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How the fuck do you get your life together again?
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Realbor Offline
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Post: #51
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(07-10-2018 02:30 PM)jamaicabound Wrote:  I was about 29 around the time I finally slowly started getting my life together. I was living at home with my folks, was unemployed and between jobs, really had no passions, no direction, etc.

Here's one thing to keep in mind, very few if any of your friends have it figured out or feel confident in what they are doing, everyone feels clueless, even those a bit ahead of you in life.

I was basically where you are at your same age and fast forward about 5 years and I have a business doing over 3 million per year in sales, bought a new house, and overall thigns are going pretty good. Not saying you have to wait 5 years either, things slowly over time started improving and kept getting better.

here's the tough part. Right now you feel like shit and therefore probably don't wanna do shit, you don't feel confident, your waiting for the motivation. You can't wait for motivation to feel inspired, you have to get out there and start doing shit even though you dont want to and that's where the motivation will start to happen.

The sooner you start doing stuff slowly your life will start improving, things will start getting better, you'll feel more motivated and self confident, etc.

I would think about things in terms of health ie physical and mental, friends and family or relationships, career and finance. Do something small each day to improve in each of those areas and occasionally grade yourself and see if one area is suffering.

Set a small achievable goal whether it be 30 minutes at the gym, a set of calastetics, start a youtube channel or blog, make plans with a friend or join a meetup group, etc.

Very thankful for this post. Yes, thats absolutely correct, things feel like shit and I dont even know where to start. I know that Im gon move in a little less than 2 months, I have apartment in the new town fixed and all that.

I workout alot, 5 times a week, also lots of cardio, so thats taken care of.


I hate the feeling coming home to an empty quiet apartment every day after work, literally no one who talk with, feel very lonely and miserable, that is probably the key thing which is fucking up my overall self esteem and drive to do anything at all, thoughts like: "whats even the point?" come frequently.

Watching some of the dudes I grew up with on facebook .. holy shit, one bought a house, a very nice car, got a baby on the way, large social circle, friends everywhere.

The differences between life quality of people is just insane. Imagine having friends who talk with you all day, cheer you on, positive reinforcement, just as I had 10 years ago, life gets much more colorful.

Rambling again, but yeah, thanks alot for your post, It gives me a little bit of hope atleast.
07-10-2018 02:41 PM
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Logos Offline
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Post: #52
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
Do you excel in any sport? I always found basketball courts led to many friendships, wherever I was.
07-10-2018 03:54 PM
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jamaicabound Offline
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Post: #53
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(07-10-2018 02:41 PM)Realbor Wrote:  
(07-10-2018 02:30 PM)jamaicabound Wrote:  I was about 29 around the time I finally slowly started getting my life together. I was living at home with my folks, was unemployed and between jobs, really had no passions, no direction, etc.

Here's one thing to keep in mind, very few if any of your friends have it figured out or feel confident in what they are doing, everyone feels clueless, even those a bit ahead of you in life.

I was basically where you are at your same age and fast forward about 5 years and I have a business doing over 3 million per year in sales, bought a new house, and overall thigns are going pretty good. Not saying you have to wait 5 years either, things slowly over time started improving and kept getting better.

here's the tough part. Right now you feel like shit and therefore probably don't wanna do shit, you don't feel confident, your waiting for the motivation. You can't wait for motivation to feel inspired, you have to get out there and start doing shit even though you dont want to and that's where the motivation will start to happen.

The sooner you start doing stuff slowly your life will start improving, things will start getting better, you'll feel more motivated and self confident, etc.

I would think about things in terms of health ie physical and mental, friends and family or relationships, career and finance. Do something small each day to improve in each of those areas and occasionally grade yourself and see if one area is suffering.

Set a small achievable goal whether it be 30 minutes at the gym, a set of calastetics, start a youtube channel or blog, make plans with a friend or join a meetup group, etc.

Very thankful for this post. Yes, thats absolutely correct, things feel like shit and I dont even know where to start. I know that Im gon move in a little less than 2 months, I have apartment in the new town fixed and all that.

I workout alot, 5 times a week, also lots of cardio, so thats taken care of.


I hate the feeling coming home to an empty quiet apartment every day after work, literally no one who talk with, feel very lonely and miserable, that is probably the key thing which is fucking up my overall self esteem and drive to do anything at all, thoughts like: "whats even the point?" come frequently.

Watching some of the dudes I grew up with on facebook .. holy shit, one bought a house, a very nice car, got a baby on the way, large social circle, friends everywhere.

The differences between life quality of people is just insane. Imagine having friends who talk with you all day, cheer you on, positive reinforcement, just as I had 10 years ago, life gets much more colorful.

Rambling again, but yeah, thanks alot for your post, It gives me a little bit of hope atleast.

Hey brother, you could be a lot worse off, your still working out which is awesome and means your not at total rock bottom. That's also going to make you happier, get the blood pumping and endorphins going and all that.

As far as the Facebook thing close your fucking facebook account today, I'm serious. Facebook is a huge reason so many people are depressed and unhappy with their lives. I know so many people who post stuff on Facebook like they live this amazing life and they are fucking miserable. I know a couple who's always posting about how in love they are, I know them, they fucking hate each other and the guy hates his life. Facebook is an illusion, people put the highlights of their life, few if any people are actually living those lives and even those who are have down moments like the rest of us but they don't show those on Facebook. Facebook is a cancer it really is, it makes you compare yourself to others lives which aren't even real and then feel shit about yourself because your not living that life. I know a guy who always posts his BMW on Facebook he's got an $800 car payment and the fucking car is gonna get repoed, its all bullshit man for real.

As far as comming home to an empty house, I'm in a relationship at the moment, well kinda sorta my gf literally packed up her stuff and pulled away about 5 minutes ago so we'll see. While I love her and we were great friends, in many ways its my fucking dream to come home to an empty house. I don't have to cook anyone dinner, I can go workout, work on my business, go to a bar, go on a date. I get being alone can be lonely but you also have all the freedom in the world. I'm guessing many of those facebook friends with families envy your life.

If you are lonely join a meetup group, there's meetups for everything. You like sailing go meetup with some guys who like sailing, you like crypto go to a crypto meetup. It's hard to make friends as you get older and you find that you either lose touch with or don't have a connection with older high school friends, a meetup its easy and comfortable to meet people because you both have something in common so conversation is easy and you have something you guys can do together as opposed to these really forced friendships that most of us have.

Couple other things just to change your mindset. Every night write down a couple things your grateful for and a couple things your looking forward to. Perspective is also improtant imho. This is kinda morbid but when your sad about comming home to your rented nice apartment with food in the fridge an xbox and whatever other stuff you have realize someone is digging through garbage for dinner, someone is being sold into the sex trade, someone in poverty is being sold into slavery in syria its hard to have a pity party when you think about that stuff.

It's easy to fall into self doubt and being kinda depressed and it's a vicious circle becaues you feel like shit so you do nothing and that makes you feel more like shit so you do even less and that cycle just continues. I find myself somewhat falling back into that even though I'm doing fairly well for myself but just gotta keep pressing forward and doing things and trying to control the thoughts in your head and focus on the positive and push away the negative
07-10-2018 06:03 PM
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Realbor Offline
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Post: #54
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(07-10-2018 03:54 PM)Logos Wrote:  Do you excel in any sport? I always found basketball courts led to many friendships, wherever I was.

I used to be very good at soccer when younger, yes, but I cannot play that good no more due to an injury in the leg I got which makes it unable for me to run for 90 minutes.
07-11-2018 01:09 PM
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TheFinalEpic Offline
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Post: #55
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(07-10-2018 06:03 PM)jamaicabound Wrote:  
(07-10-2018 02:41 PM)Realbor Wrote:  
(07-10-2018 02:30 PM)jamaicabound Wrote:  I was about 29 around the time I finally slowly started getting my life together. I was living at home with my folks, was unemployed and between jobs, really had no passions, no direction, etc.

Here's one thing to keep in mind, very few if any of your friends have it figured out or feel confident in what they are doing, everyone feels clueless, even those a bit ahead of you in life.

I was basically where you are at your same age and fast forward about 5 years and I have a business doing over 3 million per year in sales, bought a new house, and overall thigns are going pretty good. Not saying you have to wait 5 years either, things slowly over time started improving and kept getting better.

here's the tough part. Right now you feel like shit and therefore probably don't wanna do shit, you don't feel confident, your waiting for the motivation. You can't wait for motivation to feel inspired, you have to get out there and start doing shit even though you dont want to and that's where the motivation will start to happen.

The sooner you start doing stuff slowly your life will start improving, things will start getting better, you'll feel more motivated and self confident, etc.

I would think about things in terms of health ie physical and mental, friends and family or relationships, career and finance. Do something small each day to improve in each of those areas and occasionally grade yourself and see if one area is suffering.

Set a small achievable goal whether it be 30 minutes at the gym, a set of calastetics, start a youtube channel or blog, make plans with a friend or join a meetup group, etc.

Very thankful for this post. Yes, thats absolutely correct, things feel like shit and I dont even know where to start. I know that Im gon move in a little less than 2 months, I have apartment in the new town fixed and all that.

I workout alot, 5 times a week, also lots of cardio, so thats taken care of.


I hate the feeling coming home to an empty quiet apartment every day after work, literally no one who talk with, feel very lonely and miserable, that is probably the key thing which is fucking up my overall self esteem and drive to do anything at all, thoughts like: "whats even the point?" come frequently.

Watching some of the dudes I grew up with on facebook .. holy shit, one bought a house, a very nice car, got a baby on the way, large social circle, friends everywhere.

The differences between life quality of people is just insane. Imagine having friends who talk with you all day, cheer you on, positive reinforcement, just as I had 10 years ago, life gets much more colorful.

Rambling again, but yeah, thanks alot for your post, It gives me a little bit of hope atleast.

Hey brother, you could be a lot worse off, your still working out which is awesome and means your not at total rock bottom. That's also going to make you happier, get the blood pumping and endorphins going and all that.

As far as the Facebook thing close your fucking facebook account today, I'm serious. Facebook is a huge reason so many people are depressed and unhappy with their lives. I know so many people who post stuff on Facebook like they live this amazing life and they are fucking miserable. I know a couple who's always posting about how in love they are, I know them, they fucking hate each other and the guy hates his life. Facebook is an illusion, people put the highlights of their life, few if any people are actually living those lives and even those who are have down moments like the rest of us but they don't show those on Facebook. Facebook is a cancer it really is, it makes you compare yourself to others lives which aren't even real and then feel shit about yourself because your not living that life. I know a guy who always posts his BMW on Facebook he's got an $800 car payment and the fucking car is gonna get repoed, its all bullshit man for real.

As far as comming home to an empty house, I'm in a relationship at the moment, well kinda sorta my gf literally packed up her stuff and pulled away about 5 minutes ago so we'll see. While I love her and we were great friends, in many ways its my fucking dream to come home to an empty house. I don't have to cook anyone dinner, I can go workout, work on my business, go to a bar, go on a date. I get being alone can be lonely but you also have all the freedom in the world. I'm guessing many of those facebook friends with families envy your life.

If you are lonely join a meetup group, there's meetups for everything. You like sailing go meetup with some guys who like sailing, you like crypto go to a crypto meetup. It's hard to make friends as you get older and you find that you either lose touch with or don't have a connection with older high school friends, a meetup its easy and comfortable to meet people because you both have something in common so conversation is easy and you have something you guys can do together as opposed to these really forced friendships that most of us have.

Couple other things just to change your mindset. Every night write down a couple things your grateful for and a couple things your looking forward to. Perspective is also improtant imho. This is kinda morbid but when your sad about comming home to your rented nice apartment with food in the fridge an xbox and whatever other stuff you have realize someone is digging through garbage for dinner, someone is being sold into the sex trade, someone in poverty is being sold into slavery in syria its hard to have a pity party when you think about that stuff.

It's easy to fall into self doubt and being kinda depressed and it's a vicious circle becaues you feel like shit so you do nothing and that makes you feel more like shit so you do even less and that cycle just continues. I find myself somewhat falling back into that even though I'm doing fairly well for myself but just gotta keep pressing forward and doing things and trying to control the thoughts in your head and focus on the positive and push away the negative

I don't know how I haven't given you a rep yet with insight like this Jamaica. +1

Facebook and social media will make you feel like you are a piece of shit, it is literally a disease on the human consciousness. Everyone will pick and choose their finest moments to share, and will make it seem that they are millionaires when 98% are living on borrowed time and credit. Delete it or use it to make money, there are no two ways about it.

I have fallen into spirals in the past in which I look at socials and dream about another life, when really the only thing that is standing in the way of me creating that life is hard work, and not wasting time on social media. Amazing.

You are in a good spot that you go to the gym consistently. Start going out on the town a couple nights a week, and meet people for the sake of meeting them and making friendships. If your depression looms from the fact that you are lonely, then this is the best remedy, that and joining meetup groups. But, as Jamaica points out above, learn to enjoy being alone, because at the end of the day, you really are alone.

I don't think you're too far gone, man. Quite the contrary. You can put a couple months of hard work in and you'll be miles ahead of those that you think you're behind.

It's all an illusion, you need to compete with the man you were yesterday. I often fall into this trap. You seem to be comparing yourself too much to other people, and that will only lead to depression. When you compare yourself to guys that are on chapter 100 and you're on chapter 2, you will forever feel inadequate. Compare yourself to the old you, and you will see how far you've come.

"Money over bitches, nigga stick to the script." - Jay-Z
They gonna love me for my ambition.
07-11-2018 08:01 PM
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Gmac Offline
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Post: #56
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(07-03-2018 04:04 PM)Realbor Wrote:  Im 29 now, no friends left, social circle basicly non existant, low quality shit job and It feels like its fucking over, for some reason.

Only positive thing is im going back to university in september, thats about it.

My life is fucking hell and days like these I just feel hopeless.

End of whine rant, but things are not looking good right now.

You just do it. The old Nike slogan works wonders. You want to be social? Be more social. Join a club. Get outside and talk to people. 99% of your problems are made up in your head - either a lack of motivation, tools, or experience. You have the tools to fix them. We've never had more knowledge (and community) at our fingertips. So fix the other two. With the internet available to everyone now there is simply no excuse for not knowing certain things. It's pure laziness.

One step in front of the other, and begin making positive changes to your life. Envision the person you want to become, and start living AS that person today. WRITE IT ALL DOWN!

Take up new hobbies, eliminate bad habits and processes. Develop new routines. Take walks. Go a different way to work. Road trips. Adventures by yourself, anything to take action and get outside is good. Put the phone and social media away. Become a positive person ALL the time by wanting to be happy and changing your way of thinking so you push those bad thoughts away. Remove the negativity from your life (including people). You can roll your eyes but I'm telling you it works.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't cheat yourself. And don't ever lie to yourself. That's what I did to pull myself out of the pit of despair. Everyone you've met that appears to have their act together was where you are. They also have doubts, fears, and their own issues. We're all works in progress. Those pictures you see (which you should ignore) of other people are what they choose to show the world. That's typically not their day to day. We all have problems. It's just what you choose to do when you face your existing (or new) problems that defines you. Do you fix the problem, or bury and ignore it? Procrastinate much? Fix that shit. Figure it out. Google man. Start every day with a few simple tasks that you must complete before you start your day. Make your bed. Brush your teeth. Read some real news. Sing in the shower. Whatever. Water some plants (go buy them first). You're now responsible for those plants.

But you also have to really really want it and be willing to suffer to improve. Life is painful. Life is suffering. Life is sacrifice. Physically, financially, socially, emotionally, spiritually. You're going to get knocked down. Taking risks, putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, straining your mental and physical self beyond your limits. Take action today, make lists, be better than you were yesterday, and 6 months from now you won't even recognize your old self.

I've died a thousand deaths, and I'm now the best version of myself (so far), living my best life. You can too. Do you want to die as you are now? If not you better get moving.

Good luck and watch/listen to these as often as you need to.










Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
(This post was last modified: 07-11-2018 09:04 PM by Gmac.)
07-11-2018 08:17 PM
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pants Offline
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Post: #57
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
Fuckin hell man..

You are 29, and going to nursing school filled with 20+ norwegian girls.
You should feel pretty optimistic.

Wanna ask you where you are moving, but guy in nursing in 3rd tier city in Norway would make you easily doxxable.

if i could do it over again, i rather go chemical engineering. instead of mechanical engineering for the lack of women.
Btw we had plenty 30+ 40+ people in my class norwegian university. If you think 29+ is old, dont worry. Schools "free", norwegians not that scared taking on a different part all stages of life.

Important in university, don't skip out on the social activities the first few weeks, thats when you build connection. Even if you are not a drinker, join in on the first few weeks.
Norwegians get to know each other when they drink.

Could be hard to keep structure in your life while studying, easily to fall back in your trap of video games.
Sell your computer, buy a mac, something you cant even install the games you want to play on.

Join some type of sporting group. Even with an injury, there's gotta be plenty of things you can do.
07-12-2018 08:38 AM
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Suits Offline
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Post: #58
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
I love commenting on threads where pants is also participating.

It's great to get a wardrobe together.

I'm the King of Beijing!
07-12-2018 08:46 AM
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Off The Reservation Offline
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Post: #59
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(07-12-2018 08:46 AM)Suits Wrote:  I love commenting on threads where pants is also participating.

It's great to get a wardrobe together.

Don't Suits already have pants?
Doesn't Suits already have pants?

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(This post was last modified: 08-03-2018 06:03 PM by Off The Reservation.)
08-03-2018 06:02 PM
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Post: #60
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(08-03-2018 06:02 PM)Off The Reservation Wrote:  
(07-12-2018 08:46 AM)Suits Wrote:  I love commenting on threads where pants is also participating.

It's great to get a wardrobe together.

Don't Suits already have pants?
Doesn't Suits already have pants?

Pants suit him.
08-03-2018 06:57 PM
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Post: #61
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
I think it was Rionomad that said Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is the best way to make friends.

You want to know the only thing you can assume about a broken down old man? It's that he's a survivor.
08-03-2018 07:23 PM
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Post: #62
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(08-03-2018 06:57 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  
(08-03-2018 06:02 PM)Off The Reservation Wrote:  
(07-12-2018 08:46 AM)Suits Wrote:  I love commenting on threads where pants is also participating.

It's great to get a wardrobe together.

Don't Suits already have pants?
Doesn't Suits already have pants?

Pants suit him.

Women love pants suits too!

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08-03-2018 08:35 PM
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lookslikeit Offline
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Post: #63
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
Everyone here is missing an important point: 3000 population. one store. one pizzeria. I'm sorry but you have close to 0 chance to do any socializing, find a girlfriend, find a ONS, find a male friend or anything like that.

3k is way too small for what i understood is an isolated village. The guy is screwed socially speaking. and I'm sorry i have no idea how to console yourself until you move from there. I dunno maybe meditation.

Don't listen to people here telling you to take an engineering path especially if you are not good in math or don't love computers. A anesthesia technician is a highly paid job and will enable you to make enough to be able to save for travels, your own place, stuff and retirement. You can also move to other places as the population in the developed world grows older, the need for medical assistant grows too.

tl;dr: Guy is kinda normal but trapped in a literal developed crap-hole. suggest to him how to console until he moves to his new location/life/university.
08-11-2018 03:13 AM
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Gorgonzola Offline
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Post: #64
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
Nothing wrong with RN gig. Actually ideal for traveling. One can pick up travel contracts anywhere from 3-6 months, have housing paid for, and just save cash. Then travel to wherever you want for a few months. Rinse. Repeat. There are so many nursing gigs that don’t require “ass wiping” and you can make over $100k within a few years working full time. You won’t become a CRNA until at least two years of ICU nursing. I know a lot about this topic. PM me if you have any specific questions. Happy to help.
10-15-2018 08:44 PM
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Gorgonzola Offline
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Post: #65
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
And don’t borrow a shit ton of cash for a BSN at university. Go to community college and get same license then get BSN online for a fraction of the cost while you work.
10-15-2018 08:47 PM
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Post: #66
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
OP is actually ahead of most people in NA. No mortgage sized student debt hanging over him. Basically lives a rich socialist country that lets you be a NEET.

I only turned my life around the age of 29-30. I wasted my entire 20s. I worked hard but there was no opportunities around me until I actually moved overseas and after a few years I was killing it.

Imo social circle is overrated when it comes to money. Most of the successful people I know have small ones and are in the top 5% of earners.

OP just try to calm down a bit. Taking a month or 2 to think about your path in life is time well spent. You are already on a corrective path by acknowledging your folly and trying to change your circumstances.
10-15-2018 09:47 PM
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Post: #67
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
One of the greatest things about being at the rock bottom is that things can only get better if you put in some effort.

Realize that you have one life to live and you can either do nothing with it or make it great.
10-15-2018 10:20 PM
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Post: #68
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
OP, it sounds like you're beating yourself up a lot. That's fine in moderation or as an impetus to move forward, but you need to keep it grounded in reality as well.

Read this thread and take it FUCKING SERIOUSLY: https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-28873.html

To give a little background, I work in a field that can be extremely mentally stressful and will absolutely CRUSH those that are not emotionally/mentally prepared. It is completely possible to go on tilt and destroy all that you've worked for within minutes. I am not exaggerating or being melodramatic when I say that I wouldn't wish some of the emotional swings & depression I've faced on my worst enemies (OK, maybe Hillary). Complete self-doubt & suicidal thoughts are extremely common. If prolonged, these take a massive toll on your health due to lack of quality sleep and loss of appetite. Just as your physical health can strongly impact your emotions & how you feel, your mental state can erode your physical health as well.

You're likely thinking some very dark thoughts right now, thinking that all hope is lost & facing massive regret at the years of your life that you wasted which you know you'll never get back. If only we made the right decisions years ago, we would be killing it now and our lives would look different. We would be enjoying the primes of our youth. We would be participating in life the way we wanted to, but now we're just sitting on the sidelines and watching. Is it even possible to correct our situations? Now that we are so old, is it even worth it? So much potential is already gone...

If you're thinking any of those things, you really need to read that thread. Please take it seriously and study it well. There is no need to rush through it, but instead try to think deeply and implement it every day. I've been quietly doing the same over the last few days and I'm going to keep studying it until I really get it. I've always considered myself a 'stoic' individual, but I really wanted a mental framework to keep me grounded through rough times. I know that thread can help you, so work through it slowly and really think about it. (Contents are completely backed by science as well.)
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Anyway, all the advice given here about exercising + going out + eating well + sleeping well, and then making all of that into a habit is excellent. (See this comment on habit formation by Nemencine: https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-36809...#pid745893)

Even though I highly recommend you read the REBT thread, I'd ironically stay away from reading TOO much other material unless it's specifically teaching you something you need to learn to take action. The recurring theme of advice in this thread is to DO something.
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On that note, when you're a little further along and feel like you're moving again, you can give OffTheReservation's NIPS system a skim. It's highly regarded by members here & I keep it in the back of my mind since it's so effective at systematizing the next step you want to take towards your goals. It's a really valuable though process and it's all about taking Action. https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-62961.html
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"A year from now you will wish you had started today.....May fortune favours the bold."

Best of luck OP + anyone else reading.
10-16-2018 12:30 AM
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Post: #69
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
OP, you seem to have a pretty nice comfortable live there; maybe a bit boring but definitely stable. I'm kinda jealous.

First, you live in an apartment by yourself. Not a shitty apartment, but a TWO bedroom apartment in Norway. You might not be a baller but you're doing better than 10 Mexicans living in a 2 bedroom apartment in Southwest Houston. There are still people with their parents at your age. You have a job, have a steady schedule that allows for free time, about to get a free education that's in demand, and it appears you like walking the forest. If you look at things, you're in pretty good shape my friend.

There's nothing wrong with being a female nurse, take advantage of it! You'll be in demand since most female nurses can't lift for shit and they'll call a male nurse to do the job. Not to mention you can actually move to the US with a nursing degree. Lots of Irish folks study nursing in the US and move to the Northeast US. In the long run, it's stable and you can actually make money (especially in Norway) and your body won't be all beat up unlike a tradesmen.

It could be worse, you could be out of a job, not have enough money to eat, take out student loans to finance your education, live in the third world, have child support or a whale for a wife, or you could have shitty back stabbing friends. No friends is better than bad friends, ditto for relationships (Gf\wife). The best thing about living alone is that you can always invite people over and kindly kick them out when you want them gone.

What things would you like to do or try? Snowboarding, surfing, beach, see wildlife? Set a goal for two things and make it happen, that way you can work towards something and reward yourself in the end. Kinda like the carrot and stick process. Personally, I've never been snowboarding but it's been on my to-do list and I'm bored....so I'm going to hit up Aspen and ride. Who knows if I'll like it, but it's been something I've always wanted to do. If you want to see wild animals maybe try saving up and hit up a safari or visit cancun.

@Tactician: Oilfield ain't hard.

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10-17-2018 06:45 AM
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Richard Turpin Offline
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Post: #70
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
I've nothing additional to add to some of the excellent advice already given, except to say that as a man in his 4th decade, I can confirm that the real, practical suggestions on this forum for people like the OP, Realbor and others is absolutely golden.

Young men struggling to make headway (and who can possibly blame them!) in this increasingly crazy world can do a lot worse than just read and search around this very forum. It's a fucking real Treasure Trove. In fact, you may not realise it but you are among the lucky ones in that you've found this place and are now privy to information and insight that would otherwise take you years to learn yourself the hard way.

Just read or ask around, you'll soon find answers. From making money to lifting weights, from what style shoes to wear, to what's worth watching or reading, you'll get intelligent, no-nonsense advice that will honestly give you a real advantage in life over others.

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.”

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10-17-2018 08:40 AM
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Post: #71
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
I have exactly the same feeling. But for me it's mostly the social part of life. 10 years ago I was living the good life as a student. Always friends around me, always someone to talk too and I always felt the motivation and inspiration around me.

But after graduation life became a hell. All my friends were focused on their job and girlfriend. My social life literally dropped from 100 to 0. This was reinforced by having low quality jobs and being surrounded by lower IQ people, while most of my friends got good jobs after graduation and were surrounded by like-minded people.

It's a negative spiral, because the lack of positivity and inspiration keeps pushing you down. You should write down the things you want to change and take action. And I know it can be hard, because failures/rejections will hit you hard and push you down, but when things are going better you will feel the positivity and inspiration flowing through your body and mind.
Today 06:32 AM
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Post: #72
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
(Today 06:32 AM)Marcus187 Wrote:  You should write down the things you want to change and take action.

^ This. This is what works for me.

You are your biggest well-wisher. While it is great to get some excellent ideas from this forum, you have to commit to the ones that are relevant to you and start taking initiative. I believe that you probably already know what needs to be changed in your subconscious. Once you start writing these ideas down, you have all these thoughts in front of you. You can then focus your conscious efforts on bringing about the changes you want in your life.

Once you start writing down what your goals are, what are the things/areas that need improvement, what gets you depressed, and what gets you motivated, you'll start to see life much more clearly.

Once you have that clarity:
1. write down your and short term and long term goals (and keep tweaking it)
2. journal everyday

What works for me is that I open a Word document in notebook layout, password-protect it (since you wouldn't want others to be reading this, imo), and start building on it. If you don't have access to MS Word, you could simply do it in your gmail drafts. Hope this helps.
(This post was last modified: Today 01:59 PM by mcw78912.)
Today 01:35 PM
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Post: #73
RE: How the fuck do you get your life together again?
Or you can do it with pen and paper. I have my to-do list and goals-list written in a moleskin pocketbook I carry around all the time.

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Today 01:43 PM
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