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I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
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thedarkknight Offline
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I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
Alright everyone. I'm sure some of us can empathise with this thread.

Background

Last year, I had a relationship with a girl from a conservative community that ended with the family threatening my life due to my race and religion. During and after the event, I began to research into the community, culture and religion. This was a poor move, as I found out the community and culture harbour extremely hateful views towards me and people that look like me.

Current Situation

As luck would have it, the next girl I've formed a meaningful connection comes from the same part of the world but a different religion . Following the previous drama, I've decided to avoid public meetings and have told her I would never be seen in public with her and that she should look for her own kind. There is no point going through a bad experience just to do the same mistake again. That's how I see it.

The Issue

I work in a hospital and have found myself avoiding interaction with folllowers of that religion and people from that part of the world. When I do interact with them, I feel huge hatred and also fear, so I become extremely cold and professional. The hate is so forceful, that it drives me in the gym.

Question

How do I cope at work? How do I interact with people, who, more than likely, don't want me near them and harbour hateful thoughts? It's like hugging a snake. That's how I see it at least. This hatred is killing me.

Closing remarks

I know that there are Roosh members who believe some groups are trying to take over their country. I'm also sure that a few members may have been assaulted by a guy or group of guys from an ethnic group. How did you guys avoid developing blanket prejudice against a tribe that could appear as discrimination at work?

TDK

"Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you"
(This post was last modified: 05-18-2018 03:05 AM by thedarkknight.)
05-18-2018 03:01 AM
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nola Offline
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Post: #2
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
Firstly: 100% of all humans are prejudice, anyone who claims not be is either lying or autistic. Also having some level of racism and prejudice is not unhealthy. Our brains are wired this way to protect ourselves, many studies have been done on this. It's just not widely taught anymore because our education system is run by leftist. According to them you're guilty of a crime even if evolution was the perpetrator.

Secondly: Let's just go with you have an immense hate for whoever this group of people are for the sake of argument. It's part of life to have to deal with people on at least semi-congenial basis.

I remember when I moved to New Orleans I ended up signing a 6 month lease on a house in a bad ghetto sight unseen. I was the only white guy on my street not to mention the only guy with his shit together in general. I was surrounded by retarded thugs that I'm sure the resented me having my shit together as much as I resented them dealing crack off my stoop late night, firing off their pistols in the air or driving by at 3AM with their shitty local gangster rap threatening to blow my windows out and setting off every fucking car alarm on the street. I never really felt an immense hate towards black people but for the time I lived in that neighborhood I started really hating their culture. After I left New Orleans that all eventually subsided. I had a similar experience with Latinos in Miami. Even in NYC I felt I found myself disliking Jews and as I've mentioned in other post I'm half Jew. All were very strong feelings at the time but mostly temporary fleeting thoughts. Even having close friends part of both these cultures and ethnic groups it was uncontrollable.

I managed to maintain semi-congenial and professional relationships plus friendships with all the aforementioned groups in these phases of my life. I actually even openly talked about it with members of these groups. Obviously don't do that with co-workers.

Lastly: You should never care what others think about you no matter what the situation is. All you should be focusing on is keeping your side of the street clean, improving yourself and progressing in your career. If you're developing a extreme prejudice oh fucking well. I don't actually think there is anything you can do about that because humans naturally rationalize no matter what. If you can pinpoint when you're having an irrational thought then just mark it as irrational and move on going about your daily life. I've had girlfriends I'd fantasize about punching in the face but I did not tell them this, avoid them nor act on it. We all have crazy thoughts about everything under the sun. Self control and self regulation is paramount to living a healthy well balanced life.

If the people you're working around are that bad then I'd start looking for another job if it's something you actually have the inability to handle.
(This post was last modified: 05-18-2018 04:30 AM by nola.)
05-18-2018 04:07 AM
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Genghis Khan Offline
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Post: #3
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
Quote:During and after the event, I began to research into the community, culture and religion. This was a poor move, as I found out the community and culture harbour extremely hateful views towards me and people that look like me

Yeah Pakistani Muslims usually don't like outsiders fucking their women. Especially in the UK.

Quote:As luck would have it, the next girl I've formed a meaningful connection comes from the same part of the world but a different religion.

Not that many places in the world where "same part of the world but a different religion" is a thing. I take it you got with a Hindu or Sikh girl.

I think the UK has a lot of 3rd and 4th gen immigrants. That Hindu/Sikh girl's family might not have had a problem with you, though I can't blame you for not wanting to deal with them after your bad experience.

Quote:I work in a hospital and have found myself avoiding interaction with folllowers of that religion and people from that part of the world.

Seems a bit unpragmatic considering how many brown doctors and nurses there are nowadays in the Anglosphere. It's probably best to be courteous to them. Leave it at them, you don't have to be friends, keep it professional and courteous.

Quote:How did you guys avoid developing blanket prejudice against a tribe that could appear as discrimination at work?

Meh, Pakistanis in the UK are quite hateful and eager to turn the UK into a Muslim shithole. Maybe blanket prejudice isn't a bad thing in this scenario.

"If your woman is not honoring you and respecting you, that's not trivial." - WIA
"I was never so lonely as I was when I was unhappily married." - MMM
(This post was last modified: 05-18-2018 04:36 AM by Genghis Khan.)
05-18-2018 04:31 AM
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gework Offline
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Post: #4
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
They may have been taught that you have a head like a raisin.

Islam is not race.

Discussionclosed
05-18-2018 04:38 AM
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godzilla Offline
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Post: #5
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
In life we tend to take what happens in our relationships much more personally then anything else, so your current feelings aren't wrong.

At the same time, if you took every instance where you felt wronged in life and held a prejudice against that group, you would pretty much hate everyone.
05-18-2018 04:44 AM
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Post: #6
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
What's with all the cloak and daggers? Just tell it straight otherwise it reads like trolling.
(This post was last modified: 05-18-2018 05:00 AM by Rush87.)
05-18-2018 04:59 AM
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Malone Online
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Post: #7
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
So is this some bullshit where you reveal at the end that it was the white guys that were the real racists?

If so get that off your chest now, please. This pussyfooting around about race and religion is uncalled for on RVF.
05-18-2018 05:00 AM
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Simeon_Strangelight Offline
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RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
First of all - what is your race and religion?

And what religion are you talking about? Islam? And you being black and Christian?

Or are you a Pakistani Muslim and complaining about evil White Christians? Be specific.

The best way is by addressing the issue head-on.

Look at the problem as an ideology - even if one ideology and their attitudes towards you are negative, then that does not mean that all of the people are like that.

Many folk refuse to be influenced by it.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMhruZ3...cpA/videos
Introverted Smiles is a Pakistani Ex-Muslim for example.

It's easy to find good people to address all those topics. You can find black Hoteps and black positive "race-realists" who have no problem talking with the likes of Jared Taylor or the Alt-Right. You find Christians and Ex-Muslims who have love and understanding for Muslims despite criticizing the ideology.

Awareness and knowledge is key - you learn and then you replace whatever visceral automatic reaction you have with wisdom - the ability to differentiate between people on an individual basis - also the ability to understand what pulls at their group mentality. That helps when understanding why certain groups can treat you differently.
(This post was last modified: 05-18-2018 05:22 AM by Simeon_Strangelight.)
05-18-2018 05:16 AM
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thedarkknight Offline
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RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
I’m black Roman Catholic

"Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you"
05-18-2018 05:24 AM
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Simeon_Strangelight Offline
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RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
(05-18-2018 05:24 AM)thedarkknight Wrote:  I’m black Roman Catholic

I thought so much being in Britain and all. I grew up White Roman Catholic, so we have a similar religious upbringing.

My recommendation stays - learn about Islam from non-hateful but aware people:




David Wood had a best friend who was Pakistani Muslim and later converted to Christianity - this Ramadan series is funny.




Pakistani Ex-Muslim.

When you realize where they are coming from, what fuels their mindset, then you can look past that or treat the people just professionally with a cool and calm behavior. That is not hate or racism. It's about being kind, loving and open to the kind and open and being professional, careful and cool towards the close-minded.

As for the relationship to that woman - you were wise to end all contact. Her family might have done violence to her if they could not get to you. You have to realize that certain tribes are told to look down on others - a black Christian is probably the worst aside from a black Atheist. Plus there is the massive inbreeding over the generations which produces more aggressive people. Still - any tribe can produce a Kaotic who is a positive shitlord or a genius or saint. Interactions with certain tribes in negative mindsets will be tough. But know that even those tribes can change over generations. Hate will only poison yourself, so it's better to try to be at least neutral.
(This post was last modified: 05-18-2018 06:31 AM by Simeon_Strangelight.)
05-18-2018 06:26 AM
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Fortis Away
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Post: #11
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
I think people tend to cut you slack for being black and slightly racist (as long as it's towards white people), but I'd be very careful about displaying racism towards muslims. They're the UK's protected class and they're probably the only group out there right now that can shatter your black race protection.

Honestly, I think living around any group of people long enough sometimes can embitter you, especially if their culture is a little fucked up. I had a similar experience with Chinese, as Suits, TKai and Jsway can probably tell you. I would make sure that you memorize the PC-party lines, and also master your Burt face. Sometimes the best thing you can do is give someone a stern look and say nothing about a certain topic. Luckily, in China no one cares if I'm conservative, but if I were back home I'd be biting my knuckle all the time listening to blathering idiots.

Let us try to maintain a higher standard of life than that of the multitude, but not a contrary standard; otherwise, we shall frighten away and repel the very persons whom we are trying to improve.

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05-18-2018 06:34 AM
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Saweeep Offline
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Post: #12
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
(05-18-2018 04:38 AM)gework Wrote:  They may have been taught that you have a head like a raisin.

Islam is not race.

Discussionclosed

Not according to UK discrimination/hate speech laws.

Fucked up, I know.

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05-18-2018 06:35 AM
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Post: #13
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
I might be dense but I can't figure out the girls' backgrounds. You're a black catholic brit and you dated 2 different girls from the same part of the world but 2 different religions, both of whom have antipathy toward your race and/or religion? The details matter in order to get relevant advise. Or maybe you're not looking for advise, you're just venting. I hope you feel better now.
05-18-2018 06:37 AM
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Post: #14
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
Being from the UK, you do not realise how much everyone else is obsessed with race. Whites have a stratospheric propensity to altruism vs others. Most countries think of sub-saharan Africans very lowly.

As a previous poster said, don't fuck with Pakistani muslims' girls. You could end up raped or dead. https://www.10news.one/father-honor-rape...boyfriend/

An ex-girlfriend of mine was sexually assaulted by a muslim but you wouldn't find friendlier people than the muslim Turks in my town.

Tread carefully and represent your tribe as best you can.
05-18-2018 06:46 AM
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Post: #15
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
I think you have post-traumatic stress due to the initial death threats against your life. The PTSD is now sinking into your relationships and your work and poisoning everything. If so, it will burn you out eventually.

I'm not sure how to advise you to deal with this though, except maybe to try and talk it over with someone you trust or to find a cognitive behaviour therapist.

Developing intense fear/hatred just by being in the presence of someone is not normal (assuming there is no physical danger present), even for racists.

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(This post was last modified: 05-18-2018 07:22 AM by Thomas the Rhymer.)
05-18-2018 07:20 AM
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RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
Pakistanis and Muslims are not conservative, they are ultra-patriarchal and believe in force over thought and violence over discussion, are extremely prideful, terrirorial and believe the sun shines out of their assholes. They lie, deceive and spit in your face without a hint of shame.

They like to mimic black American gangster behaviour however in the way they look, walk and drive their cars. Laugh

Pakistani girls are just the herd being dragged along for the ride.
05-18-2018 08:30 AM
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AceP Offline
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Post: #17
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
(05-18-2018 08:30 AM)Foolsgo1d Wrote:  Pakistani girls are just the herd being dragged along for the ride.

I wonder if this is a good thing for us PUAs when seducing these "herd" women. As in they'll put out more easily because they'll grew up with the "submit to the man" mentality?

@OP it's always a good thing to practice self-restrain. You can be all alpha, cocky around women, but at the same time you can't act the same way around your boss.
05-18-2018 08:35 AM
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Post: #18
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
@OP. Different people are different

I'm of the opinion that you can't love people without understanding who they are.

A society that insists that different people who believe different things are in reality the same people who believe the same things is an evil society.

@OP I would encourage you to accept and love people for who they are and instead direct your wrath to those in society who are causing constant conflict by promoting falsehoods.
05-18-2018 11:01 AM
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RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
OP, you should convert to the other religion so you will no longer be racist if you hate them.

Win.

We were meant for far more than to suffer in our self created prisons only to die alone. It doesn't have to be that way. It never did.
05-18-2018 11:11 AM
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RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
(05-18-2018 05:24 AM)thedarkknight Wrote:  I’m black Roman Catholic

Hate will ruin you in the end and is anti-frame IMHO. I say do the personal work to tame those demons.
05-18-2018 11:45 AM
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RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
(05-18-2018 06:46 AM)ProGambler Wrote:  An ex-girlfriend of mine was sexually assaulted by a muslim but you wouldn't find friendlier people than the muslim Turks in my town.

They're just trying to sell their shitty kebabs.

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05-18-2018 12:32 PM
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RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
(05-18-2018 12:32 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  
(05-18-2018 06:46 AM)ProGambler Wrote:  An ex-girlfriend of mine was sexually assaulted by a muslim but you wouldn't find friendlier people than the muslim Turks in my town.

They're just trying to sell their shitty kebabs.

To pay for their prostitutes. Why don't the pick better tourist destinations to sell Kebabs for hookers?

Although I'll admit I kinda don't mind competing against P4P guys in clubs.
05-18-2018 12:38 PM
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RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
No one said this but I'm sorry bull shit like this happened to you and I'm sorry that worthless wastes of oxygen like that were even admitted into your country in the first place. For what it's worth I completely sympathize, I deal with this feeling with a different group of people that I also have to work with on a close basis. It's also completely reasonable for you (a black man) to be horrified that extremely dark brown Indians and Pakistanis (I assume that's who you're referring to) somehow see you as being inferior. It is completely fucked up, no two ways about it, actual racism like that is a disease.

I'm curious how did that girl react when you told her you wouldn't meet her in public?
05-18-2018 12:52 PM
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Post: #24
RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
Hey Dark Knight, I'm Pakistani - I'll be your friend, we can meet and hangout in Kona's Hawaiian ethnostate.

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05-18-2018 12:54 PM
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RE: I'm becoming a racist and I'm scared it may show at work
(05-18-2018 06:34 AM)Fortis Wrote:  Honestly, I think living around any group of people long enough sometimes can embitter you, especially if their culture is a little fucked up.

Fortis beat me to it. There is a difference between hating a group of people because you need a scapegoat, and hating a group of people because they predictably treat you like shit.

The first is racism.

The second is operant conditioning.

If you keep getting slapped, it is hard to blame you for not expecting your favorite cookie instead.

Can you separate your working self from your personal self?

Work is like a game, and the game is make the public happy.

You don't know them, have no personal relationship with them, so they are like a creek or a tree. You don't try to climb a creek or swim across a tree, you just take them as they are, as elements of your environment.

Not as people you have a relationship with.

In your personal life, you can just avoid the people who predictably treat you like shit.

This doesn't work for everyone, but might be worth a try.

(This has happened to me before and this was my solution. Once it was with a race, once it was with crazy owners, once it was with cruel, entitled octogenarian customers. It lowered my stress considerably.)

“I’m up here like a god and you’re down there in the dark like pigs in an Essex ditch.”

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(This post was last modified: 05-18-2018 01:46 PM by debeguiled.)
05-18-2018 01:44 PM
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