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Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
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BadBoyGamer Offline
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Post: #201
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
Quote:but I will also interrogate the facts and assertions presented.

Always be skeptical, always ask questions, always be prepared to change mind.


Quote:Or are you talking about the 80/20 thing being the obscure redpill idea?

Consider the whole Red Pill to be some obscure internet thingy. The subreddit actually got quarantined.

Quote:I'm sure that if asked, any guy would want a harem of 10s attending to his every whim. But the reality of the effort involved, question of ulterior motives, and the natural upper limit of ones potential keeps men more realistic.

Yes. Most men dream about a harem of hotties. Most men also will deny this dream, especially in the presence of woman. For in their mind this dream is something to be ashamed about. And something utterly unrelistic. However many guys on this forum know that with hard work and discipline many dreams can be made true. Including the dream of having a harem of hotties.

Quote:In a "perfect" world, from a women's perspective, they would only sleep with the top men.

Yes.

Quote:I certainly hope no one thinks it's literally 20% of men sleeping with most women.

This makes for an interesting argument. I say 20% of men have the potential to sleep with 80% of the woman. Or put it another way; 80% of woman want to sleep with 20% of men. To put it yet another way: You want to be in this 20%!

Quote:I'm a 28 year old virgin

I have been there. Movies been made about me. Internet memes exist about me. You can consider this the biggest problem you have in your life and it deserves your full attention to be resolved. Many people might say "Don't worry, one day you will find someone who will love you." Following such advice will only make things worse.

Quote:The punchline is that keeping up that same confident, joking persona gave me zero success. It was a palpable change in tone when I moved from just casual conversation to asking a woman out.

You can safely assume that this "joking confident" persona is a defense you are hiding behind. A defence used to hide your insecurities and fears behind. And girls are very good at picking up on such things.

Quote:And then we come full circle to the 80/20 thing: the small subset of guys that have the capacity to attract women naturally must have a fairly large intersection with those that "just need game."

A guy who is naturally good with girls does have no reason to learn about Game. Game is developed by and for guys like us. The ones that are not succesful with girls. It provides us with the knowledge and tools to "equalize" the situation. It takes hard work however.

Quote:I also notice a conspicuous lack of ugly PUAs with any success

Yad, Sasha, Torero, Krauser, Style, Mystery, Tyler cannot be described as "hot guys". Certainly not when they just started out. And Roosh looks like a hairy monkey to me. These guys are pucnhing far above their weightclass.

Quote:Put this together and that is what casts doubt on the actual effectiveness of game.

Game needs to be learned and practiced. Some guys only need a handful of tips and trics in order to be succesful with girls. Other guys need to do thousands of painful approaches just to "stop being fucked up".

If you want to learn how to talk to girls in an attractive way then you need to practice talking to girls. Same for sex. In order to learn how to pleasure a girl in bed you need to have sex. You cannot just read a book and "kablam" you become a ladiesman as by magic.

Quote:(I saw your thread about 'the rat,' but I'd like to see more than hearsay)

Most important lesson from the 'rat' is that he was a complete loser in every single way one can be a loser. He still got laid because he approached a great many girls. And one of these girls be stupid enough to sleep with him. If you try long enough, some girl be saying "yes". No matter what.

The most basic advice is something like this:

1) Go to the gym and work ass off. It has many benefits.
2) Eat healthy. Vegetables are good. Candy is bad.
3) Buy some books about Game (use search function to get a list).
4) Approach many many girls.

Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
12-06-2018 06:20 AM
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Post: #202
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
Roosh is kind of different from those guys. Roosh was the first major player who advocated and actually did international travel as a way to get around diminishing male SMV and diminishing returns in the west.

So it didn't really matter if you think him as objectively unattractive if he was going to places in Eastern Europe that had less than 100 foreign male visitors per year (in the 2000s decade).

Of course Eastern Europe is a bit different today. I was doing my first trips to Eastern Europe in 2008. Nowadays the women there have gotten fatter and there's a lot more male competition and a lot of them tend to white knight the girls (by paying them money for sex or sponsoring them). So only in the deepest of 3rd tier places of Eastern Europe can you meet a woman who is impressed that a guy happens to be American or Western.
12-06-2018 06:49 AM
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Post: #203
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
Most game guru's are full of shit selling hopes n dreams to unattractive men desperately clinging to the idea they can progressively acquire a magical skill set as if they were in a roleplaying computer game until they become a level 100 pussy slayer.

A lot of genetically gifted guys also like to believe it wasn't just dumb luck that made them good with women. They like to believe they grinded through hard work and skill they forged into some sort of martial art expertise of landing pussy or are innovative geniuses making extraordinary breakthrough's. Most of the time it was just that they were there at the right time and that they were hot. Some men worked their asses of in the gym to become attractive and call it game.

Roosh is a naturally charismatic guy, intelligent and id imagine very witty with women and able to read the play quickly so to speak. That is good gamesmanship but it also must be noted.

Roosh is 6 foot two (6'2" + is the tingle zone for women) reasonably attractive man with a good head of hair. He has an exotic look for anglosphere and eastern European girls. I read in one of his books his early game was to rub his junk on women on the dance floor so he obviously has big dick game. From further reading Roosh has the sex drive and sexual stamina of a guy popping Viagra and running lines of coke all night. He would exude sexual confidence not all men could or fake even. Roosh is the ideal mate for a club slut looking for an adventurous one night stand. Women aren't completely stupid, they can sniff this shit out.

Would Roosh had been able to pull off the same success if he didn't have these qualities? Would a short, heavily receded hairline man with a normal to low sexdrive and a not particularly aesthetic face be able to learn and replicate game with the same results as Roosh?

I suspect not, but who knows.
12-06-2018 08:43 AM
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Post: #204
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
(12-05-2018 05:53 PM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  Yes, only the opinion of females count. Yes. We want to have sex, cuddles, babies and relations with them after all. When we talk about Alpha/Beta it is about the dualistic nature of female sexuality. About her perception of you. How badly does she desire to be pounded by you?

Attraction might be the wrong word to use here. But woman are generally not attracted to Beta males. It is more a trade deal. As I somewhere else wrote in this topic (quote and link below). I put it a bit simplistic, but it should make it clear. Hopefully.

I actually liked your earlier distinction of Alpha men just getting women for nothing, as it were, whereas Betas have to negotiate for it.

It is a nice, simple idea, a beautiful theory.

However, it's not the case that women are not attracted to the Beta man THEY choose. They may negotiate, but if they get what they want the pussy still gets wet.

Equally, a woman may be dying to fuck an Alpha but he'll still have to "perform", bring the goods to the table.

In their own nature they are very different animals though, LTR and casual sex. As soon as the woman has had the Alpha for casual sex, if he were to enter the LTR zone the negotiation would start with him as well, I suspect.
12-06-2018 09:33 AM
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Post: #205
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
@ Jefferson

Yes. You have the idea.

I do not know how woman feel about Betas in precise terms as I have never been a Beta (I function at the extreme ends of spectrum). Although I made observations about my sisters and their boyfriends. And none of them are attracted to their boyfriends. Or at least do not feel ANY desire for them. It appears, for a casual observer and the boyfriend himself, that they do. But all signals are faked or have an agenda behind it.

I assume that if the Beta is reasonable good looking this will help to make the girl somewhat attracted. Perhaps even make her feel some desire. But this be quickly overshadowed by his behaviours. Displaying a whiff of Alpha certainly helps to not make the situation implode.

(It is a spectrum and highly situational depended)

And yes again on your last paragraph. Woman will try to "betazise" Alpha males when in a long term relation. And if (usually she does) she succeeds her initial attraction and desire will disappear. I have limited expierence here and cannot comment on long term relations too much.

Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
12-06-2018 10:23 AM
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Post: #206
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
It is definitely a spectrum and extremely environment dependent.

Rollo Tomassi writes about this, the example was of a teacher who in HIS classroom was perceived as Alpha, the top dog. However, remove him from the classroom, after he has an affair with a student the teacher lost his job and was no longer Alpha in any way. It can be the environment that makes a man Alpha.

And it's a spectrum in the sense that most men, you as a total Alpha obviously excluded, will display both alpha and beta behaviours in their life. Some men are more on one side of the spectrum than others. It's really rather perplexing. Take Frank Sinatra for instance, who had literally thousands of women lusting after him, come up to him, he was Alpha with many women. However, very Beta with one woman.

Anyway, I have a question for Corsega whose honesty is beyond question. I would like to know this:

In the approach of the Asian business woman you mention on your excellent blog did you use an Alpha frame like Corey displays in the interview, or was it more a subtle engagement of interest, display of affability and high value, good dress sense etc? What do you think helped you to succeed in the approach ultimately?
12-06-2018 11:00 AM
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Post: #207
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
@ Jefferson

Yes, I agree with you fully.

Quote:you as a total Alpha obviously excluded

I wish. I hover in the Alpha/Omega or Sigma/Gamma spectrums (I use these terms for easy of use). I am either dominant Alpha with extreme natural unbreakable frame control or a sad little Omega sitting in corner wishing myself invisible. And sometimes I be a manipulative Gamma worrying about status and at other times I be a Sigma Zen master.

But I never be really Beta.

This is reflected in my interaction with girls. I either dominate the whole thing or I be a pile of insecure piss. Some girls plainly scare the shit out of me. I barely be able to look in their direction. Others are like little children to me.

My greatest enemy is and always has been FEAR! On inside I am a little scared kid crying for his mommy.


Continuation about Beta's...

Hmm...

I would almost go as far as to state that a lot of girls are plainly disgusted by most Betas. This might sound harsh and I doubt it counts for all girls. From observations and limited expierence I cannot really say otherwise.

One of my sisters even states this clearly to me about her boyfriend at the time. She used the word disgusting as well. But he and any other observers would never know. She be holding his hand and giving him kisses in the most sweet and innocent of ways. She be smiling at him lovingly and tells him how much she loves and appreciates him. She be cooking food like a good housewife.

Like a puppy dog he did everything she asked for.

If only he knew about all those bad boys that proceeded him.

I would say, and this is just a personal pet theory, that girls only date Betas because they are depended on them. A good Beta is needed to pay the bills. To provide attention. To show to mom and dad for them to be proud. To not be seen as a "slut" and instead as a "good and virtous girl". And simply because it is expected of them.

And also because only very few Alphas exist (by definition).

Following this little pet theory I would state that: "Woman do not want to date Betas at all. They just do not have an alternative choice. Woman depend on Betas."

And following this, is is not difficult to understand why all those "feminist woman" are so angry all the time. From their point of view they are being forced to date "disgusting men". Even for very hot girls it is difficult to find a somewhat decent Alpha. Considering there are very few Alphas and those Alphas have plenty of options.


Anyone else thinks there is "something" in this idea?

Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
(This post was last modified: 12-06-2018 12:18 PM by BadBoyGamer.)
12-06-2018 12:07 PM
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Post: #208
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
(12-06-2018 11:00 AM)Jefferson Wrote:  In the approach of the Asian business woman you mention on your excellent blog did you use an Alpha frame like Corey displays in the interview, or was it more a subtle engagement of interest, display of affability and high value, good dress sense etc? What do you think helped you to succeed in the approach ultimately?

The latter. Displaying alpha traits through cold approach is much different than displaying alpha traits to girls that already know you, or when you're already in a relationship.

In cold approach, you have to display at least SOME interest. You can't just walk up to a girl and act like a dick and do a bunch of takeaways.

The idiots on TheRedPill subreddit don't understand this, of course.

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12-06-2018 01:31 PM
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Post: #209
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
Thanks Corsega, that is what I thought, for a cold approach it is more engagement of interest, affability, demonstrating high value, dress sense and so on that are more important.

However, you think that displaying Alpha traits to girls you already know is important?

@Badboygamer

Yes, fear and desire both need to be conquered, or harnessed as it were. Can take a lifetime, usually does.

You certainly have a point there are very few Alphas. But I wouldn't extrapolate from the way your sister treated her bf that a woman who chooses a Beta is 'digusted' by him. How could they live together for many years if that were the case, how could her pussy get wet when they fuck if that were the case? Probably most women lust after an Alpha but also are not disgusted by their Beta.

To say women don't want Betas at all, they just want them because they need them, I don't know, it's a bit extreme. Many unions with Betas last a lifetime after all, or longer than decades.
12-06-2018 02:01 PM
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Post: #210
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
The vast majority of 7/10 middle class 22 year old women just want a nice boyfriend, not a drug dealer for one-off bangs.

Some of you guys read way too much Krauser etc. "Secret society" and so on is hilarious.

Edit: Krauser etc marketing. Marketing being the key word. Most guys who get into game get into it to get a girlfriend, those who don't simply want to make up for lost time because they didn't have girlfriends when they were teenagers and students. Very few men genuinely want to 'build a harem' and other such stuff.

@BadBoyGamer: stop talking in Short. Curt. Sentences. To make yourself seem like an authority. When. You've only been here. For three months.

If you've never met a forum member - I'll assume you're lying
(This post was last modified: 12-06-2018 03:58 PM by Teedub.)
12-06-2018 03:34 PM
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Post: #211
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
(12-06-2018 06:20 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  
Quote:I'm a 28 year old virgin

I have been there. Movies been made about me. Internet memes exist about me. You can consider this the biggest problem you have in your life and it deserves your full attention to be resolved. Many people might say "Don't worry, one day you will find someone who will love you." Following such advice will only make things worse.

Well, it's symptomatic of a larger problem. Step 1 is get healthy and get my career/life in order. I just try to absorb the various information here and game when the opportunity presents itself.


(12-06-2018 06:20 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  
Quote:The punchline is that keeping up that same confident, joking persona gave me zero success. It was a palpable change in tone when I moved from just casual conversation to asking a woman out.

You can safely assume that this "joking confident" persona is a defense you are hiding behind. A defence used to hide your insecurities and fears behind. And girls are very good at picking up on such things.

It's possible. Through the magic of anonymity, I can be fairly honest here: I've seen a few therapists, one diagnosed me as ASPD, the other as a classic narcissist with sociopathic tendencies. Even when I was young I knew I was a bit "off" compared to everyone else, so I adopted a highly agreeable persona and it has become almost a habit. So in recent years I have been trying to shed that persona and be more of myself. I'm still witty and confident, but I am much less willing to suffer the bullshit of the morons around me; but it's a work in progress.

One interesting discovery I made about myself is the need for a narcissistic supply. I don't want to attract a woman just to have sex with me, I need her to be dependent on me. I have approached friendships in the same way and I think that may have been the reason that they rarely lasted and were rarely close. I put myself in the position of being overly generous because I thought that would make people indebted to me and subsequently bind them to me. It was largely due to the fact that I was a really self-loathing person and based my worth on how I could affect the lives of others. Combined with my previous point of realizing my natural thoughts were not normal, it made me into a serial nice guy. That came off as someone needy, although it was not my intent. I'm sure remnants of that are still noticeable within my behavior, and I don't have the natural attractiveness to encourage others to put a positive spin on that.



(12-06-2018 06:20 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  
Quote:I also notice a conspicuous lack of ugly PUAs with any success

Yad, Sasha, Torero, Krauser, Style, Mystery, Tyler cannot be described as "hot guys". Certainly not when they just started out. And Roosh looks like a hairy monkey to me. These guys are pucnhing far above their weightclass.

I suspect it is similar to a log(x) curve when determining if you are attractive enough for a woman. If you're a 5+/10 (for example) you're going to be on a similar level, but a rapid drop-off occurs below that. At least this is what I observe; I see my friends that are of a similar attractiveness to me with ogres, while the guys only slightly higher up run the gamut of normal to good looking women.

I also suspect that there is a disparity between the kind of guy I want to look like and the kind of guy women find attractive. But fat is its own, special kind of ugly, so I've got to deal with that first.

(12-06-2018 06:20 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  If you want to learn how to talk to girls in an attractive way then you need to practice talking to girls. Same for sex. In order to learn how to pleasure a girl in bed you need to have sex. You cannot just read a book and "kablam" you become a ladiesman as by magic.

Of course not, like Aszhaeleos said, skill books can only raise your pussy slayer level by so much before you need to start grinding. Although I heard that multiclassing into "rich guy" could work, too.
12-06-2018 04:06 PM
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Post: #212
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
I've been a successful Beta all my life. The type that gets decent to even good looking women but had to work hard to keep them.

The problem is, men don't WANT to be betas but turn into betas due to the following. (usually in this order as well)

1. Growing up with a fear of women due to boys hanging with boy and girls hanging with girls. Usually, around age 7-10 the girls start outcasting certain boys and socialize with "the cool kids".

2. Boys start watching romantic comedies or shows where the 10/10 girl gets dumped, mistreated, hurt, or manipulated by the "JERK/Bad BOY" and the nerdy or weaker guy wins her over and has is prize at the end of the day.

3. Guys feel like they should win over these girls, through gifts, or praise, or being that helping hand/listening ear. They feel the best way to get girls is to be her friend and show her how great life is with him instead of some jerk that doesn't treat her right.

4. Guys start realizing this shit doesn't work. So they decide to research "how to get a girlfriend" this usually leads them to blue pilled BS (sometimes even a girl giving advice). This advice and research tend to say thing like "JUST BE YOURSELF" "BE NICE TO HER" "LISTEN TO HER" "FEEL WITH HER" "BE....HER.....FRIEND".....this due to confirmation bias tells these guys that what they were doing works, they're just missing a piece of the
puzzle...."maybe I should spend more money on her" "maybe I should help her more" "maybe I should put my feelings aside and be there FOR HER".

5. Usually, 4 gets them a pity girlfriend or pity sex over time. Then is rinse and repeat, failure after failure until they're indoctrinated. They're completely against the ideas of masculinity and game. If sex doesn't occur then these guys become incels, Blaming everything on looks or on the girls for their lack of intelligence when picking these guys.

6. The guy finally gets a girlfriend that actually likes him. However, his beta tendencies and insecurities ruin the relationship. SHe acts totally different and loses all respect for him, maybe she stays due to how well he treats her but now she's prone to cheat. The sex isn't exciting anymore, she gets lazy and bored in bed, the spark is gone. That sense of fun and adventure leaves as the guy tries harder and harder to save a failed relationship that he doesn't even know he ruined. This could end in many ways, with most guys turning into MGTOW or some other group that feels victimized.

Entry-level game (such as basedzues, RTDTod, maybe even Neil Strauss) works because it helps these guys get girlfriends. These guys don't want a harem, these guys don't want to use girls as a source of happiness. These guys want a woman who can complete them. They haven't taken or maybe simply rejected the red pill because of the desire to have a happy relationship. The inner game is still broken so they might be successful at getting a woman BUT that relationship is exposed. The beta tendencies will continue to show.
12-06-2018 06:01 PM
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Post: #213
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
Speaking of Alpha vs Beta .
For all of the guys commented here, have you ever told a girl to put her phone down in assertive, confident tone while looking into her eyes ?
I did it one time, and the look on the chick face was priceless . I bet she became wet at the moment.

Do this test , and you'll know for sure becoming Alpha is way better than becoming beta
12-06-2018 06:54 PM
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Post: #214
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
(12-06-2018 06:54 PM)Anchor Man Wrote:  Speaking of Alpha vs Beta .
For all of the guys commented here, have you ever told a girl to put her phone down in assertive, confident tone while looking into her eyes ?
I did it one time, and the look on the chick face was priceless . I bet she became wet at the moment.

Do this test , and you'll know for sure becoming Alpha is way better than becoming beta

Thing is, you have to present an alpha male persona beforehand. If she doesn't respect you, then she'll laugh at you.
12-06-2018 10:47 PM
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Post: #215
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
(12-06-2018 06:54 PM)Anchor Man Wrote:  Speaking of Alpha vs Beta .
For all of the guys commented here, have you ever told a girl to put her phone down in assertive, confident tone while looking into her eyes ?
I did it one time, and the look on the chick face was priceless . I bet she became wet at the moment.

Do this test , and you'll know for sure becoming Alpha is way better than becoming beta

If she was truly interested in you she wouldn't have had her phone out to begin with
12-06-2018 11:04 PM
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Post: #216
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
(12-06-2018 11:04 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  
(12-06-2018 06:54 PM)Anchor Man Wrote:  Speaking of Alpha vs Beta .
For all of the guys commented here, have you ever told a girl to put her phone down in assertive, confident tone while looking into her eyes ?
I did it one time, and the look on the chick face was priceless . I bet she became wet at the moment.

Do this test , and you'll know for sure becoming Alpha is way better than becoming beta

If she was truly interested in you she wouldn't have had her phone out to begin with
True! but also you have to remember you encounter "yes girls " and "maybe girls" . She was one of the maybe .

Btw, I know your next line. It will be why would I bother with a maybe girl .
12-06-2018 11:39 PM
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Post: #217
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
(12-06-2018 10:47 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  
(12-06-2018 06:54 PM)Anchor Man Wrote:  Speaking of Alpha vs Beta .
For all of the guys commented here, have you ever told a girl to put her phone down in assertive, confident tone while looking into her eyes ?
I did it one time, and the look on the chick face was priceless . I bet she became wet at the moment.

Do this test , and you'll know for sure becoming Alpha is way better than becoming beta

Thing is, you have to present an alpha male persona beforehand. If she doesn't respect you, then she'll laugh at you.

100% correct. You are not going to act like a monkey and low value guy , then try to command respect.
You are a well-put together guy who stands up for her.
12-06-2018 11:43 PM
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Post: #218
RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
corsega Wrote:The idiots on TheRedPill subreddit don't understand this, of course.

Funny you say this. Only useful thing I found about the sub is the sidebar. Because it contains hyperlinks to some interesting reading material elsewhere. I also think 95% of people there do not know a thing about Game. Way too much anger anyway.

I consider the Red Pill to be just a bunch of (flawed and obscure) ideas and theories. However these ideas and theories do have some basis in reality. Rollo is the guy who describes these ideas the best and is most consistent.

Jefferson Wrote:But I wouldn't extrapolate from the way your sister treated her bf that a woman who chooses a Beta is 'digusted' by him.

Yes, I agree.

It demonstrates however that a woman CAN have a boyfriend she feels disgusted by. And is still able to act and behave as if this not be the case. Or to say it while removing the extreme; She can have a boyfriend she is not attracted to. Or at least is able to be with a boyfriend she does not feel any desire for.

Jefferson Wrote:Many unions with Betas last a lifetime after all, or longer than decades.

My grandparents be married for more than 70 years.


Teedub Wrote:@BadBoyGamer: stop talking in Short. Curt. Sentences.

I hide behind fact that I am a non native English speaker and find short sentences easier to write than long ones. I am tempted to split previous sentence in two.

You will also notice I do not use contractions a lot. "I am" instead of "I'm" or "Do not" instead of "Don't". To me it looks ugly otherwise.

I also dislike the fact that "I" is a capital letter in the English language. It almost sounds arrogant. It took me a long time to not write "i".


Anchor Man Wrote:For all of the guys commented here, have you ever told a girl to put her phone down in assertive, confident tone while looking into her eyes ?

I do have habit of telling girls to put down sunglasses. Not being able to look into her eyes annoys me.

Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2018 10:15 AM by BadBoyGamer.)
12-07-2018 10:14 AM
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RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
(12-07-2018 10:14 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  Yes, I agree.

It demonstrates however that a woman CAN have a boyfriend she feels disgusted by. And is still able to act and behave as if this not be the case. Or to say it while removing the extreme; She can have a boyfriend she is not attracted to. Or at least is able to be with a boyfriend she does not feel any desire for.

That is indeed interesting. I wonder if there were any point to question her, 'say how do you feel about your bf'. Perhaps she would rationalise it somehow. She'd be unlikely to say 'he disgusts me'. If she did you'd be able to ask her why she is with him, her answer should be even more interesting.

(12-07-2018 10:14 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  My grandparents be married for more than 70 years.

I was wondering how Bush Sr and Barbara could stay together for 66 years. And then it hit me. He was the first man Barbara ever had. She was never disappointed. How about your Grandma, was your grandfather the first she ever had? I think that was more common in the past, when marrying a virgin was more important.
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2018 10:28 AM by Jefferson.)
12-07-2018 10:28 AM
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RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
Jefferson Wrote:If she did you'd be able to ask her why she is with him, her answer should be even more interesting.

I asked. She went with him for multiple reasons;

1) She wanted to marry in order to make our father happy. Because watching her marry with a good boyfriend is all he wants for her. At least that is how she looks at it.
2) He owned a car and was able and willing to drive her around.
3) He was willing to pay bills and take her out for dinner. Something she is unable to pay for herself.

She stated that she was disgusted by him and pointed out;
1) He is ugly
2) She is not attracted
3) She does not like to have sex with him

EDIT: Since then she had multiple boyfriends. She wants that marriage, but the boyfriends bail out before she can properly lock them down.

Jefferson Wrote:How about your Grandma, was your grandfather the first she ever had? I think that was more common in the past, when marrying a virgin was more important.

My grandfather was a young soldier during second world war (defending one of old colonies). Grandmother was 16 year old when they met. They married one year later. Back in those days things where very different from now.

Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2018 11:00 AM by BadBoyGamer.)
12-07-2018 10:58 AM
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RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
Wow, she is honest about it then. She wants to be married to a guy she thinks is ugly and does not like to have sex with?

That's really interesting.

So just like I thought, your grandfather was the first man your grandmother had. I think that's the key to longevity, the woman is married to the first man she is involved with.
12-07-2018 11:01 AM
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RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
Jefferson Wrote:Wow, she is honest about it then. She wants to be married to a guy she thinks is ugly and does not like to have sex with?

She is a bit of a special case. But yes. Above three requirements are more important. Obviously she wants a whole lot better, but finding a guy is getting increasingly more difficult.

The honesty is a double edged sword. She is honest to me, because when things go to shit with one of the "bad boys" she dates, I am the one who has to "resolve" the situation.

We guys seem to think that it is easy for a girl to find a boyfriend. Plenty guys desperate for it and be standing in line for it even. At least that is our perspective. But I do not think this is true from the perspective of a girl. All my sisters have lots of trouble with it in their own ways.

And my parents (never married) have never been in relations that involved attraction and desire. All was based around the practicalities of life. My mother married because she just NEEDS a man. Plain and simple.

The woman that went in relationships with my father all did it because of his money and practical reasons. Certainly NOT because he is attractive or because he makes for a good father.

To conclude I just say I do not mean this as all "doom and gloom". Just that many relationships seem to exist for more practical reasons. Sometimes it is just plainly about having companionship. Or for basic financial reasons, like paying bills. Sometimes people just NEED it. Like my mother who cannot function on her own.

Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
12-07-2018 11:48 AM
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RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
(12-07-2018 11:48 AM)BadBoyFlamer Wrote:  At least that is our perspective. But I do not think this is true from the perspective of a girl.

'Cause they are spoiled for too many choices.
12-07-2018 12:31 PM
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RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
(12-07-2018 11:48 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  We guys seem to think that it is easy for a girl to find a boyfriend. Plenty guys desperate for it and be standing in line for it even. At least that is our perspective. But I do not think this is true from the perspective of a girl. All my sisters have lots of trouble with it in their own ways.

Interesting view from the inside.

They have to find that best male for the precious egg. Anatomy is destiny.
12-07-2018 02:43 PM
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RE: Please explain to me where this 80/20, Chad theory comes from
https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments...ow_effort/

So how do we explain this? Now he isn't the hottest guy in the world but a lot of data sheets like him report getting less than a 9% match rate on Tinder.

It seems like the 80/20 rule was probably true for Generation X. It's likely 95/5 or 98/2 (especially on Tinder).
12-08-2018 01:04 PM
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