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Can I build comfort with texting?
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Professor When Offline
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Post: #1
Can I build comfort with texting?
I just had a thought, reading a thread about texting flakes in the main forum: should I be texting girls more?

When I get a number I usually give her a "hey, it's Prof, what's up?" within the next few days, and suggest a meetup. I'll usually give it a second shot if she flakes, but it's the same thing, "let's do X tomorrow," etc.

Do you guys communicate with these girls outside of trying to set up a meeting? Random crap like asking what she's up to or something? Roosh's books seem to suggest that you use texting for logistics only, but the posts I see seem to contradict that.

What is the proper course of action here?
11-18-2018 08:47 PM
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RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
You can build comfort with texting. It makes a girl feel like she knows you more. However, it's important to keep a balance of comfort and attraction to ensure sex. Too much comfort causes a loss in attraction
11-19-2018 12:09 AM
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RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
No. Text is for logistics only.

Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
11-19-2018 11:07 AM
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The Golden God Offline
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RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
You have to apply some common sense to it, I don't think that texting is only for logistics...

Rather, texting exists for 2 very narrow purposes, logistics in setting up meets or building rapport.

Texting to build rapport needs to be focused... the entire time you are texting her you need to have the question in your head of:

"Is our conversation building familiarity and increasing her attraction to me by displaying high SMV?"

Texting to build rapport needs to be light and fun. Lots of guys try to conduct an interview with a girl over text.

All I aim to do is get her to provide me with some information about herself while giving her novel, engaged responses that set me apart from the typical sex crazed beta male that tries to hit her up daily. You can get deeper details about her while face to face, focus on things that are fun to talk about and easy to expand on.

I keep in mind that I want to be portrayed to her as a high SMV male... picture what an archetypal alpha male like James Bond, Dan Bilzerian or others would be saying. They would be concise with as little effort as possible, and would not be trying to entertain a girl into being interested in them.

I don't ask her questions, I get her to provide details to me by making assumptions and jokes about what she's talking about... for example I'll respond to typical boring bitch replies in a conversation like this (real example from recent 18 yo girl I was talking to):

Me: "Hey this is [name] from the thing. What's up" (I don't use question marks or elaborate on why I'm texting her, shows high SMV)
Girl: "Not much. Playing with my cat while doing some homework." (she isn't asking me what I'm doing... I need to spice it up)
Me: "Wow what excitement. I took you for a cat person" (i limit my investment to what she is giving me. I also provide an assumption without any elaboration to elicit a response from her)
Girl: "Yeah I'm usually either doing homework or procrastinating it. How did you know?"
Me: "cats lie around inside while there's more fun stuff to do... seems fitting" (subtle neg along with continuation of my low investment reply style)
Girl: "I guess so haha" (she got hit with the last text and breaks rapport. I don't try to make her feel any better and switch subjects)
Me: "So give me the basics. Kids? Tattoos? Ever been to prison?" (i ask questions here but
Girl: "No, no and no."
Me: "yawn... you aren't a nun on the dl are you"
Girl: "damn you caught me!"
Me: "My respects sister (prayer emoji) how's life at the monastery goin"
Girl: "Good you know... just praying and shit"
Me: "Sounds boringly holy... let's change that"
Girl: "okay Smile"
(followed up by asking her about what she does for fun, agreeing to meet up after passing a couple shit tests)
11-19-2018 12:45 PM
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Post: #5
RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
(11-19-2018 12:45 PM)The Golden God Wrote:  Me: "Hey this is [name] from the thing. What's up" (I don't use question marks or elaborate on why I'm texting her, shows high SMV)

^^ this

None (or very few) questions marks establishes frame.

You’re not asking her a question, you’re giving her a command.

A question gets an answer, a command gets an explanation (which is benenficial in gauging her interest as well).

“What are you doing tomorrow night ? Let’s meet up for drinks at X.”
“I got plans tomorrow night, sorry.”

“What are you doing tomorrow night let’s meet up for drinks at X.”
“I wish I could, but I’ve got plans tomorrow night. Are you available on Thursday ?”

Both have exactly the same wording, but in many cases will illicit different responses.

Darkwing Buck Wrote:  A 5 in your bed is worth more than a 9 in your head.
11-20-2018 09:51 AM
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Post: #6
RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
^ Precisely.

Eliminate all the "fluff" you add to your interactions which is designed to remove tension.

A few examples in a hypothetical text scenario:

You text a girl and have a little bit of rapport, warming her up before getting to setting up a meet up. You move in to check what her plans are after making some light and entertaining small talk:

A: "What are your plans tomorrow night?"
vs.
B: "Anything exciting going on this weekend"

B is better because:
- You aren't asking for her to exert effort. By their nature questions are intended to extract important information. By asking her a question, you're framing yourself as someone seeking information from her. She is the one giving to you.

-Eliminate question words (who, what, when, where, why) and figure out interesting ways to gain information instead

- You are qualifying her by asking if she is doing anything exciting. You aren't asking if she has plans made, if she's going out or if she wants to do something. All you are doing is putting a question in her head of "Am I doing anything exciting?"

She replies and says that she is doing something boring (drinking coffee with her cat... some typical uninteresting girl shit) and asks what your plans are.

A: "Not much trying to figure things out haha. We should go and get drinks tomorrow though!"
vs.
B: "Well my knife fighting tournament got canceled so I'm in need of some excitement, let's meet for drinks tomorrow"

A is typical texting behavior from guys.
- Don't include things like "haha" "lol" or emojis in your texts at first. When you build more comfort with her later in the relationship, one for every 2 that she gives you is a good rule. Don't be a robot who refrains from it entirely, if she is using tons of emojis and laughter, sprinkle it in during the high moments so she sees it as a reward.
- Don't say things like "we should" or "do you want to" when you are propositioning a girl. People do this to soften the rejection on themselves and they show that you are not confident that she would want to go out with you.
- This is something a little more specific, but when a girl offers an obstacle to hanging out (for example she says she has homework to do) don't ask her to do something following with "though" or "instead". She's the one coming on the exciting date with you, you don't have to convince her. Thinking you need to pry her away from her boring day to day life shows low SMV.

Set yourself apart from the rest, be the confident, dominant man that she isn't used to and tell her exactly what is on your mind. She'll be turned on by your blunt honesty.

B works because it is light, interesting and concise.
- I try to make it clear to girls that I am not the type to have long text conversations. Too many guys try to qualify themselves to girls by providing high quality answers to what she asks.
- Answer questions she has for you in something funny or vague, ideally both (knife fighting).

Lots of guys here don't like getting into text game and I understand why... but in today's day and age if you want to be on top of your game you have to adapt.

Consider that lots of the girls we are interested in (18-25 range) grew up with a cell phone in their hand. For them, texting is as natural a part of relationships as going on dates. They are used to a large part of their relationships being through text and social media.

You're going to have to learn how to build rapport in texts... start to be very deliberate with your texts while following game principles and watch your results improve...
11-20-2018 11:27 AM
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RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
^^
I see what you mean regarding the buzz words and phrases (“do you want to”, “instead”). They almost force her to make choices, and women prefer to be led.

Another benefit of not using the question mark is that she’s getting quizzed all day.. her friends, boyfriend, parents, siblings, bosses..

The omission of the question mark gives off an “I’m not interested in interrogating you” vibe and sets you apart from everyone else that’s “making (her) day so difficult with questions”.

Darkwing Buck Wrote:  A 5 in your bed is worth more than a 9 in your head.
11-20-2018 11:41 AM
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RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
Exactly.

I think when a girl sees a question in traditional form like:

"What do you ...?"
"Do you want to...?"

A switch is flipped that withdraws her from right-brained emotional thinking and forces left-brained thinking and logic into it.

Instead, say:

"Let's..."
"Join me..."

This way, you are extending an invitation for her to play into your frame without breaking rapport by posing a defined question.

Think of it like how James Bond carries himself. He does not pose questions and allow a pause to let girls take control of the situation and think... he just does.

And women fall into it every. single. time.

Why?

Because a strong man who boldly states what he wants with a take it or leave it approach is rare... and extremely attractive to women.

It keeps them in an emotional state - their natural state & the most feminine - and they cannot resist a man that can do that for them.

After all, what do you think a girl will find more intriguing:

A guy who asks her permission on making plans for a date,

or a guy who casually extends an offer for her to join him on a night in his interesting life?
11-20-2018 01:37 PM
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Dalaran1991 Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
Knowing the OP from his other posts, I'd say steer clear from text game for anything other than logistics.

OP has a tendency to overanalyze, so instead of building anything I think he will just get paralyzed when the girl sends him any text out of his expectation. This is true for most people though.

If you want to play text game, use it to do what you can not do during real live chat.

I've been around for a while and the only time any extended text game worked in my favor is when the girl already liked me and I was able to amplify that attraction.

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11-21-2018 05:30 AM
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chvrches Offline
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RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
I did what you suggested Golden God and said "I am gonna try out this new ice cream place later tonight, you should join me" and she said, unfortunately, she's busy tonight and cant. What do i say from here? Or in general, if a girl says she can't make it.

A) too bad, you're missing out Wink
B) no problem, maybe another time

Do i hit her up a week later for another try or is there a way i can figure out her schedule and when she's free without sounding desperate. Don't want to shoot in the dark and hope to hit one day she's free, as you said, i am the prize, she should be happy to go on a date with me when im available and offer her my time.
11-21-2018 11:26 AM
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RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
(11-21-2018 05:30 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  Knowing the OP from his other posts, I'd say steer clear from text game for anything other than logistics.

OP has a tendency to overanalyze, so instead of building anything I think he will just get paralyzed when the girl sends him any text out of his expectation. This is true for most people though.

If you want to play text game, use it to do what you can not do during real live chat.

I've been around for a while and the only time any extended text game worked in my favor is when the girl already liked me and I was able to amplify that attraction.

You're not wrong.

Thanks for the input everyone. I already understand the "don't interrogate" mindset, so at least that's not my point of failing. I'll probably start practicing a bit since there is functionally no different between me dropping a girl that doesn't respond a few times and driving her away with bad game.
(This post was last modified: 11-21-2018 11:38 AM by Professor When.)
11-21-2018 11:37 AM
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RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
(11-21-2018 11:26 AM)chvrches Wrote:  I did what you suggested Golden God and said "I am gonna try out this new ice cream place later tonight, you should join me" and she said, unfortunately, she's busy tonight and cant. What do i say from here? Or in general, if a girl says she can't make it.

A) too bad, you're missing out Wink
B) no problem, maybe another time

Do i hit her up a week later for another try or is there a way i can figure out her schedule and when she's free without sounding desperate. Don't want to shoot in the dark and hope to hit one day she's free, as you said, i am the prize, she should be happy to go on a date with me when im available and offer her my time.

A) Sounds like you are trying to sell yourself
B) She has not said "sorry" so there is no need for you to say "No Problem"
"Maybe another time" means you will hit her up again. You don't want this . You want her to wonder whether you're gone or you'll hit her up again .

I'll do one of the following :
1- Send her shrug emoji and say whatever and smiley face. She might then counter offer . I had girls done this.
2- No reply and then hit her up again
11-21-2018 11:51 AM
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RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
You get the point and your text was not bad. You were absolutely right in understanding the concept but I would execute it a little differently.
(11-21-2018 11:26 AM)chvrches Wrote:  I did what you suggested Golden God and said "I am gonna try out this new ice cream place later tonight, you should join me"

You don't necessarily need those parts of the text, optimized would look like:
"Gonna try out a new ice cream place later tonight, come join me"

Or better

"In the mood for something sweet and bad for me"

Here I would let her ask what I mean

"Ice cream later, you in"

In that situation she might ask if you're talking about her with the "something sweet and bad for me" part.

I love to include little innuendos like these... if she likes it then that's a plus for you... and you don't have to elaborate on it further, this is like a free compliment that does not lower your SMV by supplicating her.

If she attempts to shit test you by asking about it then you can slap her down, you have no risk at all in using these and if she is attracted to you she will be impressed by your boldness.

She might say something like "I'm not sweet though" or "and what would that be?"

Strike it down by saying "ice cream, obviously".

Back to your situation...

If she did not give you an alternate time to meet up, she either isn't that interested or she thought you were asking her as a spur of the moment type thing (if you randomly sent that and asked her to join you).

I would reply to her refusal with something along the lines of...

"Avoiding sugar AND me... you must be on a real masochistic streak this week"

let her explain her refusal... then try for a meet up 1-2 days away from today.

Advice on text game
(This post was last modified: 11-21-2018 11:58 AM by The Golden God.)
11-21-2018 11:54 AM
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Post: #14
RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
Greatin texting advice in this thread The Golden God!

Two questions regarding this:

(11-21-2018 11:54 AM)The Golden God Wrote:  "Avoiding sugar AND me... you must be on a real masochistic streak this week"

Isn't that giving her a reward (attention) after her flake?
And what's your opinion on radio silence on flakes?

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02-19-2019 12:02 PM
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RE: Can I build comfort with texting?
I use texting only to make plans. If you text to much , then you will not have much to talk about when you see the person because you already used up some of your game. One of the reasons I dont like pipelineing. Your dates will become boring if you text to much and reveal so much about you. You will resort to talking about boring random shit during the silences ... But if she barely knows you, then you can talk longer and it makes it more interesting to learn about the other person.

Most of the tinder dates that I go on its always the same day where i start small talk for a few minutes then ask them out. Or I make plans with the person and avoid small talk etc. Not always but most of my successful ones are.

The only time Talking to a girl so much other than to make plans for a future date works in my experience is

1. if she has a boyfriend. If she has a fight with her boyfriend then she will come running to you when she finds out he cheated on her or they have a fight. Thats how woman are from my experience. But i dont mess with girls who have a boyfriend. I say this from experience because two girls that i dated that had guy friends that texted them she ran to them afterwards when i dumped them. i found it funny. how they can text the girl so much and have my ex's still go to them crying after i break up with them. so worked for them texting a girl so much.

2. if she does not speak your language... And you wont be able to talk to her during your date anyways. Then you can text more and then use body language and charisma, and some dance moves to wheel her in back to your place .


but I also dont have text game. Maybe if your text game is 10/10 it will work for you. but its not for me. i make plans for texting only...
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2019 03:56 PM by TravelingBodybuilder.)
02-19-2019 03:51 PM
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