blaming.

RED PILL isn't excuses for self or others.

RVF isn't a cable tv channel for passive sensationalism over how shitty someones wife is years on end.

WORK ON yourself and she will follow.

The look deeper books recommended unfortunately looked highly flawed. Yes, men reviewed David Deida's books for men well. His books for women unfortunately have what look like a lot of paid 5 star reviews and then a slew of 1 & 2 stars from women who are like "WTF is this shit?". My wife is highly practical and has a low airy-fairy bullshit tolerance and a philosophical treatise of femininity from a man's PoV in poem form isn't what she needs.

What I think she needs is a "how to get in your husbands head" kind of book.

I have vastly improved my life and attitude from where I was three years ago. My wife and I get along far better than we used to. Our sex life is far better than it used to be. My physical attraction to her is very low, and has been for years. This is not new to me. I've identified the critical factor - she does not engage my head enough. The resources I've found online simply look terrible.



(12-07-2017 02:37 PM)RoastBeefCurtains4Me Wrote:  If you used to go to Athol Kay's website, then you know the next step is to get your finances in order so you can dump her, and make it a realistic threat. Also, explain to her that you expect that each partner in a marriage has an obligation to remain attractive for each other, and to have a basic level of skill in seductive behavior. Point out that you're doing your part, and that other women are certainly willing to do this for you if she won't.

It's time to call a spade a spade in describing her behavior, and raise the realistic prospect of leaving. OTR above says that if you lead, she will follow. This is not always true, and even when it is, you sometimes have to move out and start banging other women before she realizes she wants you. You have to show her that you won't put up with her lazy disrespect of you as her husband, and show that it's not a bluff, it's a fact.

If you take this attitude, then soon, one way or the other, you will have a girl acting sweet, girly, and seductive, wanting to do dirty things with you. Don't settle for less.

I think you're right, calling a spade a spade - and exactly what you've said "sweet, girly & seductive" is the part missing. Good advice too.

I really am hitting the point where I'm realizing that I may need to move on. I don't want to, on account of my kids, but I may have to. As much as I am frustrated with my wife... I do not relish the idea of meeting new women, going through the whole song and dance to find out if we are compatible etc. I don't like the idea of not seeing my kids every night etc. It's not easy to just walk away, despite being tempting.
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2017 03:18 PM by Tytalus.)
12-07-2017 03:13 PM
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
(12-07-2017 03:13 PM)Tytalus Wrote:  What I think she needs is a "how to get in your husbands head" kind of book.

https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feedi...0060520620

shes far more red pill than you might expect...

"You are very resistant to this..."
12-07-2017 03:17 PM
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
(12-07-2017 03:17 PM)Off The Reservation Wrote:  
(12-07-2017 03:13 PM)Tytalus Wrote:  What I think she needs is a "how to get in your husbands head" kind of book.

https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feedi...0060520620

shes far more red pill than you might expect...

Thanks! The other author I have found is Laura Doyle:

https://www.amazon.com/Laura-Doyle/e/B00...959&sr=8-1

Turns out she did an AMA for the r/redpillwomen sub on reddit some years ago.
12-08-2017 12:15 AM
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
(12-07-2017 03:13 PM)Tytalus Wrote:  I'll work on the emotional angle. The problem is she is Diabetic, and that makes exercising very difficult. "Going for a walk" has resulted blood sugars so low her feet have gone numb. She has very variable blood sugars and has spent a long time researching how to control them, and thankfully is better about it. We finally had the lightbulb moment and she's starting to research how diabetic athletes train. (Mostly they do it by being single and no kids, so they can spend inordinate amounts of time obsessed with their blood sugars.)

Weight is lost in the kitchen not the gym.

She'll lose weight if she gradually reduces what she eats.
What type of diabetes does she have?

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12-08-2017 12:28 AM
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
Type 1 or type 2?
12-08-2017 10:54 AM
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
Tytalus, don't let some of these responses discourage you. They really don't get it. You married your wife for a reason and it's now your responsibility to ensure that the bugs in it are worked out.

When I first met my wife, she was very over weight and lonely. She filled that loneliness with creamy and rich foods.

I helped clean her diet up gradually through kindness and most importantly tough love. I have a knack of making women insecure and then building them up. It's easy to do and highly effective.

Grab your woman's bits that she's insecure about. Love handles, belly, arm fat, etc. Grab at it but be playful in a cute way.

She'll be ashamed about it, but the playfulness of it will gloss it over.

Next, I helped my wife lose weight by first off doing a workout regiment with her where I pushed her myself. I also help choose and cook meals.

She was a 5 when I met her and now she's upped herself to a 6. If she keeps up she'll be a 7. A few forum members have met her and while she isn't a bad b1tch, she's loyal, understanding, and above all someone who will make a great mother. She's red pill through and through which makes communicating very easy.

If you're serious about improving your wife's health, go over to BB.com and start building a plan. Start eating healthier too. Doing work outs jointly will exponentially increase her success.

There's a great underutilized forum on reddit called RedPill Women of Subreddit.

They're goal is to encourage women to be the best that they can be in order to attract the men they want. I would tell her to check it out and see what she thinks about it.

If your wife really loves you, she'll do what you say. If she doesn't, I would be worried about the long term viability of your marriage if you're not able to discuss all topics like this.
(This post was last modified: 12-08-2017 11:18 PM by The Beast1.)
12-08-2017 11:16 PM
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
I'd like to also add, give her time. Took my wife a couple years to really buckle down and take her fitness seriously. We built her up from the ground. First bought her some home workout dvd's. Than moved on to "eating less". Now a days almost evverything she eats is logged in my fitness app, like her husband. We enjoy going to the gym and training together. Great way for couples to spend time. Shes in the gym 4 days a week. More if i would allow her to but feel less is more after 4 days. Your wife will come along, just give her time.
If your "in shape" she should be motivated by your progress and want to go to the gym with you. Thats what made my wife buckle down. Also, when you get approached by woman in front of your wife, it will irate her and motivate her to do something so you dont stray off with someone else. Thats exactly what my wife told me.

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12-09-2017 01:27 PM
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RE: Helping a wife improve her girl-game?
(12-07-2017 03:09 PM)Off The Reservation Wrote:  ^
Would this be true for

a man who engages a woman but learns her tenancies and cuts it off

a man who marries a woman who gets fat but doesn't have kids w her

a man who marries a fat woman and rewards her with 3 kids then takes issue with the weight later?

one who has a second and third kid after she is fat??

one who had only the third kid after she was fat??

Just askin.

OTR,

I appreciate a lot of your posts, so I don't mean to call you out by disagreeing. I referenced Athol Kay, from Married Man Sex Life, who the OP referenced in an earlier post about this issue. His material advocates improving yourself, then making an ultimatum if it becomes necessary, and going through with leaving if she will not respond adequately to the ultimatum. I see the OP as being at this point.

A wife who has successfully used her husband's commitment to the marriage to force him into a losing position will not easily reform. Society and the law encourages her very strongly to stick to her guns, and the man stands to lose his children and control of his finances.

She is not prepared to be reasonable or fair. Her biology is driving her to emasculate him fully, or see him dominate her fully.

Dread is the most powerful weapon once things get to this stage. The OP and men like him are dedicated to the marriage, as would have been right in a better, lost time. However, he is being exploited and abused for his dedication. If he wields dread as he is justified in doing, the wife might actually start to behave in a moral way towards her husband again. If he can't dominate her fully, she is likely prepared to go down in flames and destroy her life and her children's lives rather than reform.

He owes it to her and to himself to go hard core, and let her know he will fuck sweet young pussy instead of her fat, poor hygiene pussy, if she will not shape up. If she does not shape up, he should do it in fact, and not wait too long.

I can tell you that I have been in the same position, and frankly, if you told me 6 years ago how well my wife could treat me, I would not have even been able to comprehend it. Having your wife treat you like alpha fux instead of beta bux is real. The OP should not stick around for 10-15 more years of abuse before pulling the trigger, the way I did. He should pull it now, pay the price, and then have a good life with worthy female companionship.

I'm the tower of power, too sweet to be sour. I'm funky like a monkey. Sky's the limit and space is the place!
-Randy Savage
(This post was last modified: Today 02:24 PM by RoastBeefCurtains4Me.)
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