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How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
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tugofpeace Offline
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How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
I ask because it seems like she's turning into a feminist, and/or her personality is becoming messed up, and I don't know what to do.

Some background: I'm 30, she's 19. She studied her ass off in high school and got into a competitive 6 year med program. I consult for oil/gas.

Throughout her entire life, I tried to be a strong influence because I didn't want her to turn out to be a slut. I didn't want her to seek validation from other dudes by putting out. She was cute when she was younger, but she's one of those girls that doesn't really take care of herself - my honest opinion is that at this point in life, she's not attractive (maybe a 3-4), but that's because she doesn't eat healthy (she's chubby), she doesn't work out, and she doesn't wear makeup. If she did all that she'd be a solid 7. I only say all of this to lend you some perspective.

I don't think any guys have hit on her yet, but IDK. I always bought her nice things, tried to be overly affectionate, and tried to guide her to make the right choices in life. For the first 18 years, including her first year of college, she was sweet and level headed, and we had minimal arguments. There was always the brother/sister arguments we had growing up, but it was never serious.

Anyways, ever since she moved into an upscale condo with her roommate, and I gave her my lexus, she's been acting aggressive and being disrespectful/dismissive. As if she knows everything and that she's equal to me. I highly doubt it's because she's sleeping around or anything, I'm thinking it may just be stress/hormones, but she's very insulting. She has relationships with her friends where they just completely rip on each other, and she treats me the same way and it pisses me off.

Lately, I've been cutting her off and told her that I'd only see her during vacations. I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing. She's pretty much become a toxic person, and I cut her off to save my own emotional energy.

She has strong family values so I'm not worried that she'll turn out to be a slut, but everything about her points to being a feminist. She's very stubborn, told me that I can't give her any advice on personal stuff, and basically has killed that part of me which is a brother to her. She claims that I messed up her self esteem when she was younger and that I hurt her a lot, but that's the exact opposite of what I tried to do. For example, I would take her out to eat when I visited, pretty much all the time. It was my way of treating/ being good to her - but now she's claiming that she developed a binge eating disorder because of me.

Is this just how it goes for 19 year olds? Should I be keeping my distance from her until she grows older? It's not difficult for me, but I've said some things that hurt her feelings. No idea what to do here.
11-02-2018 11:12 AM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
Just laugh and keep agreeing and amplifying. She's a chick manipulating you.

She's an adult now and she's doing what 19 year old girls do best. If she says or does something stupid like a binge eating disorder, your reply should be, "You're supposed to purge afterwards fatty."

Use her arrogance against her. When she needs help, pull the strong woman card and make her sink or swim on her own.

She's shit testing you and you're failing.

Beyond that, she's on her own which is good because I'm in the mood for some angsty 19 year old med student tang. Banana
(This post was last modified: 11-02-2018 11:25 AM by The Beast1.)
11-02-2018 11:21 AM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
1. 19 is so young

I know for myself I didn't stop being an idiot and a bit of a dick until my mid 20's

2. She has a lexus and an upscale condo at 19

How do you think you are teaching her the value of money and how hard 99.9% of people have to work and the shit they have to go through in life to afford those things

I'd almost guarantee her attitude and entitlement would lessen if she was left on her own to buy her own car, and pay for her own rent in a shitty apartment

3. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink - this applies to family, friends and strangers

One of the most frustrating lessons in life is that you can give family the best advice in the world, and you are going to watch them completely ignore it and make big mistakes. I've experienced this myself and it can be very painful if you love them.

As you've experienced, some people even get PISSED OFF you're trying to help them because they are coming from a small mindset, and they can't open it enough to see where the decisions they are making are leading them to.

I've found the best approach is to just tell people you love them, you support them and that you're there if they need advice

But, you need to start making people earn your time and money. This includes family. People will take all the time and money in the world from you if you let them.

Start having standards people have to meet and don't let them play the sympathy card on you. Only let them in if they show you through their actions that they respect you and what you tell them.

People will either learn their lesson or they don't at the end of the day. You don't really have much power over which way they go I'm afraid.
(This post was last modified: 11-02-2018 11:47 AM by GT777733.)
11-02-2018 11:44 AM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
^^^ agree with wise GT777. She’s your adult sister, not your minor daughter, not your gf. If she’s not listening to you, there’s only so much you can do. Make sure she hears your point of view, and then it’s not your responsibility anymore. She may improve with time, or not. If she makes mistakes, don’t be angry, it’s not your fault.
11-02-2018 12:44 PM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
(11-02-2018 11:12 AM)tugofpeace Wrote:  She has strong family values so I'm not worried that she'll turn out to be a slut, but everything about her points to being a feminist. She's very stubborn, told me that I can't give her any advice on personal stuff, and basically has killed that part of me which is a brother to her. She claims that I messed up her self esteem when she was younger and that I hurt her a lot, but that's the exact opposite of what I tried to do. For example, I would take her out to eat when I visited, pretty much all the time. It was my way of treating/ being good to her - but now she's claiming that she developed a binge eating disorder because of me.

I could write but replace younger sister with younger brother (He's 24, I'm 27).

All of it (aside from binge eating disorder), he would talk about how much better so neighbours friends that they were real brothers even younger so there was always that nasty selfish potential, yet he was often very funny, whimsical, I liked him and brought him places always brought out him out with me and my older friends, I would even say things were better than they ever were by the time at 18 and he was at 16, , and during and after college he got quieter and quiter, walk past you in the hall without looking at you, he spit venom and bile at mum and dad while taking their money, then sent them on trip when finished college which amounted to "ok that's my gift for you paying college, now fuck off and I never have to owe you a phone call again". Its been 7 months since we heard from him, its killing them silently and oh yeah ironically enough his post graduate was human rights.

He was essentially radicalized and no amount of strong values or nurturing could have done it or inoculated him from it. We were the rare kids who went to Mass every Sunday and actually prayed on even weekday nights occasionally when younger. You could see him slowly detach methodically and deliberately, and I was pleading with my parents to see, not look at what I was talking about I was witnessing.

I don't have an answer, except to say any person who lets politics or ideology ruin their relationship with their closest is a mental case, we create our own hells, and if all she and him does is disagree and run from everything that triggers her she is going to have a very lonely life.

In agarian society or more primitive cultures, people like him and her (I hope not) are not exposed to these marxist ideologies and their lack of intelligence is tempered by the humbleness of a religious creed and it keeps the demons at bay, without exposure to that creed, they forget and the insanity/selfishness starts.


Information in the wrong hands, in the minds of the unintelligent will ruin their own lives.

Went to into was room recently at home, "what's that Rules for Radicals, I see"

"Now it all makes sense".

Fuck the modern world and your smartphones, I lost my only sibling.
Fix that motherfuckers.
Oh no, it's exactly you always wanted it.

Progress.

Don't start hoping, let her go, you have literally no control over this, coming from a man who tried it all with my own brother.

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(This post was last modified: 11-02-2018 01:05 PM by Syberpunk.)
11-02-2018 01:04 PM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
(11-02-2018 11:21 AM)The Beast1 Wrote:  Just laugh and keep agreeing and amplifying. She's a chick manipulating you.

She's an adult now and she's doing what 19 year old girls do best. If she says or does something stupid like a binge eating disorder, your reply should be, "You're supposed to purge afterwards fatty."

Use her arrogance against her. When she needs help, pull the strong woman card and make her sink or swim on her own.

She's shit testing you and you're failing.

Beyond that, she's on her own which is good because I'm in the mood for some angsty 19 year old med student tang. Banana

See this is what's difficult for me. I don't see her as an adult, so I can't tell if she's actually manipulating me or not. We were at the grocery store once when we were helping her move into her condo, and she asked me where to find chicken breast. I told her that she should go to the frozen isle section and look for it - not in an angry way, just in a way that suggests she's on her own and needs to start learning how to do that kind of stuff. She ended up crying. Because of things like that, I still see her as a child.

She is rude as fuck - I never insult her straight up, and try to control my emotions under the guise of being the bigger man. I even agree and amplify, but then she insults me even further after I've amplified. She's just a cunt. I think she just doesn't realize that, but I don't know.

I hesitate to hurt her because she's lonely (doesn't have too many friends) and isn't that popular. She's not spoiled because she knows my parents work hard to provide for her, and she always tries to save money. She knows the value of money, but I don't think she appreciates her situation.

My gut feeling was to let her go - I told her I won't talk to her except during vacations, and she tried to break that, and I said fine, but then another argument ensued and now she's delaying her response to me to reconcile. It's petty shit and I'm thinking to just be happy that I was a good brother to her during her first 18 years, but now she's on her own and it's her life. I shouldn't be a part of that, until maybe she graduates and gains some maturity.

I should be focusing on my own life, which isn't in great shape.
11-02-2018 02:36 PM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
(11-02-2018 11:44 AM)GT777733 Wrote:  1. 19 is so young

I know for myself I didn't stop being an idiot and a bit of a dick until my mid 20's

2. She has a lexus and an upscale condo at 19

How do you think you are teaching her the value of money and how hard 99.9% of people have to work and the shit they have to go through in life to afford those things

I'd almost guarantee her attitude and entitlement would lessen if she was left on her own to buy her own car, and pay for her own rent in a shitty apartment

3. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink - this applies to family, friends and strangers

One of the most frustrating lessons in life is that you can give family the best advice in the world, and you are going to watch them completely ignore it and make big mistakes. I've experienced this myself and it can be very painful if you love them.

As you've experienced, some people even get PISSED OFF you're trying to help them because they are coming from a small mindset, and they can't open it enough to see where the decisions they are making are leading them to.

I've found the best approach is to just tell people you love them, you support them and that you're there if they need advice

But, you need to start making people earn your time and money. This includes family. People will take all the time and money in the world from you if you let them.

Start having standards people have to meet and don't let them play the sympathy card on you. Only let them in if they show you through their actions that they respect you and what you tell them.

People will either learn their lesson or they don't at the end of the day. You don't really have much power over which way they go I'm afraid.

Yea I agree with everything. My advice is falling on deaf ears. I gave her very coherent and neutral advice but she just chose to ignore it. She's a straight up bitch, and I really hate to say that. I literally have no desire to talk to her except to make sure she's ok emotionally - I know people who are depressed and under a lot of stress could kill themselves, but I don't think she's that low.

I forgot to mention, we're from India if that means anything. I've been in the states since 3 and my sister was born here.
11-02-2018 02:45 PM
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Post: #8
RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
TL;dr -OP, I can relate to you in some ways. My sense is you're wanting to be a good older brother but also seeing your sister not showing appreciation for you, and even actively disrespecting you. This would be unacceptable to any man but only YOU can end it. That might require you to fully distance yourself from her and let her 'be the adult' she wants the world (and you) to believe she is. Only YOU can decide how much disrespect you'll tolerate, from anyone, and family pushes us harder and farther than any stranger would ever dream (unless they're psychotic). The longer you go without drawing a line in the sand and establishing consequences for her poor behavior toward you, the more demanding and crazy her behavior will be.

She's a woman, and she's an overgrown entitled child (as most young women are, especially given unearned rewards like cars, condos, undue respect, etc.). A child NEEDS discipline and while you can't physically do that (nor should you), your clarity and willingness to distance yourself will show her you're serious and she has standards she must maintain to enjoy the benefits of you in her life. This isn't mean, this is a kindness to her so she won't fuck her life up acting like a cunt to anyone (including men). You're setting an example of what she can or can't get away with re: behavior toward men who would show consideration toward her. She's using you as a proving ground, which most younger sisters do. How you deal with her will also affect how you deal with any future / current woman you date.

===

Having lived over 40 years on this planet and been through a lot of ups and downs, including losing my father some years ago to chronic disease, I've slowly come to a simple 'NO BULLSHIT' rule.

It's very simple: if I feel you're disrespecting me, I'll tell you and you need to apologize. If you don't, or you do and repeat it (habit-forming), then I'll cut you out of my life unless and until you change.

As Clint said in one of his movies 'A man's gotta know his limitations.'

Do you?

I didn't, for a long time. But I do now. I am a good man, I take care of my own business and enjoy interacting with others, for fun or assistance. I'm grateful to receive help and also offer it. But I'm no fool.

Family often think they can get away with being complete assholes because 'well, you're my XYZ, how can you leave me?' Women are guilty of this more so than men, but feminized men would be as well.

Since you're admitting your life isn't in great shape (and we can all stand improvement), here are my suggestions, for what they're worth:

-Tell yourself, in the mirror, every morning and every night 'I only accept honest and respectful people into my life.' This is a POSITIVE affirmation and while it alone won't change your life like some self-help gurus might imply, it will begin to reprogram your thought process.

-Tell your sister you don't tolerate rude / abusive / ungrateful people in your life. You tell yourself what you WANT (prior step) and tell others what you WON'T TOLERATE. This is a VERY important part of neuro-linguistic programming, which you are in sore need of doing for yourself. I know, I've been there and still have to remind myself of my WANTS and WON'T TOLERATES.

-The next time she's disrespectful, stop her THEN AND THERE -don't wait to get home or into a quieter / more private environment. Tell her WHAT exactly you find disrespectful and WHY. If she continues the behavior or talks back, exit / leave / GTFO then and there. You HAVE to back up your words with actions otherwise they're hollow. This is the hardest part, and the most essential. This is how you discipline or 'spank' an adult child - you make them responsible for the consequences of their behavior, without needing to 'spank' them physically.

-Watch Patrice O'Neal videos on YT, especially the Black Philip Show. It'll help you grow some stones. Hell, you might even be able to start calling her a 'bitch' when she is one, and that'll shock the fuck out of her.

Step back from the situation - for my own sanity, I had to go no-contact with my mother earlier this year. I told her clearly what she was doing that was disrespecting me and I wouldn't tolerate it. Long story short, during that time with ZERO interaction, I got a lot more peace and she is coming back around with most humility.

It's incredible how we can fall into patterns that we aren't aware of. If you feel yourself wanting to white knight, simp, help a girl out, etc. STOP THAT SHIT NOW! Just fucking stop. Let liberated bitches take care of themselves. Let them know what your standards are and if they can't meet them, cut them the fuck off. Every man that does this makes the world a less feminized place and that is a VERY good thing.

Good luck.

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11-02-2018 03:01 PM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
This post really hit home for me.

I was in a very similar situation a few years ago. I have a number of siblings. Some of us are closer than others. My youngest sister and I had a very close relationship when she was a kid and in to her teen years.

I help move her out for college a few years ago. Almost immediately I notices a change. Her attitude. Her views on the world. It was that first-class, grade A college indoctrination. She went to a good school, but studied one of the softest majors you can take. And, I'm pretty sure it was 95% propaganda. She wasn't a gender studies major or anything, but a lot of buzzwords like "toxic masculinity" started to enter her vocabulary, whereas they had been absent before.

I spent the bulk of my adult life so far in the academy, so I know of what I speak. College/university can be brutal and quite toxic for a male student. But, there is no comparison when one looks at what it can, and often does, to the female student. Many of our institutions of higher learning spend an inordinate amount of time turning relatively stable and nice teenage girls in to "young women" so ideologically-bent and temperamentally-destroyed as to be unrecognizable to their own families.

Fortunately in my case, we had a few things going for us (within the family) that prevented my sister from going off the deep end. And I will say that exposure to the real world after college served as a nice palate cleanser. She has since - and rather quickly - shrugged off most of the crazed indoctrination. But, that was not without herculean efforts on the part of myself and my male relatives. I hope that you can see a similarly acceptable outcome with your own sister.

As you can tell, I am suggesting that a lot of what you are experiencing with your sister is a result of her immediate environment, college.

We should not be in the position of sending our children (or a younger sibling in this case) off to an institution that claims to "better" them, only to have unrecognizable monsters sent back to us.

I'll close with a warning I have added to many other posts. Don't send your kids to college, folks. Specifically, keep your daughters away. There are other ways to approach life. You do not need to jump, at eighteen, in to one of these glorified and self-congratulatory re-education camps.

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11-02-2018 03:26 PM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
Minimize/avoid interaction with her. Be boring/trivial when you are around her, have irrelevant/meaningless conversations if you have to have them at all. If you used to take week-long vacations back home to see family with them present, make them 2 days max in the future, and stay at a hotel and get a rental car so you can be around them even less when you are on vacation.
11-02-2018 03:41 PM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
Thanks for the responses, makes a lot of sense.

I show visual discomfort when she says something messed up, and she knows it. A lot of our arguments are now through text. So I decided to just minimize interactions with her. I called her a hateful/derogatory person a week back and totally destroyed her when she tossed an insult my way. I insulted her where it hurts, and I'm pretty sure it wrecked her. She absolutely deserved it.

It's hard for me because I still see tidbits of her childhood here and there, and I always had a soft spot for that. She cries if I yell at her or get mad, just like when she was little. But nowadays, she's a vicious, toxic person and I absolutely hated when she jokingly said that she was a strong independent woman. She is strongly against patriarchal views while I am more open (I still believe women should be educated and work).

I think I just need to be happy that for the first 18 years of her life, I was as good and as loving of a brother as I could have been, and that now, she's on her own. Part of love is learning and being comfortable with letting the other person go. I need to tap out and let her form her own life, it's not my business anymore. We took care of her first two years of tuition, her condo, and her car - now it's up to her to make things happen and become mature.
(This post was last modified: 11-02-2018 03:45 PM by tugofpeace.)
11-02-2018 03:44 PM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
Nothing beats the feminist out of a women like the backside of a man's pimp hand. Show her what Male privilege is all about.

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11-02-2018 09:19 PM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
Finally, a "How to Game Your Sister" datasheet.

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11-02-2018 10:48 PM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
I've had to tell this to my sister publicly, in front of my parents.

Me: stop being a cunt, just stop.
sister: I'm not
Me: yes you are

It just works. the end
11-03-2018 01:08 AM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
If your sister is turning into a cunt the easiest solution is just to avoid her completely (or at least as much as possible). Lots of people have relatives/family they hardly ever speak to or see. Problem solved.
11-03-2018 01:29 AM
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RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
(11-02-2018 11:12 AM)tugofpeace Wrote:  I ask because it seems like she's turning into a feminist, and/or her personality is becoming messed up, and I don't know what to do.

Some background: I'm 30, she's 19. She studied her ass off in high school and got into a competitive 6 year med program. I consult for oil/gas.

Throughout her entire life, I tried to be a strong influence because I didn't want her to turn out to be a slut. I didn't want her to seek validation from other dudes by putting out. She was cute when she was younger, but she's one of those girls that doesn't really take care of herself - my honest opinion is that at this point in life, she's not attractive (maybe a 3-4), but that's because she doesn't eat healthy (she's chubby), she doesn't work out, and she doesn't wear makeup. If she did all that she'd be a solid 7. I only say all of this to lend you some perspective.

I don't think any guys have hit on her yet, but IDK. I always bought her nice things, tried to be overly affectionate, and tried to guide her to make the right choices in life. For the first 18 years, including her first year of college, she was sweet and level headed, and we had minimal arguments. There was always the brother/sister arguments we had growing up, but it was never serious.

Anyways, ever since she moved into an upscale condo with her roommate, and I gave her my lexus, she's been acting aggressive and being disrespectful/dismissive. As if she knows everything and that she's equal to me. I highly doubt it's because she's sleeping around or anything, I'm thinking it may just be stress/hormones, but she's very insulting. She has relationships with her friends where they just completely rip on each other, and she treats me the same way and it pisses me off.

Lately, I've been cutting her off and told her that I'd only see her during vacations. I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing. She's pretty much become a toxic person, and I cut her off to save my own emotional energy.

She has strong family values so I'm not worried that she'll turn out to be a slut, but everything about her points to being a feminist. She's very stubborn, told me that I can't give her any advice on personal stuff, and basically has killed that part of me which is a brother to her. She claims that I messed up her self esteem when she was younger and that I hurt her a lot, but that's the exact opposite of what I tried to do. For example, I would take her out to eat when I visited, pretty much all the time. It was my way of treating/ being good to her - but now she's claiming that she developed a binge eating disorder because of me.

Is this just how it goes for 19 year olds? Should I be keeping my distance from her until she grows older? It's not difficult for me, but I've said some things that hurt her feelings. No idea what to do here.


Bad situation. First avoid saying things hurt her feelings it doesn't help anyone, control your anger even she provokes you. I don't think you are doing anything wrong, in my opinion she has issues, dealing with people like that is always stressful.

Seems she is a lesbian and masculine girl with low self esteem.. Any masculine girl can't feel good with herself.... messed up personality and feminist, does she hate men too?19 years old without boyfriend or guys around?

I'm not sure she has strong family values if she treats her brother like you are saying....

Do you know if by chance she is using any drugs?

If you will have kids in future would you like them spend their time with their messed up aunt? Or having her around in your family?

"Eating disorder because of you"?? Not because of her? She is also manipulative and psychologically abusive with you.

I think your sister from what you are saying she has psychological issues. 100% sure she is not well with herself.

You may try to talk with your parents and relatives in order to inform them about her, and if they can try to do something, maybe try to convince her to see a doctor or a psychologist?

BUT If she decided to take that way I think you can't do anything even though she's your sister, I would just quote W. H. McRaven Navy Seal Admiral who wrote the book Make your bed: "life's not fair, drive on!"
(This post was last modified: 11-03-2018 04:04 AM by ìlikegirls.)
11-03-2018 03:05 AM
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Post: #17
RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
Good points being said so far. OP got to realize that his sister is no longer the little girl playing with dolls in elementary school 10 years ago. She has become a woman and with it comes the entitlement that the women of our generation have. Give her guidance or ideas if she asks for it in a responsible manner but you got to know that spending time on it will be a waste of your time if her complaining (aka attention seeking behavior) has become a pattern.

She can choose the path she wants to follow, and she will for sure, but she must know that she has to deal with the consequences. I don't know if too many girls have real affection to their older brothers especially if the father figure in the household was messed up. But displaying a strong frame with her will help you in your relationships with other women in general if you and your sister have to interact in daily life. Or you can choose to ignore her if you are living away, but accept that over time you will become distant. At least you aren't wasting your resources on her.

Game saves families.
11-03-2018 07:29 AM
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Post: #18
RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
He has troubles to deal with her, not because she is a growing up woman or a teenager. He has troubles since she is a woman with issues (eating disorder, manipulation, low self esteem and troubles with men), everyone would have trouble to deal with her. You can't compare a normal woman with her.

I was thinking the same probably these issues comes from family history, like messed up father or mother figure etc. Who knows.

Anyway his description of her looks like the description of a Borderline disorder. I wound't be surprised if she uses drugs and alcohol.

I have personally seen girls with real affection to their older or (younger) brothers/sisters. It the normal way how things should go, but as Mcraven said life is not fair....so if is not like that move on!
11-03-2018 09:38 AM
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Post: #19
RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
She isn't into drugs, I know that for fact. She has no time for it. She did tell me she smoked once.

Even when her friends were getting fake IDs, I convinced her not to. She's not an alcoholic, she has no time for that either, although I do know she's drank before.

She's just a bitch nowadays. Her personality is one of a spoiled rich kid now (although she isn't, she doesn't spend lavishly) that I think about it. I made myself smaller in order to be friendly with her, not because I saw her as equal - she probably thinks she's equal to me which is why she behaves that way.

She basically said at one point, her friends don't get offended if she roasts them, so it shouldn't affect me either. Absolutely dumb logic. I'm not a 19 year old kid. Maybe I need to start behaving my age around her.
(This post was last modified: 11-03-2018 01:21 PM by tugofpeace.)
11-03-2018 01:10 PM
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Post: #20
RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
(11-03-2018 01:10 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  She isn't into drugs, I know that for fact. She has no time for it. She did tell me she smoked once.

Even when her friends were getting fake IDs, I convinced her not to. She's not an alcoholic, she has no time for that either, although I do know she's drank before.

She's just a bitch nowadays. Her personality is one of a spoiled rich kid now (although she isn't, she doesn't spend lavishly) that I think about it. I made myself smaller in order to be friendly with her, not because I saw her as equal - she probably thinks she's equal to me which is why she behaves that way.

She basically said at one point, her friends don't get offended if she roasts them, so it shouldn't affect me either. Absolutely dumb logic. I'm not a 19 year old kid. Maybe I need to start behaving my age around her.


You know her in person, do you think she is fine? or for you too as I thought she may have some psychological issues?

Treating other people badly is a sign of low self esteem, but from what you wrote there are many signs of low self esteem. The main one is that she doesn't accept her femininity, and that is bad.

She wants to be feminist but she is not behaving like a woman, these are typical signs of lesbian masculine woman: (I don't consider them real women, but creepy people who try to mimic men)

- "she's one of those girls that doesn't really take care of herself"
- "she's not attractive"
- "she doesn't wear makeup"
- "acting aggressive and being disrespectful/dismissive."


Have you tried to speak to her about your concern?

Do your parents or relatives notice these things?
(This post was last modified: 11-03-2018 02:03 PM by ìlikegirls.)
11-03-2018 01:57 PM
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Post: #21
RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
(11-03-2018 01:57 PM)ìlikegirls Wrote:  
(11-03-2018 01:10 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  She isn't into drugs, I know that for fact. She has no time for it. She did tell me she smoked once.

Even when her friends were getting fake IDs, I convinced her not to. She's not an alcoholic, she has no time for that either, although I do know she's drank before.

She's just a bitch nowadays. Her personality is one of a spoiled rich kid now (although she isn't, she doesn't spend lavishly) that I think about it. I made myself smaller in order to be friendly with her, not because I saw her as equal - she probably thinks she's equal to me which is why she behaves that way.

She basically said at one point, her friends don't get offended if she roasts them, so it shouldn't affect me either. Absolutely dumb logic. I'm not a 19 year old kid. Maybe I need to start behaving my age around her.


You know her in person, do you think she is fine? or for you too as I thought she may have some psychological issues?

Treating other people badly is a sign of low self esteem, but from what you wrote there are many signs of low self esteem. The main one is that she doesn't accept her femininity, and that is bad.

She wants to be feminist but she is not behaving like a woman, these are typical signs of lesbian masculine woman: (I don't consider them real women, but creepy people who try to mimic men)

- "she's one of those girls that doesn't really take care of herself"
- "she's not attractive"
- "she doesn't wear makeup"
- "acting aggressive and being disrespectful/dismissive."


Have you tried to speak to her about your concern?

Do your parents or relatives notice these things?

I really don't think she's a lesbian, she just has little to no experience with guys. Being indian and not attractive, she never gets approached. She spent all her time in highshool studying, and the friends that she does have are all girls. It's like saying a guy who has only guy friends and isn't really a masculine alpha male is gay.. it's not realistic. However, it could be that she is a lesbian, I don't know.

Her lack of self care goes all the way back to her childhood - she never liked to take baths when she was growing up, I'd always have to yell at her to do it. My parents let her get away with it. It's not a habit she recently picked up.

Her aggressiveness was also there since she was born. We have videos of her jokingly yelling at me when she was 1-2 years old, it was cute then. But I think nowadays she's been conditioned that she's amazing or something and she behaves that way, although she has told me that she has very low self esteem.
11-03-2018 02:58 PM
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Post: #22
RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
man being lesbian is not only not having a boyfriend but as you can notice all lesbians more or less lack of their femininity.

Another point: "all the friends she has are all girls"

It's not how many girls you have alpha or beta, its all the process.. If I say a man that cares too much about fancy clothes, wears make up, speak gently and has a passive personality... what would you think?

Unfortunately all lesbians girls I met have more or less a bunch of troubles I think due to their low self esteem first because they don't accept their femininity (also feminine lesbians don't accept 100% their feminine side) then because they have often toxic relationships with gays friends and other lesbians, they are bullied and not accepted, probably also by their family..... all the LBGT community are people with troubles... so that's why I avoid them. Is not a secret they have statically more mental disorders than normal people.

You didn't answer do you think she may have some psychological issues?

Did you parents notice these things?
(This post was last modified: 11-03-2018 03:22 PM by ìlikegirls.)
11-03-2018 03:10 PM
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Post: #23
RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
(11-03-2018 03:10 PM)ìlikegirls Wrote:  man being lesbian is not only not having a boyfriend but as you can notice all lesbians more or less lack of their femininity.

Another point: "all the friends she has are all girls"

It's not how many girls you have alpha or beta, its all the process.. If I say a man that cares too much about fancy clothes, wears make up, speak gently and has a passive personality... what would you think?

Unfortunately all lesbians girls I met have more or less a bunch of troubles I think due to their low self esteem first because they don't accept their femininity (also feminine lesbians don't accept 100% their feminine side) then because they have often toxic relationships with gays friends and other lesbians, they are bullied and not accepted, probably also by their family..... all the LBGT community are people with troubles... so that's why I avoid them. Is not a secret they have statically more mental disorders than normal people.

You didn't answer do you think she may have some psychological issues?

Did you parents notice these things?

I know what her deepest insecurities are. She's unhappy about her weight/chubbiness (she has tried to eat healthy but has trouble due to stress), she's unhappy that it's difficult for her to make friends as compared to her roommate (popular 8/10 girl), and she's unhappy that she's not attractive (I talked her out of that notion, just told her she needs to put in effort). She doesn't have any psychological issues. She grew up in a loving household and had close friends growing up, we never moved around, and she went to the best school in a nice area. We gave her everything a girl her age could want (except expensive vacations and clothes).
11-03-2018 04:57 PM
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Post: #24
RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
low self esteem is already a psychological issue, since it affects how you see the world, how you interact with others.

Feeling good doesn't mean only having good blood results or body mass index but also have a good mental status, happiness relationships, family, etc. from what you are saying she is not healthy.

Your concern is dealing with her or "fixing her" from her troubles?

Since you said she has a loving household, did your parents notice these things?
(This post was last modified: 11-03-2018 05:15 PM by ìlikegirls.)
11-03-2018 05:10 PM
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Post: #25
RE: How do I deal with a younger sister turning into a rude person?
You gave her a Lexus. If she's turning into a brat/THOT, you're part of that pedestal propping her up. You're part of the problem.

Take back the Lexus. Let her buy herself a Tercel off craigslist -- one that's held together with Gorilla Tape and Elmer's Glue.

No THOT can get big ideas about herself in a Tercel.
11-03-2018 07:08 PM
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