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Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
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Heuristics Offline
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Post: #1
Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
About 3 weeks ago I match with this girl on Bumble who's pretty cute. She lives in the sticks, nowhere near the city (about an hour out). I have nothing else really in the pipeline right now, despite quite few approaches, and the dating apps. So, because this is Bumble and she initiated contact, I decide I'm just gonna follow the lead until it yields something or she ghosts me.

So using forum advice, I establish a bit of comfort with her, and tell her I'm taking her number so we can set up a date. "She's like, oh that's pretty assertive of you, but here it is."

The holidays have been a shitty time for dates, and I think the flake rates are higher too, that and girls don't want to be sluts around Christmas time when they're with their families.

I think at this point, I understand text game decently. I've approached this whole thing as an opportunity to learn with a willing participant. I told her we needed to go on a date and she agreed. We've been going back in forth in that three weeks time because I've been out of town and so has she.

Using some of the things I've learned about text game I've:
-Stopped double texting
-Used roleplay and teasing
-used sexual innuendo etc to increase attention
-waited to respond rather than shooting off responses instantly
-I've got her to laugh a lot at what I've said
-Almost no use of emojis (I know some say 0, but i've used 2)
-Asked questions, which means I get responses always
-Done cold reads that are pretty accurate
-really established comfort with her, despite remaining a bit of an enigma myself
-Got a shitton of info on the girl
-Used DHVs numerous times
-Made her pass some compliance tests

I've really enjoyed talking to this girl on text, which is a first for me. That never happens, that either means I'm really attracted to this girl, that or shes intelligent and has a good personality that shines through our exchanges, which I can't say for most girls. This girl is gushing with approval of everything I've said (I'm trying to be most interesting man in the world via text), and she's saying she just wants to talk to me and hear everything I have to say.

So, I have a date set for Friday. I told her that was the day. And I told her where we're going. She's going to drive an hour out here for it. That's a good indication, right?

This girl is a reformed fatty so she still has a good personality because she doesn't yet realize her SMV has gone up. I see two big negatives going into this: one, she's religious so LTR-minded, two, non-drinker.

I think I've done a good job on text game, but I need to close this date out. First, dinner, I'm gonna take her to dinner (nothing expensive) because she drove out here. Take her to a place that has the type of food she likes. I see no net benefit by going to a coffee-shop, the ambiance in most of them here is bullshit. After, go dancing. Dinner alone seemed pretty weak so I realized I needed to have at least one venue-shift. I'm getting better at dancing, we'll have already met, and dancing is physical, so that's my best option because she's a non-drinker.

Does it hurt to call her today or tomorrow to reduce likelihood of flaking, and establish comfort? I have a pretty deep voice, so I'd kinda like to talk to her.

What can I do to escalate properly on the first date? I don't think I'm gonna get a bang, but I want to make sure I at least am kissing her by end of the first date, makeout etc, and getting a second date where there are more opportunities.

Normally I would not put so much thought/ detail into a first date, but this girl is into me, and I need a notch.

'Safe sex'- a term which makes one appreciative of the truth of... saying "Is having sex with a condom not like taking a shower with a raincoat on?" The ultimate goal would be... to invent "opium without opium": no wonder marihuana is so popular among liberals... it already IS... 'opium without opium'. -S. Zizek

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#yanggang
01-09-2019 04:11 PM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
So far you've done a good job of grabbing her attention, you followed the playbook well, now youv'e got her coming an hour to see you.

This means that she's invested in seeing you, instead of the opposite way around.

I personally wouldn't meet up for dinner, I'd rather meet up at a bar, get to know her a bit, shoot some pool, darts, play the guessing game of whose fucking/first date/married, etc.

To me dinners are boring, last thing I wanna do is eat as I'm trying to get to know a girl (not because I'm cheap).

Bar dates are more interactive, playful, more fun, and easier to initiate kino/escalation.

You DON'T have to drink at a bar to have fun.

I've been on dates with girls who don't drink at bars and it's fine.

OR alternatively take her to a Dave & Busters style place or something similar, whatever makes the date more interactive (I'm sure you've got a few venues locally to you).

As for callin here's what I like to do, "Hey super slammed right now, let me call around 5ish, cool?"

She'll say yes, and you'll get to vibe her a bit more over the phone.

Then tomorrow you can do a follow up confirmation a few hours before the date to see if you're both on the same time schedule.

Don't assume you won't fuck her, always assume the sale, no need to be pushy but let her prove she isn't fucking you.

This is why I like bars or more interactive venues - kino/playful/teasing you can show more of your personality there and get her out of her comfort zone.

Once you guys get comfortable around each other you start escalating the kino - obviously you probably won't but harcore making out with her, pulling her hair and choking her neck in a bar or venue (it's been done at least I've done it lol)

Your best bet is to escalate at each venue, the suggest her coming back to your place to check out X thing (X being something you cool you have or some bullshit excuse)

-the nights still young-

"We should keep this night going, how about we check out X(my dog, my records, my art, my pics, etc) OR (watch some movie or TV show you guys were talking about) at my place, you in?"

You might get a big nervous or skittish asking (hell I still do) but ASK, you'd be suprised what she says if you'd built enough comfort and attraction.

Besides, remember, she has an HOUR drive back, so she'll probably want to make most of the night with you!

Once you get her back to your pad things can get easy, especially if you've got a decent pad on some skills on knocking down shit test and last minute resistance

-Reading her body language around you
-Is she holding her purse
-Eye contact
-It's late
-I'm tired
-I'm not sure about this
-We're not having sex
-I'm on my period
-Do you have condoms?
-I'm not on birth control
-I don't want this to be just a one night stand
etc

You may "NEED" a notch - but remember it's a luxury.

There's countless things that can go wrong or right that we can't predict.


So stick the script, try reading her, adjust, and keep it going.


I look forward to a new notch report from you!

"Go be fat on someone else's time" - Henry Rollins

"i fascisti si dividono in due categorie: i fascisti e gli antifascisti" (there are two types of fascists: fascists and anti-fascists)

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(This post was last modified: 01-09-2019 04:57 PM by kaotic.)
01-09-2019 04:33 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
Some great first date advice from Hypno:

I mostly do online. When I meet my date, I begin escalating physically and leading them from the first moment. I give them a hug and a squeeze and lift them off the ground. I push them away, look them up and down, ask them to turn around so I can admire what they wore for me. Women spend an hour or more getting ready, most guys think they have to sneak a peak. Instead, invite them to show off for you and tell them how much you enjoy what they wore for you. It will make them feel appreciated and it reinforce s the frame that they are to jump through hoops to seek your approval.

At the restaurant or bar I select a booth and sit on the same side as her. I ask her an open ended question so she will talk and be distracted. To further the distraction I listen intently. At the same time, I make a point of touching her. I want her to know I'm sexually attracted to her and let her know that it's OK to touch me. At first just her hand or are, nonthreatening, but eventually I might move her hair away from her face, place my hand on her thigh, eventually play with her hair or touch her face or neck. After a while her hand will be on your thigh. Then you jump to your place and bang.

Contrast that with what most guys do. They sneak a peak at her body. They hide the fact that they are sexually attracted to her. They talk about themselves. They wait until the end of the date to physically escalate, by which time she probably put you in the nice guy category.
01-09-2019 04:36 PM
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Post: #4
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
Great tips from the fellas above. Also consider she might want to spend the night, considering the long drive (especially if she drinks).

I usually don't let girls sleep over on first dates but be prepared for it to come up so you're not caught off guard.

P.S. I wish more newbies would write like this. Keep it up

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01-09-2019 04:46 PM
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Heuristics Offline
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RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
(01-09-2019 04:33 PM)kaotic Wrote:  So far you've done a good job of grabbing her attention, you followed the playbook well, now youv'e got her coming an hour to see you.

This means that she's invested in seeing you, instead of the opposite way around.

I personally wouldn't meet up for dinner, I'd rather meet up at a bar, get to know her a bit, shoot some pool, darts, play the guessing game of whose fucking/first date/married, etc.

To me dinners are boring, last thing I wanna do is eat as I'm trying to get to know a girl (not because I'm cheap).

Bar dates are more interactive, playful, more fun, and easier to initiate kino/escalation.

You DON'T have to drink at a bar to have fun.

I've been on dates with girls who don't drink at bars and it's fine.

OR alternatively take her to a Dave & Busters style place or something similar, whatever makes the date more interactive (I'm sure you've got a few venues locally to you).

As for callin here's what I like to do, "Hey super slammed right now, let me call around 5ish, cool?"

She'll say yes, and you'll get to vibe her a bit more over the phone.

Then tomorrow you can do a follow up confirmation a few hours before the date to see if you're both on the same time schedule.

Don't assume you won't fuck her, always assume the sale, no need to be pushy but let her prove she isn't fucking you.

This is why I like bars or more interactive venues - kino/playful/teasing you can show more of your personality there and get her out of her comfort zone.

Once you guys get comfortable around each other you start escalating the kino - obviously you probably won't but harcore making out with her, pulling her hair and choking her neck in a bar or venue (it's been done at least I've done it lol)

Your best bet is to escalate at each venue, the suggest her coming back to your place to check out X thing (X being something you cool you have or some bullshit excuse)

-the nights still young-

"We should keep this night going, how about we check out X(my dog, my records, my art, my pics, etc) OR (watch some movie or TV show you guys were talking about) at my place, you in?"

You might get a big nervous or skittish asking (hell I still do) but ASK, you'd be suprised what she says if you'd built enough comfort and attraction.

Besides, remember, she has an HOUR drive back, so she'll probably want to make most of the night with you!

Once you get her back to your pad things can get easy, especially if you've got a decent pad on some skills on knocking down shit test and last minute resistance

-Reading her body language around you
-Is she holding her purse
-Eye contact
-It's late
-I'm tired
-I'm not sure about this
-We're not having sex
-I'm on my period
-Do you have condoms?
-I'm not on birth control
-I don't want this to be just a one night stand
etc

You may "NEED" a notch - but remember it's a luxury.

There's countless things that can go wrong or right that we can't predict.


So stick the script, try reading her, adjust, and keep it going.


I look forward to a new notch report from you!

You’re probably right about the dinner advise, I will change plans if I can do it in a way that doesn’t make me look like I’m loosing frame. I mean, I should be able to do whatever I want if she’s coming out here to see me.

I see what you mean about flaws of dinner dates. I want to be the fun/exciting guy, rather than the beta that does everything proper and is basically a chode. Subconsciously maybe I was thinking this girl is uncomfortable in bar environments, but I kinda forgot about the whole fun aspect to bars. Then again maybe she is, because the place we’re going dancing is a dancehall/bar/nightclub.

Thank you for the advise about phone game, that really gives me something I can try today. Anything to keep in mind when you’re on the phone with girls?

I am decent at kino and teasing. Greta advise.

If vibes are good, I will of course ask her to the house. Good point about the fact that she has an hour drive back.

My pad is suboptimal, but it is at least large and full of interesting conversation pieces, artwork, and lots and lots of films; too many to count in fact. I also have a lot of cool religious iconography that’s pretty good for starting conversations.

(01-09-2019 04:36 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  Some great first date advice from Hypno:

I mostly do online. When I meet my date, I begin escalating physically and leading them from the first moment. I give them a hug and a squeeze and lift them off the ground. I push them away, look them up and down, ask them to turn around so I can admire what they wore for me. Women spend an hour or more getting ready, most guys think they have to sneak a peak. Instead, invite them to show off for you and tell them how much you enjoy what they wore for you. It will make them feel appreciated and it reinforce s the frame that they are to jump through hoops to seek your approval.

At the restaurant or bar I select a booth and sit on the same side as her. I ask her an open ended question so she will talk and be distracted. To further the distraction I listen intently. At the same time, I make a point of touching her. I want her to know I'm sexually attracted to her and let her know that it's OK to touch me. At first just her hand or are, nonthreatening, but eventually I might move her hair away from her face, place my hand on her thigh, eventually play with her hair or touch her face or neck. After a while her hand will be on your thigh. Then you jump to your place and bang.

Contrast that with what most guys do. They sneak a peak at her body. They hide the fact that they are sexually attracted to her. They talk about themselves. They wait until the end of the date to physically escalate, by which time she probably put you in the nice guy category.

How the hell do you pull off lifting a girl off the ground in the first few moments of meeting her? I was thinking of doing the double kiss, like they do in Europe, because actually I’ve been doing that for a year when I was backpacking. What do you think? It’s congruent with who I am, I just don’t have many excuses to break it out these days. When he pushes girls away, does he literally mean that, or that you’re putting some distance between you two so you can check her out. I’m going to execute all this advise, it all exudes pure confidence.

I’m going to do everything I can start physically escalating from the first moment.

'Safe sex'- a term which makes one appreciative of the truth of... saying "Is having sex with a condom not like taking a shower with a raincoat on?" The ultimate goal would be... to invent "opium without opium": no wonder marihuana is so popular among liberals... it already IS... 'opium without opium'. -S. Zizek

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Beginner Approach Log

#yanggang
01-09-2019 05:13 PM
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Heuristics Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
(01-09-2019 04:46 PM)redbeard Wrote:  Great tips from the fellas above. Also consider she might want to spend the night, considering the long drive (especially if she drinks).

I usually don't let girls sleep over on first dates but be prepared for it to come up so you're not caught off guard.

P.S. I wish more newbies would write like this. Keep it up

You think? It's about an hour on the highway doing about 75. It must be a huge positive if she's coming to me. In fact, I've only really had this sort of situation play out before, this girl who was into me took a bus across town, about 30 minutes, when I was short-term living in Europe to come over to my neighborhood. Nevertheless, I bungled the date, chumped out, and fucked up by not pulling her back to my spot at the time.

I read this girl as pretty religious, but coming to me on a first date is incongruent with that. You know if anything, she should be like, "come to me."

As I said she's reformed fatty, so maybe her libido has gone up and she really wants to fuck... who knows.

'Safe sex'- a term which makes one appreciative of the truth of... saying "Is having sex with a condom not like taking a shower with a raincoat on?" The ultimate goal would be... to invent "opium without opium": no wonder marihuana is so popular among liberals... it already IS... 'opium without opium'. -S. Zizek

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Beginner Approach Log

#yanggang
01-09-2019 05:21 PM
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Post: #7
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
As you said...who knows? No one knows if she wants to stay over, not even her.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't be prepared.

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01-09-2019 05:27 PM
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kaotic Offline
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RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
(01-09-2019 05:13 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  You’re probably right about the dinner advise, I will change plans if I can do it in a way that doesn’t make me look like I’m loosing frame. I mean, I should be able to do whatever I want if she’s coming out here to see me.

You're not losing frame if you already want to dinner or if you're already going to go to dinner.

Some guys enjoy going to dinner because it's what they want to do, and if a woman tags along that's fine.

Quote:I see what you mean about flaws of dinner dates. I want to be the fun/exciting guy, rather than the beta that does everything proper and is basically a chode. Subconsciously maybe I was thinking this girl is uncomfortable in bar environments, but I kinda forgot about the whole fun aspect to bars. Then again maybe she is, because the place we’re going dancing is a dancehall/bar/nightclub.

Some guys like dinners, some don't.

It's personal preference, the forum does adhere mostly for guys to have fun dates and not do dinner.

Most guys do dinner dates after they banged a girl a few times.

That dancehall/bar/club venue sounds great!

Quote:Thank you for the advise about phone game, that really gives me something I can try today. Anything to keep in mind when you’re on the phone with girls?

Keep the phone call lighthearted and fun, keep it short chat up for a few minutes, then tell her you'll hit her up tomorrow afternoon before your date.

You aren't calling her to get into a deep convo or spend an hour on the phone.

Quote:I am decent at kino and teasing. Greta advise.

If vibes are good, I will of course ask her to the house. Good point about the fact that she has an hour drive back.

My pad is suboptimal, but it is at least large and full of interesting conversation pieces, artwork, and lots and lots of films; too many to count in fact. I also have a lot of cool religious iconography that’s pretty good for starting conversations.

Sounds like you've got a solid plan/excuse to bounce back to your pad.

"Go be fat on someone else's time" - Henry Rollins

"i fascisti si dividono in due categorie: i fascisti e gli antifascisti" (there are two types of fascists: fascists and anti-fascists)

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01-09-2019 06:30 PM
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Heuristics Offline
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RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
@Kaotic

Ok. That info about dinner helps.

Ok, when I call her I'll keep all that in mind.

Logistics of two cars is a bit ehhh. isn't it? Especially if there were any chance she was to bounce back to my place.

Thanks for the help on this man.

'Safe sex'- a term which makes one appreciative of the truth of... saying "Is having sex with a condom not like taking a shower with a raincoat on?" The ultimate goal would be... to invent "opium without opium": no wonder marihuana is so popular among liberals... it already IS... 'opium without opium'. -S. Zizek

The Truth About the EU
Beginner Approach Log

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01-09-2019 07:18 PM
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RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
(01-09-2019 07:18 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  @Kaotic

Ok. That info about dinner helps.

Ok, when I call her I'll keep all that in mind.

Logistics of two cars is a bit ehhh. isn't it? Especially if there were any chance she was to bounce back to my place.

Thanks for the help on this man.

For logistics, you can suggest having her meet outside your place, and you can drive together to the venue. "The last I can do is drive us around since you drove to me"

Or you can have her meet you at venue 1, if things go good, you should suggest having her drive in your car to venue 2, then both bounce to your house

That all depends on her attraction to you, how the date goes, and how much comfort you've built.

"Go be fat on someone else's time" - Henry Rollins

"i fascisti si dividono in due categorie: i fascisti e gli antifascisti" (there are two types of fascists: fascists and anti-fascists)

My Year in Review Guides 2014|2015|2016

Podcast with H3ltrsk3ltr, Cobra, and Vinman.
01-09-2019 07:59 PM
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Heuristics Offline
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RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
(01-09-2019 07:59 PM)kaotic Wrote:  
(01-09-2019 07:18 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  @Kaotic

Ok. That info about dinner helps.

Ok, when I call her I'll keep all that in mind.

Logistics of two cars is a bit ehhh. isn't it? Especially if there were any chance she was to bounce back to my place.

Thanks for the help on this man.

For logistics, you can suggest having her meet outside your place, and you can drive together to the venue. "The last I can do is drive us around since you drove to me"

Or you can have her meet you at venue 1, if things go good, you should suggest having her drive in your car to venue 2, then both bounce to your house

That all depends on her attraction to you, how the date goes, and how much comfort you've built.

Great, appreciate it.

'Safe sex'- a term which makes one appreciative of the truth of... saying "Is having sex with a condom not like taking a shower with a raincoat on?" The ultimate goal would be... to invent "opium without opium": no wonder marihuana is so popular among liberals... it already IS... 'opium without opium'. -S. Zizek

The Truth About the EU
Beginner Approach Log

#yanggang
01-09-2019 08:42 PM
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RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
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01-10-2019 02:15 AM
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Post: #13
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
If only as a newbie I was as careful ; prepared and confident as you...
I can only tell you that you are going to get what you want .

In my opinion the fact that she is religious and doesn't drink make her a potential wife material . I am the ayatollah of wedding on this forum so I strongly suggest you to behave correctly with this young lady.

Calling is a good idea but don't play a role. Keep it like you are detached from any sort of stress/emotions and try to convey good mood while staying a bit neutral / serious .

While taking take it easy ; If she is wife material you might think it s a long term investment . Even if nothing happens it is always good to keep these girls in your contact list once you have met them and made good impression .

She might give you a massive blowjob as a reward the day she feels bad after getting fucked by another guy who outfoxed her and dumped her .

And also remember that girls ( especially if reformed fatty) are often more nervous than you for.the date especially if they saw a potential in you.

Keep us updated.
And keep the golden rule in mind : you want her and she has to prove herself ; not the contrary. If she doesn't make efforts to please you- after your court - then she is not worth it.
(This post was last modified: 01-10-2019 02:19 AM by Polniy_Sostav.)
01-10-2019 02:16 AM
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RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
I have like some material prepared for the date, like travel stories, fun stuff like that. Is that ok, I want the conversation to flow, and this chick is like "I wanna hear all your stories." I'm not planning on talking the whole time, she needs to qualify herself to me. This girl likes to travel and lives a pretty boring life at the moment.

Any ideas for conversation topics that get the vibe going, etc?

'Safe sex'- a term which makes one appreciative of the truth of... saying "Is having sex with a condom not like taking a shower with a raincoat on?" The ultimate goal would be... to invent "opium without opium": no wonder marihuana is so popular among liberals... it already IS... 'opium without opium'. -S. Zizek

The Truth About the EU
Beginner Approach Log

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01-10-2019 06:01 PM
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Heuristics Offline
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RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
Flake!

Impromptu trip with her friend to the city. Don't know if it's an intentional flake or not.

I'm going to get lightly intoxicated and run night-game tonight.

Maybe I'll see if she'll come see me tonight.

'Safe sex'- a term which makes one appreciative of the truth of... saying "Is having sex with a condom not like taking a shower with a raincoat on?" The ultimate goal would be... to invent "opium without opium": no wonder marihuana is so popular among liberals... it already IS... 'opium without opium'. -S. Zizek

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Beginner Approach Log

#yanggang
01-10-2019 06:14 PM
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kaotic Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
If she asks you questions she's interested, but you should flip the script make her talk about herself.

You're right she needs to qualify herself.


The farther a girl is away from you, the higher the odds she'll flake.

Did she ask to reschedule or ask for a rain check? If so, that's good meaning she's counter offering - respond to that tomorrow.

If she didn't asking to reschedule or rain check, go silent on her and restart her Sunday afternoon/evening. DO NO TEXT HER AGAIN TONIGHT.

Then try and plan another meet up.

By then you'll have gauged her interest and can decide how much energy to use on her.

Keep running your night game and approaching.

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01-10-2019 06:36 PM
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Heuristics
Heuristics Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
(01-10-2019 06:36 PM)kaotic Wrote:  If she asks you questions she's interested, but you should flip the script make her talk about herself.

You're right she needs to qualify herself.


The farther a girl is away from you, the higher the odds she'll flake.

Did she ask to reschedule or ask for a rain check? If so, that's good meaning she's counter offering - respond to that tomorrow.

If she didn't asking to reschedule or rain check, go silent on her and restart her Sunday afternoon/evening. DO NO TEXT HER AGAIN TONIGHT.

Then try and plan another meet up.

By then you'll have gauged her interest and can decide how much energy to use on her.

Keep running your night game and approaching.

Yeah.

She asked to reschedule so I’m trying to peg something down. The thing is she’s not here tomorrow, but she said earlier in the week Thursday or Friday was good, so maybe I can make her stick to her word.

All things considered it’s a good thing I called her. Calling holds a woman a lot more accountable than fucking endless texting, which is a perfect excuse for flaking or ghosting.

Thanks for the help man.

'Safe sex'- a term which makes one appreciative of the truth of... saying "Is having sex with a condom not like taking a shower with a raincoat on?" The ultimate goal would be... to invent "opium without opium": no wonder marihuana is so popular among liberals... it already IS... 'opium without opium'. -S. Zizek

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Beginner Approach Log

#yanggang
01-10-2019 06:57 PM
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Forseti Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
Heuristics - It looks like you are getting some great advice from Chaotic. I've learned from reading the various questions and responses. Let us know if you are able to reschedule and how the date turns out. And, let us know how tonight's outing went for you.
01-10-2019 11:22 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
When you get that drought breaking bang you owe Kaotic a beer for helping out a brother, man he is giving you the wisdom in this thread.
01-11-2019 12:30 AM
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Heuristics
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Post: #20
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
(01-10-2019 06:01 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  I have like some material prepared for the date, like travel stories, fun stuff like that. Is that ok, I want the conversation to flow, and this chick is like "I wanna hear all your stories." I'm not planning on talking the whole time, she needs to qualify herself to me. This girl likes to travel and lives a pretty boring life at the moment.

Any ideas for conversation topics that get the vibe going, etc?

Having stories does help, especially if they are humorous or show your passion for something but I know what you mean that about talking too much. I often overtalk because I get too excited about the story but I do find that doing it once or twice makes the date go smoother. Lets me be a bit vulnerable as well and gauge her reaction.

I find it works well if you can instantly qualify her after your story. E.g. I like to tell them a story about getting in trouble with police when I was young as the whole story is just so stupid but funny. Then I turn it around and ask: What about you, have you been involved in any criminal activity? Usually they say no or laugh about it. I dig deeper and say: Well, what's the worse thing you've done. Then they think about it and tell you a story. If it's lame, you can make fun of her being a goody girl or something. Ocassionaly they actually have pretty interesting stories and you can thread off the topic they bring up.

I like this because I can use it to create a nickname for her as well. One girl told me the worst thing she did was steal cherries as a kid (yeah right). Anyway, any time after that if she was joking at my expense or anything I want to turn around, I just say, "but you are the cherry thief, I can do whatever I want" or something similar and it sets a chilled vibe but also makes it seem like you have common inside jokes.
01-11-2019 08:07 AM
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Heuristics Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
Kaotic, I once again have to thank you for your wisdom and thoughtful responses.

I need to back up to the phone call to give things more context, I think. I call at 5 she doesn't answer. She calls me back 5 minutes later, and I pickup after the third ring. I get some banter going, and she's laughing pretty quickly. Then I transition to talking about the date, and she's like "oh, I'm so sorry, my friend isn't doing that well at all, so I'm driving to San Antonio tomorrow to see her and make sure she's doing alright." She then says, "I'm not trying to blow you off, but this came up at the last moment, so I hope we can reschedule." All told, about a 5-8 minute phone call.

I was pushing for a date yesterday before she left, but I'm going silent with her until she gets back. Maybe she'll initiate contact. Ball is in her court. Related: I'll post about my nightgame last night on my other thread.

(01-11-2019 08:07 AM)coffeedrinker Wrote:  
(01-10-2019 06:01 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  I have like some material prepared for the date, like travel stories, fun stuff like that. Is that ok, I want the conversation to flow, and this chick is like "I wanna hear all your stories." I'm not planning on talking the whole time, she needs to qualify herself to me. This girl likes to travel and lives a pretty boring life at the moment.

Any ideas for conversation topics that get the vibe going, etc?

Having stories does help, especially if they are humorous or show your passion for something but I know what you mean that about talking too much. I often overtalk because I get too excited about the story but I do find that doing it once or twice makes the date go smoother. Lets me be a bit vulnerable as well and gauge her reaction.

I find it works well if you can instantly qualify her after your story. E.g. I like to tell them a story about getting in trouble with police when I was young as the whole story is just so stupid but funny. Then I turn it around and ask: What about you, have you been involved in any criminal activity? Usually they say no or laugh about it. I dig deeper and say: Well, what's the worse thing you've done. Then they think about it and tell you a story. If it's lame, you can make fun of her being a goody girl or something. Ocassionaly they actually have pretty interesting stories and you can thread off the topic they bring up.

I like this because I can use it to create a nickname for her as well. One girl told me the worst thing she did was steal cherries as a kid (yeah right). Anyway, any time after that if she was joking at my expense or anything I want to turn around, I just say, "but you are the cherry thief, I can do whatever I want" or something similar and it sets a chilled vibe but also makes it seem like you have common inside jokes.

I appreciate your input man. I have an overtalking problem too, especially if girls are being boring or slow to get to the point.

The stuff about stories is great. I usually ask questions like, "are you really interesting or is it just a front?" "what's the most rebellious thing you've done?" and, my favorite, "what type of girl were you in high school?"; I don't know why I like the last one so much, but i usually can get a really quick understanding of their personality, social status by asking it.

Inside jokes are great, I often use nicknames too.

'Safe sex'- a term which makes one appreciative of the truth of... saying "Is having sex with a condom not like taking a shower with a raincoat on?" The ultimate goal would be... to invent "opium without opium": no wonder marihuana is so popular among liberals... it already IS... 'opium without opium'. -S. Zizek

The Truth About the EU
Beginner Approach Log

#yanggang
01-11-2019 02:06 PM
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kaotic
coffeedrinker Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
(01-11-2019 02:06 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  I appreciate your input man. I have an overtalking problem too, especially if girls are being boring or slow to get to the point.

The stuff about stories is great. I usually ask questions like, "are you really interesting or is it just a front?" "what's the most rebellious thing you've done?" and, my favorite, "what type of girl were you in high school?"; I don't know why I like the last one so much, but i usually can get a really quick understanding of their personality, social status by asking it.

Inside jokes are great, I often use nicknames too.


Going to have to steal that last question. I can see how just the reaction to the question will be so enlightening haha.

Keep it going btw! I enjoy your posts as the positivity motivates me too.
(This post was last modified: 01-11-2019 04:28 PM by coffeedrinker.)
01-11-2019 04:27 PM
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crispytaco Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
Dude, can you cook at home?
I mean so you can cook something together? Then you can sit in the couch and escalate easily.
01-12-2019 08:48 AM
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Post: #24
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
(01-10-2019 02:16 AM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  In my opinion the fact that she is religious and doesn't drink make her a potential wife material . I am the ayatollah of wedding on this forum so I strongly suggest you to behave correctly with this young lady.

(01-10-2019 02:16 AM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  If she is wife material you might think it s a long term investment .

This is a very dangerous way of thinking about someone you haven't met. Even after meeting a chick, it's not a good idea to put her on a pedestal just because she has one or two traits that you consider desirable. She may have traits that allow you to quickly rule her out as far as a long term relationship goes, it takes a lot longer to find out if she is worthy.

Sounds like OP already has the right mindset. So this post isn't for him. But this is the line of thinking that makes inexperienced guys get hung up on that one woman who doesn't want him. It is counterproductive to put her in the "marriage potential" box before you get to know her. Or even meet her.
01-13-2019 05:00 AM
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Heuristics Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Set up a date with a girl from Bumble, have I done things correctly so far?
@crisoytaco: ya I'm a pretty decent cook.

'Safe sex'- a term which makes one appreciative of the truth of... saying "Is having sex with a condom not like taking a shower with a raincoat on?" The ultimate goal would be... to invent "opium without opium": no wonder marihuana is so popular among liberals... it already IS... 'opium without opium'. -S. Zizek

The Truth About the EU
Beginner Approach Log

#yanggang
01-21-2019 03:04 PM
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