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This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
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whever Offline
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This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
Hi all, since I moved from the paradise of SE Asia to Norway, things have been dry. Finally, I got some movement. 3 chicks in three weeks, and came up short on all three. I suspect other factors too, but a lot of is to do with texting.

As context, I am 5'5", 40, fit, dress decently, with lot of confidence, good posture and tend to lead. Intellectually driven, so don't play the badass game. Plus in Norway, I am very short, so can't really play that game anyway.

1. A girl from Eastern Europe matched on Tinder. 1 of only 3 matches in 3 weeks, and the only one who engaged. 35, fit body, 5'7", part time yoga teacher, I would say 6 or 7. We planned to meet, were texting a bit, but then ended up meeting unplanned at a hike anyway. I whisked her away for a "walk" to get to know each other but didn't escalate. At the end of the day, we said goodbyes, and I gave her the European cheek kiss and just said "have a good one" trying to be vague and not needy.

Three days later, I suggest a drink, and she very politely declines and also tells me that she doesn't want to raise expectations. We have since exchanged a couple of texts, but it is of course dead.

2. A polish lawyer chic. Met on Happn. One of the 5 matches. 5'6", thin, sassy type. I banter, we seem to get along well, and set up a time. Then I move it by a couple of days due to a genuine reason, and then invite her to my place. She comes. And we kiss a couple of times. Not the make out type kiss, but just kiss. She leaves and messages me goodnight etc. And then we do a couple more messages before it dies too.

3. The most interesting one. Met her at an airport shop in Switzerland. Bought something from her/shop. Polish, 28, divorced, mother of a kid, a 5'9 or 5'10" stunner, decently smart, super body and easily a 9 or 9.5. I banter and come across as a man completely in control. Get her number and I say that if I am late to my friend's vineyard, she will get me a drink. She agrees. Of course it was all banter, but I thought why not make the drink happen.

I was there only for the weekend, so had to take some chances. And took chances I did. Texting was going well before I asked a serious question, and she totally became silent after that. As if I had dropped a bomb.

I have screenshots of the last two chats. Sharing them in good faith for the next 8 hours. I don't know a better way to share 30 screenshots, so using google drive. Please let me know if it is not the preferred way around here.

Here is the folder for the chat with the lawyer chic from Happn: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1BiZ0TF...-p0mrwd-wf

Here is the folder for the chat with the stunner from the airport: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1E_pkMD...TqY6ggIf3X


Any feedback is welcome. I am willing to learn, so be critical. Any other point - also, please raise.

Thanks in advance.
06-13-2018 05:17 PM
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RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
Just looking at the first link from Happn

I'll be honest:

Why the hell are you texting so much and asking so many damn questions?

That kind of kills the vibe before going on a date with someone.

Always use the KISS method (Keep It Simple Stupid)


Keep the texts limited, respond sparingly, unless you're planning for an immediate meet up.


Your texts come off as needy man, you have to dial back the sarcasm, and the "miss X".

You also come of as over enthusiastic as well.


The pictures are a good thing showing you doing cool stuff.


You text multiple times without answer- text once and wait for her to text back, otherwise wait and see and send a follow up text a few days later.

Usually the lead is dead if there is no response after the follow up text.


Don't worry, even sometimes I catch myself almost double texting or sending a follow up text.

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(This post was last modified: 06-13-2018 06:09 PM by kaotic.)
06-13-2018 05:37 PM
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Avadhuta Offline
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RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
I just had a quick look through the pictures but stopped when I read "What are your dreams? Fears?".

You're trying to be friends with these girls. Not only that, but through text.

They already have friends. They'll tell their dreams and fears to orbiters who they will never fuck. You just made it to that category.

I'd take a long look at the perspective you take on being "intellectually driven" as you say. I understand, I've been there, looking for a woman who "gets it", but they are just wired differently. If you want an intellectual connection with a girl or a woman you will at best find one who is superficially interested and will make you believe they are into whatever you are into but they are in it for the attention. That's it. And if you by luck you do get to have sex with one of them on that level, it will most likely be a homely girl with whom it won't be particularly exciting.

Be clear with yourself if this is what you want. If it is, go for it but by the sound of your post, you're looking for action.

There is so much information on these forums and it really seems like you didn't do your homework. I'm not a spoon feeder so you'll have to use the search function. This place has existed for years and virtually every gaming topic has been addressed one way or another so make use of the vast wealth of information available here and then come back when you've actually taken the time to assess your situation and where you're heading.

It seems to be like texting is a symptom of your issues rather than the problem itself. You don't seem to have any frame. So I'd start with that if I were you.
06-13-2018 06:32 PM
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RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
What was all those text messages. Wow. The lawyer chick dropped you quickly after a few kisses you failed to escalate. The 2 lawyers in my past did not have a lot of free time and with the slew of prospects she may have just nexted you. Your hot milf who you rate a 9, could took the serious question as a red flag so early in meeting you.
06-13-2018 07:13 PM
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RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
Your text game sucks.

You're asking too many questions. You're saying things like "I understand if you're not interested"

Text is to set up dates. Text if for logistics. Maybe just a little comfort. But mostly for logistics. Once a date is set up via text, pretty much go completely silent until the day or the date or until the actual date.

this is true, until at least, you've banged a girl several times and she is texting you to initiate conversation. in other words, until she's hooked.

Getting to know each other, the questions, the banter, the humor; all of that is done in person. Doing it on text, as you have been, is a mistake.

If you have lengthy ass text exchanges with girls and tell them a bunch of information via text, there is no more mystery to you. So, the girl thinks "I already know everything about this guy. He's puked up everything about himself. He's no longer a mystery. Boring" and she moves on.

Her texts should be longer and more wordy than yours. When I read your text exchanges it's the opposite.

You need to study text game and apply it. In short: Be brief but upbeat. Use text for logistics and to set up dates. Once the date is set up - Stop texting. Don't text her until you see her again, except for maybe the afternoon of the date if you want to confirm.

Keep the long conversations and questions for in person.

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(This post was last modified: 06-13-2018 07:50 PM by robreke.)
06-13-2018 07:46 PM
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RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
(06-13-2018 07:46 PM)robreke Wrote:  Your text game sucks.

You're asking too many questions. You're saying things like "I understand if you're not interested"

Text is to set up dates. Text if for logistics. Maybe just a little comfort. But mostly for logistics. Once a date is set up via text, pretty much go completely silent until the day or the date or until the actual date.

I disagree, with Robreke, in this regard - there's much that can be done over texting, however I agree with this strategy for when either you're a relatively new at text game or have no idea how to proceed - then, just pushing straightforwardly to the date city is most likely the best course of action.

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(This post was last modified: 06-14-2018 05:44 AM by ksbms.)
06-14-2018 05:43 AM
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RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
(06-13-2018 05:17 PM)whever Wrote:  3. The most interesting one. Met her at an airport shop in Switzerland. Bought something from her/shop. Polish, 28, divorced, mother of a kid, a 5'9 or 5'10" stunner, decently smart, super body and easily a 9 or 9.5. I banter and come across as a man completely in control. Get her number and I say that if I am late to my friend's vineyard, she will get me a drink. She agrees. Of course it was all banter, but I thought why not make the drink happen.

I was there only for the weekend, so had to take some chances. And took chances I did. Texting was going well before I asked a serious question, and she totally became silent after that. As if I had dropped a bomb.


Any feedback is welcome. I am willing to learn, so be critical. Any other point - also, please raise.

Thanks in advance.

I'll post an answer regarding the airport girl in the text game thread for your own and the forum's, at large, benefit. I have no experience with texting girls from online apps but have with girls met via daygame and that's what you've intended to do - bear in mind, you've got a sample of one, to see any emerging pattern you'd have to approach a 100 girls, text with a dozen or so to begin to get a feel. And please, do yourself a favour, if you'd like to improve quickly, google "Krauser text game clinic". Your're welcome.

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06-14-2018 05:51 AM
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RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
Actually, I decided to post it in here. You wrote that you…

Met her at an airport shop in Switzerland. Bought something from her/shop. Polish, 28, divorced, mother of a kid, a 5'9 or 5'10" stunner, decently smart, super body and easily a 9 or 9.5. I banter and come across as a man completely in control. Get her number and I say that if I am late to my friend's vineyard, she will get me a drink. She agrees. Of course it was all banter, but I thought why not make the drink happen.”

It seems you’re really interested in improving your text-game repertoire, the screenshots provide full exchange and it followed from the approach I’m the fondest of – daygame. More specifically, airport game. Let’s get started.

First off, you seem a bit too excited by banging about how she’s a 9 or 9.5 and a stunner. We got it – you want to bang her. We got it - you approach only top-shelf catwalk-caliber girls. Mind you, I don’t question that, it’s rather the attitude of putting a girl on a pedestal from the get-go (and a single mother, lemme think…). This doesn’t help. Below, there’s a breakdown with numbers matching the messages' numbers in your screenshots. Make yourself green tea or cup of coffee, sit down in a chair, and relax for you won’t find it pretty.


   


1.
Excellent, non-needy, light-hearted feeler with a crisp of in-set self-referencing banter. Great Start.

2.
Pointless. This was not a moment for the “window on my world” picture ping. You sent a feeler, you should’ve sat on it. The immediate follow up with asking about the dog without her still acknowledging your existence – mildly retarded. It makes you look too keen.

3.
This is a DLV. You didn’t believe you were memorable enough (trust me – if you did your approach just right, she’d remember, regardless of giving you her digits or not. And she did, so you were vividly engraved onto her hippocampal brain module). It subtly communicates “I was so insignificant, she must have so many suitors and probably forgot about me, I’d better max out the effort to get a chance with such a stunner, I’ll remind myself in her mind.” Beginner’s mistake. As I mentioned above, you should’ve stopped at 1. and waited out for her to reply to your message. You had a frame, but you voluntarily began to kick at it and began to cede control of the interaction.

4.
She replied just 13 minutes later. This looked like (despite your weak overall open) a strong lead. A girl replying so soon suggests a Yes or strong Maybe girl. A flurry of messages in a row from a start – probably a texter (a girl who likes to banter over messages, it has risks on its own). Her "saw the pic in email you sent" is a girl's good game and acknowledgement to pass the ball forward. The best thing was to acknowledge, then snip and stack.

5.
First sentence you dish out approval, ballsy – this is high value man who passes judgment easily onto other people. Good stuff. But just the next sentence makes you look smug and try-hard. You counter-balance it with an emoji but there was no need to point out how special you were. Let her judge? The thing about the dog was a self-derailment. It didn’t take you one step forward to the date city. It’s not active, leading, and forward stack.

6.
Yup, she’s a texter. You need to be careful with girl texting a lot of bullshit – it’s often a move to snatch the frame ever so subtly but still.

7.
Best way was to acknowledge (just “thumb up” emoji would be enough), then snip and stack forward. Instead, you entered the bog of talking about her dog and a kid – you were supposed to lead her towards 50 Shades of Grey experience, not dragging out mundanity of her daily hum-drum life.

8.
You were supposed to bang a single mum, not play her doctor! It smells of cheap provider game – “I have to show I’m a good man to her, with a keen interest in her, I hope she likes me”. No need for that, she wanted a Christian Gray, not Homer Simpson experience.


   


9.
She snatched the frame and took control – by dictating the pace, direction, and you just happily followed, instead of leading. Remember, man is active, woman reactive. This was the moment to pull on the leash hard and redirect back to the date city to stop her derailing the chat.

10.
This is garbage. Road to perdition, not a date city. And way too much.

11.
I’m sorry to tell you (well, not really sorry) but sending pictures of yourself unprompted and without context is just faggotry. And four of them? Faggotry with a square pocket neatly folded, and shoved up your ass.

12.
Still about dogs? Her pussy must’ve been by then as dry as a sub-Saharan desert.

13.
More garbage. She probably hasn’t had sex for a long time or just loves texting for the sake of it. You were edging to the precipice of booting yourself out of possibility of scoring with this stunner, yet it is still seemed on. Fascinating in its own right.

   

14.
First attempt at text game. This should have been your FIRST message after she acknowledged the feeler. The first sentence is bad, though – you try to neutralise yourself and effectively cut your balls off – why are you trying to undermine you’re a player and want to have sex with her? Don’t hide your dick, don’t be like majority of men. The following Barnum statement, ironically, was excellent – things like “you seem different” are to women like a catnip to a frolicking pussycat. But WHY did it come so late?

15.
You’ve already entered purgatory but this was an attempt to have a sneaky peek at the hell. More inane ping-pong to nowhere, surely not to the abodes of Gods of Sex & Pleasure. Do I need to restate this was garbage?

16.
This is self-immolation by then, notice time-stamps – 11.17pm-11.33pm. Plus compound texting. You’ve willingly opened the door of hell and basking in the full glow of the furnace. What your messaging sub-communicates is “I have nothing else to do tonight and I’m getting no sex so I’ll just keep on hammering inane text messages, one after the other, after all shooting in the dark isn’t so bad”.

This is so wrong. What is this thing “Would love to hear your story.” All about? Are you trying to be her priest and psychiatrist at the same time? You could’ve been on a date with her by now, making out and planning a bounce back to your hotel for a nice late night romp (from what I’ve understood, you both stayed at the same city for two nights?), instead what you got was… a dick in your hand.

17.
A very poor attempt at the window on my world ping. Is that a guy you’d like to be? Why the fuck are you sending her a picture of some other man? What is this supposed to achieve? Then yet more garbage.

18.
Yet more garbage. Perhaps you should start a waste disposal company?

19.
Miraculously, she replied. It was a matter-of-factly, terse and noticeably giving you nothing to play with reply. A girl that was an outpouring dam in the beginning and hopeful for a romantic fling, had no option but turn herself into a closed clam. For you.

20.
This is so vague attempt at a date request, you should just self-face-palm. At the very least, it should have been your third or fourth message, instead of all this verbal diarrhoea. The picture of the case of wine is a pretentious and try-hard attempt at self-importance. She must have been thinking by now you were an utter snob and a prick, although of a polite kind, presumably.


   


21.
You’re an idiot.

22.
A pitiful attempt at Pretentious-Snob-Connoisseur text game and yet even more garbage. Why on earth did you think she’d care about your fine 6 bottles of red and the fact you could take only 4 to Oslo? Were you her grannie you wanted to see the dog? Now you just literally, willingly, crawled into the furnace and burnt into ashes at your own request. Is this a pure comedy by now or a Circus du Soleil performers after a full bottle of Vin d’Alsace each? Can’t decide.

23.
She actually was a very polite woman who kindly rejected your “date request”. Most would’ve just block you by now. I certainly would. I think you had your chance to bang your Polish stunner. For whatever reason it seems you’ve made a great impression on the approach. It was yours to lose and you did just fuck it up spectacularly with your texting (surely, not text-game).

Grade – fail.

I know my text-clinic sounds very harsh but you’ve entered the den where men will rip you apart for your mistakes (certainly, I feel no pity towards you, and you’ve explicitly asked for feedback.). On the bright side, next time you’ll at least know what NOT to do. If this can be a consolation of sorts, many years ago a very pretty young actress was handing herself to me on a silver platter but I knew it better – I was too cool to show interest, too afraid of rejection, too sophisticated and had no balls to make a move. My texts were just as bad as yours, it was unadulterated garbage. Of course, I didn’t get to fuck her. Now I can watch her on a stage at a major national theatre and muse what could have been. Oh, well, we all live and learn, don’t we? Game is hard. I hope this helps. Next time you'll do better.

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(This post was last modified: 06-14-2018 09:55 AM by ksbms.)
06-14-2018 08:56 AM
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RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
^ Well done

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06-14-2018 02:36 PM
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RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
+1 from me ksbms solid analysis

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(This post was last modified: 06-14-2018 03:22 PM by kaotic.)
06-14-2018 03:21 PM
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Post: #11
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
Texting is for setting up dates and short replies. Not for full length conversations with pictures.

Why would a 40 year old man deal with women that are close to him in age?

Those women could smell the desperation and neediness on you, it probably shows in your face.

Girl 1 - declines your invitation for a drink and tells you not to raise expectations. After that reply you should have given her radio silence, no contact whatsoever. Forget the hiking and nature walk, drink at your place or the closest bar to your place.
This girl opened you on tinder.

Girl 2 - Polish lawyer girl comes to your place for drinks. A girl that you don't know coming to your place for drinks, think about that for a second. Why wouldn't you do a full court press? Forget the kissing, get the clothes off.

Girl 3 - The only thing that jumps out about this woman, is that she is a single mom with a kid.
Why the fuck would you ask her to buy you a drink? She works in a retail store and has a kid to support. Also, what would a Polish 9 being working in a retail store in Switzerland?
Find out who looks after the kid when is at work and if she is has any free time over the weekend. The chances of you getting anything from her would be slim in my opinion. Unless of course, she hasn't had in a long time.

If Tinder isn't working, then don't use it. That will not help your confidence, which you lack.

Try a sugar daddy site like the one mentioned on this forum. Much younger girls and better looking, go on dates and get them to your place. Without dropping stupid money of course.
I avoid dating single mothers at all cost, yeah I have in the past but never really felt good about doing it.

You come across as to nice, which I bet you are.

Forget about being a gentleman and all that nonsense.

I would go to heartsite, Citizen Renegade and read some of the game material.

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(This post was last modified: 06-14-2018 08:59 PM by rudebwoy.)
06-14-2018 08:55 PM
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Post: #12
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
What's up Whever,

Sorry to hear of your misfortunes.

Texting problems aren't the main issue, they're just a surface level problem

I personally have NEVER had luck with any dating apps so am the last person to give advice in that apartment but I have also pulled girls who had THOUSANDS OF Tinder followers/fans (whatever you call it) by doing good ol fashioned approaches in public AND TELLING THEM RIGHT AWAY that I am ATTRACTED to them. The exact words don't matter as I've used them all (cute, sexy, beautiful, pretty) What has been most important is my energy.

I bring this up because by taking this strategy, you'll DRAMATICALLY reduce any texting challenges as you're able to screen out girls right away who are okay with you taking the interaction further vs ones who are just not feeling it. Additionally, if you say you are confident, this should not be a problem. If you meet on a dating app, it's much harder to convey your confidence since there's a ton of other sausages just a swipe away.

YOU LACK DIFFERENTIATION

Yes, I know you can put cool pics of you doing shit and even ones with other hot girls, but it ain't as special as meeting in person.

SERENDIPITY

Now, one more important point to keep in mind and you've got to be BRUTALLY HONEST with yourself.

What is your personality type?

Are you a dominant, aggressive or at least energetic person or a more reserved, shy person who likes to go with the flow? Or rather, who do YOU WANT TO BE? Ain't nothing wrong with either

I ask this because two of my best friends are in long term relationships with girls they met on Tinder. But they're also very very (I'm trying hard NOT to use the word beta, because I hate pscyho-analytical labels when it's more complex than that) but let's just say they aren't the most outgoing dudes. And it just so happens that the girls they're with tend to be more dominant so it works out for them. Everybody is happy and that's cool. My gal is totally feminine and I know for a fact that both her and several of my ex-gfs who are totally feminine would NEVER use a dating app since it's sorta beneath them (they have enough sausages in their orbit)

Also, before I forget, hard truth is for guys who are not naturally good looking (myself included), you don't even have an option as at least in the example of my buddies, they're both good looking (no homo) whereas if you want to be a feminine, laid back dude but you ain't a stunner, it's either man up or stock up on kleenex for the rest of your life.

So I would argue that if you feel happier being a masculine, aggressive (in a good way) man who likes feminine women, Tinder should only be one of your sales funnels, not your primary.

Sorry, gave you a roundabout answer but sometimes you've got to know when your business model isn't feasible and restructure it all to achieve your desired success.


Peace brother!
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(06-13-2018 05:17 PM)whever Wrote:  Hi all, since I moved from the paradise of SE Asia to Norway, things have been dry. Finally, I got some movement. 3 chicks in three weeks, and came up short on all three. I suspect other factors too, but a lot of is to do with texting.

As context, I am 5'5", 40, fit, dress decently, with lot of confidence, good posture and tend to lead. Intellectually driven, so don't play the badass game. Plus in Norway, I am very short, so can't really play that game anyway.

1. A girl from Eastern Europe matched on Tinder. 1 of only 3 matches in 3 weeks, and the only one who engaged. 35, fit body, 5'7", part time yoga teacher, I would say 6 or 7. We planned to meet, were texting a bit, but then ended up meeting unplanned at a hike anyway. I whisked her away for a "walk" to get to know each other but didn't escalate. At the end of the day, we said goodbyes, and I gave her the European cheek kiss and just said "have a good one" trying to be vague and not needy.

Three days later, I suggest a drink, and she very politely declines and also tells me that she doesn't want to raise expectations. We have since exchanged a couple of texts, but it is of course dead.

2. A polish lawyer chic. Met on Happn. One of the 5 matches. 5'6", thin, sassy type. I banter, we seem to get along well, and set up a time. Then I move it by a couple of days due to a genuine reason, and then invite her to my place. She comes. And we kiss a couple of times. Not the make out type kiss, but just kiss. She leaves and messages me goodnight etc. And then we do a couple more messages before it dies too.

3. The most interesting one. Met her at an airport shop in Switzerland. Bought something from her/shop. Polish, 28, divorced, mother of a kid, a 5'9 or 5'10" stunner, decently smart, super body and easily a 9 or 9.5. I banter and come across as a man completely in control. Get her number and I say that if I am late to my friend's vineyard, she will get me a drink. She agrees. Of course it was all banter, but I thought why not make the drink happen.

I was there only for the weekend, so had to take some chances. And took chances I did. Texting was going well before I asked a serious question, and she totally became silent after that. As if I had dropped a bomb.

I have screenshots of the last two chats. Sharing them in good faith for the next 8 hours. I don't know a better way to share 30 screenshots, so using google drive. Please let me know if it is not the preferred way around here.

Here is the folder for the chat with the lawyer chic from Happn: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1BiZ0TF...-p0mrwd-wf

Here is the folder for the chat with the stunner from the airport: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1E_pkMD...TqY6ggIf3X


Any feedback is welcome. I am willing to learn, so be critical. Any other point - also, please raise.

Thanks in advance.

To learn the MOST important secret that helped me improve my succes with women, visit my website at http://www.uwingman.com Peace out
06-14-2018 11:48 PM
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Post: #13
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
Hey all, thank you so much for your critiques and suggestions. I needed this. Will think more about them, but just wanted to say a heartfelt thank you.

Just repped you, ksbms.
06-15-2018 01:08 AM
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Post: #14
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
I just glanced at some of those texts, that is some painful reading.

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06-16-2018 09:31 AM
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Post: #15
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
Went through all the texts and feedback again, and swear to not text like that again. Not my proudest moment.

(06-13-2018 05:37 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Keep the texts limited, respond sparingly, unless you're planning for an immediate meet up.
Your texts come off as needy man, you have to dial back the sarcasm, and the "miss X".
You also come of as over enthusiastic as well.

(06-13-2018 06:32 PM)Avadhuta Wrote:  It seems to be like texting is a symptom of your issues rather than the problem itself. You don't seem to have any frame. So I'd start with that if I were you.

Noted and agreed. Two buddies who pulled a lot in SEAsia and 3 of my plates back in 2013-15 said multiple times that my texts were too logistical, and sometimes it was off-putting. This was when I was pulling good, and since then have gone through a divorce, and a long bout of loneliness after moving to Norway. Which has impacted my frame - basically from IDGAF to I need company/friends/women frame. No, this is not an excuse for the texts shitshow, but just a fact.

(06-14-2018 05:43 AM)ksbms Wrote:  I disagree, with Robreke, in this regard - there's much that can be done over texting, however I agree with this strategy for when either you're a relatively new at text game or have no idea how to proceed - then, just pushing straightforwardly to the date city is most likely the best course of action.
Bingo. I have read some of WIA posts and the texts of a couple of big hitters of p***y, and the way they text pulls the woman in their frame. Logistics-only texts can come off as arrogant/non-interesting/too aloof which is offputting. And the way I texted last week would repel most women.

Thank you so much again for the breakdown. Much appreciated and a lot to learn.

(06-14-2018 08:55 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  Girl 1 - declines your invitation for a drink and tells you not to raise expectations. After that reply you should have given her radio silence, no contact whatsoever.

Girl 2 - Polish lawyer girl comes to your place for drinks. A girl that you don't know coming to your place for drinks, think about that for a second. Why wouldn't you do a full court press? Forget the kissing, get the clothes off.

Ok, some context.
Girl 1: I didn't press any after that text. I basically said not a big deal. The hike happened coincidentally, and that text was after the hike - where I isolated her for 15 mins, not before.
Girl 2: we found out during the dinner at mine that we work in the same building, just one floor from each other. I changed the conversation immediately, and kept on touching her, moving her around, ordering her around etc... but it was tough to push as much as I wanted after that. And as we met through happn, which was showing we crossed paths like 30 times, it was impossible to not get that question asked and not having to answer.

Yes, generally nice guy, but can dial up asshole game if conscious about it, like the airport chick in face-to-face. I have also found that usually high energy, world traveler, businessman kind of game suits my style and I tend to do way better face-to-face than in texting, which as you can see, sucks.

(06-14-2018 11:48 PM)Ultimate Wingman Wrote:  What is your personality type?
High energy, aggressive/go-getter, kinda smooth businessman type. But due to divorce and lack of friends in a new country (Norway is extremely tough to break into), my frame and game style has been impacted significantly. Gotta get back to my 2013-15 game which I have all but forgotten. Text game was never my strong point to start with but now I have handicaps of a short, dark skinned, over 40, single father in a country of good looking men. Even Roosh mentioned that he found it extremely difficult to pull in Norway.

Now:
The happn lawyer chick replied three days ago to my text asking her when she is treating me to dinner.
Me: "Haha. So when are you treating me to dinner? I am free a couple of days next week"
She, next day, which is now 4 days ago: "Rofl Wink I think you made the threshold too high".
What should I reply that takes the frame back and moves in the right direction?

Ditto with the airport chick. I was there for only two days, about 300 km away from that airport, and the day after my starting was the only time to try to pull it. It is likely that I may travel again in two months. It seems a lost cause, but I want to keep the option open. What should I text to snatch the frame, if at all? Or should I just call when in that country. Or blind show up at the store. As some of you rightly pointed out, she was very interested before I royally fucked it up.

Thanks again guys. This has been very very helpful.
06-17-2018 06:37 PM
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Post: #16
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
(06-17-2018 06:37 PM)whever Wrote:  Now:
The happn lawyer chick replied three days ago to my text asking her when she is treating me to dinner.
Me: "Haha. So when are you treating me to dinner? I am free a couple of days next week"
She, next day, which is now 4 days ago: "Rofl Wink I think you made the threshold too high".
What should I reply that takes the frame back and moves in the right direction?

Me: "Haha. So when are you treating me to dinner? I am free a couple of days next week"
Her: "Rofl Wink I think you made the threshold too high".

Definitely do not backtrack, go logical or argumentative with that, that's a fast-track for a dry pussy-dock trap.

Why not try a Heartiste's non-sequitur game, aka "I'm the coolest mothefucka, don't care, don't follow the rules". No need to always be a rational man, to the contrary - a man with wit and humour can wet the wet spot well too. I'd go with this:

Her: "Rofl Wink I think you made the threshold too high".
Me: "This may help you..."

[Image: High-Threshold-Strategy.png]

OR

[Image: high-threshold-logic-htl-n.jpg]

OR some other equivocative-prevaricative-tongue-in-cheek option.

She'll probably reply something, I'd acknowledge he reply briefly, then snip and stack forward back on track to the date city with setting up drinks.

Then bang.

P.S.

Skip the dinner.

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(This post was last modified: 06-17-2018 07:34 PM by ksbms.)
06-17-2018 07:26 PM
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Post: #17
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
Roosh generously posted his text guide publicly, very very useful information.

http://www.bangpickupguide.com/misc/text...rooshv.pdf

Good luck in the future
06-19-2018 10:15 AM
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Post: #18
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
Hi slayers, working on my texting skills. Here is another case. I think I have done much much better overall except for a tiny mistake or two.

Question is how to handle now on. I know it is going to be tough, so want to be fully prepared.

Context: from Happn. 8+. 30 yr old. Matched a week ago. I waited for a few hours and sent the first message. Messages below. Most of the times she has replied within an hour except twice.

Me [7 days ago]: Hola [her name]. Something tells me that you don't have a dog but if you had, that'll be the ad you'll put
How's summer break treating you so far?

She [an hour later]: You’re right ? 10 points! Summer treats me perfectly how about you?

Me [almost 3 hours later]: Haha, usually I am the one giving out points, love this game, so 5 points to Ravenclaw!
What's your favorite dog? I love most dogs, and the favorite is golden retriever.
Summer is great. Looking fwd to holidays soon. When are you taking off?

She [instantaneous]: I never wait for the points be given! I just don’t care what fans think of me?✌?
Love golden retriever myself as well as the other ones! I love them all I guess.
Summer is perfect and I’m on vacation already-coming back on Tuesday ?

Me[10 mins later]: A girl with IDGAF attitude - 5 points ?. Are you somewhere fun/exotic?
Yes I'll totally have a dog or maybe two but for my travels.

She [an hour later, evening]: Ibiza here Wink

Me [few hours later]: Crowded non exotic then Wink

Me [2 days after]: Are you alive? ?

She [instantaneous]: Alive! Preparing for the flight which is tonightSmile how are u?

Me[instantaneous]: Are you taking a night flight for 4 hours? Oh my. Take few drinks and some pills
Am good. Cooked/hosted a big dinner at my place over the weekend and now catching up on stuff. Do you cook?

She [instantaneous]: Yeah, night flight here. I slept til noon today so I’m fineSmile
And no, I don’t cook and if I have to I hate doing this

Me [a day later]: Ah ! So who will cook for me for the three days that we will date before you're my ex? ?
Well you seem cool do you want to grab a drink sometime and chat some more?

She [an hour or less]: I do seem cool? I’m fucking awesome! Lol
Would be nice to meet you for a chat!

Me [three or four hours later]: Someone is really in love with herself! Lol
Ok, when is good for you? I can do this weekend or next Wed/Thu
What's your tlf number? Easier that way

She [couple of hours after]: Xyxyxyxy
Now u have it

Then we move to text message.

Me[next day after the happn messages finished]: Hello troublemaker [her name]. This is happening [my name]. How's your day after Ibiza parties?

She [few mins later]: Hi you! And how come that I'm a troublemaker? Hold on, you haven't met me yet!
Days after Ibiza parties are really tough! How your week going so far?

Me[several hours later]: Lol. It takes one to know one! My week is excellent. Lot of fun stuff. And in world cup Brazil is out but France is there. Allez les bleus !
Let's grab a drink or two. When is good?

She [next day, which is today]: Hi there! Sorry for the late reply, I was busy a bit and totally forgot to answer you! Not sure if I'll have time today for a drink and already have some plans for the weekend so maybe let's catch up next week at some time?


Now couple of questions:
1. How to text further and set up the date without sounding it too eager
2. What to keep in mind when on the date. She has attitude as you can see from the texts, and I have seen her pics and instagram and can confirm the attitude.

Cheers.

PS: My DMs are open in case you want more info or have some specific tactic.
07-13-2018 11:20 AM
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Post: #19
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
(06-17-2018 07:26 PM)ksbms Wrote:  Her: "Rofl Wink I think you made the threshold too high".
Me: "This may help you..."

[Image: High-Threshold-Strategy.png]

OR

[Image: high-threshold-logic-htl-n.jpg]

OR some other equivocative-prevaricative-tongue-in-cheek option.

She'll probably reply something, I'd acknowledge he reply briefly, then snip and stack forward back on track to the date city with setting up drinks.

Then bang.

P.S.

Skip the dinner.

Thanks again kbsms. I sent something similar - a spotify song, she didn't reply. We saw each other at office complex, said hi's. Then I messaged once more, some crappy reply. Then I gave up. She still enthusiastically said hi yesterday. Basically playing lawyer bitch game.
07-13-2018 11:22 AM
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Post: #20
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
What's with dudes and trying to build comfort over text? Texting should be logistic based, used to get her to the place you are at, and then you do everything in person. You don't learn about a girl over the phone. You don't become her "texting buddy".

If a girl tries to get to know more about me via text, I move on. The likelihood she is looking for a texting buddy is very high, and in 2018, she already has 100 of those. I made the mistake getting deep with girls back in the day over text. I just became texting buddy #16. Nah son, fuck that noise.

You should be way too busy to even look at your phone. Your phone should be used to ink deals, set dates, and get yourself out of sticky situations. Nothing more. Get yourself a flip phone so you stop texting so much.

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07-13-2018 11:51 AM
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Post: #21
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
(07-13-2018 11:51 AM)TheFinalEpic Wrote:  What's with dudes and trying to build comfort over text? Texting should be logistic based, used to get her to the place you are at, and then you do everything in person. You don't learn about a girl over the phone. You don't become her "texting buddy".

If a girl tries to get to know more about me via text, I move on. The likelihood she is looking for a texting buddy is very high, and in 2018, she already has 100 of those. I made the mistake getting deep with girls back in the day over text. I just became texting buddy #16. Nah son, fuck that noise.

You should be way too busy to even look at your phone. Your phone should be used to ink deals, set dates, and get yourself out of sticky situations. Nothing more. Get yourself a flip phone so you stop texting so much.

Thanks TheFinalEpic. I respectfully disagree. I have tried the path of no comfort only logistics texts, and that did not get me ahead. The issue is that she has 10s of the guys off the app, what differentiates me if all I talk is logistics? It often comes across as robotic/desperate. Perhaps I am missing something / in wrong place / etc.

OTOH, texting too much doesn't work either. Need to find the right medium.
07-13-2018 12:17 PM
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Post: #22
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
(07-13-2018 12:17 PM)whever Wrote:  
(07-13-2018 11:51 AM)TheFinalEpic Wrote:  What's with dudes and trying to build comfort over text? Texting should be logistic based, used to get her to the place you are at, and then you do everything in person. You don't learn about a girl over the phone. You don't become her "texting buddy".

If a girl tries to get to know more about me via text, I move on. The likelihood she is looking for a texting buddy is very high, and in 2018, she already has 100 of those. I made the mistake getting deep with girls back in the day over text. I just became texting buddy #16. Nah son, fuck that noise.

You should be way too busy to even look at your phone. Your phone should be used to ink deals, set dates, and get yourself out of sticky situations. Nothing more. Get yourself a flip phone so you stop texting so much.

Thanks TheFinalEpic. I respectfully disagree. I have tried the path of no comfort only logistics texts, and that did not get me ahead. The issue is that she has 10s of the guys off the app, what differentiates me if all I talk is logistics? It often comes across as robotic/desperate.

[...]

Whever is correct.

____________________

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Unbowed. Unbent. Unbroken.

I don’t ever give up. I mean, I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.
-- Elon Musk
(This post was last modified: 07-13-2018 03:01 PM by ksbms.)
07-13-2018 03:01 PM
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Post: #23
RE: This is killing me. Need help with Texting and perhaps more.
(07-13-2018 03:01 PM)ksbms Wrote:  
(07-13-2018 12:17 PM)whever Wrote:  Thanks TheFinalEpic. I respectfully disagree. I have tried the path of no comfort only logistics texts, and that did not get me ahead. The issue is that she has 10s of the guys off the app, what differentiates me if all I talk is logistics? It often comes across as robotic/desperate.

[...]

Whever is correct.

Hi ksbms, thanks.

Ksbms, others - any comments on how to take the text fwd with that girl? And what to be careful of when meeting.

Also, the lawyer chick answered to my asking her if she was alive and when is taking me out to drinks as she cannot cook. She says "tongue emoji. Shall we have coffee at work instead".

I am thinking of replying after a week: "thanks for a delightful offer, but I have to decline" or "lol. are we kids or what" or "do they have cuddling beds at the kafe?"

What will you choose? Any other option. I am not willing to go nuke as small world and we have run into each other thrice in the past three weeks.
07-16-2018 11:51 AM
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