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The first and/or worst obstacle: Psychology
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Subtext Offline
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The first and/or worst obstacle: Psychology
This isn't the first time I've tried to get into Game. This will be the third time (at least) I've decided to delve into it. First time was years ago, maybe a couple of years after Mystery got his reality show. I couldn't get my head around it. I think I even picked up Strauss' book, but didn't finish it. The things I was reading all seemed so conniving and/or deceptive. I was reacting to it in a way that I would come to recognize, ways that could be summarized as follows:

Quote:Holy shit, that's cheesy

No woman would fall for that

That's a douchebag move. I'm not a douchebag
(I was actually a huge douchebag as a teenager. Most "nice guys" are).

I put the book down, and let it go. "This isn't for me," I told myself. "I'm not this guy," I said. And finally, there was the classic "Women aren't like that."

The second time was probably a year or two ago. And I actually gave it a go this time around. I was in 2 particular places every week for a couple of months during the summer. I was being social with women. My go to day opener was "Can I meet/pet your dog?" (I thought it was perfect. I focus on the doggo, chat about dogs, get a feel for the girl, and if I wanted to eject, no skin off my teeth. She wasn't the reason I was over there in the first place, Doggo was. And I really do like dogs.) But what killed this go round for me was a very specific incident, and it didn't even involve a girl. The staff was getting to recognize me. I didn't really talk to them (a mistake, I'm sure), but they knew my face. One of the security guys at the club I would go to on Saturdays was working the door, and when he saw me one night, he rolled his eyes and scoffed. And why would he do that? Because I had asked him about the place next door a few weeks prior. What kind of music, what kind of clothes, what kind of people. That was a mistake, too. I should have just gone in if I was curious. But the effect it had on me was enormous. I played it off at first. But I left that night, and I went home, and it lingered. And I slipped right back into those familiar thought patterns. But the thing is, every time I fall backwards, it seems like I fall a little farther, too. Imagine trying to climb your way out of a dirt pit, and when you fall back down, you loosen the earth and pull out roots you were using for hand holds. So your next attempt will be even more difficult.

In that couple of months, I had gotten 3 numbers and been stood up once. One of the numbers was a Polish exchange student waiting at the bar I went to. She wasn't the one who stood me up, she just didn't answer her texts. I really regret that one. When we were talking, literally the only thing I could see was the blue in her eyes. I remain convinced we were absolutely connected. And it really really sucks to think that moments like that are completely disposable to women. Look, I'm a total sap. I really am. All the songs and movies got to me. They got to me, man. My favorite song when I was a young kid was Surfer Girl.





Through happenstance, I recently reconnected with my junior high school (Catholic school) crush (who is married with 2 kids) and told her that she was my jr. high school crush, and that there wasn't any place for me in her life. She cried a little bit. I felt like shit. But I don't want her anywhere near me in adulthood. She married a man whose family owns half of the small MA city I grew up in. She's got two houses and two beautiful kids - one of whom I met when she brought him home from the hospital. Even just typing it hurts.

So now I'm in my third(ish) stint of giving Game a try. I've read some things. I was reading Heartiste for a while. I read a little Rational Male. And I read stuff on the Game forum, and some of the stuff I read, like We can learn a lot from Johnny Bravo immediately sends me into that familiar response pattern again.

[Image: johnny-bravo-150x150.jpg]
In fact, my reaction is almost angry. But I take a couple of breaths, and just ask myself, "What if these guys are right?"

Doods, the simple fact is I don't want any of this shit to be true. I really don't. I hate that the world is like this. And I don't fully accept that it is like this. Yet. But then I think to myself, if it is true, then what's the point of the lie? And I feel like an idiot for resisting it. Maybe that's progress. I'm in the process of putting all my stuff into storage, and I'm going to be moving out of here soon, hopefully. I don't know where, or to do what, but it will probably have something to do with oil exploration or production (thanks to Scotian's awesome thread).

TL;DR:
For some of us, committing to Game is like knocking over a vending machine. You can't do it in one go, you have to work up the momentum by rocking it back and forth a few times first. And for some of us, the conditioning is deep seated. So when we encounter that mental boundary, and shake our heads vigorously and recite all those comfortable platitudes we heard growing up, we have to take a breath, and step back. We must ask ourselves what if all this stuff is true? What would that mean? And if it is, what's the point of resisting that truth?

[Image: Locutus-of-Borg.jpg]
(This post was last modified: 12-28-2018 12:27 AM by Subtext.)
12-28-2018 12:23 AM
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Heuristics Offline
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Post: #2
RE: The first and/or worst obstacle: Psychology
Subtext, avoid flirting with game denialism and listen to the advice of some of the older cats on the forum, that is, guys that freely give out their years of accumulated game advise.

To summarize:
1. Avoid oneitis and practice abundance mentality--there are always more beautiful women out there that you haven't met yet.
2. Practice game. Read your game theory and then go out and execute! This is where a lot of the grinding happens.
3. Self improvement is a critical part of this forum's dogma. Take the time to workout, learn a hobby, etc. It will have a cascading effect on your life.
4. Inner game goes right along with self improvement. Destroy your social conditioning, becoming a better and stronger person in the process. Becoming truly outcome independent will make you a force to be reckoned with, whether that is in game or in business.
(This post was last modified: 12-28-2018 12:32 AM by Heuristics.)
12-28-2018 12:31 AM
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Post: #3
RE: The first and/or worst obstacle: Psychology
(12-28-2018 12:31 AM)Heuristics Wrote:  Subtext, avoid flirting with game denialism and listen to the advice of some of the older cats on the forum, that is, guys that freely give out their years of accumulated game advise.

To summarize:
1. Avoid oneitis and practice abundance mentality--there are always more beautiful women out there that you haven't met yet.
2. Practice game. Read your game theory and then go out and execute! This is where a lot of the grinding happens.
3. Self improvement is a critical part of this forum's dogma. Take the time to workout, learn a hobby, etc. It will have a cascading effect on your life.
4. Inner game goes right along with self improvement. Destroy your social conditioning, becoming a better and stronger person in the process. Becoming truly outcome independent will make you a force to be reckoned with, whether that is in game or in business.

You hit a lot of right ideas, but the ordering and application to OP's situation could use work.

The big issue is... if you are a young man you have probably been socialized in a way that suggests you should be "nice" in a way that isn't interpreted as nice by yourself or other people. It's more nice in the way a doormat could be nice or not depending on fashion trends and the traffic it is subjected to.

I remember in elementary school being a "peacemaker" was a thing that got pushed hard by the curriculum. As an adult, especially as an adult man, no one appreciates the efforts of a "peacemaker" who isn't capable of escalating whatever peace happens to not be in the situation. Imagine an argument at the VFW bar being smoothed over by an octagenarian. His words carry the weight of respect he earned through his social circle and the memory held by half the people in the bar from that time he whooped a young buck with a collapsible baton last month.

This is NOT to say all is violence, reputation for violence, or capacity for violence... But human beings are social animals. Being social animals competitions for status or position are a surrogate and the basis for our social organization.

One trend I am noticing in newbie posts is what appears to be a lack of general social awareness. Roosh's Daygame is great with this on handling the girls and not scaring the kitty.

(12-28-2018 12:23 AM)Subtext Wrote:  This isn't the first time I've tried to get into Game. This will be the third time (at least) I've decided to delve into it. First time was years ago, maybe a couple of years after Mystery got his reality show. I couldn't get my head around it. I think I even picked up Strauss' book, but didn't finish it. The things I was reading all seemed so conniving and/or deceptive. I was reacting to it in a way that I would come to recognize, ways that could be summarized as follows:

Quote:Holy shit, that's cheesy

No woman would fall for that

That's a douchebag move. I'm not a douchebag
(I was actually a huge douchebag as a teenager. Most "nice guys" are).

I put the book down, and let it go. "This isn't for me," I told myself. "I'm not this guy," I said. And finally, there was the classic "Women aren't like that."

The second time was probably a year or two ago. And I actually gave it a go this time around. I was in 2 particular places every week for a couple of months during the summer. I was being social with women. My go to day opener was "Can I meet/pet your dog?" (I thought it was perfect. I focus on the doggo, chat about dogs, get a feel for the girl, and if I wanted to eject, no skin off my teeth. She wasn't the reason I was over there in the first place, Doggo was. And I really do like dogs.) But what killed this go round for me was a very specific incident, and it didn't even involve a girl. The staff was getting to recognize me. I didn't really talk to them (a mistake, I'm sure), but they knew my face. One of the security guys at the club I would go to on Saturdays was working the door, and when he saw me one night, he rolled his eyes and scoffed. And why would he do that? Because I had asked him about the place next door a few weeks prior. What kind of music, what kind of clothes, what kind of people. That was a mistake, too. I should have just gone in if I was curious. But the effect it had on me was enormous. I played it off at first. But I left that night, and I went home, and it lingered. And I slipped right back into those familiar thought patterns. But the thing is, every time I fall backwards, it seems like I fall a little farther, too. Imagine trying to climb your way out of a dirt pit, and when you fall back down, you loosen the earth and pull out roots you were using for hand holds. So your next attempt will be even more difficult.

In that couple of months, I had gotten 3 numbers and been stood up once. One of the numbers was a Polish exchange student waiting at the bar I went to. She wasn't the one who stood me up, she just didn't answer her texts. I really regret that one. When we were talking, literally the only thing I could see was the blue in her eyes. I remain convinced we were absolutely connected. And it really really sucks to think that moments like that are completely disposable to women. Look, I'm a total sap. I really am. All the songs and movies got to me. They got to me, man. My favorite song when I was a young kid was Surfer Girl.





Through happenstance, I recently reconnected with my junior high school (Catholic school) crush (who is married with 2 kids) and told her that she was my jr. high school crush, and that there wasn't any place for me in her life. She cried a little bit. I felt like shit. But I don't want her anywhere near me in adulthood. She married a man whose family owns half of the small MA city I grew up in. She's got two houses and two beautiful kids - one of whom I met when she brought him home from the hospital. Even just typing it hurts.

So now I'm in my third(ish) stint of giving Game a try. I've read some things. I was reading Heartiste for a while. I read a little Rational Male. And I read stuff on the Game forum, and some of the stuff I read, like We can learn a lot from Johnny Bravo immediately sends me into that familiar response pattern again.

[Image: johnny-bravo-150x150.jpg]
In fact, my reaction is almost angry. But I take a couple of breaths, and just ask myself, "What if these guys are right?"

Doods, the simple fact is I don't want any of this shit to be true. I really don't. I hate that the world is like this. And I don't fully accept that it is like this. Yet. But then I think to myself, if it is true, then what's the point of the lie? And I feel like an idiot for resisting it. Maybe that's progress. I'm in the process of putting all my stuff into storage, and I'm going to be moving out of here soon, hopefully. I don't know where, or to do what, but it will probably have something to do with oil exploration or production (thanks to Scotian's awesome thread).

TL;DR:
For some of us, committing to Game is like knocking over a vending machine. You can't do it in one go, you have to work up the momentum by rocking it back and forth a few times first. And for some of us, the conditioning is deep seated. So when we encounter that mental boundary, and shake our heads vigorously and recite all those comfortable platitudes we heard growing up, we have to take a breath, and step back. We must ask ourselves what if all this stuff is true? What would that mean? And if it is, what's the point of resisting that truth?

[Image: Locutus-of-Borg.jpg]

Usually you shouldn't care too much about what other guys are signalling to you, and you shouldn't let the eye roll shake you to the core like it did.

While "No Fucks Given" is an important part of the game toolkit, you've got to be aware of the other men where you are gaming. This means be cordial to other dudes, avoid dick measuring contests anywhere you aren't a regular, and try to have at least a couple friends anywhere you do make yourself a regular. Bias towards treating other guys as your peers unless it is clear you should do otherwise. Save AMOG tactics for occasions where you already have a girl playing into your game, and you need to dismiss the interloping male. Don't try to AMOG the whole bar.

Since you are moving, try to learn the language. The combination of new language with new culture gives you chance to up your game. Operating in a new language space means you can build new habits with less resistance from that old conditioning while at the same time being a new culture where, if it is a less post-post-modern shitshow... gender relations flow more naturally.

Also... Save deep burrowing looking into eyes until you have a path to bury your dick in a particular cunt. Eye contact is good, but penetrating longing stares normally yield more advantage to her than you unless shortly followed by penetration.
12-29-2018 12:39 AM
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