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Who pays?
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818 Offline
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Post: #1
Who pays?
I remember I used to religiously go Dutch. But now for some reason I'm noticing that I reach for my wallet more. Perhaps I feel that it's appropriate for me to pay if I'm the one who suggested we get something to eat/drink. But then, girls rarely suggest it so that means I would be always paying. I don't go on dates but rather a quick bite to eat or drink. Well, it "could" be looked at as a date but I don't set that vibe.

Anyway, who pays? Let's say if you're the one who suggested to go out.
(This post was last modified: 01-08-2019 10:30 AM by 818.)
01-08-2019 10:29 AM
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DJ-Matt Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Who pays?
There's some good info here:

https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-41010.html

Kinda depends on if this is the first date or not. My rule would be Tinder hoes don't get free meals on the first out.

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(This post was last modified: 01-08-2019 10:37 AM by DJ-Matt.)
01-08-2019 10:35 AM
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Bogart Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Who pays?
As with any question like this it always depends on the context and dynamic.

Ill go Dutch when a girl is my age, has her own money from family or a good job, or still needs to earn my affection if I’m being strategic. Sometimes if I’m rolling it I like to shout them just because I can, and never bat an eye or mention it again (the only way to go if you do pay).

Imo it should, however, never be expected (unless you’re with a real dime; you chose the activity and it’s out of her budget; it’d break the frame your selling her to do otherwise)
01-08-2019 10:40 AM
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quaker13 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Who pays?
You don’t wanna pay for dates than invite 4-6s to your apartment as a first date. The exception being if you’re a college student or famous.

No matter how handsome, inshape, game proficient and wealthy you are it’s perfectly reasonable for a woman to expect you to pay for the first date. You will not be fucking any women with high SMVs doing this Dutch shit. Quite frankly, going Dutch is a waste of your time. Stick to drinks and no food till you get the pussy, exception being appetizers
01-08-2019 10:58 AM
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TIOT12 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Who pays?
If you have the means why wouldn't you pay? It is another example of leading and many women will expect it or hope you do it. If cost is an issue, just go out for drinks or other cheap events. Also, I would prefer to be the one who is asking to go out because it is more leading and you then have control of logistics. After the first date, it may make sense to go Dutch but I don't see this as something to take a stand on.
01-08-2019 11:37 AM
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Atlanta Man Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Who pays?
You Pay. But only for alcohol, any one who feeds a girl before fucking her is automatically starting from a negative position.

If you cum in her mouth and she swallows she will not get pregnant.....I speak from experience.
01-08-2019 11:49 AM
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Post: #7
RE: Who pays?
Depends on the culture and context.

In the UK the norm is the same as Scandinavia for under 30s - go halves (or take it turns paying).

Southern Europe and South East Asia the men tend to pay for most dates (and the women may pay for the odd thing like coffee etc).

I prefer to go halves from a moral stand point but when in asia, whilst earning 2.5k or so a month and the girl is on 500usd a month - I felt like a prick letting them pay so I always stood the bill.

My advice is if you are in expensive country: just go out for drinks and don't bother with dinner until after a few dates.
(This post was last modified: 01-08-2019 11:55 AM by flyinghorse.)
01-08-2019 11:53 AM
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LINUX Away
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Post: #8
RE: Who pays?
My rule is that the person who invites pays.
01-08-2019 12:08 PM
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MaceTyrell Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Who pays?
In 6/7 Tinder dates that ended in notches over 2018, the girl paid her half/paid for enough rounds that it equaled out. I go Dutch, or am clever about going dutch (i.e. "oh I'll be a bit late...it would be great if I had a drink waiting for me when I get there" - then I get the second round so we technically went Dutch).
01-08-2019 01:18 PM
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RE: Who pays?
(01-08-2019 12:08 PM)LINUX Wrote:  My rule is that the person who invites pays.

Taking a wild guess which gender does 90 percent of the asking for the first date.

After that consider how many times the woman paid for the first date when they asked you out.
(This post was last modified: 01-08-2019 01:25 PM by flyinghorse.)
01-08-2019 01:24 PM
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MaceTyrell
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Post: #11
RE: Who pays?
It depends.

I've paid for girls, had girls pay for me (including my current LTR), and gone on dates where it costs nothing at all.

In my experience the best way to decide is to not decide at all and go on a free date. If a girl is really interested in spending time with you, she'll be just as apt to take a walk with you on the beach, or go to a free outdoor venue. You can then use this time to screen the girl to see if she'll be worth the investment.

Depending on my level of interest in the girl, I'll challenge myself to get them to pay. A fullproof method of screening for a woman's attraction to you is to have her pay for the date. Frame it like a joke. For instance, I call my LTR my sugar momma when she's paying for us both, and it never fails to get a smile out of her.

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01-08-2019 05:27 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Who pays?
She has waxed her pussy so get your wallet out and buy her a fucking drink you tight asses


Don't let yourself have the piss taken out of you, but for fuck sakes don't be that tight ass guy that goes to the bar and gets a beer and tells the woman to go get her own drink on a date.

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01-08-2019 06:15 PM
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lunchmoney Offline
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RE: Who pays?
(01-08-2019 11:49 AM)Atlanta Man Wrote:  You Pay. But only for alcohol, any one who feeds a girl before fucking her is automatically starting from a negative position.

I have learned this over the years the hard way. First two dates now I stick to drinks, with the first being drinks out at a bar, and the second (if things went well on date 1) drinks at my place.
01-08-2019 07:27 PM
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Post: #14
RE: Who pays?
If I ask, I pay, but I never do dinner on a first meet/greet. Coffee or drinks only. In the past, 80% of times I have done dinner, I never got the bang.

On another note, my #1 pet peeve are bishes who don’t bother to say thank you. If there isn’t a compelling reason to overlook it (i.e., she’s bad af) I never put myself in a position where I’m paying for shit ever again.

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01-08-2019 08:23 PM
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wellrockthecity Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Who pays?
It kind of bothers me when I invite a girl for drinks and she offers to pay the first round to be honest. Same if its a male friend. Like I invited you because I was happy to see you, why the fuck would I make you pay for the beer? Just get me the 2nd round.

I always get the first one and if she takes out her wallet I go like "what the hell are you doing?" in a semi-intimidating but not creepy way. They always give me this puppy face after, I guess the patriarchy and saving money makes them wet.

I try to avoid dinner for first date (I am doing that more in SA because girls are more conservative) but same thing.
(This post was last modified: 01-08-2019 10:01 PM by wellrockthecity.)
01-08-2019 10:00 PM
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MaceTyrell Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Who pays?
A better question would be: How much do you typically spend to get the notch?

Because splitting a $150 in 2 might seem like a good move, but you paying all in for $40 and getting the notch is more efficient.
01-09-2019 12:20 AM
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Winston Wolfe Online
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Post: #17
RE: Who pays?
On a first date (which I make sure never involves food) I'll pay. If she offers / insists on splitting, that's fine, but no sweat if she doesn't.

It's a couple drinks at most and I'm not going to possibly cockblock myself by insisting on splitting it.
01-09-2019 01:37 AM
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Bienvenuto Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Who pays?
The best dates are the dates where the least money changes hands Smile

First date? Let her offer to pay but pay anyway.

I am a man, I lead, I will be the one to lead and provide when the going gets tough.. in her heart of hearts she knows that and will feel better when I take the lead and pay.

Unless Im paying for an expensive first date but in which case then that.. would be a problem with my own game.
01-09-2019 01:44 AM
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Shimmy Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Who pays?
I always pay. I don't take girls for food in the US because they look at you like a sucker. In other countries it doesn't make a difference. For those guys going dutch or making the girl pay there are only three possible scenarios this happens:

1) You are dating a dominant alpha female and she's in control of your date and interactions.
2) You are cockblocking yourself from getting laid on that date or in the future.
3) You are dating down and the girl is at least 2-3 points lower than you and just happy to date a guy out of her league.
(This post was last modified: 01-09-2019 02:14 AM by Shimmy.)
01-09-2019 02:13 AM
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eradicator Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Who pays?
The only times I bought a girl food were on seeking arrangement.

The man should always pay. Get your finances in order if you can’t afford to buy a girl a drink. Even if I get some hotshot lawyer out for a drink or hedge fund manager or whatnot,I always pay. Women are cheap. If you make them pay, I’m convinced their pussy dries up somewhat

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01-09-2019 02:21 AM
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BaatumMania Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Who pays?
Always assumed this was some American culture thing that isn't big elsewhere. Lost count of how many times I was able to date and bang women without buying them a seafood dinner or even a Big Mac.

And sure I haven't dated a 9/10 but most 9/10s are probably models who make more money than 99% of guys on this forum (from modeling or online THOTing) so why would they be impressed by free food?
01-09-2019 02:23 AM
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Beirut Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Who pays?
I pay. If after some dates she offers ill let her get one every once in a while. I dont pay attention or keep tabs on this nor do i care unless theres some crossing the line shit going on wjth the orders.

Worrying about this shit and making it an issue seems like a giant cockblock.

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01-10-2019 01:13 AM
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LatinaLova Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Who pays?
You suggest the place to meet (near your place), girl comes. So you pay. It's common courtesy.

Usually a girl who let's you pay means she's interested. If she pays for hers, it's usually a bad sign.
01-10-2019 01:01 PM
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MaceTyrell Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Who pays?
I'm legitimately surprised at the responses to this thread, given the RVF group-think I've noticed here since 2017.

Over 2018 I went on roughly 20-25 dates, with 8 ending in the bang. In 6/8 of them the girl contributed to the date. The two who didn't, one was from SA and the other I got one round before bouncing back to my temporary logistics with a $20 bottle of wine and smoked her up.

Mind you, it's not like when the check comes I go "so let's go dutch." On one of the dates the girl offered to split it, I got the notch that night. On four others the girl got a round of the drinks - got the notch that night each time.

However maybe I'm biased - I'm coming from a "blue-pill" place where one of my biggest issues was spending too much money on women, so for me, getting the notch for as little money as possible is part of my frame-development goals. Also I'm in NYC and work for an investment fund, so I probably am already coming from a place of demonstrating high value. (not saying that to brag, just an observation).
01-11-2019 12:45 AM
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MaceTyrell Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Who pays?
(01-10-2019 01:01 PM)LatinaLova Wrote:  You suggest the place to meet (near your place), girl comes. So you pay. It's common courtesy.

Usually a girl who let's you pay means she's interested. If she pays for hers, it's usually a bad sign.

Disagree. More often that not when I pay for everything, I don't get the notch.
01-11-2019 12:49 AM
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