Read The Forum Rules: We have a clear set of rules to keep the forum running smoothly. Click here to review them.

Post Reply 
How the fuck do you get your life together again?
Author Message
Realbor Offline
Game Denialist

Posts: 66
Joined: Dec 2016
Reputation: 1
Post: #51
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(07-10-2018 02:30 PM)jamaicabound Wrote:  I was about 29 around the time I finally slowly started getting my life together. I was living at home with my folks, was unemployed and between jobs, really had no passions, no direction, etc.

Here's one thing to keep in mind, very few if any of your friends have it figured out or feel confident in what they are doing, everyone feels clueless, even those a bit ahead of you in life.

I was basically where you are at your same age and fast forward about 5 years and I have a business doing over 3 million per year in sales, bought a new house, and overall thigns are going pretty good. Not saying you have to wait 5 years either, things slowly over time started improving and kept getting better.

here's the tough part. Right now you feel like shit and therefore probably don't wanna do shit, you don't feel confident, your waiting for the motivation. You can't wait for motivation to feel inspired, you have to get out there and start doing shit even though you dont want to and that's where the motivation will start to happen.

The sooner you start doing stuff slowly your life will start improving, things will start getting better, you'll feel more motivated and self confident, etc.

I would think about things in terms of health ie physical and mental, friends and family or relationships, career and finance. Do something small each day to improve in each of those areas and occasionally grade yourself and see if one area is suffering.

Set a small achievable goal whether it be 30 minutes at the gym, a set of calastetics, start a youtube channel or blog, make plans with a friend or join a meetup group, etc.

Very thankful for this post. Yes, thats absolutely correct, things feel like shit and I dont even know where to start. I know that Im gon move in a little less than 2 months, I have apartment in the new town fixed and all that.

I workout alot, 5 times a week, also lots of cardio, so thats taken care of.


I hate the feeling coming home to an empty quiet apartment every day after work, literally no one who talk with, feel very lonely and miserable, that is probably the key thing which is fucking up my overall self esteem and drive to do anything at all, thoughts like: "whats even the point?" come frequently.

Watching some of the dudes I grew up with on facebook .. holy shit, one bought a house, a very nice car, got a baby on the way, large social circle, friends everywhere.

The differences between life quality of people is just insane. Imagine having friends who talk with you all day, cheer you on, positive reinforcement, just as I had 10 years ago, life gets much more colorful.

Rambling again, but yeah, thanks alot for your post, It gives me a little bit of hope atleast.
07-10-2018 02:41 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Logos Offline
Banned

Posts: 68
Joined: May 2018
Post: #52
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
Do you excel in any sport? I always found basketball courts led to many friendships, wherever I was.
07-10-2018 03:54 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
jamaicabound Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 1,616
Joined: Feb 2014
Reputation: 20
Post: #53
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(07-10-2018 02:41 PM)Realbor Wrote:  
(07-10-2018 02:30 PM)jamaicabound Wrote:  I was about 29 around the time I finally slowly started getting my life together. I was living at home with my folks, was unemployed and between jobs, really had no passions, no direction, etc.

Here's one thing to keep in mind, very few if any of your friends have it figured out or feel confident in what they are doing, everyone feels clueless, even those a bit ahead of you in life.

I was basically where you are at your same age and fast forward about 5 years and I have a business doing over 3 million per year in sales, bought a new house, and overall thigns are going pretty good. Not saying you have to wait 5 years either, things slowly over time started improving and kept getting better.

here's the tough part. Right now you feel like shit and therefore probably don't wanna do shit, you don't feel confident, your waiting for the motivation. You can't wait for motivation to feel inspired, you have to get out there and start doing shit even though you dont want to and that's where the motivation will start to happen.

The sooner you start doing stuff slowly your life will start improving, things will start getting better, you'll feel more motivated and self confident, etc.

I would think about things in terms of health ie physical and mental, friends and family or relationships, career and finance. Do something small each day to improve in each of those areas and occasionally grade yourself and see if one area is suffering.

Set a small achievable goal whether it be 30 minutes at the gym, a set of calastetics, start a youtube channel or blog, make plans with a friend or join a meetup group, etc.

Very thankful for this post. Yes, thats absolutely correct, things feel like shit and I dont even know where to start. I know that Im gon move in a little less than 2 months, I have apartment in the new town fixed and all that.

I workout alot, 5 times a week, also lots of cardio, so thats taken care of.


I hate the feeling coming home to an empty quiet apartment every day after work, literally no one who talk with, feel very lonely and miserable, that is probably the key thing which is fucking up my overall self esteem and drive to do anything at all, thoughts like: "whats even the point?" come frequently.

Watching some of the dudes I grew up with on facebook .. holy shit, one bought a house, a very nice car, got a baby on the way, large social circle, friends everywhere.

The differences between life quality of people is just insane. Imagine having friends who talk with you all day, cheer you on, positive reinforcement, just as I had 10 years ago, life gets much more colorful.

Rambling again, but yeah, thanks alot for your post, It gives me a little bit of hope atleast.

Hey brother, you could be a lot worse off, your still working out which is awesome and means your not at total rock bottom. That's also going to make you happier, get the blood pumping and endorphins going and all that.

As far as the Facebook thing close your fucking facebook account today, I'm serious. Facebook is a huge reason so many people are depressed and unhappy with their lives. I know so many people who post stuff on Facebook like they live this amazing life and they are fucking miserable. I know a couple who's always posting about how in love they are, I know them, they fucking hate each other and the guy hates his life. Facebook is an illusion, people put the highlights of their life, few if any people are actually living those lives and even those who are have down moments like the rest of us but they don't show those on Facebook. Facebook is a cancer it really is, it makes you compare yourself to others lives which aren't even real and then feel shit about yourself because your not living that life. I know a guy who always posts his BMW on Facebook he's got an $800 car payment and the fucking car is gonna get repoed, its all bullshit man for real.

As far as comming home to an empty house, I'm in a relationship at the moment, well kinda sorta my gf literally packed up her stuff and pulled away about 5 minutes ago so we'll see. While I love her and we were great friends, in many ways its my fucking dream to come home to an empty house. I don't have to cook anyone dinner, I can go workout, work on my business, go to a bar, go on a date. I get being alone can be lonely but you also have all the freedom in the world. I'm guessing many of those facebook friends with families envy your life.

If you are lonely join a meetup group, there's meetups for everything. You like sailing go meetup with some guys who like sailing, you like crypto go to a crypto meetup. It's hard to make friends as you get older and you find that you either lose touch with or don't have a connection with older high school friends, a meetup its easy and comfortable to meet people because you both have something in common so conversation is easy and you have something you guys can do together as opposed to these really forced friendships that most of us have.

Couple other things just to change your mindset. Every night write down a couple things your grateful for and a couple things your looking forward to. Perspective is also improtant imho. This is kinda morbid but when your sad about comming home to your rented nice apartment with food in the fridge an xbox and whatever other stuff you have realize someone is digging through garbage for dinner, someone is being sold into the sex trade, someone in poverty is being sold into slavery in syria its hard to have a pity party when you think about that stuff.

It's easy to fall into self doubt and being kinda depressed and it's a vicious circle becaues you feel like shit so you do nothing and that makes you feel more like shit so you do even less and that cycle just continues. I find myself somewhat falling back into that even though I'm doing fairly well for myself but just gotta keep pressing forward and doing things and trying to control the thoughts in your head and focus on the positive and push away the negative
07-10-2018 06:03 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like jamaicabound's post:
TheFinalEpic, Beyond Borders
Realbor Offline
Game Denialist

Posts: 66
Joined: Dec 2016
Reputation: 1
Post: #54
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(07-10-2018 03:54 PM)Logos Wrote:  Do you excel in any sport? I always found basketball courts led to many friendships, wherever I was.

I used to be very good at soccer when younger, yes, but I cannot play that good no more due to an injury in the leg I got which makes it unable for me to run for 90 minutes.
07-11-2018 01:09 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
TheFinalEpic Offline
Alpha Male
****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,335
Joined: Apr 2014
Reputation: 21
Post: #55
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(07-10-2018 06:03 PM)jamaicabound Wrote:  
(07-10-2018 02:41 PM)Realbor Wrote:  
(07-10-2018 02:30 PM)jamaicabound Wrote:  I was about 29 around the time I finally slowly started getting my life together. I was living at home with my folks, was unemployed and between jobs, really had no passions, no direction, etc.

Here's one thing to keep in mind, very few if any of your friends have it figured out or feel confident in what they are doing, everyone feels clueless, even those a bit ahead of you in life.

I was basically where you are at your same age and fast forward about 5 years and I have a business doing over 3 million per year in sales, bought a new house, and overall thigns are going pretty good. Not saying you have to wait 5 years either, things slowly over time started improving and kept getting better.

here's the tough part. Right now you feel like shit and therefore probably don't wanna do shit, you don't feel confident, your waiting for the motivation. You can't wait for motivation to feel inspired, you have to get out there and start doing shit even though you dont want to and that's where the motivation will start to happen.

The sooner you start doing stuff slowly your life will start improving, things will start getting better, you'll feel more motivated and self confident, etc.

I would think about things in terms of health ie physical and mental, friends and family or relationships, career and finance. Do something small each day to improve in each of those areas and occasionally grade yourself and see if one area is suffering.

Set a small achievable goal whether it be 30 minutes at the gym, a set of calastetics, start a youtube channel or blog, make plans with a friend or join a meetup group, etc.

Very thankful for this post. Yes, thats absolutely correct, things feel like shit and I dont even know where to start. I know that Im gon move in a little less than 2 months, I have apartment in the new town fixed and all that.

I workout alot, 5 times a week, also lots of cardio, so thats taken care of.


I hate the feeling coming home to an empty quiet apartment every day after work, literally no one who talk with, feel very lonely and miserable, that is probably the key thing which is fucking up my overall self esteem and drive to do anything at all, thoughts like: "whats even the point?" come frequently.

Watching some of the dudes I grew up with on facebook .. holy shit, one bought a house, a very nice car, got a baby on the way, large social circle, friends everywhere.

The differences between life quality of people is just insane. Imagine having friends who talk with you all day, cheer you on, positive reinforcement, just as I had 10 years ago, life gets much more colorful.

Rambling again, but yeah, thanks alot for your post, It gives me a little bit of hope atleast.

Hey brother, you could be a lot worse off, your still working out which is awesome and means your not at total rock bottom. That's also going to make you happier, get the blood pumping and endorphins going and all that.

As far as the Facebook thing close your fucking facebook account today, I'm serious. Facebook is a huge reason so many people are depressed and unhappy with their lives. I know so many people who post stuff on Facebook like they live this amazing life and they are fucking miserable. I know a couple who's always posting about how in love they are, I know them, they fucking hate each other and the guy hates his life. Facebook is an illusion, people put the highlights of their life, few if any people are actually living those lives and even those who are have down moments like the rest of us but they don't show those on Facebook. Facebook is a cancer it really is, it makes you compare yourself to others lives which aren't even real and then feel shit about yourself because your not living that life. I know a guy who always posts his BMW on Facebook he's got an $800 car payment and the fucking car is gonna get repoed, its all bullshit man for real.

As far as comming home to an empty house, I'm in a relationship at the moment, well kinda sorta my gf literally packed up her stuff and pulled away about 5 minutes ago so we'll see. While I love her and we were great friends, in many ways its my fucking dream to come home to an empty house. I don't have to cook anyone dinner, I can go workout, work on my business, go to a bar, go on a date. I get being alone can be lonely but you also have all the freedom in the world. I'm guessing many of those facebook friends with families envy your life.

If you are lonely join a meetup group, there's meetups for everything. You like sailing go meetup with some guys who like sailing, you like crypto go to a crypto meetup. It's hard to make friends as you get older and you find that you either lose touch with or don't have a connection with older high school friends, a meetup its easy and comfortable to meet people because you both have something in common so conversation is easy and you have something you guys can do together as opposed to these really forced friendships that most of us have.

Couple other things just to change your mindset. Every night write down a couple things your grateful for and a couple things your looking forward to. Perspective is also improtant imho. This is kinda morbid but when your sad about comming home to your rented nice apartment with food in the fridge an xbox and whatever other stuff you have realize someone is digging through garbage for dinner, someone is being sold into the sex trade, someone in poverty is being sold into slavery in syria its hard to have a pity party when you think about that stuff.

It's easy to fall into self doubt and being kinda depressed and it's a vicious circle becaues you feel like shit so you do nothing and that makes you feel more like shit so you do even less and that cycle just continues. I find myself somewhat falling back into that even though I'm doing fairly well for myself but just gotta keep pressing forward and doing things and trying to control the thoughts in your head and focus on the positive and push away the negative

I don't know how I haven't given you a rep yet with insight like this Jamaica. +1

Facebook and social media will make you feel like you are a piece of shit, it is literally a disease on the human consciousness. Everyone will pick and choose their finest moments to share, and will make it seem that they are millionaires when 98% are living on borrowed time and credit. Delete it or use it to make money, there are no two ways about it.

I have fallen into spirals in the past in which I look at socials and dream about another life, when really the only thing that is standing in the way of me creating that life is hard work, and not wasting time on social media. Amazing.

You are in a good spot that you go to the gym consistently. Start going out on the town a couple nights a week, and meet people for the sake of meeting them and making friendships. If your depression looms from the fact that you are lonely, then this is the best remedy, that and joining meetup groups. But, as Jamaica points out above, learn to enjoy being alone, because at the end of the day, you really are alone.

I don't think you're too far gone, man. Quite the contrary. You can put a couple months of hard work in and you'll be miles ahead of those that you think you're behind.

It's all an illusion, you need to compete with the man you were yesterday. I often fall into this trap. You seem to be comparing yourself too much to other people, and that will only lead to depression. When you compare yourself to guys that are on chapter 100 and you're on chapter 2, you will forever feel inadequate. Compare yourself to the old you, and you will see how far you've come.

"Money over bitches, nigga stick to the script." - Jay-Z
They gonna love me for my ambition.
07-11-2018 08:01 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes TheFinalEpic's post:
Beyond Borders
Gmac Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 6,508
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 133
Post: #56
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(07-03-2018 04:04 PM)Realbor Wrote:  Im 29 now, no friends left, social circle basicly non existant, low quality shit job and It feels like its fucking over, for some reason.

Only positive thing is im going back to university in september, thats about it.

My life is fucking hell and days like these I just feel hopeless.

End of whine rant, but things are not looking good right now.

You just do it. The old Nike slogan works wonders. You want to be social? Be more social. Join a club. Get outside and talk to people. 99% of your problems are made up in your head - either a lack of motivation, tools, or experience. You have the tools to fix them. We've never had more knowledge (and community) at our fingertips. So fix the other two. With the internet available to everyone now there is simply no excuse for not knowing certain things. It's pure laziness.

One step in front of the other, and begin making positive changes to your life. Envision the person you want to become, and start living AS that person today. WRITE IT ALL DOWN!

Take up new hobbies, eliminate bad habits and processes. Develop new routines. Take walks. Go a different way to work. Road trips. Adventures by yourself, anything to take action and get outside is good. Put the phone and social media away. Become a positive person ALL the time by wanting to be happy and changing your way of thinking so you push those bad thoughts away. Remove the negativity from your life (including people). You can roll your eyes but I'm telling you it works.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't cheat yourself. And don't ever lie to yourself. That's what I did to pull myself out of the pit of despair. Everyone you've met that appears to have their act together was where you are. They also have doubts, fears, and their own issues. We're all works in progress. Those pictures you see (which you should ignore) of other people are what they choose to show the world. That's typically not their day to day. We all have problems. It's just what you choose to do when you face your existing (or new) problems that defines you. Do you fix the problem, or bury and ignore it? Procrastinate much? Fix that shit. Figure it out. Google man. Start every day with a few simple tasks that you must complete before you start your day. Make your bed. Brush your teeth. Read some real news. Sing in the shower. Whatever. Water some plants (go buy them first). You're now responsible for those plants.

But you also have to really really want it and be willing to suffer to improve. Life is painful. Life is suffering. Life is sacrifice. Physically, financially, socially, emotionally, spiritually. You're going to get knocked down. Taking risks, putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, straining your mental and physical self beyond your limits. Take action today, make lists, be better than you were yesterday, and 6 months from now you won't even recognize your old self.

I've died a thousand deaths, and I'm now the best version of myself (so far), living my best life. You can too. Do you want to die as you are now? If not you better get moving.

Good luck and watch/listen to these as often as you need to.










Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
(This post was last modified: 07-11-2018 09:04 PM by Gmac.)
07-11-2018 08:17 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like Gmac's post:
TheFinalEpic, d3traktion, Beyond Borders, Conquerer7
pants Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 656
Joined: Nov 2012
Reputation: 8
Post: #57
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
Fuckin hell man..

You are 29, and going to nursing school filled with 20+ norwegian girls.
You should feel pretty optimistic.

Wanna ask you where you are moving, but guy in nursing in 3rd tier city in Norway would make you easily doxxable.

if i could do it over again, i rather go chemical engineering. instead of mechanical engineering for the lack of women.
Btw we had plenty 30+ 40+ people in my class norwegian university. If you think 29+ is old, dont worry. Schools "free", norwegians not that scared taking on a different part all stages of life.

Important in university, don't skip out on the social activities the first few weeks, thats when you build connection. Even if you are not a drinker, join in on the first few weeks.
Norwegians get to know each other when they drink.

Could be hard to keep structure in your life while studying, easily to fall back in your trap of video games.
Sell your computer, buy a mac, something you cant even install the games you want to play on.

Join some type of sporting group. Even with an injury, there's gotta be plenty of things you can do.
07-12-2018 08:38 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Suits Offline
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 9,556
Joined: Feb 2013
Reputation: 237
Post: #58
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
I love commenting on threads where pants is also participating.

It's great to get a wardrobe together.

I'm the King of Beijing!
07-12-2018 08:46 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Suits's post:
pants
Post Reply 


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  Any advice on combining a career oriented life style with better social life style? YMD 13 8,900 11-20-2016 03:21 PM
Last Post: H1N1

Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | RooshV.com | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication