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Married man and unmarried woman
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Polniy_Sostav Offline
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Married man and unmarried woman
Hi guys
thought i'd post this in the newbie forum since maybe i m not so good in dating...

Here is the situation , I am married for a few years and im happy in couple. However I want to challenge myself and get better socially and gain some more self-confidence. I am already much better but I yet have to progress , one of my friend and colleague is a proper casanova (he is married too) and gets almost all girls , since he works under my command and he likes me , i feel like he is ready to help me on this , and I must admit that I get inspired from him.

My goal is not necessarily to get into relationships but just to play with fire and get some numbers , get the self confidence and keep the testosterone high , knowing that if i want i can get this girl ,that one , and that one .

In the past and before my wedding i used to have one girl a year m, and usually a drunk one or a fat one , and even though i ve never really been a real beta i ve always been downgrading myself with all sort of stupid women having zero level of self-confidence.

Now I have a good job and i live in another country , and the only reason why nothing happens at work is because everyone knows i am married and no girl dares to do anything since I behave quite dominant.

Without being extremely nice looking I dont think I look ugly , so I am probably average , with a few good features ( very good job + blue eyes + very tall). I yet have to lsoe some weight but i am still decent.

So here it is , I often play outside my own country and get numbers and stop , then I often sabotage myself saying im married or saying that I dream about platonic love , but somehow the girls keep writing me since I am such a lyrical maestro , I always make them understand that they are not good enough for me and that i have the biggest choice ever and that she has to step up to keep on talking to me , and they believe it , even if it s not true.

So , now straight to the point. My colleague invited me to play volleyball and I am a beginner . Last week , two of her friends came to our friendly match , both were former semi-pros , and one of them was in our team. I came to the match in excellent mood (not sure why) and I had some chit-chat with her with a few strong jokes. But that's it , I didn't chat her up , asked her some stuff about volleyball etc since she was tactically so knowledgeable (as a former pro).

Later going back home , my friend in the car told me that this girl asked him (they are childhood friends) about me , because she liked me. Of course , at that moment , I thought my friend is trolling me so I didn't pay attention. We were even laughing about it ( we regularly do such jokes to each other at work)

The next day my friend show me some proof that it was true and I was under the shock , because clearly she is out of my league. So I was at the same time extremely happy. Then I started to ask my friend about how is this girl (since he knows her from childhood) , if she is a bitch , a serious one ,etc etc

He told me many good things about her , and she is kind of serious , still single at 27. The reason why she is single is probably because she has too high standards , she comes from a good family and struggles to find someone of her level (that's my personal theory). Maybe that s why she is interested in me , besides my physical side. (she knows i m my colleague's boss)

Another thing is that she is a good friend of my colleague's wife so i have to be careful since my colleague s wife also knows my wife. So I told my friend anyway , tell her that i like her but mention that i am married and a father of two(let's play with fire and still keep appearences clean)

At that point , she got mad at my friend and even had bad words about me ( I didnt even ask her out or asked her number or behaved like i want her , i ve just had a normal chit chat , even though i was very impressed by her i didnt let it reflect) .

Before to go further m, I would like to know why this hysterical reaction , while I did absolutely nothing wrong. Let me help understand this feminine reaction.

Thank you,.
02-14-2018 04:14 AM
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Cobra Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
Mistake : You asked your friend to do YOUR work. Also given he knows her, she didn't want to appear like a slut in front of your friend going after a married guy. We here call that a "hamster." You seem to be in Eastern Europe or nearby where girls are conservative in public so this makes sense.

Lesson: Rely on friends to LEARN game. Don't rely on them to run game for you. That's your job.

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(This post was last modified: 02-14-2018 04:24 AM by Cobra.)
02-14-2018 04:22 AM
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Elster Away
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Post: #3
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
Most women (slut or not) will react very badly when they've engaged in what THEY consider flirting and the apparent or aspiring suitor tells them he's hitched, at least in situations where third parties are present (your friend playing matchmaker).
Her reaction is not so much female hysteria as rather logical,man.

We move between light and shadow, mutually influencing and being influenced through shades of gray...
(This post was last modified: 02-14-2018 06:12 AM by Elster.)
02-14-2018 06:10 AM
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Polniy_Sostav Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
Thanks for the answers
But in this case she was asking my friend , and my friend passed the message. I didn't take any initiative at all.
Now she pretends that we had a plan and that we disrespect her.
Another thing that I don't get , is why she doesn't value the fact that we are honest and tell her the truth , e.g. this guy is married . She was a stunner and 95%+ of men in my situation would have lied to get her into bed after a few weeks before to reveal everything.
02-14-2018 07:39 AM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
You are married, game your wife.
02-14-2018 06:28 PM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
Why would you fuck up your work Professional social life for some pussy ?

That's the stupidest thing you can do.

Sure run around with your buddy and spit game at girls but never under any circumstances do you involve your work friends in extra marital affairs or have them do your bidding.

"Go be fat on someone else's time" - Henry Rollins

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02-14-2018 06:55 PM
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Cobra Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
^Good point.

You're very careless OP. You will get in trouble.

Stop asking us questions on what everything means and address what we're telling you first.

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02-14-2018 08:35 PM
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Polniy_Sostav Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
I game my wife every day. DOnt worry about that.
And regarding my friend , I know exactly who he is fucking and when , and I know his wife.
I am not stupid to do that with someone I don’t trust .

I will take your recommendations on board , however bear in mind that I haven’t Gamed anyone.
I don’t really understand what is careless in my behaviour.
I was just trying to understand why girls react hysterically when one guy they like is married.

Anyway I don’t feel anything for this girl at all so it s almost case closed.
(This post was last modified: 02-15-2018 02:56 PM by Polniy_Sostav.)
02-15-2018 02:55 PM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
Laugh3

"Go be fat on someone else's time" - Henry Rollins

"i fascisti si dividono in due categorie: i fascisti e gli antifascisti" (there are two types of fascists: fascists and anti-fascists)

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02-15-2018 03:02 PM
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Jetset Online
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Post: #10
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
Tried to start a reply three times. Just gonna do this.

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02-15-2018 03:20 PM
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Elster Away
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Post: #11
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
(02-15-2018 02:55 PM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  I was just trying to understand why girls react hysterically when one guy they like is married

Flip the tables, a girl acts interested in and shows it in some way or acts flirtatiously with you, later on you find out she is married.
What will you think?

We move between light and shadow, mutually influencing and being influenced through shades of gray...
02-15-2018 03:22 PM
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Polniy_Sostav Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
really , I don’t want to be annoying , but I think my attitude was particularly chevaleresque. That girl is really spoiled.

I ll forget her and fuck her in 10 years time when she will be married.
02-15-2018 03:24 PM
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Noir Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
You seem to have made your mind up and I won't judge the ethics of this.

All I am going to tell you is, be smart about this.

Single women will fuck your marriage up faster than you can say 'stop'. Stick to foreign lays, if you go the single route.

Married/taken women have just as much to lose (and are usually easier). If you shit in your own environment, these are the best option (relative best, it's still a stupid thing given the stakes).

Don't fuck local unmarried women. If you do shit like this, you're better off fucking women in relationships.

There's leverage ala mutually assured destruction.

This sounds like an ego thing so go succeed at some other shit in life rather and remember, play with fire and you will get burnt.
02-16-2018 01:21 PM
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Polniy_Sostav Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Married man and unmarried woman
Good job Noir , you have managed to influence me.
I think i lack experience more than anything. I got a bit carried away.
I will stick to inoffensive social chit-chat game with local married women and may consider something sexual only on solo trips/business trips in another country.

My ego shit must go into something else , more constructive for my inner self and my family.
02-16-2018 03:06 PM
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