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When should i drop the bomb on my wife
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Rocha Offline
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Post: #101
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
She looks like a keeper. Good looking, intelligent, good in bed, makes 500k a year...This is the dream of many men, plus she is the mother of your child...What else do you want? If you did not liked that she did not hugged you or kissed you when you came from business trip, you should have confronted her on the spot...be brutally honest, don't keep things in grey areas.

Keep that marriage going, and keep banging those younger sluts on the side (Yes, I am a savage that belongs to the African jungle).

Guys should start to value more what they have, instead of what they don't have.

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12-03-2018 09:25 AM
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Baphomet Offline
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Post: #102
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-02-2018 04:38 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  
(12-01-2018 02:34 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  been with married to her 5 years and with her a total of 8. have one child whom i love like no person or thing i've loved before
...

OP is a larper or a liar. (and a troll...)

You couldn't drag me away from my kids with wild horses. Police would have to be called, and not an insubstantial number of them.

I'm starting to think he's a troll. Makes 150k and his wife makes a half a mil but he can't grapple with basic punctuation? Still washing his own dishes? Righto.

Wife is half way to being a CEO but she's definitely not smart enough to know he's cheating.

After a couple of pages does this shit sound credible?

Post an ATM receipt with the particulars scrubbed and RVF written on it. Regardless, troll or not, guys like PPT always manage to turn even larper threads into teachable moments.

p.s. Women earning more than a man is not a game-breaker. Women have been functionally slaves since the dawn of time. Plenty of jobless deadbeats have millionaire bitches dropping car keys in their lap and saying "thankyou" for the privilege. It only goes to shit when you adopt the mindset of the house-ho.

Please re-read the self-introduction of this "successful PUA that’s been with somewhere between 150-200 women."

https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-70473.html
12-03-2018 09:57 AM
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doc holliday Offline
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Post: #103
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-03-2018 09:25 AM)Rocha Wrote:  She looks like a keeper. Good looking, intelligent, good in bed, makes 500k a year...This is the dream of many men, plus she is the mother of your child...What else do you want? If you did not liked that she did not hugged you or kissed you when you came from business trip, you should have confronted her on the spot...be brutally honest, don't keep things in grey areas.

Keep that marriage going, and keep banging those younger sluts on the side (Yes, I am a savage that belongs to the African jungle).

Guys should start to value more what they have, instead of what they don't have.

Problem is that these two things cannot coexist. A good marriage does not include banging young skanks on the side, it's one or the other. Agree with being honest with her and valuing what you have.
12-03-2018 10:55 AM
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Jetset Offline
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Post: #104
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
I haven't read this entire thread, but one word explains a lot of this:

Hormones.

She's 41, changed after the kid, vanilla sex, not as physically affectionate, acting "masculine". Take her to the mechanic and get the oil checked, rule that shit out, be prepared for the possibility that you need to trade her in for a younger model.

(UNLESS she knows you're cheating, in which case, if that's how she responds... Be prepared for the possibility that you need to trade her in...)

"He always wanted to drift forever, but through the American Southwest."
(This post was last modified: 12-03-2018 12:40 PM by Jetset.)
12-03-2018 11:51 AM
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Laner Offline
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Post: #105
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
Not much to say here, too much good advice and experience already.

I will say this, expecting your wife to come running toward you and jump into your arms is bullshit. Life isn't a romcom on netflix, it requires some actual selflessness. You want kissies and snuggles after a week away? Go fucking get them, and don't take no for an answer. You grab her and pick her up even through all the struggling. Get her squeeling and wait for your kid to come running with pure love dancing in their eyes.

Women are insane multi taskers and much of my job is to interrupt her steam engine of a brain as it chugs along on 100 things a minute. If you see her brow furrowed in concentration, that moment is the time to pick her up crush her in a bear hug and neck kisses.

Some guys picture themselves coming home to a running wife full of kisses and hugs, kids dancing out to greet them, dog fetching their slippers and chickadees landing on their shoulders in some Disney fantasy of what it is to be a King of the Home. These guys are fags.
12-03-2018 02:05 PM
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quaker13 Offline
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Post: #106
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-03-2018 08:48 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  
(12-02-2018 11:54 AM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  Edit: 16K in checking and a bit more in savings? Fuck. I thought I was bad with financial planning and make about the same as you....

I wasn't going to say anything, but...

Agree2

LMAO yes that's correct. Student loans are bitch bro lol. We have a good bit we can liquidate through our investments and but our savings could be a lot better than appx 70k in there now. Fortunately, are 401k are sorta robust
12-03-2018 04:43 PM
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quaker13 Offline
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Post: #107
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-03-2018 10:55 AM)doc holliday Wrote:  
(12-03-2018 09:25 AM)Rocha Wrote:  She looks like a keeper. Good looking, intelligent, good in bed, makes 500k a year...This is the dream of many men, plus she is the mother of your child...What else do you want? If you did not liked that she did not hugged you or kissed you when you came from business trip, you should have confronted her on the spot...be brutally honest, don't keep things in grey areas.

Keep that marriage going, and keep banging those younger sluts on the side (Yes, I am a savage that belongs to the African jungle).

Guys should start to value more what they have, instead of what they don't have.

Problem is that these two things cannot coexist. A good marriage does not include banging young skanks on the side, it's one or the other. Agree with being honest with her and valuing what you have.

Nah, Im challenging that paradigm there have been too many powerful men and not so powerful men I've known to have a successful marriage(As defined by longevity and the success of children) where the husband routinely stepped out. Sorry I just don't believe in this construct. I would actually be okay with a open marriage, but i know the misses doesn't have the meddle to endure it.
12-03-2018 04:48 PM
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doc holliday Offline
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Post: #108
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
Yeah no doubt that the prospect bringing all sorts of STDs home to your wife is a strong marriage builder. Anyways, it's quite likely that you're already in a open marriage but you just don't know it yet. High powered career women such as your wife will often have affairs at work with guys who are in their income bracket and with whom they are in the trenches with. Her standoffishness with you is a telltale sign. You know, I understand guys that have been married a long time and have done their best in their marriages falling to temptation and messing around. Like I said, marriage is tough so I get that happening. However, guys like you that want to live two totally different lives at the same time, being a player, doing SA etc while at the same time expecting a loving loyal wife who throws you unconditional hugs and kisses and will not care about your parallel life trip me out.

Guys that live the player life while they are married are the type of guys that would be utterly devastated if their wives were having affairs. I truly don't understand guys who want their cake and eat it too and unfortunately I know too many guys like this. Then when their marriages inevitably go south, they look for all sorts of sympathy and want to blame it all on the wife. If you want to just be a player then you ought to just divorce your wife but again, most player wanna be types don't have the courage to be honest with their wives or themselves. It seems like I see more and more guys wanting this lifestyle and it's not good as far as I'm concerned. The kids are the ones that suffer the most but that doesn't seem to enter into the equation a whole lot with these selfish dudes.
(This post was last modified: 12-03-2018 07:51 PM by doc holliday.)
12-03-2018 07:03 PM
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Bucephalus Offline
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Post: #109
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-03-2018 08:28 AM)quaker13 Wrote:  I prefer brutal honesty and you are 1000% correct. When I started this thread a day or two ago I was livid. Now I've calmed down. I do want to make this work, but I haven't been a sucka for a long time and I'm not about to start being one now. I'm open to solutions and at some point in time I will read the "save your marriage" thread that was linked a few posts up.

I still harbor a fair bit of resentment so I know this is going to be an easy process. She thinks she does everything and I can glaldy remind of her of my contributions by leaving for a few days at a time so she can see exactly how valuable i am


@quaker13

If you are genuine about this it would be good to see you post your action plan as it pans out then feedback to the forum as to how it goes. There has been some very solid advice on this thread from veteran posters such as PT, Leonard, EndsExpect, Doc Holliday, Cobra, Dante, and others. Good that you recognise your resentment towards her/the situation and you are willing to get it sorted.

Just to reinforce what has been said already:
- Don't go to counselling, it is relationship zugzwang
- You have a kid; ergo, it is not just in your (and her) interest to salvage this LTR. Not to mention the insane costs (not just financial) of ending a marriage.
- Your marriage has a toxic power differential. This is largely due to income differences. A lot have already advocated for prevention as cure, which I wholeheartedly agree with, although that doesn't really help in your situation.

I work in an industry with a lot of career-grrl types and, although I wouldn't advocate marrying a high-income earner, I can tell you that it is possible to make it work.

Example #1:
2 lawyers, she earning ~150% more than him. They have 3 kids. They share parental duties roughly 50/50. She is dutiful, loving, and faithful to him, and he clearly wears the pants in the relationship. How? He owns social situations – dominates storytelling (hilarious stories about the kids, for example). He is physically dominant - is a big guy, gyms up, surfs, competes in other sports. He builds and renovates– for their house. Not because he is scolded into doing it, but because he loves it. He has his own workshop. He recently build this industrial-sized bunk beds for the kids – they love it.

Example #2
X1 High-level manager (F), married to a graphic designer (M) who is now out of work. They have one toddler. He is a stay at home hubby, she earns a 6-digit salary. I work with her, and met them at a wedding recently. The idea being a full-time house husband would make me want to shoot myself in the face. But this guy owned it. He socially dominated at the wedding, and it was interesting to observe a usually dominant, career-driven girl (how she presents at work), giving him doggy dinner bowl eyes and vying for his attention the entire evening.

In summ:
You want to take ownership of making this marriage work. This means thinking about what is best for your kid and your family and facilitating that.

Lead by example. Assert an "us" frame. Focus on what you can do rather than getting her to change. That will come in time, once your value has been re-established and she can no longer consider you dispensable.

Whatever you do, don't discuss power differentials with her in rational argument. You need to demonstrate leadership through action, not words.

Given your situation, re-establish your social / sexual value in non-monetary ways. This means:

Going to the gym; bulk / tone up. Not only will this increase your physical attractiveness, you will exude a masculine energy and confidence.

Take control of family outings and emotional-building and connection times. Especially where you have a leadership role – hiking / camping / sailing / family BBQ etc. etc. Join other groups for social events that you attend as a family which reinforces your group as a family unit (an "us vs. them") mentality

Love being a father. Don't say this, demonstrate it. Joke to friends (and to her), tell funny stories – tell them not in some awestruck soppy tone but bathe it in hilarity.

Be socially dominant. You say you have game, prove it. I don't mean aggressively slapping down her frame assertions, I mean not reacting to her frame challenges and leading out of self-amusement. When you are at a group dinner, who is holding the figurative microphone? If you are leading the conversation and enabling the group to laugh, watch her admiration for you grow.

Giving her more and more satisfying sex. You have the advantage of enjoying it. But don't except her frame of slow and sensual on every occasion. Romance her, get her drunk, then monkey fuck her and get her to submit (you will need to build up to this as your value in her eyes grow). Nothing will increase the pair-bond like free-flowing post-coital oxytoxcin.

○ Over time you want to assert the frame on the value limitations of money; the concept of money not buying happiness. The concept of working to live, not living to work. This is key as it will demonstrate to her that you don't value her as an income earner but as a loving and dutiful wife and mother; her time at home. How to do this? Again, lead by example: get the family involved in activities that are not costly in dollars but focus on the interpersonal, and on free time (again, camping, BBQs, home renovations). Make friends with families that have kids the same age with similar interests.

Consider engage in a religious/spiritual pursuit – church, for example. Or if you are non-religious, consider a sporting club. If you really want to go all the way, start espousing the values of the frugality movement (there are thousands of blogs – look at Mr Money Mustache's blog, as an example). And of course, you want to replace money-chasing with social connections and community buliding. Social networks are especially powerful influencers on women. Lead her towards a lifestyle she wants to be a part of. If you are buying electronic music equipment and expresso machines then you are selling yourself and your family short.

○ Finally, the domestic chores situation is tricky. I suggest not arguing to her about this but take responsibility for it if she works longer hours. Of course, this means you address it in a way that makes you happy. I would feel extremely gay being a house husband and I would consider spending more hours at work myself and hiring a cleaner / maid (not one that you want to bang).

Keep us updated on what you choose to do and how it goes.

Best,

Bucephalus
12-03-2018 09:29 PM
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quaker13 Offline
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Post: #110
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-03-2018 09:29 PM)Bucephalus Wrote:  
(12-03-2018 08:28 AM)quaker13 Wrote:  I prefer brutal honesty and you are 1000% correct. When I started this thread a day or two ago I was livid. Now I've calmed down. I do want to make this work, but I haven't been a sucka for a long time and I'm not about to start being one now. I'm open to solutions and at some point in time I will read the "save your marriage" thread that was linked a few posts up.

I still harbor a fair bit of resentment so I know this is going to be an easy process. She thinks she does everything and I can glaldy remind of her of my contributions by leaving for a few days at a time so she can see exactly how valuable i am


@quaker13

If you are genuine about this it would be good to see you post your action plan as it pans out then feedback to the forum as to how it goes. There has been some very solid advice on this thread from veteran posters such as PT, Leonard, EndsExpect, Doc Holliday, Cobra, Dante, and others. Good that you recognise your resentment towards her/the situation and you are willing to get it sorted.

Just to reinforce what has been said already:
- Don't go to counselling, it is relationship zugzwang
- You have a kid; ergo, it is not just in your (and her) interest to salvage this LTR. Not to mention the insane costs (not just financial) of ending a marriage.
- Your marriage has a toxic power differential. This is largely due to income differences. A lot have already advocated for prevention as cure, which I wholeheartedly agree with, although that doesn't really help in your situation.

I work in an industry with a lot of career-grrl types and, although I wouldn't advocate marrying a high-income earner, I can tell you that it is possible to make it work.

Example #1:
2 lawyers, she earning ~150% more than him. They have 3 kids. They share parental duties roughly 50/50. She is dutiful, loving, and faithful to him, and he clearly wears the pants in the relationship. How? He owns social situations – dominates storytelling (hilarious stories about the kids, for example). He is physically dominant - is a big guy, gyms up, surfs, competes in other sports. He builds and renovates– for their house. Not because he is scolded into doing it, but because he loves it. He has his own workshop. He recently build this industrial-sized bunk beds for the kids – they love it.

Example #2
X1 High-level manager (F), married to a graphic designer (M) who is now out of work. They have one toddler. He is a stay at home hubby, she earns a 6-digit salary. I work with her, and met them at a wedding recently. The idea being a full-time house husband would make me want to shoot myself in the face. But this guy owned it. He socially dominated at the wedding, and it was interesting to observe a usually dominant, career-driven girl (how she presents at work), giving him doggy dinner bowl eyes and vying for his attention the entire evening.

In summ:
You want to take ownership of making this marriage work. This means thinking about what is best for your kid and your family and facilitating that.

Lead by example. Assert an "us" frame. Focus on what you can do rather than getting her to change. That will come in time, once your value has been re-established and she can no longer consider you dispensable.

Whatever you do, don't discuss power differentials with her in rational argument. You need to demonstrate leadership through action, not words.

Given your situation, re-establish your social / sexual value in non-monetary ways. This means:

Going to the gym; bulk / tone up. Not only will this increase your physical attractiveness, you will exude a masculine energy and confidence.

Take control of family outings and emotional-building and connection times. Especially where you have a leadership role – hiking / camping / sailing / family BBQ etc. etc. Join other groups for social events that you attend as a family which reinforces your group as a family unit (an "us vs. them") mentality

Love being a father. Don't say this, demonstrate it. Joke to friends (and to her), tell funny stories – tell them not in some awestruck soppy tone but bathe it in hilarity.

Be socially dominant. You say you have game, prove it. I don't mean aggressively slapping down her frame assertions, I mean not reacting to her frame challenges and leading out of self-amusement. When you are at a group dinner, who is holding the figurative microphone? If you are leading the conversation and enabling the group to laugh, watch her admiration for you grow.

Giving her more and more satisfying sex. You have the advantage of enjoying it. But don't except her frame of slow and sensual on every occasion. Romance her, get her drunk, then monkey fuck her and get her to submit (you will need to build up to this as your value in her eyes grow). Nothing will increase the pair-bond like free-flowing post-coital oxytoxcin.

○ Over time you want to assert the frame on the value limitations of money; the concept of money not buying happiness. The concept of working to live, not living to work. This is key as it will demonstrate to her that you don't value her as an income earner but as a loving and dutiful wife and mother; her time at home. How to do this? Again, lead by example: get the family involved in activities that are not costly in dollars but focus on the interpersonal, and on free time (again, camping, BBQs, home renovations). Make friends with families that have kids the same age with similar interests.

Consider engage in a religious/spiritual pursuit – church, for example. Or if you are non-religious, consider a sporting club. If you really want to go all the way, start espousing the values of the frugality movement (there are thousands of blogs – look at Mr Money Mustache's blog, as an example). And of course, you want to replace money-chasing with social connections and community buliding. Social networks are especially powerful influencers on women. Lead her towards a lifestyle she wants to be a part of. If you are buying electronic music equipment and expresso machines then you are selling yourself and your family short.

○ Finally, the domestic chores situation is tricky. I suggest not arguing to her about this but take responsibility for it if she works longer hours. Of course, this means you address it in a way that makes you happy. I would feel extremely gay being a house husband and I would consider spending more hours at work myself and hiring a cleaner / maid (not one that you want to bang).

Keep us updated on what you choose to do and how it goes.

Best,

Bucephalus

I appreciate your words and all though I am doing most of the bullet points listed I have absolute no history of planning, suggesting and controlling family outings. None. I can certainly change this.
12-03-2018 10:47 PM
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Post: #111
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-03-2018 09:29 PM)Bucephalus Wrote:  ○ Finally, the domestic chores situation is tricky. I suggest not arguing to her about this but take responsibility for it if she works longer hours. Of course, this means you address it in a way that makes you happy.

You have the money to pay a maid to do the chores, this will prevent you losing frame doing them. Never do them, refuse.

Demand a maid. Men don't do housework, thats a pussy drier.
12-04-2018 03:33 AM
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Lino Offline
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Post: #112
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-70473-page-2.html

« I'm back fellas. Just got off the phone with the ex and I'll be seeing her tonight and tomorrow. Prior to today I was being far too candid with how I feel about her. She never pulled back, but at the rate I was going any female wouldve pulled back eventually. We have a pretty candid relationship and I was getting a little jealous when she would tell me about her dates. I didn't like other people spending time with her, but luckily I never voiced my displeasure with it. After I made this post earlier in the week I got slapped in the face with reality by a number of folks on this thread. I didn't like that I liked her so much. I liked her as much as she likes me, maybe even more and that's always a relationship dynamic no-no. I've since toughened up. I still like her, maybe even love her but I have to pull back. I went out with a 24 year old Wednesday and the bitch was fucking smoking. Told the ex about it and of course she wasn't happy, but in the very same conversation she agreed to spend the weekend with me lol women »

So this message was written by a married man with a kid who behaves as if they didn’t exist...a few months later he complains that his wife isn’t submissive and warm but his own behaviour has nothing to do with it and it’s all her fault...

You landed a high quality woman, smart, sweet, hard worker and successful and you neglected her, it’s obvious that you did. In the above copied text you were saying you were probably in love with your ex, planning to go on a weekend with her and at the same time dating a 24 yo girl Smile, do you really believe your wife is dumb enough to not notice your emotional disengagement ?

Being tall, attractive and having a career isn’t enough to keep the flame burning between you, if she feels you are there without being there, pretending being nice to her but deep inside you not giving a shit because « you are the prize and she’s lucky she’s with a guy like you » then no wonder why she’s becoming cold, she’s probably wondering if she did the right choice marrying you, maybe she’s even thinking about when to drop the bomb on you.

Another problem is that maybe you chosed your wife for the wrong reasons, was there any passion and deep love at the beginning? Or was she simply checking all the boxes (attractive, educated, wealthy and kind)?

Unlike many others, I don’t think money and power is a big factor in the problem, it looks like OP wants to stay a playboy forever and underestimates the intuition of his wife. I am not white knighting but it seems she is in a trickier situation than you, she’s married to a guy who fucks around, is even in love with an ex, but she is trapped because she has a kid with that guy and a divorce is a failure, especially for a woman who had success in everything she did.

If you care about her, try this: be faithful for some time, focus on improving your sexual life with her, bring back some romance in your couple and show her that she’s important to you. Seeing you doing this, she’ll naturally become warmer.

Hopefully it’s not too late, I wish you good luck.

Ps: apologies if this post comes along as judgemental or harsh, I am genuinely trying to help, no kid deserves to be raised in a single parent family.
12-04-2018 07:30 AM
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Post: #113
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-04-2018 07:30 AM)Lino Wrote:  https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-70473-page-2.html

« I'm back fellas. Just got off the phone with the ex and I'll be seeing her tonight and tomorrow. Prior to today I was being far too candid with how I feel about her. She never pulled back, but at the rate I was going any female wouldve pulled back eventually. We have a pretty candid relationship and I was getting a little jealous when she would tell me about her dates. I didn't like other people spending time with her, but luckily I never voiced my displeasure with it. After I made this post earlier in the week I got slapped in the face with reality by a number of folks on this thread. I didn't like that I liked her so much. I liked her as much as she likes me, maybe even more and that's always a relationship dynamic no-no. I've since toughened up. I still like her, maybe even love her but I have to pull back. I went out with a 24 year old Wednesday and the bitch was fucking smoking. Told the ex about it and of course she wasn't happy, but in the very same conversation she agreed to spend the weekend with me lol women »

So this message was written by a married man with a kid who behaves as if they didn’t exist...a few months later he complains that his wife isn’t submissive and warm but his own behaviour has nothing to do with it and it’s all her fault...

You landed a high quality woman, smart, sweet, hard worker and successful and you neglected her, it’s obvious that you did. In the above copied text you were saying you were probably in love with your ex, planning to go on a weekend with her and at the same time dating a 24 yo girl Smile, do you really believe your wife is dumb enough to not notice your emotional disengagement ?

Being tall, attractive and having a career isn’t enough to keep the flame burning between you, if she feels you are there without being there, pretending being nice to her but deep inside you not giving a shit because « you are the prize and she’s lucky she’s with a guy like you » then no wonder why she’s becoming cold, she’s probably wondering if she did the right choice marrying you, maybe she’s even thinking about when to drop the bomb on you.

Another problem is that maybe you chosed your wife for the wrong reasons, was there any passion and deep love at the beginning? Or was she simply checking all the boxes (attractive, educated, wealthy and kind)?

Unlike many others, I don’t think money and power is a big factor in the problem, it looks like OP wants to stay a playboy forever and underestimates the intuition of his wife. I am not white knighting but it seems she is in a trickier situation than you, she’s married to a guy who fucks around, is even in love with an ex, but she is trapped because she has a kid with that guy and a divorce is a failure, especially for a woman who had success in everything she did.

If you care about her, try this: be faithful for some time, focus on improving your sexual life with her, bring back some romance in your couple and show her that she’s important to you. Seeing you doing this, she’ll naturally become warmer.

Hopefully it’s not too late, I wish you good luck.

Ps: apologies if this post comes along as judgmental or harsh, I am genuinely trying to help, no kid deserves to be raised in a single parent family.

Do not apologize, I appreciate your sentiments. I have been faithful to her for long stretches and I didn't see any real difference, maybe I'm not being objective.

When I wrote the paragraph you linked I was certainly not in a good place and while I was in that "sunken" place a blast from past resurfaced unprompted. I still wanna make it work and I have to remind myself that things aren't always easy with life in general, but when I reach critical mass of unhappiness that's all she wrote.
12-04-2018 10:37 AM
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Post: #114
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
If the problem still is her acting like a man, maybe treating her like a man is a good answer. If she's still interested, she could realize, that her female role felt better.
12-05-2018 11:44 AM
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Post: #115
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-01-2018 02:34 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  been with married to her 5 years and with her a total of 8. have one child whom i love like no person or thing i've loved before

those that know me know my wife makes a fair bit more than me. 500k to my 150k. when we were dating she was so feminine she could have given a man with a perfectly healthy smile multiple cavities she was so sweet. Since the child the bitch has become extremely masculine. I really can't take it. I got back from a week long business trip recently and the bitch didn't even greet me at the door when i returned, nor did she initiate a hug or kiss when i saw her a few seconds later in the house.

She knows i can get women, but not just any kinda women high quality women. When ever we go to her office functions she is visibly proud to be married to me, but at home this isn't the case. `

She knows i didn't marry her for money, so i can't imagine she would think that would be cause for me to stay. I can do just fine on my litttle 150k, as a matter of fact i could probably earn more by taking up a parttime job. I could easily get another one of her, but she couldn't get another one of me with any reasonable efficiency. She married a tall handsome educated man with game and a career and this is the horseshit im dealing with. Obviously, I would have never even remotely considered this had she behaved this way before marriage.

The wave im currently riding is getting close to the breaking point. We have done pre and post marital counseling and still do post marital counseling once a month but the lame ass counselor isnt helping.

How should i move forward? Should i tell the bitch im leaving, should i tell her im close to leaving, should i just get missing for 24 hours?

I grew up in a family EXACTLY the same as you described. Over time, my mom turned into a dad and my dad turned into a soulless pussy.

I wouldn't wish my childhood upon my worst enemy. Please do the kid a favor and get a divorce.

“Our great danger is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.” ― Rollo Tomassi
12-05-2018 05:17 PM
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Post: #116
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
Your dad was sackless and you blame your mother for becoming the man of the house?

Christ, I hope you inherited your masculinity from her side of the family.

What's with all the sackless deadbeats that think splitting a family is no big deal? You guys realise that this kind of thinking is the male version of no-fault divorce from slut feminists, right?

I mean, there are thousands of despicable cunts we here justly despise having this exact same conversation right now only with the genders reversed.

"He doesn't bring me flowers anymore, and the cute barrista down the road says I deserve better..."

"Go, girl! You're still young and if he ain't treating you right you should find a man who's gonna make you feel like a queen!"

Faggotry. Grow the fuck up.

Take advantage of the decline.
Bitch about the decline.
Choose one.
(This post was last modified: 12-05-2018 09:21 PM by Leonard D Neubache.)
12-05-2018 09:08 PM
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Post: #117
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-05-2018 09:08 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Your dad was sackless and you blame your mother for becoming the man of the house?

Christ, I hope you inherited your masculinity from her side of the family.

What's with all the sackless deadbeats that think splitting a family is no big deal? You guys realise that this kind of thinking is the male version of no-fault divorce from slut feminists, right?

I mean, there are thousands of despicable cunts we here justly despise having this exact same conversation right now only with the genders reversed.

"He doesn't bring me flowers anymore, and the cute barrista down the road says I deserve better..."

"Go, girl! You're still young and if he ain't treating you right you should find a man who's gonna make you feel like a queen!"

Faggotry. Grow the fuck up.

Why is divorce and and being an active enthusiastic father mutually exclusive in your mind?
12-05-2018 11:21 PM
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Post: #118
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-05-2018 09:08 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Your dad was sackless and you blame your mother for becoming the man of the house?

Christ, I hope you inherited your masculinity from her side of the family.

What's with all the sackless deadbeats that think splitting a family is no big deal? You guys realise that this kind of thinking is the male version of no-fault divorce from slut feminists, right?

I mean, there are thousands of despicable cunts we here justly despise having this exact same conversation right now only with the genders reversed.

"He doesn't bring me flowers anymore, and the cute barrista down the road says I deserve better..."

"Go, girl! You're still young and if he ain't treating you right you should find a man who's gonna make you feel like a queen!"

Faggotry. Grow the fuck up.

delete
(This post was last modified: 12-06-2018 01:21 AM by HankMoody.)
12-06-2018 12:59 AM
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Post: #119
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-05-2018 11:21 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  
(12-05-2018 09:08 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Your dad was sackless and you blame your mother for becoming the man of the house?

Christ, I hope you inherited your masculinity from her side of the family.

What's with all the sackless deadbeats that think splitting a family is no big deal? You guys realise that this kind of thinking is the male version of no-fault divorce from slut feminists, right?

I mean, there are thousands of despicable cunts we here justly despise having this exact same conversation right now only with the genders reversed.

"He doesn't bring me flowers anymore, and the cute barrista down the road says I deserve better..."

"Go, girl! You're still young and if he ain't treating you right you should find a man who's gonna make you feel like a queen!"

Faggotry. Grow the fuck up.

Why is divorce and and being an active enthusiastic father mutually exclusive in your mind?

It's not.

Leonard is involved in an internet chatroom to discuss other RVF members and "call bullshit." That is what you're dealing with. "Dudes" who spend their day talking about other dudes. She isn't worth addressing.

That out of the way, many men are divorced and maintain healthy relationships with their children. A lot of it depends on how amicable you are with the wife. (I don't have kids with the ex-wife, but if we did, it would be fine. At this point, she would probably want time to herself, honestly). It changes over time, too. When your kid is young, the mom wants every second to herself. As they age, the attachment lessens and they want more free time.

The hard part is the court system, which greatly favors women. Custody is a bitch for men. You can spend an absolute fortune arguing over something simple -- like one extra night a week of custody.

Plus, if she makes fake accusations about anything, you're in for a long ride.

Even if you win.
(This post was last modified: 12-06-2018 01:23 AM by HankMoody.)
12-06-2018 01:20 AM
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Post: #120
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
I'm gonna respect members rep counts here. No matter which side you take on this situation, i think both sides have a point. You have high reps because you offer valuable insights to the forum. Lets all respect eachothers opinions.

Ive read this thread from the beginning and the first post that struck my chord was winsdom earle? Sorry if i got his name wrong.

Newbie, like myself(longtime lurker) claims his wife is cold. Meanwhile he's banging side sluts.

She's the breadwinner making half a million per.

She's hot for 40, they have a kid but he's not fulfilled because she doesnt worship him and do ass2mouth upon request.

Dude doesn't respect his wife despite the fact she's making fat stacks, raising his kid, and being loyal(he never brought up any suspected infidelity), yet he's bashing her for being cold while fucking other bitches. You think she can't sniff that out? C'mon man. Like a poster said earlier. Can't have your cake and it eat too. If you want a divorce whatever man. But don't blame it on her when in reality you just wanna be a player and you feel guilty evertime you come home after fucking someone elses wife.
12-06-2018 01:34 AM
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Post: #121
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
Being a dad is being a big reset button. Every fucking day. The world is dead set on programming your kids, and if you stop paying attention, your kids will lose.

If I am away for even a few days, I get back and the difference is startling. And my wife is a very aware and red pilled mother. But she is a woman, and she will raise kids in the way that her instincts tell her.

If I was divorced with my schedule, I would see my son on Sundays. No way would I drive to my exes place every day at 7 to read a book I chose, to him before bed.

I get it though, kids can get fucked up by living in a fucked up home with two parents present. And fatherhood is hard work and maintaining frame can be exhausting after a stressful day at work so I understand many dads who say forget it and let their wives have their way.

But getting their way is not what they want. And if they do, they will probably get a shot of testosterone while at the same time your balls will shrink a little more.

Being a dad is not a part time job. It can be, but if you are in this for the future of your family, you are failing.
12-06-2018 01:34 AM
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Post: #122
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-06-2018 01:34 AM)Laner Wrote:  Being a dad is being a big reset button. Every fucking day. The world is dead set on programming your kids, and if you stop paying attention, your kids will lose.

If I am away for even a few days, I get back and the difference is startling. And my wife is a very aware and red pilled mother. But she is a woman, and she will raise kids in the way that her instincts tell her.

If I was divorced with my schedule, I would see my son on Sundays. No way would I drive to my exes place every day at 7 to read a book I chose, to him before bed.

I get it though, kids can get fucked up by living in a fucked up home with two parents present. And fatherhood is hard work and maintaining frame can be exhausting after a stressful day at work so I understand many dads who say forget it and let their wives have their way.

But getting their way is not what they want. And if they do, they will probably get a shot of testosterone while at the same time your balls will shrink a little more.

Being a dad is not a part time job. It can be, but if you are in this for the future of your family, you are failing.

I am a single dude, but this makes a lot of sense.
12-06-2018 01:45 AM
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Post: #123
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-05-2018 09:08 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Your dad was sackless and you blame your mother for becoming the man of the house?

Christ, I hope you inherited your masculinity from her side of the family.

What's with all the sackless deadbeats that think splitting a family is no big deal? You guys realise that this kind of thinking is the male version of no-fault divorce from slut feminists, right?

I mean, there are thousands of despicable cunts we here justly despise having this exact same conversation right now only with the genders reversed.

"He doesn't bring me flowers anymore, and the cute barrista down the road says I deserve better..."

"Go, girl! You're still young and if he ain't treating you right you should find a man who's gonna make you feel like a queen!"

Faggotry. Grow the fuck up.

My sentiment isn't as pronounced on this whole situation (plus I don't know you guys personally or the exact situation with all its nuances). Nonetheless, I do agree with Leonard D Neubache that splitting up a family certainly is a big deal. That's the biggest reason why you should think twice before making any rash decisions. The trajectory of your kid's life could be altered dramatically if you guys end up splitting.

OP's wife does seem to offer enough positive points (on top of being his kid's mother) that OP should keep trying his best to improve the situation IMO. But this is just based off of the limited information that I have gleaned from the thread.

While I don't endorse cuck type lifestyles I guess OP's other hail mary option if SHTF (if he's that thirsty for other poon) is to gauge whether or not his wife would be alright with an "open or polyamorous relationship" lol. Doubt that would end well either lol.

OP. Money is obviously not an issue for you guys. Not sure about time. But I'm thinking....why don't you let grandma babysit the kiddo for several days (maybe a week I don't know). Why don't you & the wife take a nice-ass vacation somewhere and just get the fuck outta your routine life for a while. Enjoy doing shit together in a nice setting. Instead of blowing the money on counseling you'll be blowing it on sort of an experimental honeymoon. Try to see if you guys can enjoy each other in that capacity. Could be a nice change of pace.
(This post was last modified: 12-06-2018 02:45 AM by jordypip23.)
12-06-2018 02:33 AM
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Post: #124
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-05-2018 11:21 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  
(12-05-2018 09:08 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Your dad was sackless and you blame your mother for becoming the man of the house?

Christ, I hope you inherited your masculinity from her side of the family.

What's with all the sackless deadbeats that think splitting a family is no big deal? You guys realise that this kind of thinking is the male version of no-fault divorce from slut feminists, right?

I mean, there are thousands of despicable cunts we here justly despise having this exact same conversation right now only with the genders reversed.

"He doesn't bring me flowers anymore, and the cute barrista down the road says I deserve better..."

"Go, girl! You're still young and if he ain't treating you right you should find a man who's gonna make you feel like a queen!"

Faggotry. Grow the fuck up.

Why is divorce and and being an active enthusiastic father mutually exclusive in your mind?

Say what?
12-06-2018 03:17 AM
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Post: #125
RE: When should i drop the bomb on my wife
(12-06-2018 01:20 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  
(12-05-2018 11:21 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  
(12-05-2018 09:08 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Your dad was sackless and you blame your mother for becoming the man of the house?

Christ, I hope you inherited your masculinity from her side of the family.

What's with all the sackless deadbeats that think splitting a family is no big deal? You guys realise that this kind of thinking is the male version of no-fault divorce from slut feminists, right?

I mean, there are thousands of despicable cunts we here justly despise having this exact same conversation right now only with the genders reversed.

"He doesn't bring me flowers anymore, and the cute barrista down the road says I deserve better..."

"Go, girl! You're still young and if he ain't treating you right you should find a man who's gonna make you feel like a queen!"

Faggotry. Grow the fuck up.

Why is divorce and and being an active enthusiastic father mutually exclusive in your mind?

It's not.

How is it not, Hank? If a guy's divorced, he's not raising his kids, some other dude is. Other dude might also be sexually abusing them, guy wouldn't know, because he's not there, some other dude is. That, or no one's really raising them and they're out on the streets running wild while the mom is overwhelmed by life as a single mom.

Also, if a guy's divorced, instead of the kids growing up learning, by seeing their parents' example, how a strong relationship works, they learn instead how to have a broken relationship, again, by example. Then they go out into the real world, and in many cases, put what they learned at home into practice, repeating the cycle.

I don't know if you come from a broken family or not, but my friends that had no dads all had daddy issues, males and females. The men don't learn how to establish frame with women, and the women never learn how to be nice, how to flow with things, how to be part of a team. They then have to learn later on in life, if at all.

I remember one of my best buds growing up, his favorite song was that song by Sublime:

"Daddy was a rollin', rollin' stone
He rolled away one day and he never came home…"

That was in his 20's. His father had left before he was 5.

There's no getting around it, a divorced father has failed his children, at least the ones he leaves behind. He can try to make up for it in many ways, and that's commendable, but the damage is there, instead of having this unconditional love from both parents, those children learn that anyone, even parents, can leave, at any time. No such thing as believing in unconditional love from parents for those kids. They don't have that anchor that those of us that come from loving, two parent homes have.

Being a father isn't about hanging out on weekends or sending kids money and stuff. It's about being there. If a father's divorced, he's not there, not in the full sense of the word. He's more of a shadow of a father. Now, that's better than nothing, that's a lot better than nothing, but it's not the same, not even close.

Despite my earlier advice to not put up with the behavior, I gotta agree with Leonard in a lot of ways.

I mean, if someone's going to divorce, then it is what it is, but let's not pretend the impact on the children won't be massive.
(This post was last modified: 12-06-2018 03:47 AM by Spaniard88.)
12-06-2018 03:33 AM
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