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A different approach mindset
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firat113 Offline
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A different approach mindset
Try tricking your brain into thinking that this is just a friendly conversation rather than "an approach", because once you start as an approach and your brain isn't used to it yet, it won't come out naturally. It will seem forced or non-genuine. Not only that, your brain will stop seeing the situation as a threat. Fight or flight response won't be triggered if you apply this advice. If you're opening her up with an opinion opener, asking about her bag or her computer, or let's say you're complimenting her dress/shoes/outfit you'll have to invest a little bit of effort into the topic. I know guys that fall into the trap of using an opinion opener and out of nowhere jump to "you're pretty, where do you go to school?". It will be obvious for the girl you're just there for the approach and the opener will seem non-genuine, she will disregard it, when at first it was the one that got her talking with you in the first place. It's your phone line, don't disconnect it. Nobody likes a fake compliment. Be ready to elaborate further on your opener or just be genuine.

The thing about approaches is alot of guys have the wrong mindset. They're approaching with the end goal on their mind (number,date,lay) instead of just seeing first "Is this girl cool? Is she a match for me? Do i want to spend time with her?". Once i started adapting this abundance mentality, i started judging the girls based on what they would say to make me interested. I was excited for what next they would bring up to make me laugh, or what kind of interesting topics they would lead into and talk about. It's almost like im cheering for them, please be interesting, please impress me. So you get a switch in the roles. Suddenly there was less pressure on me, and i started having more success. I started having fun experimenting with daygame. It used to be a chore i had to do, get X approaches today or you're a piece of shit, get X numbers this week or you'll never improve. Horrible mindset.

It's different now. I don't go out spam approaching like many guys do, i just use it as a tool to improve my social relations. Whenever i see a cute girl and get that nervousness/anxiety hit for a second, i know it will be worth going for it. It's not the main dish, it's just a supplement. You don't need it every day, but it helps boost your confidence. So far very good results. Keep it light and fun. If you're vibing go for the number. Don't over analyze everything.

2 weeks ago i had a deep conversation with a girl i cold approached. After talking for a solid 30 min, she said "You seem so authentic, unlike many guys who i have talked to in the past months, you're interesting. Give me your number; we should connect another time." She was just visiting. She lives in a different city far away, but we exchanged details and she wants to come visit in June and see me again. We ended up talking for 2 hours. This is the first time ever a girl asked for my number first. It makes me think if it's the mindset change or that im coming off as more confident because i don't start with an end goal in mind, i just go with the flow. I feel like im drastically improving my game recently due to the many hours im putting into learning and reading this forum, going out and actually experimenting with different things. Putting theory into practice.

I've done this a few times this week, and it seems to work. I made my first approach ever in a library the other day and after 5 minutes of talking, i revealed my true intentions, the girl said, unfortunately, she had a boyfriend. I told her "don't worry we won't tell him anything, we will just pretend im your homosexual friend." She couldn't stop laughing."You made my day so much better." I followed up with. "Hey, I respect that. You seem like a very nice person, keep doing your thing."Thank you, you as well!" and i left with a big smile on my face. I had a fear of what people would think of me if i got rejected in front of everyone (the library is packed during exams.). But it was all in my head. Nobody cares. And i made it as if we were just two friends having a laugh, rather than an obvious pickup. A guy smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up lol. Perhaps a fellow game student.

I know some of you newbies, are guilty of this, because i used to be a victim of it when i first started out. Reading the forum, watching videos and acquiring theory has become a habit. Like watching TV. It gives you a false sense of making progress with women. You get stuck into what i call paralysis of analysis (over analyzing). You haven't improved your game because you've read the experience of others. You've only improved it once you've put the theory in play. When you experience it first hand. Because a successful member posted X and Y, doesn't mean it will work for you. He's more advanced and has a ton of experience backing him up. Focus on the quality of your interactions rather than the quantity. Stop obsessing over numbers. It's not about the end goal, it's about the journey. Make a commitment to yourself, and hold yourself accountable.

"But i've read so many threads and articles. But... i've read 3 books in the past month and watched hours of youtube content. But i've been busy analyzing infield videos..." You're doing it wrong. What if i told you an actual experience is worth more than all those things you've read/seen in the past weeks? Would you believe me? One good interaction in my book is better than hours of reading material. There's no doubt this forum is an invaluable resource of information about forming and advancing relationships and game, no matter what stage of the game you're in. But the resource is only useful if you use it to TAKE ACTION.

If you're not taking action, then rooshvforum has just become a form of entertainment for you, and it may have devolved into this without you even realizing it. You have to wake up.

"A Smooth Sea Never Made a Skillful Sailor" ― Franklin D. Roosevelt.

You will never learn if you're just sitting on your ass reading all this material in comfort, without going out and putting it to use, exposing yourself, getting rejected, learning. Don't be delusional and stop lying to make yourself feel better. I know many guys "who're confident they can pull X number of girls if they wanted, but they don't have the time." If you have time to read hours of theory, you also have time to take out 10 minutes of your day, to talk to a cute girl. Don't ever forget this statement. Confidence is a byproduct of success.
05-16-2018 05:37 PM
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AceP Offline
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Post: #2
RE: A different approach mindset
(05-16-2018 05:37 PM)firat113 Wrote:  Try tricking your brain into thinking that this is just a friendly conversation rather than "an approach", because once you start as an approach and your brain isn't used to it yet, it won't come out naturally. It will seem forced or non-genuine.

Beautiful post. Couldn't agree more. Nothing is more creepy than you not being genuine, all-in or comfortable with your approach. Classic direct vs indirect debate can go on and on, but the best approach is the approach you are most comfortable with and build on that (add more sexual spikes and such) will overall help you to where you want to lead the relationship towards.
05-17-2018 07:27 AM
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