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Dubai Nightlife Data Sheet '17 - 18' - By Boris
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Boris Alotovmuff Offline
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Dubai Nightlife Data Sheet '17 - 18' - By Boris
I went to Dubai at end of 2017 for the second time. Dubai is a real sleazy and disgusting place in many ways, its underbelly of sleaze hidden behind a polished veneer of modernity and wealth. As usual, the best looking women to be found here are from Russia and Ukraine. Much of this has been discussed on prior threads before, so as always I'm focusing solely on giving an up to date perspective on the nightlife...

Nightife in Dubai centres around the concept of the ladies night - this is where almost every venue has a specific night (usually a quieter mid-week night) where ladies get free drinks, sometimes free drinks all night. Therefore if you want to plan your holiday in Dubai around chasing girls, then I would advise following the ladies nights around town. However, Dubai is fairly massive so some logistical planning is required. I would advise staying in Jumeriah or even downtown. JBR and Marina are a little far south and family orientated if you ask me but it’s all down to personal preference.

Here is a list of places to see (or avoid):


Restaurants

Coya
Expensive peruvian restaurant same as the one in London. Has a bar area but is filled with older British dullards. Avoid. 3/10

Zuma
Awesome, huge and expensive restaurant same as the one in London. Bar area is filled to the brim with Russian hotties and some hookers. You will definitely see some of the hottest women in your life here so worth a look. 8/10

Buddha Bar
Expensive dining place, nice food same as all other Buddha bars in the world. Have been to the bar on ground level several times and it was a sausage fest. Older crowd. Some Slavs surrounded by the hungry expat sausage and also some hookers lurking. Classy but a bit boring. 5/10

Atmosphere Burj Khalifa
Thought it would be tourist trap since its on the 120th odd floor of the Wiz Khalifa (ha) but it was actually pretty cool. Mostly tables so not conducive to mingling but great date venue for cocktails if you want to impress someone. Sat in then lounge area which has decent bar-style food, think there is a dedicated restaurant area. Classy 7/10


Lounges / Bars

Pier 7
This is a complex of bars and restaurants in the Marina and is often recommended as a good starting point to socialize in Dubai. I however found all of the venues in this complex to be utter shitholes, full of younger british chavs, older drunken expats and not a Slavic beauty in sight. The drinks here can be cheaper than some other places so the younger tourists flock here. Think I visited Cargo, Atelier-M and AsiaAsia, all crap. 2/10

Mercury Lounge
Really nice rooftop bar at the four seasons jumeirah. has a nice setup, good mix of people and very buzzy. Great place to mingle at the start of the evening. Classy place, no chavs. 8/10

Cielo Sky Lounge and QD’s rooftop lounge
Couple of decent outdoor lounge bars located near to each other. Music at acceptable levels and quite calm. Great for date or pre drink cocktails. 7/10

360 Degree Bar
Located a short golf buggy ride from Jumeirah beach hotel. Often recommended but to me is a real horrible downmarket shithole full of 18-25 Essex Chavs and self important Arabs coming to leer at the drunken British teenagers. So lame, walked in and walked out. 2/10

Habtoor beach club
This is the day club venue at the Habtoor Grand hotel in JBR and is a Nikki beach style posers venue for the daytime. Not my scene but if you like daytime drinking by the pool and are prepared to pay for entry then this place is not bad at all. 7/10

Bliss Lounge
Really nice outdoor beach lounge. Good sushi and nice for a date venue, not too loud deep house DJ on certain nights. Quite quiet but worth a look. Frequented mostly by tourists since it’s in JBR. 6/10

Sass Cafe
Similar story, this is a venue for the same Moscow / Monaco / Dubai circuit set who want to spend vast sums on very average food and watch mindless entertainment. The bar section is very small but filled with Russians, face control is harsh. Not as good as the one in Monaco but still worth a look. 6/10

Treehouse
Rooftop lounge bar with foliage. Well dressed people here and harsh face control. Pretty decent 7/10

Cu-Ba
Nice rooftop lounge all decked in white with a pool. Went for the ladies night but it was disappointingly empty so possibly avoid. 3/10


Clubs

White Club
Awesome huge, open air (semi covered) super club with mixed ages of clientele. We got a great table on an elevated platform for a reasonable minimum spend and it was awesome. The music here is really good if you like deep house played on a decent sound system. Very easy to pull here if you have a table, your dedicated server will assist you in expediting your chosen targets to your table Vegas style. Probably one of the coolest looking clubs I have ever been to. 9/10

BOA
Awesome huge super club with arena style stage and international performers, mostly urban music. Has a lounge section for sitting and smoking shisha and a very dark bar area great for mingling. This is the best mainstream club along with white and is packed with girls. Harsh face control and the place is rammed at weekends. If I remember correctly there was a sofa in the huge lift which I thought was pretty cool… 9/10

Billionaire Mansion
Moscow style dinner / club venue with large dining room and a dance floor next door. It is VERY expensive here if I remember correctly. Full of sponsor seeking slavs in pairs, and others sat with their older male sponsors. The dinner is accompanied by fairly lame stage shows, it is fully geared towards the Russians who seemed to make up at least 50% of the clientele and love this cheesy crap. Should have been awesome (I love Moscow style, mindless glamour venues) but it’s frankly a bit lame. Think ladies night is a Thursday. 6/10

XL Club Habtoor grand
Indoor club with mostly urban nights. Fairly sleazy and more downmarket than some other clubs. Worth a look if nearby but not that great. 6/10

Cavalli Club
Known for being a high end hooker club, but also has some normal people here mixed in particularly on ladies night. Eye wateringly expensive for drinks, mainstream dance music and arab tunes. Plenty of tables but the layout is such that you can just walk around at will, it isn’t sectioned off. All of the girls standing at the bar are hookers without exception. When the club closes the front parking area becomes an open air sex meat market with probably 50 different nationalities represented. Many people turn up to Cavalli at closing just to stand outside and watch the hooker zoo. Worth a look just for fun, but really it’s a sleazy dump with a very expensive interior. 6/10

Armani Prive Club

Smallish subterranean type club under the Armani hotel, very similar vibe to Project or Toy Room in London with exactly the same types of people (i.e. lovers of urban music). Pretty lame but some decent chicks. Better for under 30s. 6/10

VII
Rooftop lounge / club with foliage. Can't actually remember anything about this place due to drunkenness but If it's the one I'm thinking of it had big queues and harsh face control and would probably therefore be quite decent if you can get in.



P4P venues to be avoided.
Hookers are aplenty here and difficult to avoid sadly even in the normal bars. However some venues are 100% hooker only places so beware f you find yourselves in one of these venues: Jules bar, Premiere, Red Square, Marine bar and various others.


Overall I would not recommend Dubai if your sole mission is to meet normal girls. The vacuous, gold digging nature of the hotter women will disgust you and the desperate, lonely, 30+ expat women looking for a partner among the transients will depress you. Go there for the weather and the good food and to see it once... I don't intend to return.
02-20-2018 09:58 AM
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RE: Dubai Nightlife Data Sheet '17 - 18' - By Boris
Good stuff - also check your bags before flying there well. I have a friend who spent 6 months in prison for candies bought at a South American airport. (Candies had no drug contact, but were made out of coca-leafs. They sell this as a gimmick to Europeans.) Also a man coming from Netherlands spent 6 months because a smudge of marihuana was stuck to his shoe.

And any woman should be careful when a local Arab approaches her and she rejects his advances. One girl spent 6 months in prison for "insulting a man".

And if anyone offers you drugs there - unless he is truly super-high-up - then always refuse. There are scores and scores of informants who are set upon the population to shore up the crime stats for the police. Westerners usually spend there only 3-6 months while poor Pakistanis and Bangladeshis are left to rot for years, but this is no picnic.

You can game the escorts, though even then you gotta be careful. Some have exclusivity contracts with the local sheiks and are not supposed to screw around with other men. Fucking such a girl may also result in a jail sentence.

People have plenty of fun in Dubai until something jars them to reality that this is still a highly radical primitive place.
(This post was last modified: 02-21-2018 10:59 AM by Simeon_Strangelight.)
02-21-2018 10:57 AM
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RE: Dubai Nightlife Data Sheet '17 - 18' - By Boris
(02-20-2018 09:58 AM)Boris Alotovmuff Wrote:  P4P venues to be avoided.
Hookers are aplenty here and difficult to avoid sadly even in the normal bars. However some venues are 100% hooker only places so beware f you find yourselves in one of these venues: Jules bar, Premiere, Red Square, Marine bar and various others.
I'd add the York Hotel, it's exclusively used for prostitute hookups and unofficially sanctioned due to how brazen they are. Seriously, avoid the York Hotel like the plague otherwise you may end up with the plague!
02-21-2018 11:02 AM
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