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Pattern of bad interactions with Anglo girls- wondering the reasons?
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RawGod Offline
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Post: #76
RE: Pattern of bad interactions with Anglo girls- wondering the reasons?
When someone says that Anglo or other places are "cliquey and built on social circle" it gives me an image of beautiful people in their elite groups going off and having fun at exclusive venues. Ha. That might be so for the lucky few, but most people are just isolated and stuck with a small handful of acquaintances and friends. Thats why shows like Cheers, Friends and Seinfeld have been popular going back decades. They show an ideal close group of buddies, when the reality is sitting at home with the TV and the smartphone.

Dr Johnson rumbles with the RawGod. And lives to regret it.
(This post was last modified: 01-07-2019 04:30 AM by RawGod.)
01-07-2019 04:27 AM
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The Catalyst Offline
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Post: #77
RE: Pattern of bad interactions with Anglo girls- wondering the reasons?
(01-07-2019 04:27 AM)RawGod Wrote:  When someone says that Anglo or other places are "cliquey and built on social circle" it gives me an image of beautiful people in their elite groups going off and having fun at exclusive venues. Ha. That might be so for the lucky few, but most people are just isolated and stuck with a small handful of acquaintances and friends. Thats why shows like Cheers, Friends and Seinfeld have been popular going back decades. They show an ideal close group of buddies, when the reality is sitting at home with the TV and the smartphone.

Yes this is exactly it. I believe NZ is an extreme example and I would not have this problem in the US or even Canada. But people are just so boring here and the things they do just suck so much that even I, someone who actually likes being social and active, etc just have way more fun sitting at home on the computer or planning my own activities than I do trying to endure the social circle grind of most Kiwis, they just have a ridiculously high boredom tolerance and as a result most of what they do is completely mind-numbingly boring
01-07-2019 04:33 AM
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Suave Offline
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Post: #78
RE: Pattern of bad interactions with Anglo girls- wondering the reasons?
OP I'm from NZ too. Let me chime in. I agree about NZ girls general lack of attractiveness and femininity. We all know this. I have a good social network and meet fairly decent-looking girls on a semi-regular basis though. While almost none of these girls were raised and taught how to cook and clean the house, some of them can be quite sweet and submissive. Not every Kiwi girl is a binge-drinking tatted-beast. I don't advocate your street-approach methodology in NZ for access to higher quality Kiwi girls. The Kiwi mentality/social-culture isn't conducive to street approaches. I'm not discouraging approaching, but I think you'll have better results if you exert the same effort in fabricating yourself as part of a social circle with attractive girls. In my case, I used friendships from high school and university to branch out and meet more people.

You're right about the reserved and closed mentality of Kiwi's; there are many cultures in this world that are more welcoming or receptive to strangers becoming part of their group. That being said Kiwi's are generally friendly and non-confrontational. I've had cool Kiwi dudes that I met at social events, with zero mutual friends, invite me to hang with them and their crew on occasion. If you are a cool person who has confidence and some swag, there will always be people willingly to hang out with you. Don't expect to be invited to parties from the get go, learn to form a connection first. If you come across a guy who regularly associates with attractive chicks and you've had a decent convo, ask him to join you for a drink sometime. Take the initiative. Also try and associate with genuine and good guys that you meet too, even if they don't know many girls (I don't like the idea of just using others for your personal gain).

If you want to find guys with access to girls, you have clubs/bars, music festivals, hobbies, etc. The forum should have info on this and also on how to enter social circles. If you have the energy and time to approach, you can equally spend that same time hustling to get access to social circles. The ability to network is one of the most powerful and beneficial to have. If you plan on leaving NZ sometime and settling abroad, the ability to make friendships can transfer and help you there too. There are a lot of cool dudes here in NZ that know tons of hot chicks. You just aren't part of that crowd. You can either complain about how boring everyone is and sit on your ass at home or hustle and possibly party with hot chicks on a regular basis.

You don't lift right? My close mate is a personal trainer who moved from Auckland to Sydney six years ago. Today he's partying with some of the hottest twenty-something year olds there. What he left Auckland with was an excellent build and a strong knowledge base on strength development and nutrition. He barely knew anyone in Sydney but because of his outgoing and confident personality, he has managed to build a social network that most people will envy. He hustled for clients only getting two in his first year. The next year that number shot to around eight. He forged strong friendships with his clients and they started inviting him to all kinds of parties and private events. Through these friendships he met more and more people. These friendships are all with local Sydneysiders who can be cliquey as fuck, but they welcomed him with open arms. My mate is around 6ft, has an excellent build, a below average face, and is of Indian origin. His personality and charisma though is through the roof. People just want to hang with him. I'm not suggesting that you should also become a personal trainer and follow what he did. He leveraged his situation with his personality and ability to network.

You have no excuses man, even in NZ.
01-09-2019 09:28 PM
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Condot Offline
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Post: #79
RE: Pattern of bad interactions with Anglo girls- wondering the reasons?
(01-09-2019 09:28 PM)Suave Wrote:  OP I'm from NZ too. Let me chime in. I agree about NZ girls general lack of attractiveness and femininity. We all know this. I have a good social network and meet fairly decent-looking girls on a semi-regular basis though. While almost none of these girls were raised and taught how to cook and clean the house, some of them can be quite sweet and submissive. Not every Kiwi girl is a binge-drinking tatted-beast. I don't advocate your street-approach methodology in NZ for access to higher quality Kiwi girls. The Kiwi mentality/social-culture isn't conducive to street approaches. I'm not discouraging approaching, but I think you'll have better results if you exert the same effort in fabricating yourself as part of a social circle with attractive girls. In my case, I used friendships from high school and university to branch out and meet more people.

You're right about the reserved and closed mentality of Kiwi's; there are many cultures in this world that are more welcoming or receptive to strangers becoming part of their group. That being said Kiwi's are generally friendly and non-confrontational. I've had cool Kiwi dudes that I met at social events, with zero mutual friends, invite me to hang with them and their crew on occasion. If you are a cool person who has confidence and some swag, there will always be people willingly to hang out with you. Don't expect to be invited to parties from the get go, learn to form a connection first. If you come across a guy who regularly associates with attractive chicks and you've had a decent convo, ask him to join you for a drink sometime. Take the initiative. Also try and associate with genuine and good guys that you meet too, even if they don't know many girls (I don't like the idea of just using others for your personal gain).

If you want to find guys with access to girls, you have clubs/bars, music festivals, hobbies, etc. The forum should have info on this and also on how to enter social circles. If you have the energy and time to approach, you can equally spend that same time hustling to get access to social circles. The ability to network is one of the most powerful and beneficial to have. If you plan on leaving NZ sometime and settling abroad, the ability to make friendships can transfer and help you there too. There are a lot of cool dudes here in NZ that know tons of hot chicks. You just aren't part of that crowd. You can either complain about how boring everyone is and sit on your ass at home or hustle and possibly party with hot chicks on a regular basis.

You don't lift right? My close mate is a personal trainer who moved from Auckland to Sydney six years ago. Today he's partying with some of the hottest twenty-something year olds there. What he left Auckland with was an excellent build and a strong knowledge base on strength development and nutrition. He barely knew anyone in Sydney but because of his outgoing and confident personality, he has managed to build a social network that most people will envy. He hustled for clients only getting two in his first year. The next year that number shot to around eight. He forged strong friendships with his clients and they started inviting him to all kinds of parties and private events. Through these friendships he met more and more people. These friendships are all with local Sydneysiders who can be cliquey as fuck, but they welcomed him with open arms. My mate is around 6ft, has an excellent build, a below average face, and is of Indian origin. His personality and charisma though is through the roof. People just want to hang with him. I'm not suggesting that you should also become a personal trainer and follow what he did. He leveraged his situation with his personality and ability to network.

You have no excuses man, even in NZ.

This is a skill which I am looking towards developing this year.

Currently, I have a few hobbies and vibe well with people I train with. However, my issue is that it never grows beyond that - friendships and social circles in the past were not developed through effort on my part, they simply appeared and disappeared as time passed on.

Maybe I'm just too scared of failure here, but what are some ways I can strengthen my connections with people I train with aside from demonstrating an interest in them (Carnegie stuff)?

I'm all ears.
01-10-2019 03:33 AM
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The Catalyst Offline
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Post: #80
RE: Pattern of bad interactions with Anglo girls- wondering the reasons?
Thanks for the response.

I will try to clear things up with the way I view things. However if you are a typical Kiwi in the way you think(and Aussies are like this to an extent also) I highly recommend you don't read the rest of my post. It's for both of our sakes. What generally happens when I say what I think/what my opinions are to Kiwis or Aussies is they seem to get frustrated at how "negative", "whining", and "complaining" I am being, even though I don't perceive myself doing anything of the sort, I feel relatively positive and foreigners don't seem to mind, but Kiwis/Aussies melt down anyway. So I'd like to avoid this scenario from the get-go. That being said(after I said my warning), here goes...

(01-09-2019 09:28 PM)Suave Wrote:  I don't advocate your street-approach methodology in NZ for access to higher quality Kiwi girls. The Kiwi mentality/social-culture isn't conducive to street approaches. I'm not discouraging approaching, but I think you'll have better results if you exert the same effort in fabricating yourself as part of a social circle with attractive girls. In my case, I used friendships from high school and university to branch out and meet more people.

I agree daygame is really bad/ineffective here(relative to bigger cities). Plus Kiwi culture really makes it near impossible.

(01-09-2019 09:28 PM)Suave Wrote:  That being said Kiwi's are generally friendly and non-confrontational. I've had cool Kiwi dudes that I met at social events, with zero mutual friends, invite me to hang with them and their crew on occasion. If you are a cool person who has confidence and some swag, there will always be people willingly to hang out with you. Don't expect to be invited to parties from the get go, learn to form a connection first. If you come across a guy who regularly associates with attractive chicks and you've had a decent convo, ask him to join you for a drink sometime. Take the initiative. Also try and associate with genuine and good guys that you meet too, even if they don't know many girls (I don't like the idea of just using others for your personal gain).

What generally happens in my experience is I can approach groups and have a good time. I've been invited to a few parties this way. What I feel happens, they are very social in a shallow way, and it felt very deep and meaningful at the time. I believe in part because I've been in NZ so long I've never had truly meaningful friendships.

I make a move to hang out again and everyone stops messaging/texting back at the drop of a hat and goes really cold. I expect it's a mixture of they don't really know me+ they don't like being told they have to be social. It's kind of a strange mindfuck in this case because particularly in party situations they often felt so loving and warm that it's weird they got cold so fast. Maybe they were cold from the beginning but were too scared to say so? Or maybe druggies/degenerates are just unreliable/flaky. EDIT: the way I think, I would never be warm and friendly to someone I don't want to meet again.

With regards to parties in particular, since I am not a night person when a party like that happens it's basically like I'm spending 8-10 hours of effort for maybe 3-4 hours of pleasure, it knocks me out of commission the whole next day. Most Kiwis my age are night people so that doesn't really work for me. Parties are nice but they aren't good enough to justify feeling so bad after the fact.

The non-confrontational bit is bad. Some people absolutely deserve to be confronted, instead they run rampant making everyone else deal with their dysfunction. In the end it makes all of NZ seem dysfunctional. That is the one thing I really want to shake Kiwis to make everyone's lives better(mild joke- in case I seem like a total psycho by now).


(01-09-2019 09:28 PM)Suave Wrote:  If you have the energy and time to approach, you can equally spend that same time hustling to get access to social circles.

I agree for the most part. The thing is when I have my approaches/dates with girls in daygame it's fun and enjoyable in large part because they do what I want. If I break into Kiwi social circles for the most part I have to do what everyone else wants. It's probably my problem in the end but I don't like doing what other people want. And what Kiwis want is very different to what I want(generally, more boring).

(01-09-2019 09:28 PM)Suave Wrote:  You don't lift right? My close mate is a personal trainer who moved from Auckland to Sydney six years ago. Today he's partying with some of the hottest twenty-something year olds there. What he left Auckland with was an excellent build and a strong knowledge base on strength development and nutrition. He barely knew anyone in Sydney but because of his outgoing and confident personality, he has managed to build a social network that most people will envy. He hustled for clients only getting two in his first year. The next year that number shot to around eight. He forged strong friendships with his clients and they started inviting him to all kinds of parties and private events. Through these friendships he met more and more people. These friendships are all with local Sydneysiders who can be cliquey as fuck, but they welcomed him with open arms. My mate is around 6ft, has an excellent build, a below average face, and is of Indian origin. His personality and charisma though is through the roof. People just want to hang with him. I'm not suggesting that you should also become a personal trainer and follow what he did. He leveraged his situation with his personality and ability to network.

You have no excuses man, even in NZ.

I agree there's a lot of ways to improve. My plan is to leave NZ. The cultural and political differences are too great to be here long term. Personally I don't have any problems(well, in this context anyway) with differences in others, I can even be comfortable being around LGBT degenerates but it seems like left leaning Kiwis just don't understand where I'm coming from, and assume that my differences mean I'm purposely trying to antagonise them or something. Besides leftists in general, Kiwis are so similar to each other in terms of psychology/mentality that they can't fathom others thinking differently, so they literally assume you're being contrarian on purpose. Most "socially intelligent" tourists/immigrants react by pretending to agree with/think like them, which just ain't me.

I do calisthenics and gymnastics
(This post was last modified: 01-10-2019 03:56 AM by The Catalyst.)
01-10-2019 03:46 AM
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Suave Offline
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Post: #81
RE: Pattern of bad interactions with Anglo girls- wondering the reasons?
(01-10-2019 03:33 AM)Condot Wrote:  This is a skill which I am looking towards developing this year.

Currently, I have a few hobbies and vibe well with people I train with. However, my issue is that it never grows beyond that - friendships and social circles in the past were not developed through effort on my part, they simply appeared and disappeared as time passed on.

Maybe I'm just too scared of failure here, but what are some ways I can strengthen my connections with people I train with aside from demonstrating an interest in them (Carnegie stuff)?

I'm all ears.

From my experience and observation, the people that you meet in various institutions i.e. school, university, gym, work, etc. friendships can begin to develop once you start hanging with them outside the institution that you meet them in. It doesn't matter if you see and chat with them everyday, you're going to stay at the acquaintance-level if you don't do something social with them outside of university, work, the gym, etc.

In your case, maybe you can organise after-training protein shakes somewhere, or getting a bite to eat at some nearby place, or drinks on a Friday night.
(This post was last modified: 01-14-2019 06:01 AM by Suave.)
01-14-2019 06:00 AM
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