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Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
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aswifty Offline
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Post: #1
Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
I mean, am i remiss to deter practicing game until these physical aspects are handled? I personally think it just saves me time, I know the truth on how shallow girls secretly are, and i'll just do my best to give them what they want. And what's best about this imo, is that i can worry about what im saying and doing instead of how i look.. and that would be very relieving psychologically speaking.

Girls hate a disheveled looking man, and if i take the opposite of that to the extreme, or rather to the level of the girls im generally approaching, i can only imagine ill be rewarded greatly for my efforts. Perhaps ill learn the hard truth that there's not much more i can do to improve my looks aside from surgery, or that it really was what ive been saying all along and not my looks that is preventing me from sleeping with actual attractive girls.
(This post was last modified: 01-06-2019 06:20 AM by aswifty.)
01-06-2019 05:50 AM
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average Offline
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RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
wow thats so much effort. when u take them home and are about to bang, you gotta take off ur stilts, contacts, fake abs, wig while she takes off her corset and push up bras. then a year into a relationship you gotta tell her your teeth are fake.

idk man. i guess itll work fine for cheap lays but will be tricky long term. if i said not to do it then it would be a double standard cause chicks fake it up to 11.

where are you looking for the contacts ive been curious myself
01-06-2019 06:30 AM
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Nefarias Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
even as a 10/10 you will always worry how you look and you will never be happy and feel "perfect". Now if you are less than 6/10 your cold approach might not work that well, but at least you will develop some habits and learn how to speak to girls while improving your looks at the same time. There is no reason to wait. You need to fix your mentality first tho because if you approach and think "shit is my hair done right?" you will fail. It's hard as hell but if you can get into the zone where "everything around here is my playground" your chances skyrocket.

Also this is just my theory, but % of girls that refuse you on a street (day game) based on your average looks (considering that you are average looking and not a bum) is similar to girls that refuse you on a street because they are intimidated/think you are a player/prankster if you look "too good" (because let's face it, model looking guys usually don't need to do cold approach unless they are into some pua). Correct me if I'm wrong.
01-06-2019 06:52 AM
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Saweeep Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
When my father was young he painted "TAKE ACTION" on the ceiling above his bed so that every morning when he woke up it would be the first thing he saw. A reminder. A call to action.

Your delaying getting started is nothing more than prevarication. When you are "looksmaxed" you will find another reason to not get going.

You need to just get on with it.
01-06-2019 06:56 AM
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Super Average Man Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
Look, I'm not going to say looks don't matter. They do. But you give off an extremely neurotic and obsessed vibe from your post. You're very insecure about your height and you're not even short. You're considering penis enlargement surgery for crying out loud. If you "looksmax" and still find you don't get good results when cold approaching 8+ girls, what are you going to do? Get more surgery?

Forget looks for a moment. Looks wise it doesn't sound like you're in a bad spot at all from your description. It's strange that only sub 6s are responding to you. Something's off. How's your body language? How do you approach girls, and what kind of girls are you approaching exactly?

Also consider that day game might simply not be the best option for you in your country. I don't know about Canada, but over here the real hotties usually meet their bfs through social circle. Ever thought of exploring other options?

EDIT: for context, aswifty's original post was much longer.
(This post was last modified: 01-06-2019 06:59 AM by Super Average Man.)
01-06-2019 06:57 AM
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Windom Earle Offline
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RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
(01-06-2019 05:50 AM)aswifty Wrote:  or that it really was what ive been saying all along and not my looks that is preventing me from sleeping with actual attractive girls.

You got there eventually.

Women are not as visual as men.

All a man needs to crack a stiffy and want to pump away is an attractive/feminine shape, even that of a silhouette, positioned in a seductive manner.

Womens’ “bandwidth” for what elicits attraction in their mind however is far more nebulous and complex than men. Further, as has been stated many times on the forum, this can drastically change depending upon where she is in her cycle.

Above all, be confident.

If you lack confidence, work on that. It may take some serious introspection and proactiveness on your part to grow, but if you take the necessary steps to improve the relevant facets of your life that are holding you back, you’ll review your station in a year or two and be able to gauge a marked change within yourself.

You may even have an STI or pregnancy scare. Won’t that be exciting.
(This post was last modified: 01-06-2019 08:40 AM by Windom Earle.)
01-06-2019 08:20 AM
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UlugBeg Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
Makes sense. However, be open to warm approaches, social circle and if the girl makes the first move. Right after my recent divorce, I had the same plan. But I was able to get some dates though non-CA. I plan to start CA in mid-Feb if my surgery has resolved, by then. It takes a lot of confidence to CA and being looksmaxed is a huge help.
01-06-2019 11:19 AM
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Saweeep Offline
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RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
Actually, this whole "looksmaxed" veering into plastic surgery is so incredibly feminine it's almost faggotry.

It reminds me of those ridiculous women who never know when to stop and end up looking like wax mannequins.
01-06-2019 11:24 AM
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Captain Gh Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
Man just approaching put you ahead of like 70-80% of men! Once you get some results from these approaches... the momentum will carry itself over to your training as well... therefore speeding up your rate of success. Nothing beats "Take Action Now" once you know bloody well what you want to do! Go ahead & start now! If you don't, your fitness level is simply a fantastic/great justification for being scared of Gaming! I've been there believe me!
01-06-2019 11:42 AM
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Bacchus Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
This thread is a reminder that perfect is the enemy of good.

Don't wait for perfection. You are good enough to take it to the hole right now. It would surely be easier if you were better looking. But you are unwilling to grind it out through the difficult approaches, so you deserve nothing.

Get reps, goddamit. They will help you when you reach whatever goal you have.

As Donald Rumsfeld said, you go to war with the army that you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.



(This post was last modified: 01-06-2019 11:26 PM by Bacchus.)
01-06-2019 11:25 PM
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aswifty Offline
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RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
(01-06-2019 06:30 AM)average Wrote:  wow thats so much effort. when u take them home and are about to bang, you gotta take off ur stilts, contacts, fake abs, wig while she takes off her corset and push up bras. then a year into a relationship you gotta tell her your teeth are fake.

idk man. i guess itll work fine for cheap lays but will be tricky long term. if i said not to do it then it would be a double standard cause chicks fake it up to 11.

where are you looking for the contacts ive been curious myself

I specified that the shoe lifts might be something i experiment with, and the blue eyed contacts was just a joke. I was just lamenting the point that girls prefer guys with colored eyes more than brown. Lucky for me, my eyes are probably my strongest genetic feature aesthetically, even if they're brown. I get good reactions from girls who are blue/green eyed, but not so much girls with brown, not sure if it's a coincidence or something im wanting to see, but brown eyed girls are tricky for me. Way bigger cunts, usually.
01-06-2019 11:47 PM
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Heuristics Offline
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RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
Your sentence structure is real weird man. The way you form sentences seems feminist, and/or to be trolling. You also have some randos replying that leads me to believe you guys are all in on it.

Looksmaxing is a term I don’t like. Because it is an incel term. It is also a retarded concept because it absolves the incel in question of responsibility for their situation. There are so many things that can be improved on immediately!

And you should approach as soon as you feel comfortable, but the ironic thing is that you need to approach as soon as possible because all dudes have severe approach anxiety. Everyone deals with it. As another poster said, approaching puts you ahead of something like 70-80 percent of men. Attraction for women is different than attraction for men, so there is no need to put yourself all over dating profiles when you can approach a girl with confidence.

Looksmaxing is the holy grail of incels, the singular reason they decide not to approach. That’s the obvious problem. Any incel reading this needs to realize looksmaxing is not what will get you a girl. Approaching will. Getting out of the house will. Confidence will. Weightlifting and so on.

I did approaching before I got into good shape and believe it or not, yielded massive results, and now gives me massive confidence around women. There’s always room for improvement.

'Safe sex'- a term which makes one appreciative of the truth of... saying "Is having sex with a condom not like taking a shower with a raincoat on?" The ultimate goal would be... to invent "opium without opium": no wonder marihuana is so popular among liberals... it already IS... 'opium without opium'. -S. Zizek

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01-06-2019 11:50 PM
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aswifty Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
(01-06-2019 06:52 AM)Nefarias Wrote:  even as a 10/10 you will always worry how you look and you will never be happy and feel "perfect". Now if you are less than 6/10 your cold approach might not work that well, but at least you will develop some habits and learn how to speak to girls while improving your looks at the same time. There is no reason to wait. You need to fix your mentality first tho because if you approach and think "shit is my hair done right?" you will fail. It's hard as hell but if you can get into the zone where "everything around here is my playground" your chances skyrocket.

Also this is just my theory, but % of girls that refuse you on a street (day game) based on your average looks (considering that you are average looking and not a bum) is similar to girls that refuse you on a street because they are intimidated/think you are a player/prankster if you look "too good" (because let's face it, model looking guys usually don't need to do cold approach unless they are into some pua). Correct me if I'm wrong.


This something I've been thinking, and perhaps even a problem i have at my current looks level. Sometimes i swear girls do reject me cus im better looking than they are, or assume im too good looking and that im just a player, and that i should have a girlfriend, i am assumed to have a girlfriend semi often, when really im terribly lonely romantically, but could be wrong on that one...
The problem with my current looks im like in this limbo of being hot and average, it's just not obvious either way. I'll get some legit 8+ head turning me than ill get rejected by some 5.5.. lol. The goal is to make it obvious, i am that hot guy lol. Although, my genetics may not make this actually possible for me, but i have a hard time believing if i check all those boxes that i won't be considered an actual hot guy, if that's the case well bitches standards are too high haha oh well, cus if they put that effort in their body themselves they be like 100k instagram followers. But yeah, it's something i need to experience first hand.... will being "looksmax" help, hamper, or is it irrelevant... guesss gotta prove the incels right or wrong eh lol
01-06-2019 11:55 PM
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Bienvenuto Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
Taking time out to seriously work on your shit can be a noble thing to do..

I suppose the question is - is it necessary? If not necessary then is it at least coming for a healthy place? Is it odds-on likely to ACTUALLY work or is it just some kind of mental masturbation that spares people rejection for a few months?

Do a hypothetical thought experiment for a minute..

If for some reason the fate of thousands of innocents (or the universe or just someone's loved ones) depended on them becoming a real life James Bond type character who couldn't fail to give girls tingles when they met him

then:

How much of that would depend on a) character, personality, being a man of action, having a solid social circle, being very proficient at their own job masculine hobbies/interests..

How much of that would depend on b) - shoe lifts and moisturiser and facial exercises and what eye colour they had and what colour contact lenses?

And if someone did become that Alpha Dog then.. would they still be the person who is into b) and who goes on forums saying that all women are shallow and they ..just have a suspicion.. that when they have these interactions with girls that the girls are doing x or maybe y or maybe z.. but its so hard out there and now I'm going to delete half my original post so no-one knows what the fuck they're talking about anymore .

Im all for taking time out to work on things if it actually works.

This just sounds like an emotional grievance with the world and a desire to confirm that grievance. In which case you're not the only one, trust me..
01-07-2019 02:15 AM
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MikeInRealLife Offline
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RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
You've overthinking this. I'm 5'8" and 47 with a gray beard and an average face. Two weeks ago I pulled a cute little 19-year-old Latina with almost zero effort. She was probably a solid 7 by the standards here, maybe more if you like Mexican girls. I dress reasonably well (and I don't mean suited up everywhere I go), am in decent but far from tip-top shape, have fun wherever I go, and long ago learned how to just talk to women.

Most women have a threshold of attractiveness. Once you're above it, it's far more about your personality and social ability than what you look like. You don't have to be Brad Pitt, just be in decent shape and dress well. After that it's all personality, status and game, since women's attraction to men is much more holistic than ours is to them.

Social fluidity goes a LONG way with women, as does traditional masculinity. Many women in the western world are absolutely starved for men with both. I see it all the time.
01-07-2019 04:21 PM
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Simeon_Strangelight Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
Yes and no - many aspects go into that.

It depends whether you are fat or have a terrible haircut, terrible wardrobe.

Especially when you are overweight it pays to go into monk-mode and Nofap, go on an intermittent fasting keto-diet, study some Game and then start approaching when you look far better.

I made approaches when I looked my best and I did them when I had too many pounds on me. Most of my life I had a sixpack and I can tell you from experience - approaching girls when you are at least slim and muscular regardless of your basic looks - that is infinitely better.

Other aspects are relative really - and another point - when you have been always overweight and still somewhat successful with women - then it's obviously different, but obviously it's not your case.
01-07-2019 04:39 PM
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Feldeinsamkeit Offline
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RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
(01-07-2019 04:39 PM)Simeon_Strangelight Wrote:  Yes and no - many aspects go into that.

It depends whether you are fat or have a terrible haircut, terrible wardrobe.

Especially when you are overweight it pays to go into monk-mode and Nofap, go on an intermittent fasting keto-diet, study some Game and then start approaching when you look far better.

I made approaches when I looked my best and I did them when I had too many pounds on me. Most of my life I had a sixpack and I can tell you from experience - approaching girls when you are at least slim and muscular regardless of your basic looks - that is infinitely better.

Other aspects are relative really - and another point - when you have been always overweight and still somewhat successful with women - then it's obviously different, but obviously it's not your case.

This is solid advice.

I'm in a very similar predicament to the OP. Being overweight is not my problem; it's rather the fact that I'm naturally very skinny and am not especially tall (5'9") trying to daygame younger women in a city swimming with tall, muscular and high-status nordic-looking German guys. It's easy to tell yourself that looks don't matter much when you're young and with a good physique, but it's a different story when you don't have these things going for you. So, blowouts are pretty much the only response I get when I approach here, which has taken a big toll on my confidence in the past months, I don't mind admitting.

Notwithstanding the above, a younger hot-ish leggy German blonde did take my number shortly before Christmas that I cold approached and actually texted me to set up a date this week.

And here comes the curious part: I noticed that immediately prior to gaming her, I'd put on a bit of weight to the extent that I now visibly appear more fuller figured than before. Furthermore, I've also noticed other female interest since piling on a few pounds and hitting the weights again.

Although it's true that obtaining success with women for men is about more than just having good facial aesthetics and/or well-built physique, guys would be fooling themselves in thinking that there isn't a minimum looks threshold at play with 6+ women even when in possession of good game and that this threshold hasn't significantly increased in recent years due to the concomitant increase in women's dating options owing to social media platforms.
(This post was last modified: 01-07-2019 05:30 PM by Feldeinsamkeit.)
01-07-2019 05:22 PM
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For fux sake
(01-07-2019 05:22 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  This is solid advice.

I'm in a very similar predicament to the OP. Being overweight is not my problem; it's rather the fact that I'm naturally very skinny and am not especially tall (5'9") trying to daygame younger women in a city swimming with tall, muscular and high-status nordic-looking German guys. It's easy to tell yourself that looks don't matter much when you're young and with a good physique, but it's a different story when you don't have these things going for you. So, blowouts are pretty much the only response I get when I approach here, which has taken a big toll on my confidence in the past months, I don't mind admitting.

Notwithstanding the above, a younger hot-ish leggy German blonde did take my number shortly before Christmas that I cold approached and actually texted me to set up a date this week.

And here comes the curious part: I noticed that immediately prior to gaming her, I'd put on a bit of weight to the extent that I now visibly appear more fuller figured than before. Furthermore, I've also noticed other female interest since piling on a few pounds and hitting the weights again.

Although it's true that obtaining success with women for men is about more than just having good facial aesthetics and/or well-built physique, guys would be fooling themselves in thinking that there isn't a minimum looks threshold at play with 6+ women even when in possession of good game and that this threshold hasn't significantly increased in recent years due to the concomitant increase in women's dating options owing to social media platforms.

Mate, once again, can you cut it out with all this propagating of sensationalist hearsay — you're making it sound as if all German men are uniformly these ripped übermensch Greek Gods, straight out of the Norse and Hellenic sagas; when you've been called out on this claim multiple times. Rolleyes Boring

Are you going to convince us that the local men aren't afraid of proactively approaching to stake their claim on the women too? tard

Do you think that no-one else on this forum lives in Germany too — originally from the West — whose eyes you can pull the wool over regarding your self-flagellating fiction?

As if the norm for men in your location is "high-status" and "mostly doing well financially", who are able to command the attention of the local talent; what makes youwho has demonstrated to be content in remaining little higher in social status than an unskilled manual worker — believe yourself entitled to above-average pussy as much as, or more, than those of us men who have bettered themselves to a higher socioeconomic footing??

This isn't something that all of us were born into; and to just resign your fate and whinge about the haves over the have-nots, is fucking lazy and contemptible.

Get your act together; these are all elements well within one's sphere of influence. Not bothering to make good of them, and having the gall to project these shortcomings as a general game issue — well, we weren't all born yesterday.

If you do feel that the mere element of a plane ticket and a relocation is all that's needed to right your dating wrongs — and you've done it once; at this extent, do you really think it'll work? Confused — the destination is pretty obvious:

1) where the average male height is considerably lower, and where shortness is accepted

2) where there are lower levels of muscularity (only in your perception Rolleyes ) or at least with markedly lower levels of protein consumption and where men are also too fucking lazy to hit the gym.

3) to a country with a lower standard of living or at least greater social equality or greater acceptance of being average (which is again in your head — if you can say to my face that a street sweeper has it considerably harder finding a wife than does a duke, I will call you a big fat liar)

I don't think it's of any use. You could relocate to the Philippines for the sake of pussy, and still complain that the local men are all a cut above: financially well-off, tall, jacked latino gods, aggressively chasing skirt.

Seriously, stop insulting us with this masochistic nonsense.
01-08-2019 10:14 AM
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Hypno Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
Don't use looks as an excuse.

Start now
01-08-2019 10:26 AM
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RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
Right now, if you are ugly, your chances are low for banging girls

When you are better looking, your chances will be higher

That is to say, right now, you can still try.

You aren't getting laid because you still believe in "game".

Here's how I went from being a 21-year-old, videogame-addicted, Asian virgin to banging too many girls to count (no PUA bs):

https://whiteknightrises.com/start-here

BTC: 1A5WUGDNGnsxGJ62CXadV6T2oapKfFu4T3
ETH: 0x9019d135dD1FFA06f0CC53C5942cBce806a943dd

(If I miss your reply PM me)
01-12-2019 10:35 AM
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subterfuge Online
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RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
Don't supposed anyone reads RSD forum here, but there was/is quite an interesting poster who has been posting there for a while with very little results. He got about 40k worth of plastic surgery, and now he's banging hot girls. (he posted his before and after pics, but I won't post them). Being handsome is a game changer, but I also agree with the others that you should still get out there and try right now tbh. I do and i'm no looker! You can still get the odd result, and it kinda builds character to face lots of rejection lol

My journal : https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-57783.html
01-12-2019 10:53 AM
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Simeon_Strangelight Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
For your case it's simple:

+ gym and muscles
+ r-select wardrobe and style - don't dress like the boyfriend, but a certain type
+ learn Game - most German men don't approach jack-shit - Daygame is good
+ wear lyft-shoes that might turn you into a 5'11 or 6'0 guy - The 6'1 GoodLookingLoser wears them to appear 6'3 simply because he noticed more women reacting to him when being taller in the US. Brad Pitt wears them, so who cares - if you appear better because of it, then why not?

Aside from that - you can always approach easier prey in certain locations - MILF bars and dancing courses frequented by MILFs.

Obviously looks always matter, but an ugly muscular guy with 9% bodyfat and massive Game is still attractive to a shit-ton of women and has after a time created a certain type so that women say: "He isn't attractive, but he has something...." Yeah - that ugly motherfucker acts good-looking and after a time it's backed up by the dozens of girls he fucked.
01-12-2019 02:53 PM
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RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
(01-12-2019 10:53 AM)subterfuge Wrote:  Don't supposed anyone reads RSD forum here, but there was/is quite an interesting poster who has been posting there for a while with very little results. He got about 40k worth of plastic surgery, and now he's banging hot girls. (he posted his before and after pics, but I won't post them). Being handsome is a game changer, but I also agree with the others that you should still get out there and try right now tbh. I do and i'm no looker! You can still get the odd result, and it kinda builds character to face lots of rejection lol

Post link if you can find it
01-12-2019 07:19 PM
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Alpone Offline
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RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
I think I know the RSD poster you're talking about. He's a bad example. The dude went from 5 to 8 but he's still an insecure little child and whines like a bitch whenever he gets blown out. His self-limiting beliefs are still off the charts and he cockblocks himself even when the girl is into him lol.

He'd have 10x the success if he fixed his brain before he fixed his face.
01-12-2019 10:36 PM
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Aenema Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Why I refuse to do cold approach until I looksmax myself
(01-12-2019 02:53 PM)Simeon_Strangelight Wrote:  For your case it's simple:

Obviously looks always matter, but an ugly muscular guy with 9% bodyfat and massive Game is still attractive to a shit-ton of women and has after a time created a certain type so that women say: "He isn't attractive, but he has something...." Yeah - that ugly motherfucker acts good-looking and after a time it's backed up by the dozens of girls he fucked.

OP, I have a perfect example of a guy like this I can show you. He doesn't even have the 9% body fat going for him, he's maybe 5'9. I'm going to post a picture of him, this is from public records so I don't think its out of line. I don't really know him personally, he's a friend of friends and I've seen him around. I don't even think he's ever used a computer for more than 5 minutes so the chances of him finding this are 0.

this pic is nearly a decade old, so imagine him way older and hair line far more receded


   

We are in an area where men settle for fat, ugly pigs. The men here are far better looking than the females, and I say this as a heterosexual man. Men way better looking and taller than him are in LTRs with fat 4-5s. This guy has slayed so much its not even funny. A couple of years ago I saw him out a couple of times with this beautiful barely legal girl. Shes a bit taller than him, legs longer than the nile, short skirt and a nice ass, bending over a pool table and he's just grabbing her ass with a shit eating grin. I was jealous. He's fucked atleast 5 or 6 girls I know. His body count is definitely triple digits from what I've heard. Dude is a smooth talker, he just has it. Even I can tell as a guy. He never displays thirst. He never put up with girls shit. I'm pretty sure he dumped the hot one too.

If this guy can do it, so can you OP. Work on your charisma. If you hold insecurities about your looks, even if you try to remedy them with whatever cosmetic enhancements you can think of, the insecurity will still be there and women will pick up on it. I know you probably don't believe it, but if you have total 100% confidence in yourself, then women will be saying "theres just something about him" about YOU.


And this guy only cold approaches, doesn't even have a smart phone I don't think. I doubt he'd do well on Tinder. No excuses OP.
01-15-2019 10:56 AM
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